


An Unexpected Love

by angels3



Series: The Love Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - J2, An Unexpected Love, Love verse, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-24
Updated: 2012-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-10 14:38:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 162,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/467420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angels3/pseuds/angels3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grief stricken over the death of his brother, cynical movie maverick Jared Padalecki did the unthinkable - he sought comfort in the arms of his brother's fiancee. The morning after, they both realized their mistake and left for their separate lives. Only Jared can't forget Jensen's soft lips and beautiful eyes. Even as Jared was beginning to think he had to see him again, Jensen came to him.</p><p>Jensen was pregnant with his child. His - not his brother's. Jared knew he wanted Jensen more than he'd ever wanted any other man or woman.</p><p>First he had to marry him.</p><p>Then he had to make Jensen love him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am basing this story off a book I read fourteen years ago. I do actually have the book but I will not be using it to write this story. I will be going from my memory of what happened in it, there will be some things that run the way the book did and lots that will not as this is a J2 and mpreg on top of that. The only thing that will be word for word, and then not really, will be the summary since I couldn't do it justice any other way.
> 
> Based on the book Scandals by JoAnn Ross

Jensen lay on the bed, eyes red and puffy, and his face the splotchy color of someone who had been crying for days. He stared at the closet where his tuxedo was still cocooned in its bag. Today was supposed to be his wedding day, instead he would be attending a funeral. The sob, he'd been battling for the past hour tore from his throat, his body trembling with grief and exhaustion.

\------------------------------------------------------

The last message on his phone from Jeff was a promise that this was their last run down the mountain and then they were hauling ass back to the room, and he expected Jensen to warm him up when he got there. Jensen could hear Jared in the background yelling for Jeff to hurry up before they were skiing in the dark.

He’d been sitting in the hotel dining room when the alarm went up that there had been an avalanche on the north face of the mountain. Jensen had no idea how he made it back to his room."

For three days he'd held on to the possibility that Jeff would be found alive, prayed to God and every idol, he could think of that he wouldn't lose the best thing in his life. There had been a glimmer of hope when Jared had been pulled free from a snowy grave a day into the search, he'd been able to survive because an air pocket had formed when the snow poured down around him.

Jeff had not been so lucky. Jared refused to return to the hotel without his brother, he wouldn't even allow the rescue teams doctor to look at him. Ultimately, he was the one who found Jeff. A small bit of red showing through the snow, and Jared was digging with his bare hands, no amount of begging or pleading moved him until he uncovered his brother. Jensen met them on the front steps of the hotel as the crews came back, fear freezing him at the bottom step as Jared jumped from the cab of one of the plows. Jared's eyes were filled with grief and Jensen knew before Jared gently lifted the body of his brother into his arms, that his life would never be the same.

\---------------------------------------------------

Jensen stepped onto the back porch of Jeff's parents house. The funeral had been just what he'd expected, people crying through the chapel, eulogies given by people from all walks of life. Jeff was pure sunshine and anyone that had ever been touched by him knew it. Jerry and Sherri had asked that he sit with the family. Even though the wedding had never taken place, they already considered Jensen part of the family. He found it hard to look at Jared.

The man didn't take his sunglasses off even when he gave his part of the eulogy. Jared told of the boy that had been bright as the sun, who grew into a man that anyone would be proud to call his friend, but Jared got to call his brother. He talked of Jeff's single-minded determination to finish medical school, so he could help people and not just listen to people talk about it. Jared's voice held strong through his memories of his brother, wavering only when he looked at his parents. Jensen felt like he was looking straight at him and yet was completely shocked when Jared spoke his name and thanked him for loving his brother. Jared had seen Jeff the happiest he'd ever been over the last year, and it was because he was in love and was loved in return.

Jared had always been an enigma. Jeff adored him and the affection seemed to go both ways, but where Jeff was fun loving and light hearted, Jared was serious and very focused. Jensen wasn't ever really sure if Jared approved of his and Jeff's friendship much less their relationship years later. He couldn't fault Jared's love for his brother though, when Jeff didn't want the normal bachelor party, instead wanting to go skiing with his brother, Jared couldn’t say no. He even stopped production on the movie he'd been directing to do just that for several days.

Jensen snapped back to the present when the screen door thumped behind him and Jared walked to his side. They said nothing for several minutes, preferring to look out at the snow covered woods behind the house. Jensen used to love snow, so beautiful in its white pristine state, hanging onto branches and coating everything in clean icy lines. Now all he could see when he looked out onto the landscape was death and darkness. He turned at the sound of a can popping open. The truth was, he hadn't paid much attention to Jared since coming back to the house, lost in his own pain, but when he looked up, Jared’s sunglasses were hanging around the his neck, and it looked as if he was seven cans into a twelve pack.

Jensen never could get a handle on what made Jared tick. He had grown up in the Padalecki house, his mom being the head of their domestic help. Jeffery and Jensen had been inseparable from the start. They played together, went to school together and, on more than one occasion, got into trouble together. One of the most memorable times had been when they had ridden their bikes into town, ditching school and hanging out in the arcade, eating ice cream until they were sick to their stomachs. Sometimes Jensen wondered if he'd stolen Jeff away from Jared and the thought always made him sad.

The house had been in an uproar when they got back, the school had called their parents. Jared who was two years older and went to the high school down the street was called to the principal’s office and taken home before anyone would tell him what was going on. Everyone was understandably upset when they both walked through the front door, grubby and nauseous but otherwise unharmed. They hadn't seen daylight for a month, but Jensen still thought it was worth it to this day.

Jared was leaning heavily on the porch post, tipping back another can of beer. Jensen watched blankly as he didn't stop until he drained the can completely, crumpling it in huge hands and hurling it towards the barn. Jensen watched as it arced through the air bouncing off the garden wall. He grimaced when he heard another top pop, jumping a little when something nudged against his arm. When he looked back over, Jared was offering him a beer, still not looking at him but staring straight ahead. Jensen knew getting drunk wouldn't change anything, but if it could help him forget for just a little while, numb the pain for just a moment, it might just be worth it, so he accepted the offer.

"Had to get some air," Jared mumbled.

Jensen wasn't sure a response was needed so he just nodded, tipping back the can and draining the contents. He startled when Jared pushed off the column, fumbling with something in his pocket, when he pulled out his car keys Jensen's heart stopped and then started beating triple time.

"Jared what are you doing?"

"I can't be here right now, I can't breathe."

"I don't think it's a good idea if you drive. Why don't you go lay down and sleep it off some before you think about leaving"? Jensen tried to reason.

"How about no. I've got a case in the truck and if that's not enough I have a bottle of the good stuff." Jared slurred, finally getting his keys untangled from the inside of his pants. He held them up, searching for the key to his truck, and in the process of grabbing for the right one, dropped them.

Jensen quickly leaned down and picked them up before Jared could gain some coordination

"Let me drive you home. Your parents don't need to lose their other son tonight."

Jared stared at him for a few minutes like he was trying to work a puzzle before nodding, and stumbling down the steps.

"All right, but I'm not going home. I'm going up to the cabin," he said.

Jensen heaved a sigh, not sure he’d done the right thing. The cabin was closer, but it would be fucking cold since no one had taken the time to get it ready for company. He followed Jared down the steps, rounding the four by four and climbing into the seat. Jared crawled into the passenger seat, reaching back to grab another can of beer. Jensen shook his head as he pulled out of the driveway. He had to take it slowly since the snow was falling again.

Jared could have probably driven himself, since the drive consisted of back roads along their property, and there was no chance Jared could have hurt anyone but himself. Jensen felt it would be disloyal to Jeff to let his brother wrap his truck around a tree. It took them about fifteen minutes to make it up the rutted trail and to the cabin's front door, Jensen praying the whole way that the truck wouldn't get stuck. He didn't favor a walk in the snow, especially in the slick bottomed dress shoes he was still wearing.

He groaned when he stepped down and sunk up to his shin in cold wet snow. He was even more miffed that Jared, who had to be three sheets to the wind, was out of the truck, juggling a bag and the case of beer. Jensen rounded the truck, reaching out to grab the bag from Jared, so he could open the door when his shoe lost purchase on a hidden sheet of ice, and he tumbled backwards into the snow. Jared turned at his yelp of surprise, too stunned to do anything but stare for a moment. Jared leant forward to offer him a hand up but Jensen was trying to save some of his dignity and pushed to his feet, only to have them fly out from under him again.

Jared shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the door, finally getting the key in and opening it. Jensen was able to gain his feet the second time but his clothes were completely soaked, and he was already starting to shiver. He trudged into the cabin, slamming the door behind him, still grumbling to himself about letting dumb ass men drink themselves stupid and being a new tree ornament. Jared seemed completely unconcerned as he set about building a fire and drinking himself into alcohol poisoning.

The sound of Jensen's teeth rattling was also apparently enough to cut through Jared's drunken haze. He frowned at the soaked material sticking to Jensen's body and the blue tinge to his skin. He shook his head trying to clear it and figure out just when Jensen had gotten wet. He gave up when the sound of teeth chattering distracted him, he stood and went to the closet and pulled out blankets, there was no way in hell he was going to be the cause of someone else dying.

"Hey, take off those wet clothes and wrap up. I'll set them by the fire, and they should dry," Jared said as he sat back down in front of the fire.

Jensen looked at him like he'd lost his mind before another shiver racked his body. He walked to the far side of the room, tugged off his wet clothes, and wrapped himself in the large blanket. He carefully sat back down in front of the fire and took the whiskey Jared offered him, drinking right from the bottle. The slow burn spread through his limbs and warmed blood sluggish from the cold. It wasn't long before he'd caught up with Jared in the inebriated department.

If you asked them later, neither one knew who made the first move nor even why the move was made, but Jensen couldn't deny the feel of Jared's tongue and teeth marking the delicate skin along his neck and behind his ear, nor the hard line of Jared's cock pressed against his own, the thin material of boxers and fine fabric doing little to mask the heat and the smell of arousal that surrounded them.

The pace at which clothes disappeared was frantic, the need to feel warm skin moving and shifting together, an affirmation of life after losing so much. If Jared felt the drops hitting the backs of his hands where they held Jensen to him, then he thought it was only fair not to say anything when he was certain Jensen could taste the evidence of his own grief falling down his cheeks.

Jensen shifted further up on his knees trying to rush Jared, needing to have the void that was eating at his body and soul filled. He'd think about the care Jared took with him later, even in the desperate state they were in, reaching for something neither one could name but couldn't breathe without. Jared growled in the back of his throat when Jensen reached behind himself and pulled the fingers buried deep inside away. He quickly lowered himself onto Jared's cock, the stretch and burn sizzling through his body.

Jared's nerves were on overload as tight, wet heat closed around him, dragging a shuddering moan from his throat, his hands grasping Jensen's waist helping him maintain his balance, and rhythm. The quiet whimpers and breathy moans driving Jared out of his mind, the pace quickening. Jared leaned his back against the couch, lifting Jensen up until only the head of his cock was still held within the tight ring of muscle. He met each downward drop with a roll and thrust of his hips, the friction almost too much but not quite enough.

Jensen's hands were braced on his shoulders, holding on and providing leverage for even deeper thrusts, Jared changed the angle, battering Jensen's prostate again and again, until he felt the fine tremors start to rack the body above him. Jensen's head was thrown back and Jared took the opportunity to lean in and bite the freckled collarbone that had been tempting him for the last several minutes. Jensen's guttural shout as he came in hot, pulsing waves over both their stomachs, and the muscles convulsing around Jared's cock, sent him over the edge.

Jared thrust once more, holding Jensen still, grinding his hips up trying to stay as far inside the tight heat surrounding him, as long as he possibly could. His cock throbbed and jerked, shooting milky jets of come deep inside Jensen's body. Jensen was slumped forward, his head resting on Jared's shoulder, both of them panting out breaths of exertion. Several minutes slipped by before Jared had the strength to lift Jensen carefully free, it was then that he realized Jensen had passed out. He wrapped them both up, the cabin's air chilly against the sweat cooling on their bodies, falling asleep quickly for the first time in a week.

\-----------------------------------------------

Jared woke several hours later as the shadows giving way to night. The fire had died to small flickering lights and very little warmth. He quickly threw more logs in, stoking it until the flames were high enough to illuminate the man laying on his stomach three feet away from where he was crouched. He quietly slid back under the covers, careful not to jostle Jensen, the thought of the coming confrontation not something he was looking forward to. Jared turned on his side, propping himself on his elbow and cradling his head in his hand.

He'd never given Jensen much thought other than in the context of Jeff's best friend, boyfriend and then eventually fiance. Jensen had pretty much just always been quiet and shy, that is, unless he and Jeff had been getting into trouble. Jensen seemed to ghost through the house, treading quietly and quickly when he'd been around. Not that he'd noticed at the time, but looking back now, it was almost as if Jensen had been afraid of him.

Jared had spent time with his brother, but Jared had been older, and eventually he'd gone away to college, not coming home as often as he should have. He remembered how shocked he'd been when he moved back to town to find that Jensen was living in Paris since it didn't seem entirely normal to see Jeff without Jensen. His brother told him that Jensen had to go there in order to study with the artists he'd chosen for his project. Jared could tell Jeff was bothered by something, but he hadn't felt like sharing and Jared didn't feel like it was his place to push.

A quiet whimper caught Jared's attention. He ran his finger along Jensen cheek, drying the tears that were slowly falling. Jared had never noticed how long Jensen's eyelashes were before that moment. They brushed freckled skin, wet with slowly falling tears. Jared continued to map out the body beside him, his brow furrowing at the dozens of faint silvery lines marring the smooth expanse of Jensen's back. He reached out tracing one with the tip of his finger, wondering what they were from.

"Please don't,"

The request was spoken so quietly Jared thought, he might have imagined it. Jensen's eyes blinked open and he was staring into bruised green eyes, once sparkling with life, now dulled by heartache. Jared pulled his hand away, lay down on his back and watched the firelight flicker across the ceiling. When he looked back over, Jensen had closed his eyes but Jared didn't think he was asleep. His body was tense and the tears that had been falling subconsciously had stopped. Jared sighed and closed his eyes too. A few more hours sleep would, hopefully, help him decide what to do about the mess he'd managed to make.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen woke again with sun streaming across his face, blinding him with its brightness. His head was pounding and other things were making themselves known as well. He groaned softly as he shifted, trying to find a way to hide from the light stabbing through his head, but he pulled up short when he encountered a warm body lying beside him. Jensen froze, searching his memory for an explanation. When it came, he couldn't decide if running or dying was a better option.

He had gotten drunk and had sex. Not only had he had sex on the day his fiance was buried, he'd had it with his dead fiance's brother. Jensen wasn't promiscuous by nature. He never did one night stands, always needing a physical relationship to be balanced with an emotional one as well. He honestly couldn't blame what had happened solely on himself or the alcohol, but the need to be touched and loved had been a physical ache.

Jensen finally opened his eyes, looking over at the man radiating heat like a furnace. Jared was sleeping, breathing softly through parted lips, eyelashes brushing tanned flesh. There were similarities and yet so many differences. They shared the same forehead and nose, but where Jeff's lips were thin, Jared's were full. Their eyes were the same blue/green but Jared's were what could only be compared to a cat's, tilted and fringed with long dark lashes. The biggest difference though was their personalities. Where Jeff's had been bright and full of light, Jared was intense and very focused.

Jensen quietly slid from under the covers, quietly retrieving his clothes and dressing. He went about picking up the discarded cans and bottles, throwing them in a trash bag and setting it by the door. He sat down, albeit carefully, and waited for Jared to wake up. He continued to go over the night’s events in his head, from the drinking to the sex, and what the hell had they used for lube, because obviously it hadn't been a lot of anything.

Jensen felt like shit. He didn't know if what happened could be classified as cheating since Jeff was dead, but that's exactly what it felt like, a betrayal of the worst kind. He wished he could take some comfort in the fact that Jared would be feeling even worse, but he couldn't. Jared had needed the same reaffirmation of life that he had, and while it had been a mistake, it was one that could at least be explained away by mutual grief. He was sitting with his head in his hands when Jared started to stir.

Jared groaned as he moved his head. He swore there were at least three elephants in there stomping around, and then he remembered fucking his dead brother's fiance the night before and it hit him in the gut, like a well placed fist. He barely made it into the bathroom before losing what was left of the liquor sloshing around in his stomach. The burn of it coming back up was enough to take last night off his mind, at least for a little while. A cool cloth was placed against the back of his neck, and a cup of water set on the sink before he felt Jensen move away and into the other room.

Jared found his clothes sitting outside the bathroom door and dressed quickly. He had no idea how he was going to look Jensen in the eyes. Even though he knew they were both to blame, he couldn’t help feeling like he’d taken advantage of the situation. Jensen was sitting in the same chair he'd been in when Jared first woke up, his head leaned back against the wall and his eyes closed.

"Stop," Jensen said quietly.

"Stop what?"

"The guilt. It's not going to do either of us any good. We got drunk, and as stupid as it was, we didn't hurt anyone but ourselves. I'm just as responsible for this as you are so lets just leave it at that. We both needed to be with someone last night, someone who understood what the other was feeling. It doesn't need to be this huge thing. You have your life and I have mine. Jeff would understand."

"You think Jeff would understand that I got drunk and fucked his fiance?" Jared asked, a little anger creeping into his tone.

"No, I think Jeff would understand that we were both hurting so bad last night that we needed something to hold on to. I think he'd be happy that we took care of each other and didn't do something unforgivable. This is forgivable. This was a one time thing born from the loss of someone very special to both of us."

"Okay...." Jared breathed, not entirely sure how to react to Jensen's quiet declaration.

The thing was, Jensen was probably right that if it were going to happen, Jeff would have wanted it to be with a person that he trusted.

"I think it's time to get back. I'm sure your parents are worrying about where you are, since cells don't get service here, and they can't get up with you," Jensen suggested.

"Yeah," Jared mumbled, still not quite believing he wasn't going to have to deal with a meltdown on either of their parts. Of course, he was sure once he shut the door to his apartment, he'd be freaking plenty.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Thirty minutes later, Jared was dropping Jensen off at his car. Jared wanted him to come in and at least eat, but Jensen didn't think he could face Jeff's parents, especially smelling of alcohol and sex. When Jensen started his car and shut the door he thought he was shutting it on all things Padalecki. As much as he loved Jeff, he didn't think he could be reminded of what he'd lost every time he entered the house, and with what had happened at the cabin it was probably for the best anyway.

There was no way he could know how wrong he was


	2. Chapter 2

Jared sat with his elbows on his desk, head in his hands, coming to terms with some hard home truths. He was distracted, forgetful and completely addled. Even Chad, his assistant, had asked him if he was okay. Jared was pretty sure Chad was ready to strangle him, having gone from an anal retentive boss that needed very little help to not even being able to remember where he'd left his cell phone, much less who his next appointment was with.

Chad had worked for him for several years now, one of the few people that seemed to let his intense, and sometimes blunt, personality roll right off his back. In fact they had become close friends outside of work. They seemed the most unlikely of friends, but Chad's offbeat sense of humor and ability to cut loose, helped balance Jared's own rather dry sense of humor.

Chad thought the change in his personality was related to his brother's death, and to a certain extent Jared was sure it did, but that was only a small part of it, and that made him feel like shit. No, Jared knew it had more to do with full lips, bright green eyes, and a generous heart. Jared had never been in love before, lust several glorious times, but never love. That was, until now. It was the only explanation for the changes he felt, not to mention the ache that seemed to grow in his chest every time he thought of Jensen.

Jensen had always been stunning to look at, he could remember the first time Jensen stepped foot into his parents house, big green eyes and full lips that always made him look like he was pouting just a little. Jeff had been instantly fascinated with the quiet boy, gravitating to the sadness that seemed to cling to Jensen, Jeff's need to fix people evident even then. It had taken months for Jeff to get Jensen to open up, refusing to give up, knowing that underneath was something special. Jared couldn't even keep up with how many times Jensen had come running into the house, cradling a baby bird that had fallen from it's nest, or bunnies whose mother had gotten hit by a car. The careful way he held them and the tears shimmering in his eyes when Jeff couldn't fix it.

The more Jared thought about it, the more he realized he'd been watching all along, but Jensen had always belonged to Jeff. Maybe he'd never have noticed if Jeff hadn't died and they hadn't slept together, but he noticed now.

He was no closer to deciding how to approach Jensen with his discovery than he had been days ago. Jared was used to being able to think his problems through to a solution, but love was an entirely different problem. It had multiple equations and dozens of solutions and Jared was determined to find the right one but convincing Jensen was another matter. Just because he'd decided that he loved Jensen, didn't mean the other man looked as their sleeping together as anything other than a mistake.

It was a really depressing thought, but he'd never been one to run from a challenge, and he was positive that Jensen Ross Ackles would be the biggest he'd ever tackled. However, Jared also believed it would be the most rewarding and life altering accomplishment of his life. He'd just sat back and started going through scripts in search of his next project, when Chad buzzed him.

"Jared, there's a gentleman here to see you, says he doesn't have an appointment, but that it's important," Chad informed him.

Jared found it comical every time Chad called someone a lady or gentleman, since his default setting when they went out was dude or chick. Jared scowled at the interruption. It happened at least three times a week, some hopeful wanting to catch a break would show up trying to be seen. He didn't usually mind so much, giving them a few minutes out of his day. Everyone deserved a chance, even if 99.9% of them didn't have a clue.

"Did he happen to say what he wanted?" Jared asked gruffly.

"No, he said it was personal and to tell you his name was Jason," Chad's put upon voice echoed across the speaker.

Jared scrubbed a hand across his face. He heard muffled talking before Chad's voice came back on.

"Sorry, I was told his name is not Jason, it's Jensen," Chad intoned sarcastically.

Jared was so shocked, he didn't realize he hadn't said anything until Chad's voice cut through his daze.

"Jared! Do you want me to show him the door?" Chad asked, impatience coloring his voice.

"No, show him in and bring some coffee," Jared answered, standing quickly so he could smooth out non-existent wrinkles in his clothes.

"Really?" disbelief floated over the speaker.

"Yes, really," Jared growled.

"Fine, Jesus," Chad whined.

Jared could hear him mumbling something to himself that sounded suspiciously close to cranky bitch before he clicked off. A minute later, the door opened and Chad ushered Jensen through.

"I'll be right back with the coffee. How would you like yours?" Chad asked Jensen.

"None for me thanks, but if you wouldn't mind, some water would be nice," Jensen said, smiling.

Chad backed out of the room, quirking an eyebrow at Jared as soon as Jensen's back was turned.

Jared ignored him and offered Jensen a seat, taking one himself on the sofa. He frowned as he took in the man sitting across from him. Jensen's face was very pale, and he looked like he'd lost weight. He was fidgeting with a string on his shirt and biting his lip.

Jensen, for his part, was a wreck. He knew he wasn't the picture of calm, but he couldn't seem to be still. It had taken him days to decide on this course of action, and he knew it was going to be hard, but he had no idea the attack of nerves that would hit him once in front of Jared.

"I didn't know you smoked," Jensen said when the silence of the room became too much.

"I don't, that's from and interested investor. For some reason, he thinks he needs to smoke Cuban cigars and drink brandy when he's discussing business," Jared scoffed.

"Oh, well that's good," Jensen muttered vaguely.

"So why did you come to see me?" Jared asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"Well I...." Jensen trailed off as Chad tapped on the door, opening it and bringing in their drinks.

Chad made a quick departure, leaving them alone once again.

"You were saying?" Jared prompted, blowing on his coffee, and taking a tentative sip.

When no answer was forthcoming, he glanced up at Jensen to see what the delay was. Jensen had turned a disturbing color of green, and his mouth was pressed in a tight line. The next thing Jared knew, Jensen bolted from his seat with every intent of finding a bathroom, or at least that was Jared's assumption. Instead, however, Jensen seemed to sway for just a second. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he crumpled to the floor. Jared grabbed his arm to keep him from bouncing his head off the slate flooring

Jared's shout of surprise brought Chad running, not that he had to run very far. He'd been hovering in the conference room next door, curiosity and worry eating at him in turns. When he burst into the room, Jared was on the floor with Jensen's head lying on his thigh, and out cold.

They quickly placed Jensen on the sofa, elevating his feet, and loosening the buttons on the top of his shirt. Jared placed Jensen’s head on a thin pillow and turned it to the side to keep him from choking on his tongue. Chad hurried back with a wet cloth, and Jared placed it over Jensen's forehead, settling down on the floor to keep watch.

"What happened?" Chad whispered.

"I don't know. He looked like he was going to be sick, and then he passed out," Jared whispered back.

"Should I call an ambulance?"

"No, let’s see if he comes to on his own first. I don't think he'd be happy with a lot of fuss."

Jared had no idea why he thought that. The idea just popped into his head, but the more he thought about it, the more he was certain it would be the case.

"Turn on the ceiling fan and leave the door open. I think that cigar smoke made him sick." Jared reached out and grabbed Chad's arm as he moved to the switch on the wall.

"Do me a favor cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day." Jared said, shocking Chad for the third time in the same day.

"Okay. Jared exactly who is this guy?" Chad asked. He'd held out as long as he could, not knowing, especially with Jared's odd behavior, was starting to drive him nuts.

"He was Jeff's fiancé," Jared answered quietly, never taking his eyes off Jensen.

Chad left the room to make the calls. He was still a little stunned by the afternoons events, but now didn't seem to be the time to put his confusion into questions. He was aware of Jared's bi-sexuality, but in recent years Jared seemed to have been drawn to mostly women. Today's little twists seemed to have put the needle solidly back onto the male side of the scale. Chad knew people underestimated his observational skills. He saw plenty, he just didn't always want other people to know that.

He'd never seen his boss act the way he had in the last few weeks, the lack of focus and forgetfullness had started to worry him. Now he wasn't so sure his origional assumption that Jared losing his brother was the cause. Chad had seen Jared work his magic on any number of conquests, but the way he looked at Jensen was compeletly different. Yeah he saw something all right, he saw Jared utterly and completely gone over this guy.

He smirked a little to himself, he never thought he'd see the day. It wasn’t that Jared treated people poorly, just the opposite in fact, but they always knew going in where they stood with him. He liked his dates simple and without strings, always saying he had enough stress at work without going home to it every night. Chad was extremely happy that someone had finally caught Jared's attention, he just worried that this guy Jensen wouldn't feel the same.

Jared sat quietly, watching for any change in Jensen. He mentally flipped through every scenario he could think of, trying to figure what was wrong with the man laying so still in front of him. Jared was going to give him fifteen minutes to start waking up, and then he was calling the ambulance himself. Ten minutes into the deadline, Jensen's eyelids fluttered and a small moan breached full pink lips. He continued to watch until green eyes opened and focused on him.

Jensen's eyes popped open, latching on to Jared's as the memory of where he was and what must have happened made him bolt upright, only for the lightheadedness to return. He flopped backwards again, trying to remember when he'd ever been this embarrassed before. He couldn't believe the absolute lack of control he had over his own body. When he walked into Jared's office, the overpowering scent of cigar smoke had almost sent him running. He clamped his mouth shut and tried to take shallow breathes through pursed lips.

He'd been getting a handle on the nausea when Jared started to sip his coffee. The smell of hot, rich French roasted beans turned his stomach upside down, and his only thought was out. He didn't want to lose the meager supply of crackers he'd been able to keep down that morning all over Jared's very expensive floor. Jensen completely forgot that standing up quickly was a very, very bad idea. His head swam, vision blurring around the edges, followed quickly by darkness rising up to meet him.

Jared's voice dragged him back to the present. Jensen pushed himself into a half sitting, half reclining position, not trusting a full vertical tilt at the moment. He finally realized that Jared was hovering over him, the forgotten bottle of water in his hand.

"Do you want some water?"

Jensen blinked at him for a few seconds before nodding his head. Jared unscrewed the top, holding onto the bottle until Jensen could bring both of his shaking hands up to hold it.

"You want to tell me why you just passed out?" Jared asked, pulling one of the chairs close to the side of the sofa.

"Not really," Jensen rasped, licking his lips as his anxiety over this particular conversation returned.

"Too bad. You drop by unexpectedly, tell me it's important and personal, then promptly pass out on my floor. I don't care if you want to. You're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong and why you're here."

"Okay," Jensen agreed softly.

Jared prepared himself for any number of revelations, but the words that crossed Jensen's lips had him sitting back in his chair, staring blankly at him as he continued to talk, but nothing else registering.

"I'm pregnant," Jensen confessed.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm pregnant."

Jared continued to gape at Jensen. It wasn’t that male pregnancy was unheard of, or that it was even that rare, but it was.... well, it was completely unexpected, is what it was. Once he finally got past the total shock of Jensen being one of the small minority of men that could get pregnant, he moved on to the HOLY SHIT Jensen is pregnant phase, or maybe it was he just moved back to it, whatever.

"You’re pregnant?" Jared asked. He knew this was getting redundant, but fuck, Jensen had just said he was going to have a baby.

"Yes."

"You’re having Jeff's baby," Jared said. It wasn't a question, more a declaration of fact.

"No."

It took a minute to register and then anger started to burn it's way through Jared's body.

"What do you mean no? Are you telling me you cheated on him?" Jared growled.

"In a manner of speaking. I do recall you being there as well," Jensen stated baldly.

"Excuse me?"

"It's yours Jared."

"How's it mine? We only slept together once! It has to be Jeff's. How could it not be his? You were having sex were you not?"

The blush started at Jensen's neck and worked its way up and into his cheeks. Jared's brain stalled for a second before kicking back on and his mouth took over again.

"Come on, you can't tell me you two weren't having sex."

"We hadn't had sex for a couple of weeks," Jensen confessed.

"Whose brilliant idea was that?"

"Mine. I thought it would make things a little more..." Jensen stalled looking for the right word.

"Special?" Jared supplied.

"I was trying not to go all girlie about it, but since you went there," Jensen complained.

"So, how has this not been an issue before? I mean, I know you dated, and then you and Jeff were together for a year before the no sex rule. Didn't you get tested when you were a kid?"

"I don't know. If my mom ever had it done she never told me. There were some papers in her safety deposit box when she died, but I never did look at them, maybe it was in there. I mean, none of the other guys in my family have gotten pregnant," Jensen shrugged helplessly. He so did not want to be having this discussion.

"I did practice safe sex until you," Jensen stated.

"You mean you and Jeff used a condom?" Jared asked, disbelief coloring his words.

"You know, you don't have to make us sound like freaks! It was a new relationship, we used condoms, neither one of us thought about it and then Jeff asked me to marry him, and we figured it had been this long we could wait a little longer for the honeymoon," Jensen huffed, exasperated.

Jared still couldn't imagine it, although Jensen had been the only person he'd never worn a condom with either, but then he didn't do relationships so it was a given that he would be practicing safe sex. Then the reality of the situation hit him. Jensen was pregnant with his child. He was going to be a father.

"What are you doing?" Jensen asked as Jared reached for the phone.

"I'm calling an ambulance," Jared informed him.

"The hell you are," Jensen snatched the cell out of his hand. "I just stood up too fast, plus I've been a little stressed."

"An even better reason to call them," he said, trying to get his phone back from Jensen.

"Seriously man, I'm fine. I just came to tell you. I thought you had the right to know. I'll take care of it."

"What do you mean you'll take care of it?" Jared asked, a feeling of dread sliding through his veins.

"You don't have to do anything. I'm not rich but my paintings are starting to get some notice, and I make a decent living. I can take care of the baby by myself, I just didn't want to be one of those people that had to lie to their kid when it got older." Jensen finished, cocking his head to the side, trying to figure out what was wrong with Jared.

"What did you think I meant?" Jensen asked, taking in Jared's pale complexion. When he didn't say anything, Jensen thought back to what he had said and froze.

"You thought I meant get rid of it?" he asked, horrified.

"I wasn't sure how you felt about it. It's not like we know that much about each other," Jared defended.

"Yes, but would I even be here if I was going to do that?" Jensen spat out, disgusted.

"No, I just.... Shit man, you've had time to get used to this. I haven't even had time to process it and you're talking about raising it on your own. And do we have to keep calling it, IT?" Jared almost yelled.

"Well, since I won't find out for a few months if it's a girl or a boy, there's not a lot of choices, but I'll start calling it 'the baby' if it makes you feel better. "

Jared glared at him again for calling his child it before nodding his head in acceptance.

"I want to be a part of the baby's life Jensen, and I don't mean the every other weekend, and on holidays kind of dad either."

Jensen just stared at him uncomprehending. This was not going at all the way he had planned. Jared was supposed to say okay, and try to throw money at him, which he was prepared to tell him to keep, and then he was supposed to wish him a good life, good riddance, shut the door and go back to movie making. Jared was most certainly not supposed to offer him, well he's not quite sure what Jared was offering, but whatever it was, he wasn't supposed to be doing it, damn it. Why couldn't things just go the way they were meant to?

"I'm sure we can come up with something that will work," Jensen said, taking a small sip of water.

Jared saw the perfect opportunity, and he wasn't about to let it pass him by.

"I think we should get married."

"What?" Jensen squeaked, looking at Jared as if he had three heads.

"I think we should get married," Jared repeated.

"That's what I thought you said. Jared, this isn't the fifties. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean we have to get married."

"What if I told you I wanted to get married?" Jared asked.

"I'd say you've had a big shock, and as soon as you've had a few days to think it over you'll be happy I told you it wasn't necessary."

Jared thought about it for a minute, leaning back in his chair and studying the man in front of him.

"Exactly how long do think it would take me to come to that conclusion?" Jared asked, wondering just how shocked Jensen thought he had to be to propose marriage. Well, not propose actually, because that was as far from a proposal as one could get except maybe the ones held with a shotgun aimed at you.

Jensen looked a little confused, but he took a minute before answering, his forehead crinkled like Jared had asked him the meaning behind Stonehenge.

"I don't know, a week? Long enough for you to really sit down and think about it. I mean, we're talking a whole new lifestyle. It won't be about what you want to do or what makes you happy anymore," Jensen said earnestly.

"So you think you're ready for that, but I'm not?"

"Well no, but I've had a few days to adjust. You haven't."

"I'm still convinced it's the best option, but I'll take a week, and then I'll call you," Jared said, pulling out his phone.

"Jared, I don't see my answer changing. I'm not really interested in getting married just because I'm pregnant," Jensen sighed, rattling off his phone number so Jared could put it in his phone.

Jared opened his mouth to ask Jensen if he'd want to get married if Jared told him he loved him, but thought better of it. Jensen really didn't look well, and he didn't want to put more stress on him when it wasn't necessary.

"I don't see me changing mine either, but I'll give it a week and then call you, okay?"

"Fine," Jensen said tiredly. "I've really got to get home. I have a show in a month, and I'm nowhere close to being ready."

"I'll see you out," Jared said, standing and waiting for Jensen to do the same. He bit back the need to tell Jensen he shouldn't work so hard, knowing it wouldn't be a wise move to make at the moment.

Jensen stopped suddenly in the walkway. "What are we going to tell your parents?"

"Let me worry about it. Right now, I'm not going to tell them anything. We'll figure it out next week," Jared said, placing his hand on Jensen's shoulder and squeezing.

"You really don't have to do this alone. I want to be a part of this Jensen, no matter what else, I need you to believe that."

Jensen stared at him a minute before dipping his head in silent acknowledgement.

Jared stood and watched until Jensen had gotten into his car and pulled away.

"So what the hell was all that about?" Chad asked from the doorway.

Jared jumped. He'd forgotten that Chad was still there.

"Family issues," Jared answered, turning back around to stare out the window.

"Okay, I'll leave it alone for now, but is he going to be all right?

Chad didn't understand what was going on, but this guy had caught Jared's attention, and he had no desire to see what would happen if someone else died in Jared's life.

"If I have any say about it, he will," Jared stated quietly. "Did you get all my appointments canceled?"

"Yeah, Mr. Childers wasn't all that happy about it, but I told him I'd work him in on Friday and suggested he get in a round of golf while the weather was nice."

"See, that's why I have you. I never would have thought about suggesting golf to take his mind off the reschedule. I'm going to leave early today so why don't you go ahead and get out of here. Once we start filming next month you'll never get a day off."

Chad grimaced at the reminder. He'd been bitching about the casting since Jared had shown him the roster. It was one thing to deal with holier than thou investors but when he had to deal with the likes of Tom Cruise and Jessica Alba, he'd informed Jared if they ever worked with the casting director again he was quitting.

"Do not even get me started!" Chad growled. "I'm telling you if Tom starts his bullshit this time, he's going to be meeting L. Ron Hubbard sooner than he expected."

"Oh come on, you know he just wants everyone to be as perfect as him." Jared teased.

"All I have to say is it sucks to be you man. Between him and the queen bitch, I wouldn't take your job even with your payday."

Jared snorted at just how true those words were.

Chad left an hour later, promising not to drunk dial him. When Jared finally settled down at his desk again, the sheer magnitude of the day’s events crashed down on him.

He was going to be a father, a title he never thought he wanted, or would even get the chance to have. From the moment he realized Jensen was carrying his baby, everything had started to shift and realign. He didn't care what anyone else thought, and he sure as hell wasn't going to change his mind. Now, he only needed a way to prove to Jensen that this was what he wanted.

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Jensen groaned as he flushed the toilet, leaning heavily against the sink. He rinsed his mouth out and contemplated the likelihood of being able to brush his teeth without a repeat performance of tossing his cookies, and he meant that quite literally. He was supposed to be downtown in an hour and he hadn't even gotten in the shower. The doctor said the morning sickness should start to ease soon, unless he was one of the unfortunate ones it assaulted all nine months.

Jensen would never have guessed that within three months he'd have lost a fiance and gained a baby, and while he still mourned Jeff's loss, he couldn't begrudge himself happiness having a baby When the doctor had dropped his little bombshell, he'd been in a state of shock, and then panic quickly set in. He'd been referred to an OB that had experience in male pregnancy as well as a high rate of success in positive births.

Dr. Agnit was six and half feet tall with bright red hair and goofy sense of humor, and if anyone needed the benefit of that humor it was Jensen. He had gone online, as soon as he'd gotten home and researched the actual logistics of a male pregnancy. By the day his appointment rolled around, he was armed with three pages of questions and a deep seated fear that he would do something wrong. Dr. Agnit answered every single question and then some. He talked to Jensen about what to expect through each stage, and how to deal with it.

Jensen didn't know if it was the doctor's relaxed manner, or having answers to his questions, but after half an hour some of the tension had eased from his neck and shoulders. The exam was so foreign that he didn't have anything to compare it to, except maybe being taken to the mother ship and probed, poked, and relieved of half his blood. However, nothing could prepare him for hearing the baby's heart beat for the first time. The magnified whoosh, whoosh sounding throughout the room sent Jensen on another roller coaster ride of emotions, the tears sneaking from under his lashes as he listened a testament to how deeply he already loved the tiny life growing inside him.

Then came the week of trying to decide what to do about Jared. In the end, he couldn't be the person that didn't give Jared the chance to make his own decision. Jensen wasn't worried about raising the baby. He made a decent living from his art. He wasn't wealthy, but he did well enough. He didn't want Jared to say something that would change his opinion of him, Jeff had always looked at his brother as if he were a super hero, and Jared seemed to do his best to set a good example when they had been growing up. Jensen wanted to be able to hang onto that picture that Jeff had created around his brother, if for no other reason than to the fact that Jeff had made it.

He'd gone to see Jared at his office, hoping he could keep it from being a huge deal, but that hadn't worked out the way he had planned at all. Jared started talking about marriage, and it had freaked the shit out of him. Jensen had seen enough articles to know that Jared liked to play the field, and on both sides of it at that, so when Jared said they should get married, his brain had frozen in complete shock. Jensen wasn't sure what to do with his suggestion. He didn't want to be married to someone just because he'd gotten pregnant, so he'd offered Jared time to realize that he could be a part of the baby's life without having to saddle himself with a husband.

Jensen shook himself out of his reverie, giving up on the idea of a shower altogether. Instead, he brushed his teeth, threw his clothes on, and grabbed his portfolio on the way out the door, locking up and heading for his car. He was just about to climb in when a voice stopped him in his tracks, cold fear running up his spine and stealing his breath.

"Jensen?"

"Jensen is, that you?"

Jensen slowly turned around praying he was wrong, but there stood the man his nightmares were made of, not three feet away.

"Joshua, there's a restraining order still in place," Jensen said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Oh, come on Jensen, you can't still be angry at me for that can you? I mean it's been over a year."

"Josh, a lifetime wouldn't be long enough," Jensen said.

"You know, Jenny, this is why I always had to punish you, you never could keep a civil tongue in your head."

"What do you want?" Jensen asked, trying to ignore the fear threatening to choke him.

"I don't want anything. I just saw you and thought I'd say hello."

"You've said it, now leave. I'll call the police if I have to," Jensen threatened.

Joshua reached out and grabbed his arm, fingers digging into muscle. Jensen could feel the bruises already starting.

"What good’s that going to do you? My parents will take care of it. They did last time, didn't they?"

"Yes, and part of that was staying out of the same state as me, yet here you are," Jensen gasped out as Joshua, tightened his grip even further.

"That's right, Jenny, here I am, and I promise you, you'll be seeing more of me."

Jensen was released so quickly he stumbled backwards, catching the doorframe to keep from falling. Joshua spun on his heel and disappeared around the corner as quickly as he appeared.

Jensen eased himself down into the seat, slamming the door and locking it. It took him fifteen minutes to stop the shaking in his hands, enough to get the key in the ignition. He called the gallery and told them he wouldn't be in until the afternoon and drove around for an hour before giving up and going to the coffee shop across the street from the art gallery. He needed to be around people, and if Sophia was working, he knew she would sit with him until he had calmed down.

Sophia hadn't been there but he'd taken the time to get a bagel and a cup of hot chocolate praying the baby would cut him a break. By the time he left the and headed to the gallery, he'd decided that when Jared called him, and he hadn't changed his mind, then he was going to accept Jared's proposal, such as it was. He had thought long and hard about his options and none of them spelled safety quite like a rich, powerful husband living in a gated community. Jensen couldn't give a shit about the money or the prestige. The only thing he was concerned with was keeping his baby safe and if marrying Jared could accomplish that then he was more than willing to do it. He just hoped Jared wouldn't want to know why he'd had such an abrupt change of heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared had spent the rest of the afternoon and into the early evening reading everything he could about pregnancy, more specifically male pregnancy. The longer he read the more terrified he became, not just for the baby but for Jensen as well. He'd never realized that giving birth was the closest a human being could come to dying without actually heading into the white light. The stress pregnancy and birth put on the bearers’ heart and organs were immense, not to mention the emotional upheaval all the hormones caused. Jared knew women did it every day, and according to the statistics men at least once a month, but still, this was Jensen and his baby not some number on a computer screen.

It occurred to him several hours into his research he hadn't even asked Jensen if he had a doctor. He was sure he did, Jensen didn't seem the sort to put something that important off, but he really wished he'd thought to ask who his doctor was. Jared had every intention of making sure both Jensen and the baby had the best care they could possibly have. He wanted to call and ask but he said he'd wait a week and that's what he was going to do, even if it drove him nuts. He didn't want Jensen to feel like he was being pressured.

By the time Jared had narrowed his search down to the best doctors in the area, he had two names and his head was starting to pound. Dr. Michaels and Dr. Agnit both had excellent records in male obstetrics. Dr. Michaels had only been practicing ten years whereas Dr. Agnit had been in practice for over eighteen. Other than that and the fact that Dr. Michaels was female, they both had the credentials Jared was looking for. He wanted to call and set up appointments with each one, needing to feel like he was accomplishing something, but the thought of Jensen's ire made him rethink the decision. Jared leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. Jensen was in control of this situation. It was his body, and they would see whoever made him comfortable as long as the doctor was competent.

Jared couldn't help the thrill of excitement that shot through his body every time he thought about being a father, and all the things that came with it. All the trips to the doctors, the birth and all the milestones that parents looked forward to, and if he were really lucky, then he'd be doing it with Jensen. He sighed deeply, finally admitting it was time to go home. Jared locked everything up, climbing into his car for the forty five minute commute, but it was worth it when he thought about how much he loved his house. When he bought it, he looked for a place where he could relax and not worry about unwanted visitors popping up and interrupting the few spare moments of down time he had. He never thought it would become a home for his family.

His house was large, but in every other aspect was different from what people expected when they thought of homes for well to do movie producers. It wasn't the modern showplace full of glass and sharp pointy things. Jared had gone from real estate agency to real estate agency, all of them trying to foist huge pieces of steel and angles off on him, until he'd finally hooked up with a young woman starting her own agency. Alona Tal had just gotten her license and invested everything her grandparents had left her to live a dream she'd had since she was little. Jared had told her exactly what he wanted. She listened to all the specific details and then asked questions to better understand why he wanted things a certain way.

Alona had called him once a week for a solid month, never offering to show him any properties until a month into her search when she called to set up a date. When they drove onto the street, Jared wasn't too sure about the likelihood of him liking the property, since most gated communities tended to be pretentious. Alona continued to drive them to the very back of the area. She turned down a long drive bordered by flowering trees and perfectly tended flower beds in every shade of color. The minute the house came into view, Jared knew this was what he'd been looking for. He knew without even seeing the inside it was what he'd been searching for.

The house was a complimenting stone and wood mix, everything done so that it blended naturally with its surroundings, even the enclosed pool had been built so that it looked like it belonged. There were six bedrooms, an office, a gym, and a solarium that was temperature controlled so that it could be used for anything. The floors were hardwood throughout the entire house, with the cabinets done in a lighter shade of mesquite than the floors. The kitchen was huge, not that he was all that proficient in the kitchen, but it was nice to have room to move if he decided to try, with the counters done in a complementing shade of marble. Jared had made an offer on the spot. Two weeks later, Alona had handed him the keys to his home, and he'd invited her out to dinner to celebrate her first sale and his first house. They'd been close friends ever since.

Jared pulled into the garage, plans already dancing in his head about which room to turn into a nursery. He knew that even if he got Jensen to accept his proposal that it didn't mean they'd be sharing the same bed, at least not right away. There were two bedrooms on the first floor with the kitchen, dinning room, living room, gym and solarium, the remaining four bedrooms were upstairs with the office. Jared figured if they put the nursery beside the master bedroom and Jensen on the other side, if he were ever able to win Jensen's affection, it'd be easy just to relocate him. He turned off the alarm and left his briefcase on the hall table, then he dropped onto the couch, letting his head fall back, and closed his eyes.

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Jensen had spent the following two days after the visit from Joshua locked in his studio, trying to finish up the three canvases he was working on for the opening. He refused to contemplate what he'd do if Jared decided his proposal was a mistake. He'd just have to cross that bridge when he came to it. If worse came to worse, he'd hire a bodyguard, or maybe change his name and move across the country. It wasn’t like he had any family to keep in contact with any more. Of course, he'd hate losing his friends, but his baby was more important.

Jensen shook the glum thoughts off and tried to go back to his painting, but unfortunately, his mood seemed to be bleeding over into his work. He loved doing landscapes, didn't matter if they were mountains, beaches, fields, deserts or lush meadows. He tried to capture the ever changing nuances in the way the light would fall across a flower or a sand dune and translate it into the picture. Lately everything kept coming up rainy and dreary with clouds hanging overhead, not that he never painted those scenes but that's not what he was aiming for in these three. He shook his head and concentrated on the blending of colors, still getting used to the differences in the paints that he'd switched to.

As soon as Jensen found out he was pregnant, he changed from his typical oil paints to water based oils and had actually started dabbling in watercolors, something he'd avoided in the past. Cleaning his brushes had taken a little more experimentation when he'd dropped the turpentine, but he'd found that Dawn cleaned most everything and when it didn't baby oil usually did the trick. He'd gotten so used to the changes, he wasn't sure he would go back once the baby was born, he sure had less headaches from fumes. Now if his stomach would just cooperate.

Finally admitting temporary defeat Jensen cleaned his brushes, grabbed his keys and quickly locked himself in his car. Sophia had left him another message, this time threatening to come to his house and beat down his door if he didn't tell her what was wrong. He had been dodging the inevitable pregnancy confession, not wanting to tell anyone else until he'd made the decision about telling Jared and then, of course, it hadn't seemed right not to tell Jared first, so he'd waited.

Twenty minutes later, armed with a large hot chocolate, without the whipped cream because the baby apparently didn't like it. At least that's what Jensen had decided the one and only time, he'd had it that way and promptly deposited it in the shop’s toilets. He had also decided to try a cinnamon bun and prayed the little twit that was causing so many dietary restrictions would approve of the choice since he was about to starve to death, and they smelled so good.

It took another ten minutes for Sophia to get the afternoon rush cleared away so she could talk.

"So why have you been avoiding me?" she asked, flopping down in the seat across from him.

"I'm not avoiding you," Jensen mumbled around his cinnamon bun.

Sophia arched her brow and stared at him.

"I'm not! I came by here the other day, and you weren't here," Jensen declared.

"Oh, that must have been the day I was being told by the bank that I couldn't possibly know how to run a business," Sophia snarled.

"I'm sure that's not what they said."

"Not in so many words, no," Sophia replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, what did they say exactly?"

"That the expected growth in the area wouldn't be enough to support a new loan I'd require to buy the establishment and make the requested upgrades, blah, blah, blah."

"So you try another bank," Jensen suggested, sipping his drink.

"I may, but how about we get to the real question at hand."

"I thought we were talking about it," Jensen stalled.

"Jensen, it can't be that bad. I swear, I'll help you no matter what." Sophia reached across the table, grabbing hold of his free hand.

She knew there were things that Jensen kept to himself, things that she could only guess at. She had a pretty good idea what some of it was. There was a girl in her class at college that had been in an abusive relationship, and Jensen showed all the signs of being a survivor. Sophia wished he felt like he could tell her, but she understood the fear, and she wouldn't push him, she'd wait and be there when he was ready.

Sophia had met Jensen six months ago when he first started coming into the shop, sucking down coffee like he was a crack addict looking for his daily fix. That's why when Jensen had switched to hot chocolate a few weeks ago it had been her first sign of a problem. The second had been the constant trips to the bathroom to throw up. She had even gone so far as to research eating disorders, but Jensen hadn't been eating so that didn't pan out.

She thought maybe it was stress and depression from Jeff’s death, losing a loved one is hard, losing a fiancé on the eve of a wedding would turn anyone into a basket case She'd met Jeff, of course, even hung out with them on occasion, and she knew just how badly Jensen had taken it. For some reason, however, the way Jensen acted it didn't seem like he was sad. Now, though he was sitting in front of her looking like he was preparing to step in front of a firing squad.

"Um, I'm not really sure how to say this," Jensen said quietly.

"Honey, just say it. It's easier that way."

Jensen took a deep breath, and blew it out. "I'm pregnant," he blurted.

Sophia just looked at him. She was pretty sure Jensen had just said he was pregnant but her brain had chosen that exact moment to short circuit, how embarrassing.

" Soph! Are you okay?" Jensen asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

Sophia blinked and focused on the man in front of her. There had been something different about him that she hadn't been able to put her finger on in the past few weeks and now she had it. Yes, he was pale, and his freckles were even more apparent than before, but there was a peaceful quality that had settled around him. Most people called it the pregnancy glow, and maybe when he could actually keep something down he'd have it, but right now it was just this calm that seemed to wrap around him, even though he looked ready to jump out of his skin.

"Could you say that again?" Sophia requested.

"You know you heard me. I'm pregnant," Jensen said with a put upon sigh.

"Oh yeah, I heard you all right. I just had to verify my facts."

"What facts are those?" Jensen asked, eyeing Sophia's look of unholy glee warily.

"That not only are you pretty, but you're pregnant," she crowed.

"Why are we friends again?" Jensen scowled.

"Cause you love me." Sophia sing songed.

"No, I think it was the coffee, but since I can't drink that anymore I bet I can find hot chocolate someplace else," Jensen said, making to stand up.

"Oh, don't be that way baby. You know if it were me you'd do the same thing," she said, giggling.

"Shut up," Jensen grumbled, trying to hold back a grin.

"So when are you due? How far along are you? Do you know what it is yet? Wait a minute! Whose is it?"

Sophia's rapid fire questions were not entirely unexpected, but the last one made him flinch just a little. He really wished he could say it was Jeff's, he would do anything to be able to hold onto just one little piece of the man he loved. However, everyone deserved the truth no matter how it made him look.

"It's Jared's," Jensen answered quietly.

"Jared? Jared who?" Sophia asked puzzled.

"Jeff's brother," Jensen winced at Sophia's confused look.

"Okay, I'm lost. Explanation please."

"The day of the funeral, I was outside. I needed a break from..... Well, from everything. Jared did too apparently, except he'd been drinking. I mean it was his brother, and they were really close, Sophia," Jensen rushed to explain at her frown of disapproval.

"Anyway, he was going to leave, not get on the main road or anything just go up to their cabin using the back roads. I didn't want him to wrap his truck around a tree and his parents lose both of them so I drove him up there. I fell in the snow, had to wait for my clothes to dry. Then, I might have gotten a little loaded and one thing led to another. I swear neither one of us planned it, it just happened. I don't even know why, just that I needed something, and he was there. I guess he needed the same thing." Jensen finished, refusing to look up and see the disgust in Sophia's face.

"Jensen, I understand, and I'm certainly not going to judge you. You both needed someone, and if you were there for each other, that's all that matters," Sophia reassured.

She'd known Jensen long enough to know he'd never do anything to hurt anybody or take advantage of them, but Jared, she had no such knowledge of. Right now all that mattered was being there for Jensen but you better bet your sweet ass she was going to find out about Jeff's brother.

"Thanks," Jensen said, relief bleeding through.

"So, you didn't know you could get pregnant?"

"No. I mean as far as I know I've never been tested. Stupid I know, especially since I'm gay, but hell, I don't know, it just never crossed my mind."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Already taken care of, that's why I've been avoiding you. I had to decide if I was going to, and then I wanted to let him know before I told anyone else."

"How did that go?"

"Weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah, weird. I figured, I'd tell him, he'd try to throw money at me, I'd tell him no thanks and that'd be the end of it."

"Didn't go that way?"

"This is me, we're talking about, of course not," Jensen complained.

"So, what did he say?"

"He asked me to marry him."

"He did what?"

"Sophia, am I stuttering or do you need a hearing aid?"

"I don't know, maybe both. Did you say he asked you to marry him?"

"Yes," Jensen sighed.

"What did you say?"

"I told him no, but he didn't seem to want to accept that answer," Jensen said.

"Why not?"

"I'm not really sure. He said he didn't want to be the every other weekend kind of dad. I told him he was just in shock and he hadn't had time to think about his decision, and that we could work something out so he'd have plenty of time with the baby. He wanted to know how long I thought it'd be before the shock wore off."

"How long did you tell him? Better yet why was he asking you how long you thought it would take him?"

"I told him to take a week and think about it, but I wasn't going to change my mind, " Jensen trailed off.

"Why do I sense something has changed on your end?"

Jensen hated lying to his friend, but he didn't want her involved in anything that could get her hurt, and Joshua could definitely get her hurt.

"I just keep thinking that it's not very fair of me to expect Jared to settle for part time father status, which would be what he would have if we did it my way," he shrugged.

"Well, yeah maybe, but it doesn't mean you have to get married."

"Maybe he has some weird thing about living together?" Jensen reasoned, hoping she'd buy it.

"You and Jeff pretty much lived together didn't you? He didn't seem to have a problem with it then did he?" Sophia asked.

"Well no, but Jeff was a big boy and Jared certainly wasn't going to disown his brother just because they didn't agree on something. I'm not even saying that's what it is. I'm not sure really what the deal is, but I mean I have to look at all my options, right?"

"I guess it does make sense when you put it that way, but don't just jump into it okay. Really think about it."

Jensen nodded his head, he couldn't really tell her that's all he'd been doing for the last two days.

"So, how far along are you?"

"Almost five weeks, which means I'm due at the end of September. September 27th to be exact."

"You've been to the doctor right? When do you get to find out what it is?"

"Yes, and not until I'm four or five months, depends on the progression and how the baby's turned. Oh, and don't call the baby 'it'."

"Why not? You don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet," Sophia reasoned.

"Yeah, but for some reason, it drives Jared nuts."

"Oh really," Sophia grinned wolfishly.

"Do not even start," Jensen warned.

"Start what?" she asked innocently.

"Finding ways to antagonize. I know it's how you get your kicks, but for the sake of my blood pressure, give me a break okay."

"Fine. Jeez, ruin all my fun," Sophia complained

The doorbell jingled, signaling the end of her break. Jensen cleared away his trash, kissed her on the forehead and headed for the door. He wanted to swing by the gallery and check on the supplies he'd ordered before heading home, and he had to go shopping for something to wear to a ribbon cutting ceremony.

Jensen had met Chris and Steve during one of the worst times of his life, and he'd never forget all the help and support they had offered him. A new suit and a couple hours of schmoozing was just one of the many things Jensen planned to do to show his appreciation. He was well aware that neither of the men he now called friends expected anything in return, but Jensen would always feel he could never do enough to repay what they had done for him.

Chris and Steve worked out of a small shelter when Jensen first met them, but they both had big dreams of helping people beyond what they were doing at the time. Jeff had introduced them, having met the guys several times at the hospital, and had helped them get backing from several doctors and different medical companies to start the kind of shelter they thought every city needed. They wanted it to be a place anyone could come to, whether you were male, female or anywhere in between, rich or poor, young or old.

The shelter didn't ask for payment but if anyone wanted to offer their time or when a client was back on their feet and wanted to make a donation it was gladly accepted. It had taken two years to get the right place and all the permits they needed, not to mention the counselors and all the help to run such a large undertaking. Jensen was in awe of what they had accomplished every time he thought about it. He was almost giddy that he was a part of it, having volunteered to teach an art class three times a week. Steve had thought it would be a great self-esteem builder, not to mention the possibility of finding some actual talent hidden away in some of their clients.

The shelter had a fifty bed capacity in each wing and there were four wings. East was male, west was female, south was families, and north was for those that couldn't take being in close proximity to people after having endured some horrific trauma. Jensen had met several members of the staff already, having helped Chris and Steve set things up and move them around on endless weekends. Ellen was one of the most memorable ones, she would be running the kitchen, and something told Jensen he had better not fuck with her either. When he said something to that effect, Steve had busted out laughing and Chris had told him to shut up. Jensen still had no idea what that was about, but he'd never seen Chris scared of anyone before. It was pretty damn funny.

He finally made it home three hours later, a bag of paints and brushes in one hand, mail under his arm, suit bag draped over the other, and keys dangling off the ends of his fingers. There was a package sitting in front of his door with a bright yellow ribbon around it. Jensen didn't even need to read the card to know who it was from. Joshua always had his gifts wrapped with a yellow ribbon. He nudged the package to the side with his foot, giving himself enough space to get inside his door and slammed it shut, heart hammering against his chest, breath coming in short, hard bursts. Jensen slumped onto one of his kitchen chairs trying to slow his racing pulse.

It was just a package. Joshua couldn't afford to be outright threatening at the moment, not with the restraining order and his probation resting on his following the conditions set out in his plea bargain. Jensen took several more deep, steadying breaths and set everything down on the kitchen table. He crossed to the door, opening it and kicked the box inside, slamming the door again, locking all three locks, and setting the code on the alarm for good measure. He grabbed a knife off the kitchen block, picked up the box and set it on the counter, studying it like he could see inside without ever opening it. Jensen finally heaved a sigh and sliced the ribbon and the paper all in one go and opened the box, a sob catching in his throat.

Inside was a small white teddy bear decked out in a ski suit complete with skis and sun glasses. The note attached read 'Better Luck Next Time'. Joshua hadn't lost his touch that was for sure. Jensen felt like someone had cut his heart out of his chest, and then ground salt in the wound. It took him several minutes to breathe again, he placed the teddy bear back in the box, gathered up every last scrap of paper, tape and ribbon and went into the back yard. Grabbing the lighter fluid, he yanked the lid off of his grill, threw everything on top of it and set it on fire. When there was nothing left but ash, Jensen went inside, triple checked all the locks and windows, set the alarms, took a shower and crawled under the covers.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly one week to the day and almost to the hour, Jared picked up his phone and dialed the number he'd committed to memory minutes after Jensen had walked out of his office. He had alternated between barely restrained giddiness, a word he never thought he's associate with himself, and bouts of anxiety over what he would do if Jensen refused his proposal. He'd waited as long as he could, risking bodily harm from Chad, who over the last several days had grown even more frustrated with not only his mood swings but his secrecy as well.

It wasn't that Jared wanted to keep Jensen a secret, in actuality he wanted to yell it from the rooftops, again very uncharacteristic of him, but he had this deep paranoid belief that if he told anyone, he'd loose the very slim chance he had of getting Jensen to agree to marry him. So he had kept his mouth shut and suffered through the nights of sleepless wonder at all the things he would be able to teach their child and the fear of not knowing anything about kids, in silence, the doubts sending him on even more forays into the world of internet parenting and book buying until he thought he had every possible book on the subject known to man.

Jared held his breath as the phone started to ring, his pulse speeding up with each subsequent second. His stomach starting to tie itself in knots the longer the ringing went unanswered and he thought he'd have to leave a message.

"Hello," Jensen answered breathlessly.

"Jensen, are you okay?" Jared asked, already reaching for his other phone.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine I just had to run to get the phone. I forgot I left it in the kitchen, and I was my workshop."

"Okay," Jared said, relaxing. "How have you been feeling?"

"A little better, the nausea seems to be letting up a little, though the smell of coffee still makes me want to cry and smoke makes me hurl. It's down to just mornings now, not all day long, so that's good." Jensen answered, finally clamping his mouth shut to stem the flow of words that seemed to be unwilling to stop.

"Well, I'm glad. So have you had time to think about what we discussed?" Jared asked, not really sure how to bring it up, other than to just jump right in.

"Um, yeah. Have you?" Jensen asked tentatively.

"Yes, and I really don't want to have this talk over the phone. Can we maybe have dinner or something?" Jared enquired.

"Sure, but do you really want to have this discussion in public?" Jensen asked, not looking forward to having it in private either if Jared had changed his mind.

"I know a place we can go and it still be private," Jared insisted.

"That's fine, where's it at?"

Jared gave him the address, praying he'd made the right choice.

"How about seven thirty? That will give me time to finish, get cleaned up and still get there in time." Jensen explained.

"That's fine, I'll see you at seven thirty," Jared agreed, breathing a sigh of relief that Jensen seemed to approve.

Jared called the restaurant as soon as he hung up. He knew he wouldn't have a problem getting in because he was, after all, part owner, albeit the silent kind. He'd met Jeffrey during a party put on for one of the movies that he'd been producing years ago. Jared had been a little bit more interested in dodging the blond bimbo that had been trying to attach herself to his side all evening and had ducked into the back, hoping to find a way to the other side of the room. When he turned around, he was staring into hazel eyes dancing with mirth. The guy was in his mid thirties, leaning back against one of the many serving tables, arms crossed over his chest.

They wound up talking for several hours, Jared about the harrowing experiences of diva actors and Jeffrey about the unrealistic expectations of celebrities and their food consumption versus taste. When all was said in done, Jared had decided he was going to help back Jeffrey's dream restaurant, a concept that had never been tried before.

It was called the restaurant of the world, having seven separate floors, one for each continent, North America, South America, Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa, and Australia. Each floor had separate rooms decorated as authentically as possible to make guests feel as if they were in one of the cities on those continents. The wait staff and hostess were uniformed as if they were native to the region as well. All dishes were researched meticulously, and each and everyone had a list of ingredients available upon request for allergy sufferers.

Jared had absolutely no compunction about sinking as much money as he had into the endeavor. He knew it would be a success but he hadn't foreseen just how big. When Morgan's opened, it had a waiting list of six months.

There were always five tables set aside on each floor for special guests to be utilized when they were in town, and Jared was considered one such guest. When he called, Sandy's chirpy voice answered the phone. Jared found himself smiling just listening to her run through her welcoming spiel, waiting for her to finally run down so he could get a word in. He had actually found her at a casting call for a small part, and after listening to her talk about all the things she wanted to do, gave her Jeff's number and told her to call him. Now, two years later, Sandy was the manager for Morgan's and happier than she'd ever been acting.

"Hey Sandy."

"Oh, hey Jared. Why'd you let me keep going?"

"You know I love to hear you talk."

"Sure you do. That's why you get that glazed over look five minutes after I sit down," Sandy teased.

"That's because you're just so pretty and too much exposure is like the sun. If you look directly at it, you go blind."

"Oh please, you are so full of it. So what can I do for you? Do you need a table, or you want to talk to Jeff?"

"I need a table for tonight at seven thirty. Can you give me the one up on the terrace, away from everybody?" Jared asked.

"Oh, it's one of those nights is it?"

"Yeah, but if everything goes like it should, there won't be anymore of those nights." Jared confessed, needing to tell somebody something before his head blew off.

"Really? Then I can't wait to meet this mystery person," Sandy said.

"Yea, just don't say anything to anybody okay? It's just really important," Jared pleaded.

"You know I won't."

"I know," Jared sighed.

"Do you know which floor you're going to want to order from?"

"Honestly, not a clue. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, I was just going to save you some time. I'll see you when you get here Jared, and don't worry, everything's going to be okay," Sandy reassured.

"God I hope so," Jared said, telling her goodbye.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seven thirty came and went and the sick feeling was back in the pit of his stomach. When seven forty rolled around, he was about to ready to call Jensen when he saw Sandy through the glass doors headed his way. Her eyebrow was arched in what appeared to be total surprise but complete approval. Following close behind her was Jensen who seemed to be totally flustered. Jared stood and met them at the door, opening it and ushering them through. Sandy placed the wine list on the table, leaving them to decide and promising to be back in a few minutes.

"God, I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrendous, I left my phone at home, so I couldn't call, and then I got here, and I thought was in the wrong place, but this was the address you gave me. I couldn't find a parking space when I finally decided to see if you had a reservation and if not try to use the phone." Jensen looked up, "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"Doing what?" Jared asked, grinning.

"Rambling."

"Maybe a little, but I'll tell you a secret. I'm a lot nervous too." Jared grinned at Jensen's look of total disbelief.

"Now, first tell me what you want to drink, and then decide what kind of food you want so we can at least get the right menu when Sandy gets back," Jared requested, figuring that would get Jensen moving.

"Oh, um, just water with some lemon is fine. What do you mean the right menu?"

"You've never heard of this place?"

"No. I don't come into the city often unless it's to the galleries, and I don't usually eat in this section of town."

"Well then let me educate you on Morgan's. It has seven different restaurants, each specializing in a different continent. Decide which one suits your fancy tonight so we can get the right menu and then we have the monumental task of choosing something to eat," Jared explained, smiling at Jensen's groan.

Jensen finally settled on Europe, since he'd been there and hoped he knew what his stomach could and couldn't handle. Jared decided he'd do the same, and they were ready when Sandy came back. It took them fifteen minutes to decide what they were going to eat, with Jared finally letting Jensen order for him after listening to him ooh and ah over the choices. Jensen's eyes lit up and a smile stretched across his face, making Jared's heart speed up and his stomach do a series of jumps and spins.

They made small talk about their week, discovered they both liked sports, and although they liked opposing basketball teams, they both like the same football team. Jensen liked lacrosse which made Jared break out laughing and Jensen returned the favor when Jared confessed to liking water polo. Sandy brought their food, and neither spoke, making the occasional sighs of pleasure and moans of delight over the rich sauce covered foods and decadent deserts.

Jensen leaned back in his chair and groaned. He really wanted to pop the top button on his slacks but there was no way he was going to in a place like this and certainly not in present company. Things had gone surprisingly well, but then again, they hadn't talked about what they'd come here to talk about.

"I've been wondering something," Jared started.

"Yeah?"

"Have you decided on a doctor yet?" Jared asked.

"Oh!" Jensen never thought that would be Jared's first question.

"Well, yeah. When I went to my regular doctor, and he told me I was pregnant, he referred me to one."

"Do you mind me asking who it is?"

"No, if you don't mind me asking why?"

"I just want to make sure you and the baby are getting the best care. I know it's your choice, and I want you to be comfortable, but I want you to have that option."

Jensen was touched by not only the thought Jared had put into his and the baby's welfare, but that he wasn't pushing anything onto him either.

"Well, my doctor is Dr. Agnit and from what I understand, he's the best and I really like him," Jensen assured.

Jared sat back, shoulders relaxing. It was one less thing he had to worry about. Now, he had to address the even bigger issue at hand.

"Have you thought anymore about my proposal?"

"Yes," Jensen swallowed. "Did you think about what it would mean to your lifestyle?"

"Yes, but just so we're clear, how about we verbalize exactly what we expect from this relationship, so there are no misunderstandings," Jared suggested. He was used to having things spelled out to the ninth degree and he thought having it voiced would probably not only help him process the information but Jensen as well.

"Okay, if you decide you still would like to marry me, I would like to accept the proposal, provided we can come to an agreement on what we both expect." Jensen said.

"Fair enough," Jared sat back and waited.

Jensen took a breath. He'd hoped Jared would start, but he should have known he'd have to go first.

"I'm not going to stop working, or volunteering, I have friends that I'll continue to see and I will take our vows seriously, even though I won't be expecting any of the marital extras," Jensen stuttered at Jared's raised eyebrow. "I know you've been fairly active in the um.... dating scene and as long as you keep them discreet, and not flaunt them in public, I won't have a problem with it."

"Really," Jared asked, intrigued.

"I can't exactly ask you to give up sex just because ours won't be the traditional marriage," Jensen explained.

"Okay, fair enough. I want our marriage to be a traditional marriage." Jared held up his hand to halt Jensen's refusal. "However, I'm willing to wait until you're ready for the same thing. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do because I know you loved Jeff, and I know you're not ready for anything else right now. So until then, this is what I would like in our relationship, I'd like to go to your doctor's appointments, share anything that's important to you, and I'd like you to do the same for me."

"Jared, I can't promise you that I'd ever want the same thing you do," Jensen asked, confused as to why Jared even did.

"I know that, but I'd like you to give us the chance. I'd also like it if you'd move in with me, I live in a gated community which helps cut down on uninvited visitors, and in my business unfortunately it's needed. I mean, if you want to keep your place for your painting or whatever, that wouldn't be a problem." Jared finished, trying to remember if there was anything else he'd forgotten.

"No, that's fine. Um, do you live right on the beach?" Jensen already knew it was gated, but he didn't know how far back Jared lived.

"I have an access, but it's a good little walk. I'm sorry it's not like Jeff's place."

"Oh, thank God," Jensen sighed.

"I thought you loved Jeff's place?"

"I loved the beach house, I hated the sand. It gets everywhere. I couldn't get it out of my brushes or my paints, drove me nuts," Jensen moaned.

"Oh, well that would be a bitch. If you decide you want to go down though, remind me to give you the code. It's gated as well. Doesn't do much good to have the front blocked off and the back wide open," Jared reasoned.

"Was there anything else that you think we should discuss?" Jensen asked stifling a yawn, the day starting to catch up with him.

"Not that I can think of. How about you? Anything you want to add?"

"No, I think we've covered everything that was important. If you still want to go forward with the marriage, then I would like to accept," Jensen said quietly.

"I think you know I still want to marry you Jensen."

"Okay, so what do we do now that, that's decided?"

"We don't do anything. You go home and get some rest. I'll get the ball rolling tomorrow and give you a call, all right?"

"I can help."

"I know you can, but you've already been pulling extra duty. Let me pull some for a little while."

Jensen sighed, nodding his head. He stood up, stretching his back muscles. They seemed to get knotted up faster nowadays, which made no sense at all, since he hadn't put on all that much weight. Jared walked him to his car and watched him pull out into traffic before making his way back inside to see Jeffrey. He finally found him calming the chef in the Asian restaurant, since someone had borrowed his favorite salt shaker and the world had come to an end.

Once everything was back in order, they made their way to Jeffrey's office. He grabbed two beers from the small fridge, handing one to Jared before he sat down.

"So I hear you had company on the terrace tonight."

"Yeah, who told you that?"

"Sandy said you wanted a table."

"She say anything else?"

"Nope, but I'm not blind Jared. I do take peeks at who you bring around."

"You do, do you?"

"Yep, and until tonight, none of them have been worth the time or the effort to get an introduction," Jeffrey informed him.

"Oh, and what was so special about tonight?" Jared asked.

"Other than the person you were with was male?" Jeffrey asked.

"Is that a problem?" Jared queried, eyebrow arched.

"You know it's not, you ass."

"Then what was so different?"

"The way you looked at him. You never stared off into space. You didn't pay the waitress the least bit of attention other than polite thank yous, and you weren't people watching which you have a tendency to do when your bimbos bore you. All the times you've come here with your dates, I've never seen you truly relax, and I saw that tonight. So how about you tell me who he is?"

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Start with the short and if I need the long I'll ask for it." Jeffrey said, taking a swig of his beer.

"He was my brother's fiancé, but he will be my husband in less than 72 hours, and in seven and a half months give or take a week he'll be giving birth to my child."

Jeffrey sat staring at Jared, gauging the validity of what had just come spilling out of his mouth. When Jared continued to look at him, his gaze never wavering, Jeffrey took another long swallow of beer.

"Okay, I need the long version now."

Jared went on to explain about the day of the funeral, Jensen getting pregnant and Jared proposing marriage.

"So he made you wait a week, just to make sure you knew what you were doing?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, pretty and smart. Looks like you've finally met your match," Jeffrey said.

"Which is why I'm not letting him get away. Now I just have to figure out how to tell my parents."

"Oh man. Jared, how the hell are you going to do that?"

"I don't know. I'm just praying the idea of a grandbaby softens the blow."


	4. Chapter 4

Jared called his parents the morning after his dinner with Jensen. He hesitated to call it a date even though that's what he really wanted it to have been, but with so many things having to be decided and agreed upon, negotiations was probably a better choice of word.

His parents were understandably confused. It wasn't often he called in the middle of the week, much less requested they have a private dinner at home, and on that very same night. Usually, dinners and get togethers had to be planned days and sometimes weeks in advance just to work around his production, filming and office schedules. He'd had to reassure them several times that he was fine and that nothing was wrong even though he was positive they still didn't believe him, if his mother's calling back an hour later to verify the time was anything to go by.

Jared barely had time to take a seat behind his desk before Chad was parking himself stubbornly across from him.

"Okay spill. I've been patient and you know that's not my forte. It's been a week since your brother's fiancee came to see you, and you've acted even jumpier than you were before he stopped by. I mean, I can't float you a loan if you decided to crawl into bed with the mafia or maybe do a little too much gambling and go to Vinnie the loan shark, but I could help you fake your death or something." Chad trailed off at Jared's attempt to stifle a snorted laugh.

"I didn't crawl into bed with the mafia Chad, and I don't know anyone named Vinnie. I swear, one of these days you're actually going to stumble across a real live conspiracy and then your ass is going to be toast. You'd never make it in witness protection because your first phone call would be to your mom and the second would be to your hair stylist. What's his name again?" Jared asked, teasing Chad.

"His name is Trevor, and he is not just a hair stylist he is a god and, no, that does not make me gay, that makes me smart. I'm secure enough in my manhood to not only appreciate but uphold talent and greatness in all forms, thank you very much!"

"Whatever you say Chad," Jared agreed, laughing at Chad's indignant look.

"You know that's not going to work. I'm not leaving this office until you tell me what the hell is going on."

"Yeah. I know," Jared sighed.

He figured he might as well practice this particular conversation, since he was going to be having the same one that evening with his parents. Turns out not the exact one, thank God, because that would just be too embarrassing.

"Funny thing you should mention getting into bed with someone though," Jared paused to see if Chad would catch the hint.

Chad sat looking at him for a minute, just blinking. Jared could see when the play on words caught his attention, and it sparked in his head.

"Oh my God you didn't! Jared what the hell were you thinking?" Chad croaked.

"Obviously, I wasn't." Jared answered calmly.

"So what? He's threatening to leak it to the papers? Your parents? How much does he want? I'll kill the little shit!" Chad fumed.

"Chad he's bigger than you," Jared pointed out, both amused and touched by Chad's protectiveness.

"Won't be when I take out his knees," Chad mumbled. "All right, so we need to prepare a statement..."

"Chad, wait a minute," Jared interrupted.

"We don't have a minute. You've been sitting on this a week when I should have been doing damage control. There's no telling what else he's got lined up," Chad sputtered.

"Chad, it's not like that. I need to tell you something else and then I need you to listen to me okay?" Jared leaned forward, looking Chad in the eye.

"Oh God, there's more. How could it be worse? It's worse isn't it? Jesus he taped it didn't he? Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Might remember it better if he did," Jared grumbled under his breath.

"What? He drugged you?" Chad's voice had reached an all time high and Jared was pretty sure he was close to hyperventilating. It would have been pretty funny if he didn't think Chad was about to go looking for weapons.

"Chad, sit the fuck down and listen to me for two seconds," Jared demanded.

"Jensen isn't trying to blackmail me, nor did he tape us or drug me. I got drunk after Jeff's funeral and was going to drive up to the cabin. He was kind enough to drive me up there so my parents wouldn't be planning another funeral."

"Okay, so I'm confused. Where did the sex come in? What's with all the secrets and what's with the passing out the other day?" Chad asked, perplexed.

"I took some of the good stuff with me, and I got a little more wasted and Jensen decided to imbibe a little as well. One thing kind of led to another and well anyway, Jensen came by the other day to let me know something important and I had some decisions to make. Until I made them, it didn't seem like a good idea to talk about it," Jared explained.

"Does it have to do with Jeff or is it dealing with why he passed out? Is he sick? I mean, he's not terminal or something is he?" Chad asked, starting to feel like shit for over reacting.

"No, but it crossed my mind when he did the swan dive too and don't you ever repeat that last part, he'd kick my ass."

"Okay, so what is it then? It's had you in a twist, and not many things can do that.

"He's pregnant Chad. Jensen's pregnant, and it's mine."

Chad just stared at him like he'd said he was going to film the next Paris Hilton sex video for prime time TV.

"Excuse me, I thought I heard you say Jensen was pregnant."

"That's because you did."

"Okay, and you're sure it's yours how?"

"Chad, lets just say it's one of those things I know and leave it at that," Jared said.

"Shit," Chad exclaimed sagging back into the chair. "Blackmail would have been easier," he bemoaned.

"Why's that?" Jared asked, quirking an eyebrow in question.

"Eighteen years of child support, dealing with another parent, and then the wonders of step-parents that you don't like nor want raising your kid. I mean, hell, the list is endless."

Jared hummed thoughtfully.

"Come on, you can't tell me you haven't thought about this. I mean, you look at crap from every angle before you take on a project and that's your job. There's no way you haven't done it with your kid."

"No, not really," Jared confessed.

"Well, why the hell not!"

"I was too busy trying to figure out how to get Jensen to marry me," Jared stated.

Chad's response was delayed as he'd been sipping his coffee when Jared delivered that piece of information. When he was able to breathe again around the painful constriction in his throat, brought on by what he swore was Jared's attempt at trying to kill him.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"No."

"No, you won't tell me, or no, you're not joking?"

"No, I'm not joking?"

"You do realize you don't have to marry someone just because they're pregnant. It's not the fifties anymore."

"You know, Jensen said the exact same thing," Jared said brightly.

"Well, hell, at least one of you has some sense. I may like him after all," Chad mumbled. "So what's the plan now that he turned you down?"

"I didn't say he turned me down."

"You just said..."

"No, I said Jensen made the same remark, I never said he turned me down. He actually told me he saw no reason to, and that he thought I hadn't had enough time to think things through, at which point a week was decided and I told him I'd be calling him."

"The week’s up, right? So, what happened?" Chad asked, massaging his temples. He was getting a hell of a headache. "I mean you're not all mopey and shit, so he must have accepted right?"

"We went to dinner last night, talked about a lot of things including what we expected, but in the end, yeah, he accepted, which kind of surprised me."

"Why?"

"I was positive he was going to say no and come up with some alternate plan for me to spend more time with the baby."

Chad shook his head, still trying to wrap his brain around Jared having a kid, and with his dead brother's fiancé, no less. "Do you think it's the money?"

"No. I mean, when he came here last week, Jensen was ready to go it alone. He was just doing the right thing, said he didn't think this was something that he should keep from me. I mean, really, he could've never told me, and as far as he would've known, I'd have never found out. It would’ve been a hell of a lot easier on him, I'm sure. I know there's a reason he changed his mind. It wasn't the money, and I'll find out eventually, but right now this gives me time to work with."

"What do you mean as far as he'd have known and time to work with for what?" Chad asked, completely confused.

"I'd been trying to figure out how to see Jensen again for a month, Chad. That's why I've been all over the place. I wish like hell I could say it was all just because of Jeff, and it makes me feel like shit that it's not, but I'm not going to lie to myself about it. I need time for him to get to know me and the only way for that to happen is for him to spend it with me."

"Shouldn't you already know each other? I mean, he was engaged to your brother."

"Hell, we grew up together too, but that doesn't mean anything. I know he hates to eat green things, loves animals except snakes, lived for art class and went away to Paris to study in college. After that, pretty much nothing. I mean, I know everything and nothing about him."

"That's an oxymoron."

"I'm aware, thank you Chad." Jared continued, "I mean, it's just I hung out with my friends and Jeff had Jensen. They were in their own little world."

"Didn't that make you feel bad?"

"Not really. It actually kept me from feeling guilty. Me and Jeff hung out a lot when we were younger but then Jensen came, and I was able to go out and do things that mom and dad never would have let Jeff do because of his age, and he never threw a fit because it just didn't matter. It let me off the hook. I mean, sometimes they would have their inside jokes, or they'd finish each other sentences and that'd sting but they never did it to be mean. It just was what it was. I guess you have to pay a price to get what you want and that was mine."

Chad sighed. "So what do you need from me?"

"I need you to find out about a marriage license, and where they do it now. If it's at the court house, or if I can get someone to come out to my parents house, and how soon I can get an appointment."

"How quick are we talking about?" Chad asked.

"Friday."

"Jesus Christ, Jared that's two days! Have you even told your parents yet?"

Jared flinched. "No, I'm doing that tonight. Oh, and that reminds me, I need you to cancel everything the rest of week and only leave the emergencies on the books."

Chad just gaped at him like he'd grown a third eye.

"I can't marry him, move him into the house and abandon him," Jared reasoned.

"How the hell am I supposed to manage canceling all your appointments without getting my head ripped off?" Chad asked, exasperated.

"Chad, you know you're the best. You can do anything," Jared replied, stroking his friend's ego and issuing a cloaked dare at the same time.

"Fucker," Chad mumbled, knowing no matter how he answered, he was screwed. "Fine, but I swear I better see one hell of a raise and my Christmas present out of this world awesome," he huffed, grabbing his notes and stalking out of the office.

Jared slumped back in his seat, one thing off his to do list and a dozen more left. He picked up the phone and called the next person. He needed to accomplish the impossible in a very short amount of time.

"Hey Alona, how's business?"

"Busy! Thanks for sending me Mrs. Atkinson. It took me a while to find the right place, but she loved it," Alona said.

"I had no doubts. Alona, I need a favor."

"You know all you have to do is ask. Is everything all right?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah, I just need a quick consultation with a designer," Jared explained.

"How quick?"

"Before Friday."

"Shit! When you ask for one you make it count, don't you?" Alona said, laughing.

Jared never would have asked if he didn't think she could have pulled it off. He liked to set his standards high, but he never set people up to fail.

"Well, I know how you like a good challenge."

"Give me an hour. Let me see what I can do," Alona said, still laughing as she hung up.

Jared had no idea what Jensen would like, he just knew there was no way he was bringing him home and putting him in the guest room the way it was now. It wasn’t that the room wasn't nice or that it was impersonal per se because he'd gone out of his way to make sure all the rooms in his home were not only comfortable, but warm and welcoming. However, this would be Jensen's room, at least for now, and while it was good enough for company, wasn't anywhere good enough for his husband.

He was tempted to talk to the designer about the baby's room too, but he really hoped that Jensen would want to do their child's room together. Jared contented himself with Googling anything and everything ever painted by Jensen for the hour he waited on Alona to call him back. He felt like if he could get a feel for how and what Jensen painted, he'd be able to get a glimpse of the man himself. Plus, it would hopefully help him with his choices for the room.

He steered clear of all the websites offering personal information which, curiously, were only one or two and had such words as private and reclusive as their search prompts. Jared wanted anything personal that he learned to come from Jensen himself.

Jared finally found an online catalogue for an upcoming show Jensen would be having, his first solo show at that, according to the header. He waited for the images to load, his excitement and nervousness growing as he waited. He had no idea what he'd do if Jensen painted abstract art or the paint splattered canvases he saw in all the galleries, because he honestly didn't get the appeal. Jared hoped Jensen would tell him about the show, but he realized they really hadn't had a lot time to spend together and that the next week or so would be just as hectic. He really did want Jensen to take that first step.

The first painting flashed on the screen, catching Jared's attention and taking his breath away. The mountains rose majestically in the background, snow clinging to the peaks, fog floating intermittently across the face of jagged rock. There was a dense forest that encircled the base of the mountains, but as the view moved outward, it opened into an open field just starting to break free of winter’s cold embrace. Jared caught himself reaching out to touch the screen where a small blue flower was peeking its head out past the remnants of melting snow, its petals stirring in a breeze Jared could almost feel.

He clicked to the next page and the next, breath catching at each new picture in the front of him. He stopped on one that seemed familiar. The more he looked at it, he realized it had to have been painted somewhere near Jeff's beach house. He recognized the pier and the placement of the dunes, but what drew his eye was the way the painting seemed to have a life of its own. Jared kept waiting for something to move or shift. He would swear if he stood up and moved forward, he could walk from his office into the painting and be transported to the places Jensen had painted, in this case a mile down the beach from where his brother had lived.

Jared could see the shifting sands on the dunes, and further down at the waters edge, a small crab danced to the side as a wave rushed in. The sun was starting to set, dipping down into the water, reflecting back in orange, pale yellow and pinks, the surface rippling outward as if it actually broke the surface and was slipping into its depths. Jared could feel the sand clinging to his skin, the taste and smell of salt at the back of his throat. Jensen's pictures didn't just stimulate your sight they touched every sense you possessed, wrapped themselves around your heart and squeezed.

He didn't care how much this one cost, he was going to have it. The need to share this with someone was driving him nuts, not to mention the fact that he was far from objective when it came to Jensen. He was pretty damn sure the man could slap stick figures on construction paper, and he'd drop a million on it and not blink an eye. He finally buzzed Chad and waited impatiently for him to answer, never taking his eyes off the screen..

"Jared, it's been ten minutes. I'm never going to get anything done if you keep calling me," Chad answered exasperated.

"Forty five."

"Huh?"

"It's been forty five minutes not ten, and I need you to look at something."

"Fine, give me five minutes. I have one more call to finish for this week’s cancellations, and I'll be in."

Chad was an absolute Philistine when it came to the cultured things in life, but the man had an amazing talent when it came to appraisals. He could tell you whether an object was worth spending money on, not that Jared was a slouch himself, but a second opinion never hurt. He'd asked Chad once why he never pursued a career at an auction house or a job along those lines. Chad had just blinked at him a few times before pulling out a particularly awful script that had been sent to Jared in hopes that he'd produce it. By the time Chad had finished critiquing it, Jared was in tears from laughing so hard, and he'd made his point, tact nor patience was one of his finer traits.

Chad came in a few minutes later, a stack of papers in his hands, which he dropped on Jared's desk.

"All your appointments are cancelled for this week," he heaved a sigh, flopping down in a chair.

"Okay, what about the marriage license?"

Chad pulled a document out of a folder and handed it over.

"Fill that out, sign it and then get Jensen to do the same. I made and appointment for you for Friday 3:00 at your parents house. They don't usually do it at houses anymore, but I laid on the charm and pulled some strings. If you need to change it to your house, let me know tomorrow so I can call."

"Thanks, I'll run by Jensen's tonight or tomorrow, depending on what Alona comes up with for me."

"Now, what did you want me to see?" Chad asked.

"I want you to look at these paintings and tell me what you think," Jared answered, hitting the link to start the catalogue from the back, since he hadn't made it that far yet.

"You thinking of investing, or you looking for a present for somebody?" he asked as he moved his chair around beside Jared.

"Investing."

"Hmm, well let's see what you've got," Chad said, turning the laptop, so he could see.

"Jesus Christ."

"What?" Jared asked.

"These are.... I don't even know what these are" Chad breathed, pulling the laptop in front of him, scrolling to the next picture, and then the next.

He stopped at a painting of a waterfall cascading over the face of a cliff, water pooling at the base, lush plants covered the banks, a butterfly sitting on a flower poised to take off. Jared could see the individual water droplets in the spray hitting the rocks and the foam floating outward to the shoreline.

"Damn."

"You know, it would help if you said something constructive," Jared grumbled.

"Well excuse me for being a little awed," Chad huffed. "Where the hell is the zoom on this damn thing?"

Jared reached across, hitting the button, staying silent as Chad scanned what seemed like every square inch of the picture.

"There you are," he whispered.

"There what is?" Jared asked.

"The artist’s signature," Chad explained.

Jared squinted at the screen but he couldn't make out any signature.

"I don't see a name anywhere," he confessed.

"That's because it's not a standard signature. This artist went with a symbol, not commonly used nowadays, because lets face it, everyone wants to be famous, and if you don't stick your name on it, no one will know it's yours. Way back, when all the big name artist that are dead now, were doing their thing, there were a few that used symbols instead of signatures. They each had reasons why. Some liked to goof around and play tricks, see if anyone would recognize their work without their name attached to it, some didn't want to mess with the paintings aesthetics by scrawling their name across it, and some didn't care about their name at all, just their work," Chad explained.

Jared just gaped at him, as he rattled off facts.

"What?"

Jared shook his head, "I just don't understand."

Chad frowned, "Do you need a refresher course on why I work for you?"

"No! So show me the signature."

"See right there in the far left corner," Chad said, pointing at the spot he was talking about.

"At the bottom?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"Wings."

Jared sat staring for a second, letting his eyes adjust to looking past the water and at the very small strokes of paint left behind by brush and hand. Once Chad pointed them out he could see them. They had to be the tiniest pair of wings he'd ever seen put to paper, well in this case canvas. However, the detail was still there, each feathery wisp, every fine line and the color he thought at first was silver was actually changing. He caught Chad out the corner of his eye, moving his head back and forth, and realized he was doing the same thing.

"What color is that?" Jared finally asked.

"Shit if I know. I'm still trying to figure out how the water is hanging in mid air. I swear I could reach out and grab it."

"It’s almost pearlescent," Jared mused.

"Is that even a word?" Chad asked.

"Shit if I know," Jared mimicked Chad's earlier words.

The phone rang, causing both of them to jump and curse. Jared glanced down at the display, grinning at Alona's name flashing back.

"Took you long enough," he said by way of answer.

"Would you like me to hang up and take my designer home with me and not play anymore?" she sing-songed.

"No, when and where," Jared asked laughing, as he grabbed a pen and paper.

"Tomorrow, 6:00 over on the strip, there's that Italian restaurant and you’re buying."

"Okay, who am I meeting?"

"Her name is Kristen Bell. I've worked with her several times now. She's really good, so do not even think about dabbling in that pool," Alona threatened.

"You have nothing to worry about," Jared answered seriously.

"Hmm. I will expect lunch and a full explanation next week."

"No problem, I'll give you a call as soon as I know what day, and Alona, thanks, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"You’re welcome. Kristen will take care of you. See you next week," Alona promised before ringing off.

"Dinner date?" Chad asked as Jared hung up.

"Yeah, I have to meet the designer."

Chad just gave him a blank look.

"Never mind, I need you to call Eric and have him do a financial work up on the artist for me."

"You want everything?"

"No, just the basic income of a show, what his paintings normally sell for, how much demand. I don't want anything outside of business financials."

"Okay. You know he won't be able to get it all to you this week right?"

"Tell him just the quick report will be fine by Friday. He can give me the whole rundown next week," Jared said.

Chad stood there waiting for Jared to tell him the artist’s name. When none was forthcoming he sighed, "Jared, I have to know who Eric is looking into."

"Tell him Jensen Ross Ackles," Jared answered, eyes glued on his computer again.

"Jensen, your Jensen?"

Jared looked up and blinked. He wasn't sure why Chad was so surprised, but what had caught his attention was Chad calling Jensen his. The pure possessiveness that shot through his body at Chad's question made his breath stutter.

"Yeah, my Jensen." Jared agreed.

"You know I really hate you," Chad grumbled, leaving the office.

Jared just grinned. Looking over at the clock, he saw he had an hour before he needed to leave for his parents’. He also had to call Jensen and find out when would be a good time to run the marriage license by his apartment. Figuring there was no time like the present, he grabbed his phone.

Jensen was headed out the door juggling keys, sketch pads, a box with pencils, brushes and paints when his cell rang. He dropped his keys reaching for his phone and then the phone reaching for his keys.

"Damn it!" he grumbled, bringing the offending device to his ear.

"Well, hello to you too," Jared greeted.

"Sorry, I keep dropping everything," Jensen apologized.

"One of those days huh?"

"Always is when I've got something to do," Jensen sighed. "Did you need something?"

"Oh, I was going to see if it'd be okay if I came by later tonight. I have some paperwork I need you to sign."

"What kind of paperwork?"

"The marriage license needs to be filled out so I can send it back in," Jared explained.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fine. Do you know what time?"

"No, I'm going to have supper with mom and dad tonight and tell them about the baby and us getting married."

"Do you want me to go with you? I don't think you should have to do it by yourself. I mean, it's my responsibility too."

"I'll take care of it. You've already been taking care of enough by yourself. Um, I know it's short notice but I have an appointment for us on Friday," Jared said cautiously.

"An appointment for what?"

"To get married," Jared answered sheepishly.

"Friday? As in this Friday? Two days from now Friday? " Jensen's voice rising as he panicked. It wasn't like he thought Jared would drag his feet, but he wasn't really expecting warp speed either.

"Yes, it's either going to be at my parents house or mine, depending on how they take the news tonight. I figured you could move in the first of the week if that was okay."

Jensen had made it to the car and slid into the seat, resting his head against the steering wheel, married. Oh my God he was going to marry Jared on Friday.

" No, that's fine, whatever you think will work is fine," Jensen finally answered weakly.

"Are you okay?" Jared asked, not liking the sound of Jensen's voice or how slowly it had taken him to answer.

"No really it's fine, just surprised me. I didn't realize you'd want to do it so quick, but it's okay. Just give me a call when you know about what time you're coming so I can keep an ear out for you."

"All right, I'll see you later tonight."

"Bye Jared." Jensen said, hanging up and taking a deep breath.

There were times like now he had to remind himself he wasn't giving in, that he wasn't giving up control. He'd battled back from that place where he'd been beaten and terrorized too, and it was a place he never intended to be again. Jensen had learned the hard way there were some things worth fighting for, and then there were times you swallowed your pride, cut your losses and got the hell out before you couldn't find the door. Jared wasn't really pushing him, rushing a little, okay a lot, but he wasn't pushing, and in the grand scheme of things, Jensen knew Jared well enough to know he could trust him.

Two days. Two days and he'd be married. Just a few more days and the baby would be safe. That's all that really mattered in the long run.

Jensen thankfully missed all the late afternoon traffic, arriving at the shelter just before five. The grand opening was slated for the beginning of March, just a couple of weeks after his show, and there was still so much to do with both events that Jensen sometimes felt his blood pressure rising just thinking about it. He pushed open the door with his shoulder, balancing the box and sketch pads without dropping anything this time, sighing when the door shut behind him, and he was able to drop the box on the table beside the door. The sounds of an argument coming down the stairs, while not odd, the people arguing were.

Tom was a counselor in the men's wing while Mike was a counselor in the family wing, a choice that Jensen didn't fully understand, with Mike being as loud as he was until he'd seen him with a little girl who'd tried to protect her mother from the fists of her boyfriend. The man had single handedly calmed the child enough to get her through the medical treatment and documentation of injuries, before taking her to see her mother who would be in the hospital for several days. When child services wanted to put her into foster care, he'd talked the woman in circles until she'd agreed that the little girl could stay at the shelter, even though it wasn't officially open, until the little girls mother was out of the hospital and able to join her.

Jensen secretly thought the woman just couldn't take listening to Mike anymore because once he got started, there was no stopping him, but if it kept the family together he was all for whatever method Mike chose. He wasn't so much surprised that Mike was arguing as he was that Tom was. Tom was quiet, very quiet, which just proved opposites do attract since him and Mike had been partners for five years and another reason Jensen was shocked at the disagreement. They never fought, or at least he'd never seen it before, and as soon as they caught sight of him, the argument came to a quick halt.

"Jenny!" Mike exclaimed, bounding down the rest of the stairs, and wrapping him in a hug.

Jensen tried not to flinch at the nickname but obviously didn't do a good enough job.

"Mike, not everyone likes having y's added to the end of their name. You know how well that went over with Chris and Steve," Tom reminded.

"They don't have a humorous bone in their body," Mike grumbled, but he looked at Jensen's pale face as he stepped back. "Okay so no y's. What's it going to be J?"

"Jen's fine. So what's all the fuss about?" Jensen asked, wondering if it was something with the shelter, and if he could help.

"Mike running his mouth as usual," Tom sighed, but he was looking at Mike with obvious affection.

"It's important to you, and it gives them more time to get things rolling," Michael defended, grabbing Tom's hand and squeezing.

"Is it something I can help with?" Jensen asked, picking the box back up and heading for the stairs.

"I don't know. It's not an issue right now anyway. Chris and Steve were up in the office a few minutes ago," Tom answered, waving at the ceiling indicating the top floor.

"Great," Jensen grumbled. He was at least going to get his exercise today.

Chris and Steve had plans spread across the desk when he walked into the room. Each seemed to be pointing at different sections of the builder’s design.

"What's going on?" Jensen asked, setting his box on the chair and walking around the desk to get a better look.

"We apparently didn't do our homework well enough," Steve sighed, leaning a hip against the desk.

"Okay, details are required, that was too vague," Jensen sighed, leaning back and digging his thumbs into the base of his back. Stairs were not his friend lately.

"Mike was just in here, said he needed to talk to us about something we didn't take into account when we were setting up the wings and the groupings," Chris explained.

"I thought you had it pretty much covered." Jensen said, running through all the wings in his head and still coming up blank.

"Well so did we, but as we were just told we missed the boat," Chris sighed.

"We didn't realize there was another group of people that don't like to be classified one way or the other. They don't necessarily see themselves as male or female, or they see themselves as both and having to choose a wing may be uncomfortable or offensive to them," Steve explained.

"Oh," Jensen responded, blinking. He'd had no idea that there were people that didn't have a chosen identity.

"Yeah, oh," Chris mimicked.

"So Mike brought this up now, why?" Jensen asked.

"He's apparently wanted to for awhile but Tom's managed to keep him quiet until now. Tom had a friend that didn't identify, and it didn't go over so well in their school. Kid got cornered one night. Assholes beat the shit out of him, put him in a coma, died a month later. Mike knew about it, wanted to mention it, but Tom knew finances were tight and didn't want to make it into a thing. Mike figured it couldn't hurt to tell us. That way, the next time we did have some extra we could include it in our plans," Steve said, gesturing at the blueprint.

Jensen looked back at the plans, he had taken a couple of classes in architectural design so he knew what he was looking at. He knew where the load bearing walls were and where all the lines were run. He ran his finger along the plans, running through his memory the layout of the shelter, and overlaying it with the blueprint.

"You don't have anything on the top floor do you?" Jensen questioned, finally looking up.

"No, it's not finished. We were thinking of opening up some more classes when we got more funding and more volunteers. You've seen how many of these kids have come here with absolutely no skills except the kind they have no business ever having. If they can leave here with a way to support themselves, get a job maybe get back into school, then they have a good chance of making it. Then there's the self esteem and the confidence building it does," Chris supplied.

"Yeah, but you could take this section here," Jensen said, pointing to a third of the upper level, which was just a little smaller than the other wings. "Put in a separate bathroom for this level here," he said, pointing to where all the plumbing ran as well as the electric. "It wouldn't cost as much as you think it would. You'd be tapping off of the existing plumbing and electrical. You have to have one up there anyway right?"

"Yeah, if we have classes up there we would have to. The walls would have to be put in, insulation and then we'd have to get the beds and dressers." Steve listed off the things that would need to be done.

"It's a six month project at least, even when we can get the funding," Chris groaned.

"Maybe, but Mike was right, at least it got the ball rolling," Jensen said, walking back around the table and sitting down in the chair. "I brought some of the supplies over, and I'll bring some more by next week."

"How's the painting going?" Chris asked, sliding the chair back so Steve could settle in his lap.

"Getting there. I have a couple more to finish, and then I have to start figuring out placement." Jensen cringed at the thought.

Steve watched Jensen fiddle with the buttons on his shirt, his knee bouncing up and down. When he started chewing on his bottom lip, it was time to put a stop to the stalling.

"Okay Jensen you've put it off long enough. Why don't you tell us what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Jensen looked up, eyes wide at being caught before he'd worked up the nerve to spill his guts.

"He's talking about the fact that you're about to vibrate a hole in the floor, and if you chew on your lip any harder I'm going to get to try my hand at sewing," Chris supplied, tone calm and even.

"I'm getting married on Friday," Jensen said in a rush.

Steve turned and looked at Chris before he swung back around to look at Jensen again, sure he'd been hearing things. "Excuse me?"

"I'm getting married on Friday," Jensen repeated, steadying his voice. It wouldn't do for these two men to catch any hint of indecision.

"Who to exactly?" Chris finally asked, his voice coming out in a near growl.

"Jared Padalecki," Jensen answered, deciding it was just better to get it out there instead of dragging it out.

"Padalecki.... Jeff's brother?" Steve questioned, confusion marring his face.

"Yes, he's a good guy," Jensen said, adding the last bit trying to come up with something to take the scowl off Chris' face.

"But he's Jeff's brother. I mean when did you start seeing him, much less it get this serious this fast. I know you loved Jeff, Jensen, I don't understand....." Steve trailed off at a loss.

"That's not all is it Jen?" Chris asked. He'd been watching the shift in Jensen's body language as Steve tried to wrap his head around the unexpected news. The subtle shifting of Jensen's arms to wrap around his stomach and the way his shoulders dropped in order to protect himself spoke of something even more disturbing than just a marriage out of left field.

"No," Jensen mumbled.

Chris couldn't remember exactly how many times he'd seen Jensen reach way down deep and pull from some inner reserve of strength, but he watched it again in awe as the man in front of him straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin. He did notice that one arm stayed wrapped around his stomach but when he looked back up, he was looking into stormy green eyes.

" No, that's not all," Jensen paused, taking a steadying breath. "I happen to be pregnant. I'm due in September."

Chris was sure both his and Steve's expressions would have made for awesome video footage, what with both their jaws being down around their ankles. Steve actually found his voice first which was probably a good thing because Chris was sure what was going to come out of his mouth wouldn't have been fit for tiny ears, if it even had ears yet.

"Okay, we'll get back to that," Steve said, shaking his head. "My question is, why are you marrying him?"

"Jared's a good man. He deserves the chance to be a part of his child's life. Yes, I know he can do that without me marrying him, but it's not the same and we both know it. Steve, it's not like I'm going to find anyone to replace Jeff. I can't see myself even wanting to find someone for a very long time but now I have a baby to think about," Jensen shrugged.

"Isn't that what you're doing though, or did?" Chris asked.

"No!" Jensen glared at the other man.

"Chris, he doesn't have to explain himself to us," Steve said, poking Chris in the side. "I'm sorry Jensen, we're just worried about you. Honestly, if this is what you think is best then we're here to support you and your decision."

"Thanks, I know you don't understand it, and the circumstances surrounding me and Jared had nothing to do with me trying to replace Jeff. It was something that happened and the baby was a result. Yes, it wasn't planned, and yes, it was unexpected, but on the same note, yes, I want this baby and honestly that's all that matters."

"Let me ask you this and then I'll leave it be. Is he threatening to take the baby away if you don't marry him?" Chris asked.

Jensen smiled at the typical overprotective question. "No, Jared would never do that unless I wasn't fit to take care of the baby. He's not like that Chris. I know you think he's an ass because he had sex with me when Jeff had just died, so now I'm wondering is that what you think of me?"

"I know how hard you took it when Jeff died! No I don't think you're an ass, I just don't like it when somebody takes advantage." Chris muttered, face flushing.

"He didn't take advantage. We both had a little too much alcohol, and way to much pain. We tried to forget it for a little while and made some not so adult decisions." Jensen explained.

Chris let out a breath, relaxing into the chair and bringing Steve back with him. "Okay so I'll give him a chance, but he fucks up then I'll rip his head off his shoulders."

"Hope you still have that step stool," Jensen said, laughing.

"Oh God, is he another giant?"

"Well, he's not 6 foot 6."

"That's good to know. So how tall is he?" Chris asked when Jensen was still grinning at him.

"6 foot 4," Jensen answered, snickering.

"You know one of these days I'm going to lock you in the room with Mike and not let you out until you cry like the little bitch you are," Chris snarled.

"Hey, little ears!" Jensen exclaimed, covering his stomach.

"Will probably hear worse if you intend to be around here any amount of time with the likes of Mike and Gabriel," Steve responded, snorting.

"Since I'm going to be teaching classes, it's kind of inevitable isn't it?"

"Are you going to be able to teach the classes on top of all the other stuff you have going on?" Chris asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, don't you have to take it easy when you're pregnant?"

"Chris, I'm pregnant, not three steps from the grave. I can do everything I've been doing. I just have to take more breaks, you know, sit down and rest because for some reason I'm tired all the time."

"Oh, okay. I was just wondering. I've never been around anyone that's pregnant."

"That's not true. We've had plenty of people go through the shelters we worked at that were pregnant," Steve corrected.

"Yes. but they were only there for a few days. Jensen isn't just here for a few days now is he smart ass," Chris said, pinching Steve on the ass.

"Ow!" Steve cried, trying to jump away from Chris' fingers.

Jensen giggled at their antics, causing them both to freeze and look over at him.

"Did you just do what I think you just did?" Chris asked, unholy glee written across his face.

"No," Jensen squeaked.

"Oh yes you did, you giggled. Steve have you ever heard him giggle before?"

"Nope, laugh a few times, snort once, but never giggle," Steve assured.

"I have never snorted," Jensen said, trying to keep a straight face. He slapped his hand across his face as another giggle broke free.

"I think he protests too much," Chris mused, shifting Steve to the side, so he could peer around him to Jensen's flushed face.

"Shut up!" Jensen exclaimed, shifting in his seat.

"What's wrong? Ants in your pants" Steve asked, noticing Jensen's inability to sit still.

"No, another gift of pregnancy. I have to pee," Jensen said as he shot off the chair and out the door. Chris and Steve's howls of laughter following him out the door.

Jensen came back to the office after he'd gotten rid of the two bottles of water he'd drank on the drive over. Steve was pouring over the blueprints, muttering to himself. Jensen stood in the doorway watching the frown lines deepen between the other man's brow and his lips twist up in a scowl.

"Feel better?" Steve asked without looking up.

"Much, where did Chris run off to?" Jensen questioned, making his way into the room and picking up the box of supplies.

"He went to talk to Tom. For some reason, the boy responds better to Chris, always has. Should you be picking that up?" Steve tilted his head at the box in Jensen's hands.

"Yes, mama. I can pick up the little box of brushes and paints."

Steve rolled his eyes, "You know it's just going to get worse right? I mean, I'm going to be bad enough, but Chris is going to have you bat shit insane before you have that kid," Steve said, nodding at Jensen's stomach.

Jensen groaned. He'd known telling them would be the easy part, the hard part would be dealing with the over protective instincts both men possessed. He wasn't sure how he was going to survive another eight months of mothering and that was without the rest of his friends finding out.

"I'm going to go put these in the room. Is there anything else I can do while I'm here?"

"Nah, unless you want to go find out why Gabriel is moping around. He won't talk to me or Chris," Steve explained.

"Any idea where he'd be?"

"My guess would be either the family wing or the kids playroom. I know he wanted to hook up some of the game equipment that some of the stores donated the other week," Steve sighed, sitting back.

"All right I'll see what I can do. Unless it's something major, I'm going to head out after. I've got to get some more work done on those canvases and Jared is supposed to come by later tonight." Jensen ignored Steve's raised eyebrow as he walked out. He stopped by the room that would be used for art classes, a little thrill of excitement shooting through him. He'd never thought of himself as a teacher, but he couldn't help the rush of happiness he got every time he saw the easels and stools set up around the room.

He'd made sure not to put them in any particular order, nothing was in a straight line or semi-circle. Jensen didn't want the people walking in here to be worried about what someone else was doing or how their picture looked compared to their neighbors. He wanted them to let loose and paint what was inside, what needed to come out, whether it was pretty or the ugliest of ugly. He set the brushes out with the paint, put the sketch books on the table and just stood looking around for a few more minutes, taking in the reality of a dream of two very hard headed men.

Jensen made his way through the rooms, sticking his head into the larger family dorms, the decorating was vastly different from the other wings. This one was geared to be as homey as if you were in your own house. The guys had tried to give the illusion of stability in a world where most of the people had never had such a thing. He didn't see Gabriel so he headed to the play room. When he rounded the corner, he could see Gabriel sitting on the floor, back against the wall, elbows on his knees with his head in his hands.

Jensen scuffed his feet to make a little noise, something else he'd learned around here, never sneak up on people, the reactions were varied and sometimes violent. Gabriel shifted his head to the side, indicating that he heard the approach but didn't unfold from his position. Jensen slid his way down the wall beside the younger man. He was close enough to hear the slight hitch in Gabriel's breathing but not close enough to be touching him.

"Hey Jensen," Gabriel mumbled.

"Hey Gabe. You okay?"

Gabriel sighed lifting his head and looked over at him. Jensen could see the dark circles under the kid’s eyes and the swollen red rimmed lids. No, everything was far from okay that was for sure.

"No, not really."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No, not really," Gabriel took a deep breath, "but not talking about it hasn't been such a stellar plan either."

"Gabe, you know keeping it bottled up just makes it worse, but it's your choice. I'm here to listen if you want me to," Jensen said, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes, waiting to see if Gabe would take the opportunity to get what was bothering him off his chest, or if he would carry it around for a few more days.

"My dad's getting out of prison next week," Gabe whispered a few minutes later.

"He's still living in Georgia though, right?"

"Yeah, that's where the prison is too," Gabe conceded.

"They let you know or did you find out some other way?"

He sent me a letter," Gabe said through a shuddering breath.

"How did he get your address?" Jensen asked. He knew there was no way in hell Gabriel had given it to him.

"He didn't. It was forwarded through the prison system with the notice of his early release on good behavior," Gabe sneered, some of the fight presenting itself back into his demeanor.

Jensen wasn't privy to all the records on the counselors and the soon incoming clients. He was just going to be helping out. He was aware that 80% of the counselors and 98% of the volunteers all had abuse in their backgrounds. Chris had told him a little about each of the counselors when he was placing them, he was never really sure why, but he was damn sure glad he had a little bit to go on now.

Gabe's father was an alcoholic that had felt it was his right as man of the house to beat the hell out of everyone living under his roof. He'd made quite the game of it too for fifteen years, until he went to far and killed his wife in a drunken rage because the biscuits hadn't been done quick enough. Gabriel had tried to stop him and been in the hospital a month for his attempt. He'd gone into the system right out of the hospital and had run away six months later. It'd taken four years on the streets and stumbling into the old shelter that Chris and Steve had worked at for him to finally find someone that not only gave him more than ten seconds and a hot meal but someone that he'd listen to.

"What did the letter say?" Jensen asked.

"I don't know I haven't opened it," Gabe mumbled.

"Gabe, is it the fact that he's getting out, or that he wrote you that's bothering you the most?"

"He only served four years Jensen, four years for killing my mom. They didn't even count what he did to me, and now he's out, so he can go on living while she's dead. How's that fair?" Gabe asked, voice breaking on the last, tears streaking his face.

Jensen leaned over and wrapped his arm around Gabe's shoulders, "It's not fair, and it sucks, and I know it hurts like hell, but there's nothing we can do to change it. You've done the only thing you can do."

"What's that?" Gabe said, sniffling as he wiped his face on his sleeve.

"You survived it, and you've made something of yourself. You went back to school, and now you're helping people get back on their feet the same way you did. Your mom is proud of you and that means more than anything in the world," Jensen said softly, hoping his words would sink in and sooth the sharp edges of Gabriel's pain.

"Yeah? You don't think she'd be ashamed of what I did before?" Gabe whispered.

Jensen knew he was talking about the four years he'd been on the streets. There were very few ways for a fifteen year old to make money and none of them were legal nor safe and all of them were humiliating and demeaning.

"Gabriel, did you love your mom?"

"Yes," he answered puzzled.

"Even though she stayed with your dad, even though he hurt her and you?"

"Yes, she was just scared Jensen, she wasn't a bad person. She loved me, she would tell me to hide."

"I know, but she made a mistake right?"

Gabe thought for a few seconds, nodding his head a little. "She should have asked for help."

"That's right, and you did what you had to in order to survive. She loved you Gabriel and no matter what you did or will do, she will always love you. As for being proud of you, how could she not be? You went back to school, you're in college, and you work here as a counselor. What's not to be proud of?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and Gabriel we all make mistakes," Jensen answered, ruffling Gabe's hair. "Now how about helping me off the floor. My ass is numb," he griped.

Gabe laughed as he stood up and helped Jensen straighten up off the floor.

"Are you going to read the letter?" Jensen asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking about letting Steve read it first, then I'll see how it goes."

"Good idea," Jensen agreed. "I'm going to head on home. I need to clean up and get some work done. Tell the guys I'll see them Monday."

"Okay. Hey, Jensen," Gabe called.

"Yeah," Jensen said, turning at the doorway to look back.

"Thanks,"

"You’re welcome Gabe." Jensen said, smiling as he left the room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared pulled into the garage at his parents’ house. He turned his car off and rested his head back against the seat, trying to get the sudden case of nerves under control. He was certain no one in his professional life would believe that Jared Padalecki was ever nervous about anything, but he was like anyone else when delivering news to his parents that he wasn't sure what their reaction would be. The lights flicked on over the door letting him know his mother had been watching for him, and making him smile at the memories of all the nights throughout his teenage years where she'd done the same thing.

Jared squared his shoulders getting out of the car and heading for the house. Sherri met him at the door, pulling him down for a quick hug and he tried not to fidget under the mandatory mother's examination of child well being. When she was at least moderately happy with what she saw, she shooed him into the living room where his father was waiting.

"So you passed, I see," Jerry raised a brow when Jared slumped onto the sofa.

"Barely," Jared sighed.

"Well dark circles under the eyes will get you nailed every time son," Jerry quipped.

Jared scowled. He couldn't really debate the fact, and he knew the sleeping situation wasn't going to be resolved until next week so commenting on it wasn't going to get him anywhere. His stomach took that as its opening to remind him he had skipped lunch.

"Well, at least we know that's not suffering," his dad intoned, "but it means you skipped lunch again doesn't it?"

"I plead the fifth," Jared ducked his head.

"Boy, you should know by now that gets you in more trouble than copping to the crime. Get in there before I tell your mom," Jerry grumbled, shaking his head. He really did worry about the boy. It never mattered how old his kids got, they would always be his little boys. Now that Jeff was gone it just made him worry twice as much over Jared.

"Did mama cook?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, she's been doing more of that lately. Cooking was always her way of dealing with things."

"I should come by more," Jared said grimly.

"Jared we know you have a lot going on. She has to deal with Jeff's death, whether you come by once or four times a week. Sure, we'd love to see you more, but we know you have your own life, son. Don't be feeling guilty about something you have no reason to feel guilty about."

Jared had always kept in close contact with his parents, calling at least once a week and eating dinner with them as often as possible, which admittedly with his schedule wasn't often enough. Things were going to change and change drastically. He was already contracted to produce the movie that would start filming shortly, and then he was in talks for one other, but after that he was only picking projects that would keep him close to home and give him more time for his family.

"So what did you cook for us mama," Jared asked, dropping down at the kitchen table where the places were already set. They usually ate in the dining room but his mom would sometimes opt for the kitchen when she felt they needed a more homey comfortable setting. He wasn't sure if this time it was for him or for her, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

"Chicken and pastry," Sherri said, smiling when Jared's stomach rumbled again.

Jared grinned. Comfort food to go along with the setting, his mama may not know what was going on, but she always knew what he needed to help him get through whatever was bothering him.

They finished supper and had taken their dessert into the living room. He could tell it had cost his parents a great deal not to ask why he had unexpectedly asked to have dinner in the middle of the week.

Jared took a deep breath letting it out slowly, he knew he couldn't put off telling them any longer.

"Jared, it doesn't matter what it is. You know there's nothing that would make us love you any less," Sherri said, reaching out squeezing his knee.

"Yeah," Jared swallowed, "but I don't think I've ever quite twisted things up this badly before." He couldn't bring himself to say mistake or messed up, Jensen would never be a problem and their baby, while not planned, was definitely not a mistake.

"How about you just tell us. That way we can help," Jerry suggested.

Jared had never felt more like a sixteen year old in his life. How in the hell did you tell your parents that not only did you get someone pregnant, but it was your brother's fiancé, and on top of that, you planned to marry him in two days? Obviously, not by blurting it out, judging by the absolute dead silence surrounding him and the dumbfounded looks both his parents were sporting.

"Oh shit," he groaned. "That was not the way I wanted to tell you."

"Well," Jerry said, clearing his throat and glancing at his wife, "it's not quite what we were imagining."

Jared looked over at his mom who had yet to say anything. He could have sworn he saw a smile before it was replaced by the face of a mother getting ready to go into the inquisition phase. Jared sunk down in his chair and groaned again. Sometimes, he wondered where all the self assurance he had as a producer went when he crossed into his childhood home.

"Jared, would you like to tell us exactly how this happened?" Sherri asked.

"Mom, I'm not sure you want me to explain that particular aspect," Jared said. He really couldn't help it, sometimes the smart ass just popped out.

"Jared Tristan Padalecki don't get smart with me! You know exactly what I mean, now start explaining."

"Yes, ma’am," Jared mumbled.

"Jared, just tell us what happened son," Jerry interjected.

"The day of the funeral, I had to get away. It was too much… all the people crying and talking about Jeff. I.... I wanted to go up to the cabin, but I'd been drinking. Jensen was out on the porch and he wouldn't let me drive so he took me." Jared took a breath and a tentative look at his parents. They were both sitting quietly, waiting for him to continue, neither with anything but sorrow on their face. God, he hated bringing up the funeral.

"Anyway, we got a little smashed, Jensen and I, and one thing led to another, and I don't know how it happened. Honestly, we were both there and, I swear, neither one of us ever thought about each other that way before," Jared stated earnestly, worried that his parents would think this was something that was going on before Jeff's death.

"Jared, we know you would never do anything to hurt your brother. For that matter, we know Jensen wouldn't either. Those two boys were joined at the hip for as long as I could remember," Jerry assured.

"Honey, your dad and I understand. I can't say we're happy about it, but we understand. We had each other and both you boys were floundering without Jeff. He was always the glue that held you both together in so many ways," Sherri said, grabbing Jared's hand.

"What aren't you happy about?" Jared asked, worried that he was going to have to choose between his parents and Jensen.

"Well, I can't speak for your father, but I'm not happy about the fact that you both got drunk and had unprotected sex. Makes me wonder what the heck we taught you."

"Is that all?"

"No, I think you're getting married for the wrong reasons and that's never a good thing, but you're both adults, and I can't stop you so it's my job to support you," Sherri stated matter of factly.

"If your going to be mad mom, please be mad at me. Jensen honestly doesn't deserve it, he was trying to help, and then he when he came to see me, he was prepared to have the baby himself. He's worried about how you're going to take the news and the stress isn't good for him." Jared knew he was rambling, but he needed his parents to understand it wasn't Jensen's fault.

"Jared, we're not mad at anybody. We've always liked Jensen. I was disappointed he wouldn't be a legal part of our family because, honestly, I've always considered him a part, it's just hard getting him to see it," Sherri said.

"We just don't want to see anyone get hurt, and I have a feeling Jensen's already been that route before," Jerry added.

"What do you mean?" Jared asked.

"I don't really know, just a feeling I get. There were a couple of comments that Jeff dropped, and that weekend he graduated from med school, something was definitely not right that night," Jerry answered.

Jared thought back, trying to remember what his dad was talking about, but nothing out of the ordinary presented itself.

"I don't remember anything," Jared admitted.

"That's because you left right after the reception for the airport, and it wasn't anything obvious. You know neither Jeff nor Jensen would make a scene about anything, it just seemed things were a little tense," Jerry explained.

"Oh, Jeff never said anything to me," Jared mused.

"Jeff was your brother but he did still have his secrets and when it came to Jensen, I think he had a plenty," Jerry observed.

"So," Sherri said, leaning back and rubbing her hands together, "when is my grandbaby due?"

Jared looked over at his mom, his mouth hanging open, the shift in conversation blind siding him. His dad burst out laughing, adding to his disorientation.

"Um, I don't know," Jared confessed.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sherri asked.

"Well, I mean I know he's five weeks along, but I never asked him the due date. I was a little busy trying to convince him to marry me," Jared answered.

"Okay, well if he's five weeks then count forward thirty five more and that gives you an estimate. Jerry go grab that calendar off the desk in the office," Sherri ordered.

"Wait, I thought it was nine months, wouldn't that be 36 weeks?" Jared asked, completely confused.

"Yes honey if they hadn't lied since the beginning of time. The actual time is 40 weeks, which is ten months. They say it's because some months have five weeks thus the nine months, but everyone that's ever been pregnant knows that's a conspiracy to make you feel better about being pregnant an extra month," his mom growled the last part.

His dad stuck his head around the corner, shaking his head at Jared, making slashing gestures across his neck. Jared wasn't sure exactly where the train left the tracks but the crash was going to be a doozy if he didn't find the emergency brake quick.

"Hey mom, would it be okay if we did the wedding over here?" Jared asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Sure baby. Will it be okay with Jensen?"

"I don't think he'll mind, but I'll ask him. I've got to go by there tonight. If it's all right with him, then we have an appointment at 3:00 on Friday, if that's okay."

"That's fine, sweetheart. Oh you found it," Sherri said, taking the calendar from her husband.

"Good save," Jerry whispered to Jared as he sat down beside him.

"All right, so lets see," Sherri started counting the weeks. "Jensen should be due the third or fourth week of September," she announced happily.

"I'll ask him for the exact date tonight, and speaking of which, I need to get going. I don't know how late he's staying up now. The site I was reading said most people are really tired when they're pregnant."

"Hey honey, what did you mean earlier when you said you had to convince Jensen to marry you?" his mom asked.

"Oh, he just wasn't sure it was the best option, thought I might be jumping the gun since I'd just found out he was pregnant, so he made me wait a week to make sure, I wasn't just reacting to the situation without thinking it through," Jared explained.

"Obliviously that wasn't the case. What changed his mind?" she asked, that smile that he swore he saw earlier on her face again.

"I've no idea mom, but I don't intend to give him a reason to regret it," Jared answered, leaning down and giving her a kiss.

"I'll see you Friday around 2:00. I'm going to get out of here so I can run by Jensen's and take care of some things," Jared hugged his dad on the way out. "Thanks dad."

"No thanks necessary son, you know we love you and Jensen's always had a special place in our hearts," his dad said.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared called Jensen as soon as he pulled out of his parents driveway, letting him know that he was on his way over, and that it would take him about 45 minutes to get there with traffic. Jensen said that was fine, he wasn't going to bed anytime soon, which made Jared want to question how much longer he was planning to stay up since it was already nine and Jensen sounded worn out as it was.

He pulled up in front of Jensen's house, realizing it was the first time he'd ever been there. It was in a part of town that seemed to be more business than residential but the house itself was well kept. The lawn, what little bit there was of it, was cut and trimmed and there were flowering plants around the steps and flanking the small walkway to the door. He grabbed the folder with the documents and the bag with the food his mother sent and made his way to the door.

He knocked several times, waiting patiently as he heard muffled curses and hurried steps headed his way. There was a moment of silence, and then he heard several bolts sliding back and the doorknob turning. Jared's mouth went dry and he had to fight to keep his mouth closed when Jensen pulled the door open. Jensen was standing in front of him, the hallway light spilling across him, giving him an almost angelic quality. That is, if angels came in jeans so soft and worn there were holes in several places that made Jared want to cry, not to mention the white tank top hugging the long lean torso that was streaked with several different color paints.

Jensen stepped back, letting Jared in and that just shifted his attention to the fact that Jensen was barefoot, and there was a small drop of yellow paint on the top of his right foot. Jared jerked his attention back to Jensen when he realized the other man had asked him a question.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No, I just left my parents house. Oh, mama sent you some supper," Jared said, waving the bag around.

"Really?"

"Yeah, have you eaten yet?"

"Um, no, I forget sometimes when I paint," Jensen gestured vaguely behind him.

Jared bit his tongue against the urge to tell Jensen he couldn't keep doing that, but something must have shown on his face.

"I know Jared, I'm trying. It's new to me too," Jensen said quietly.

"How about you clean up, and I'll heat some up for you?"

Jensen looked down at his hands and grimaced. "Okay, the plates are over the sink," he said, walking out of the room.

Jared quickly found the spoons and filled a plate, placing it in the microwave to heat up. He put the rest of the leftovers in the refrigerator, grabbed the pitcher of tea, and went in search of glasses. By the time Jensen made it back to the kitchen, Jared had everything set up at the small dining room table.

"Thanks," Jensen said, sliding into the chair. "Do you know how long it's been, since I've had homemade chicken and pastry?" Jensen asked, digging in.

"No, but I'm guessing awhile from the looks of it," Jared said chuckling.

"Years, man, years."

Jared watched him eat for several minutes, the pure pleasure of good food written across his face and vocalized with moans of happiness. Jensen blushed when he realized that Jared was watching him. He took a second to wipe his mouth and take a few swallows of tea.

"So what did your parents say?"

"Well, they were understandably upset that their lessons on having protected sex went unheeded," Jared answered, causing Jensen to choke on his last mouthful of tea.

"Oh God," Jensen groaned.

"It was a blast let me tell you, but overall they were cool. I mean you know them Jensen, they're worried about the both of us, but they're excited to."

"Yeah, your parents have always been really good to me."

"Oh, my mom asked, and I can't believe I didn't. I mean we figured out pretty close but not exactly," Jared said, stumbling over his words.

"What?"

"When's the baby due exactly?"

"Oh, September 27th."

Jensen finished eating and put the dishes in the dishwasher. He leaned back against the cabinet and yawned, hiding it behind his hand.

"Did you have something I was supposed to fill out?" he asked.

"Yeah, the marriage license," Jared said, pulling it out and sliding it over as Jensen came back to the table to fill it out.

"You look tired," Jared observed.

"A little, but I need to finish this painting. I've got a show in less than a month, and I still have two more after this one to finish," Jensen explained.

"Is it safe to paint when you’re pregnant?"

Jensen would have taken offense if it wasn't for the fact that, not only was Jared genuinely worried for the baby's health, but Jensen had, had to look it up himself and then change everything. So he couldn't very well hold it against the man for wanting to make sure they were both being taken care of.

"It wasn't but it is now. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I checked into it. I had to get rid of all the oil based paints and change the way I do my clean up but now everything I use is non toxic and have no harmful fumes," Jensen explained.

"I was reading online the other day about all the different things that could make the baby sick and it got me thinking about the stuff you had to use when you painted and I didn't know if you'd thought about it or not. I should have figured you would, but I just wondered."

Jensen smiled, he'd seen just about every side of Jared, there was to see, or at least he thought he had, but the one that rambled was new, which made him wonder what else he'd discover once they were married and living together.

Jared stood up and stretched, his back popping with the movement. "I'm going to go so you can get done and get some rest. Don't stay up too late, it's not good for you."

"Yeah, you either from the looks of it," Jensen replied, noticing the dark circles under Jared's eyes.

"Hmm, hopefully that'll get better next week. The justice of the peace is supposed to meet us at my parents’ house on Friday at 3:00 so you might want to get there a little early. That way, mom can get in her few minutes worth of gushing before hand," Jared said, grinning at the look of discomfort on Jensen's face.

"See, that's why I wanted to go tonight so that part would already be over with," Jensen grumbled.

Jared couldn't help the grin that was still on his face two hours later when he crawled into bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Jared spent the next morning and afternoon cleaning out the guest bedrooms. He took apart all the furniture in Jensen's room first starting with the bed. He removed all the pictures off the wall and took down the mirror over the dresser. Then he moved to the room that would be the nursery, doing the same in it. When he finished, he called a moving company to take it all to a storage facility that he and his parents rented. Chad promised to meet them there so that he could get ready for his meeting with the designer.

He showered, shaved and dressed quickly, having decided at the last minute to print off some of the pictures from Jensen's catalogue. He didn't think he could describe them well enough for the designer to understand just how special Jensen was. He printed off a few of what he'd started calling the warms and the colds, scenes that had beaches and fields overflowing with wild flowers, and mountains and plateaus covered in snow and ice. Jared wanted to make sure the designer saw both sides of Jensen's work.

He had already placed an order for the catalogue to be delivered to his office, wanting to be able to touch the glossy pages instead of having to stifle the impulse to touch his computer screen. He'd already had to clean it so many times, he was certain it was going to short circuit. He grabbed the pages, his keys and rushed out the door, not wanting to be late. As it was, he made it to the restaurant with fifteen minutes to spare and actually had the opportunity to sit back and relax.

He stood as the hostess approached with a petite blonde and wondered, not for the first time, why his life was comprised of delicate females he was afraid he'd break if he squeezed too hard. The hostess left and Jared introduced himself, relaxing when he shook the designers hand and realized she was anything but fragile.

"So I hear you have an emergency of sorts," she stated, cutting right to the chase.

"Yes, I need a room done by the end of this weekend, so it can be occupied on Monday," Jared answered.

"Hmmmmm."

The waiter appeared, stalling any other comments. After they'd placed their orders Jared waited for her to continue. He wasn't used to being the uncomfortable one in meetings but then again he wasn't used to not being in control.

Finally, he caved and asked, "Can you do it?"

She looked at him intently for a couple of minutes then said brightly, "unless you want a slave dungeon, I'm sure it's doable."

Jared choked on his water, "nothing like that Ms. Bell," he finally answered.

"Kristen, please. So exactly what do you need done and why the rush, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's complicated," Jared stalled. He'd been trying to figure out exactly what to tell the woman since he'd talked with Alona.

"Listen Jared, you don't mind me calling you Jared, do you?"

"No, of course not."

"Okay, here's the thing. I don't care if you want a sex swing hanging from your ceiling, I can get it done and get it done discreetly. Whatever it is that you need, it stays with me. Think of me as a doctor or a lawyer, I'll even sign a confidentiality waver. It's not something that's new, believe me, so whatever you need to tell me to get the job done right, tell me." Kristen said. She sat back in her chair and waited for Jared to decide what he was going to do.

Jared stared at her and finally made up his mind. It couldn't be the weirdest thing she'd ever heard, surely.

"I'm getting married this weekend," he paused, and she nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"It's not the conventional,bride and groom fall in love, get engaged and plan a big wedding with all of their family and friends kind of wedding. The man I'm marrying is also pregnant. We've known each other most of our lives but until recently he was with someone else, someone that was close to us both actually." Jared paused again waiting for the questions.

Kristen just continued to look at him, waiting for him to continue. Her lack of curiosity was really beginning to unnerve him.

"Anyway, he's going to have his own room, for now at least, and I want it to be something he'd like, not the generic guest room it was," Jared finally finished.

"So lets see if I have this right. The man you're marrying is going to be in the bedroom you wish to redecorate, and he's pregnant. I'm also going to assume that the man we are speaking of was your brother's fiance and that he's pregnant with your child, not that it really matters whose it is. I'm also going to assume that you have feelings for him that go beyond taking responsibility for getting him pregnant and taking care of your child?" she sat back calmly while Jared gaped at her.

"How do you know all that?"

"Because, Jared, I do my homework. I like to know whom I'm working with, and what they expect. It helps me make sure I make them happy. Now, I don't care about the why's and the how's of your relationship but it helps me with the mindset of what your doing, and what you want to accomplish. What's the gentleman's name?"

"You didn't find that out?" Jared snarked.

"No, I was researching you, not your brothers fiance. Your brother's death came up in search of your name and in that was the reference to the fiance. I just used the information I had with what you gave me and made some educated guesses."

"You sure you're in the right business?" Jared asked.

"You know I've been asked that a lot. I like this one just fine, but if I ever need a career change, I guess I know what to try. Now, who is the room for?"

"His name is Jensen."

"Okay, so tell me what it is you want to do for Jensen."

"I want him to feel comfortable, that this is his home too."

"Do you know what kinds of things he likes?"

"No, we grew up together, but we were never really hung out together and then when I went off to college, I never really saw him after that, so I have no clue."

" Hmmmmmm. I could always do some research."

"I don't think it'd do you much good," Jared offered.

"Why's that?"

"Well, I was looking up things to kind of help when I came to see you and there were only a couple of sites that offered personal information."

"What did they say?"

"I don't know, I didn't look at them."

"Why not?"

"Because when I find out something, I want it to be because Jensen trusted me enough to tell me. I was looking for listings about his artwork"

"Did you find any? That could help a great deal."

"Oh yeah, I printed off some of the pictures for a show he has coming up," Jared said, reaching for the folder that was sitting on the seat beside him.

He waited while Kristen took her time looking at each picture. When she was finished, she placed them carefully back in the folder.

"You said he was going to be having a show?"

"Yeah, not quite a month from now. Why?"

"I have some clients redoing one of their resorts, and I'm sure they would be interested in a couple of these pieces," Kristen said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I'll check into it after I finish his room for you. I think I've exactly the plan for it, but I'd like to just do it without having to run everything by you, if that would be okay?"

"Is there a particular reason why?" Jared asked. He didn't bother to tell her that he'd learned from experience that he'd gotten the best results by telling people what he needed, telling them money wasn't a problem, and letting them tell him what they thought would work. It was amazing just how creative and innovative people could be when given the opportunity.

"Well for starters, if I have to run everything by you, there's no way we'll make the deadline, not to mention it's my job, and I'm damn good at it."

"Fair enough, and if you need the help, I'll be glad to do whatever needs doing this weekend. I won't be there Friday, but I'll leave one of my friends there so you can get in and out and have help if you need it," Jared offered.

Kristen looked a little taken back by the offer but smiled and nodded, "Sure, if I need some muscle I'll give a yell."

"When did you want to get started?"

"I was hoping it would be okay to check out the space tonight. I want to be able to get through the planning phase tonight and into the material gathering by morning."

"That's fine. I actually cleared everything out of there and the room I think we'll be using as the nursery today. I thought it would make things easier, but I don't expect you to work around the clock either. If you need help, please get it. I'll pay for it," Jared assured.

"Oh, if I need help, I have someone on standby," Kristen said with a mischievous grin.

Jared was a little curious but figured he'd find out if it came down to help showing up since they'd be in his house.

Kristen followed him in her car since neither one wanted to brave the city traffic again.

"Alona did an amazing job as always," Kristen said, looking around at the house and property, the lights surrounding them driving the night away.

Jared had never been a big fan of coming home to a dark house, so he'd asked Alona if she knew anyone in landscaping. The young man that showed up had just inherited the family business from his father who was in poor health. Jared was a little worried that it was a little large for the kid's first solo job but Martino assured him he'd been helping his father for years and after listening to him talk about plants and lights Jared had told him what he wanted and given him free rein.

Two months later the backyard, which had been a little neglected in comparison to the front, continued the same flow of flowering trees and plants. The walkways extended around and a small area had been tastefully set in stone with the seats done in wood to complement the same materials as the outside of the house. Cushions in muted tones of browns, tans and greens lay along the wood seats to make visitors comfortable, but the thing that still amazed Jared and ever other person that came to see him at night were the lights.

Martino had somehow set things up so that as soon as he pulled in a sensor in his driveway would activate the first set of lights. When he punched in the code to his gate, the next set would come on and continue to activate ahead of any vehicle having been triggered by a timing system started at the beginning of the driveway. The lights on the outside of the house were also wired so they came on as his car got to a certain point in the drive. Not only did it make Jared feel a little less lonely but it was a wonderful safety precaution.

Kristen was as awed as everyone else that visited after dark for the first time and wanted the name of his landscaper, which Jared was happy to supply. He gave her a short tour of the house, since she wanted to make sure what she had planned for Jensen's room wouldn't clash with the rest of the decor, not that Jared would have cared one way or the other, if Jensen had liked pink polka dots he'd put them up. Kristen asked who'd done the original decorating and was a little shocked when he told her he'd done it himself.

"I think if you had the time, you'd be able to do it yourself," Kristen said when they were standing outside of the room Jared had chosen to be Jensen's.

"Maybe, but I want to make sure this one is done right. It needs to be perfect."

"No, Jared, it doesn't need to be perfect, it needs to be special. So, that being the case, and the fact that you actually do have taste, I'm going to get everything together tonight, and I want your opinions tomorrow morning before you leave to get married."

"I thought you didn't want to run everything by me?"

"I don't and I won't be, but the more I think about it, the more I'm sure you need to be a big part of making this room what it's going to become. With that in mind, I'll have several choices but your going to decide the final product. Then on Saturday and Sunday you will become my indentured servant," she said with a grin that scared the shit out of him.

Jared groaned, wondering what in the hell his big mouth had gotten him into.

"Don't you worry sweetheart, you're not the only one," Kristen said with that mischievous grin.

Jared gave up after that and ushered her into the room, showing her the little touches that made it different from all the others, like the french doors opening onto it's own balcony where a small table and chair could sit. The room also had a walk in closet as well as an attached bathroom that was actually quite large now that he thought about it.

"Would you like the bathroom redone too?"

"I had forgotten about the bathroom, but if you think we'll have time, that would be great. I'd like it to match whatever we decide to do in here."

"You said you cleaned out the nursery as well. Do you want to do that at a later date?"

"Actually, I'm hoping Jensen will want to do that together," Jared mumbled sheepishly.

Kristen smiled and nodded, "Okay, well let me get home and get started. What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I have to be at my parents house before two so I'll have to leave here by one."

"Okay, so how does ten sound? I want to be able to give you the choices and then I want us to walk through it. I can get everything together while your doing the wedding thing and then, if you don't mind giving me the number for your friend, I can call them when I'm ready to come back to the house. Will you be going to a hotel tonight?"

"Um no," Jared blushed. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, and it was driving him nuts. "I don't want to push him," Jared explained.

"Good decision. I don't know all the details, but it's always a good to take things slow in a new relationship," Kristen agreed.

They walked back downstairs and Jared walked her to her car, promising coffee and breakfast in the morning. He felt a good deal lighter after having met Kristen, getting the rooms cleared and a plan of action in place.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sophia sat on the bed watching Jensen dig through his closet, the pace increasing to a near frantic pawing.

"Jensen what exactly are you looking for?" She finally asked after fifteen minutes of listening to him mumble to himself.

"I don't know what to wear!"

"Wear to what?"

"My wedding," he said, backing his way out of the closet and looking at her exasperated.

"Oh! Well, why didn't you say that to begin with?"

"I thought I did."

"No, you said, and I quote, 'Sophia come over. There's something I need your help with, and I don't know what to put on' end quote, " she said.

"Huh, that was kind of vague," Jensen agreed, shaking his head.

"Well duh. So it's informal, right? I mean, it's going to be just you two, right?"

"It's at his parents house, so I guess they're going to be there as well," Jensen said nervously.

"You know them, right? I mean, you lived there when you were younger, and you were, you know, to Jeff," Sophia motioned with her hand, trying to keep things off painful subjects as much as possible.

"Well, yeah, but now it's even more complicated. I mean, shit Soph, they probably think I'm some kind of whore, jumping into bed with Jared."

"I'm sure they think no such of a thing, and if they do, you be sure to let me know." Sophia's voice carried a certain note that worried the hell out of Jensen.

"How about I not and we all stay out of jail?" Jensen suggested.

"You do what you think is best and so will I," she said smiling with all her teeth on display, which really didn't make him feel any better.

"Sophia, honestly, just help me find something to wear, and then I still have to start packing and I need to finish those canvases...."

"Stop right now before you have a stroke or something. I'll help you find something to wear, and then we'll work on packing. Did you ask Jared about the moving thing?"

"Yeah, he called this afternoon and said he'd have a moving van come by Sunday to pick everything up. We're going to come here after the wedding, and he's going to help me finish packing. There's a place he stores furniture and things where I can leave what I'm not taking right now, until I decide what to do with them."

"Okay, so it's not imperative that you get everything done tonight so sit down and take a breath," Sophia said, grabbing his hand and yanking him down beside her.

"I know I'm just worried I'm being stupid and everything is changing so fast. I mean Jeff, and then I'm pregnant, not that I would change being pregnant," he rushed to clarify. "It's just huge, I mean, a little person, that I'm going to be responsible for and then there's Jared who wants more, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give him that."

"Exactly what does he want?" Sophia asked, perplexed. She'd known Jensen was keeping something back, maybe more than one something.

"He wants our marriage to be traditional. He told me the night we went to dinner that he doesn't just want to marry me because of the baby, that he wants us to be together."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I didn't know if I'd ever want to be with him that way. That the baby might be the only thing that we ever had together," Jensen confessed.

"Did he get mad?"

"No, he said he understood, but he was willing to take that chance and he would wait," Jensen sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Is that what your worried about? Not ever feeling the same way," Sophia asked.

He shrugged, looking down at the sleeve of his shirt. There was a hole in it, and he kept picking at it, making it bigger. He didn't know how to explain that he was terrified that he just might eventually feel the same way, and that every time he even thought about it, the stabbing guilt he felt left him sick and depressed. He'd loved Jeff, that wasn't something he'd ever questioned, but thinking about the baby he carried now made him think about what would have happened if his life with Jeff had come to fruition.

He'd always known he wanted a family, being an only child had been lonely. When his mother had taken the job with the Padaleckis and he'd met Jeff, they'd clicked and it'd been like having a brother. Jensen was nothing if not honest with himself. Jeff would have wanted a family eventually, but not as soon as he himself would have. He was positive they would have compromised. They'd always been very good at that, but in a way, he was happy he didn't have to, and that just made him feel like a bastard.

"Maybe, I don't know. I think I'm still suffering from caffeine withdrawals," he complained.

" Aww, poor baby," Sophia said, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"I know, it's worth it, but I miss it." He was well aware he was close to whining.

"Okay, how about this? We find you something to wear, run down to the shop and get some chocolate, it's got a little caffeine and then we'll do a little packing."

"Fine, but I don't have anything."

"What are you wearing to the show?"

"The same thing I'm wearing to the shelter opening, and I'm not wearing it to my wedding," Jensen pouted.

"Why not?"

"Number one, I'm not wearing the same thing to three events, and number two, that's a dark suit, and I'm not going to wear it to my wedding."

"Wasn't the other suit black you were wearing to… you know?"

"Yes, and that was a compromise, and I don't want to for this one." Jensen grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Okay, okay. Did you ask Jared if it was dressy or casual when you talked to him?"

"Yeah, he said it was up to me. I told him casual would be nice. I just didn't think about the fact that all my clothes are either way too casual or for, like, shows. I don't have anything in between," he sighed.

"Awesome!"

"Why the hell is that awesome?"

"Because we get to go shopping and stop cussing in front of the baby," Sophia reprimanded.

"Dam.... crap, I keep forgetting. I've been doing pretty good but every now and then, I'll slip. Do we really have to go shopping? You know how much I hate it?" Jensen was full on whining now, and he didn't even care.

"Yes, but I promise chocolate first, and we won't be gone long. I know you get tired easy," she said, grabbing her bag and pulling him up off the bed.

"Fine, let me get my phone." Jensen slid off the bed, heading for the living room.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday morning and Jared was up before the sun. He'd gotten less than four hours of sleep because his stomach was tied in knots. He was getting married today, unless Jensen backed out. He was ready to beat his head against the wall for ever letting Chad set the appointment so late in the afternoon. They should have done it at nine am. That way, he'd have less time to freak out. He'd put on a pot of coffee and started flipping through the different links on pregnancy, looking to see what stage the baby was at. He'd become obsessed with knowing exactly where in its development his child was.

Jensen was almost six weeks, which meant the arms and legs were starting to develop and the baby would start moving them soon. The heart was starting to do its thing and the tongue and vocal cords were starting to make an appearance, something he was sure he'd be regretting if the kid turned out to be anything like him. Jared finally logged off the baby site and checked his email, both personal and work. When he glanced at the clock, he was happy to see it was seven. He made his way to the gym and wasted another hour working out some of his stress, grabbed a shower, and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, putting a fresh pot of coffee on so that it would be ready by the time Kristen arrived.

Jared was in the middle of making the pancakes when the buzzer for the gate went off. He hit the security feed, making sure it was Kristen, and buzzed her through, taking the food off the burners before heading for the front door to let her in. She was standing there with boxes and bags full of... he wasn't completely sure what they were full of but they were spilling over, so he grabbed an armful and dropped them on the sofa. Kristen following his lead and dropped the packages she was carrying as well.

"I had no idea what you wanted to eat, but personally, I like a big breakfast. If you're one of those 'I only want fruit' people, then there's some fresh melons, strawberries and grapes in the refrigerator," Jared said.

"While fruit is a wonderful snack, I'm all for the big breakfast. What are we eating?" Kristen said, plopping down in at the breakfast nook.

"I made pancakes, sausage, bacon, toast and eggs. There's coffee in the pot and fresh juice in the refrigerator if you'll grab it while I get the plates."

"Do you always cook like this in the morning?"

"Not really. Usually, I'll cook an omelet or something if I'm off, if not, then I grab something on my way to work. I think there's going to be some changes made though, so I may get more use out of my kitchen now," Jared said, sliding into his seat and pouring them both a glass of juice.

Once they finished eating, they took all the samples and swatches and color schemes and spread them out on the desk. Kristen started with the walls, and they worked their way through everything. The floors would stay hardwood but Kristen already knew the best places to find amazing throw rugs to pull everything together. Jared had picked a pale sage green for the walls and the trim was being done in a shade of cream that made the walls warm and inviting.

The furniture that he picked was mesquite to blend with the rest of the house but it reminded him of driftwood you'd find on the beach, the color shifting and changing throughout the pieces but yet looking comfortable and homey. He made sure the mattress would have the support Jensen would need for his back, going so far as to call his doctor's office and explain who he was, and what he needed, which they were happy to provide once they realized he wasn't asking for confidential information that Jensen hadn't okayed the release of. All the furniture was to be delivered on Sunday morning along with a set of outdoor overstuffed chairs with footstools in light beige and a small table for the balcony.

Jared couldn't decide on a color for the bathroom, so Kristen helped him pick a complimenting green with just a hint of blue to carry into the other room the trim staying the same as the bedroom to give a form of continuity. She decided she wasn't going to put too much on the walls in case Jensen had any pictures he wished to hang, but she'd put enough up that the room would still have a completed feel, the same went for knick knacks. Jared did ask that she place some candles around the room, since he had noticed a large number in Jensen's home when he visited.

Kristen got Chad's number before leaving and Jared shut the door, heading back up the stairs to get dressed for his wedding.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sophia really hadn't planned to spend the night, but by the time they finished shopping and packed several boxes, she was worn out. She didn't have to work until one and Jensen and given in to pacing instead of painting. It'd taken her until after midnight to get him wound down enough to try and sleep, and only after she promised she'd be there in the morning.

Jensen stumbled into the living room well after ten, rubbing sleep from his eyes and trying his best not to let the smell of whatever Sophia had cooking send him running to the bathroom. He was so tired of starting his day bent over the toilet he didn't know what to do.

"Hey," he mumbled, sitting in the seat furthest from the stove.

"Hey, I'm cooking bacon and eggs you want any?" Sophia turned around when she didn't get an answer. Jensen was so pale she was positive he'd give Casper a run for his money.

"Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry, I forgot you and food don't get along," she said, hitting the fan over the stove and reaching to open the window over the sink.

"It's okay, I'll be able to eat again one of these days," he gave a half-hearted smile.

"I was thinking last night," she paused as she pulled the eggs off the burner.

"That's never a good thing," Jensen smirked, grabbing a carton of juice out of the refrigerator and pouring two cups while he put a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster.

"Shut it, I haven't heard you say anything about Jared's house."

"That's because I've never been there."

"You've never been there? Why not?"

"I don't know. I mean Jeff was always busy and Jared was out of town a lot. He always came over to Jeff's, or they went to their parents house." Jensen shrugged, putting a small amount of butter on each slice of toast and hoping the baby would let him have just a little bit of taste with his bland.

"Oh, well then okay," she said, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Why is that a problem?"

"Well no, I just know what a big deal you said finding this place was...." she trailed off.

"Oh God, I hadn't even thought about it. He probably lives in some modern glass and steel mausoleum," Jensen cringed thinking about it.

"You know you might be surprised. I mean, Jeff lived on the beach," Sophia said, trying to backtrack. She didn't think it was going to freak Jensen out, she'd just been curious.

"I don't know if I can live someplace like that. I mean, there's no feeling to it. It's cold."

"Jensen, you don't know what it looks like yet. Stop stressing. Besides, if you don't like it, I'm sure he'll have no problem redecorating."

"Why would he do something like that?" Jensen asked, perplexed.

Sophia grinned, proud of herself for heading off the panic attack that had been just around the corner.

"Well, obviously he wants you to be happy, and if his house makes you miserable, he'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

Jensen opened his mouth to tell her she'd lost her mind, but then closed it, not entirely sure she was wrong. Jared did want this to be more than just a name only relationship, and he wasn't sure how far he'd go to accomplish it.

"That may be so, but I'd never take advantage of that."

"I know that, but I'm sure you'll be able to find a compromise. Don't you?"

Jensen sighed, knowing she was right. Everything was setting him off today. He'd be glad when the wedding was over, and he'd actually settled in at Jared's, that way maybe they'd finally be able to get into some kind of normal routine. The constant ups and downs of uncertainty were starting to wear him down.

"You know, there's something else I've been wondering about but I don't know how to bring it up," Jensen said, picking at a spot of paint on his fingernail.

"What's that?" Sophia asked.

"Jared hasn't said anything about a prenup."

"Okay, is it because you want one, or you think he wants one?"

"He's got a lot of money. Wouldn't you think he'd want to protect himself? I think it'd be kind of important, but he hasn't said anything about it."

"What exactly is he supposed to be protecting himself from? You?" Sophia asked, frowning.

"Yes, I mean, no. You know what I mean."

"No, I really don't," Sophia said as she walked into the living room to start picking up her overnight stuff and packing it in her bag. She had to get home soon so she could shower and change for work.

"I could divorce him and take half his money or ruin his reputation or something," Jensen said, trailing behind her, looking lost until she gently pushed him onto the sofa.

"Jensen, you'd never do either of those things."

"Well no, but I could. That's the whole point."

"Honey, you don't have a point," she said, bending down and kissing him on the forehead. "Now why don't you go on upstairs, take a shower, and get dressed? Then you can get to Jared's parents house a little early."

"Why do I need to get there early? I'm already going a little early so I can talk to his parents."

"So you can ask Jared about the prenup, but I bet you he tells you the same thing I did.

Jensen scowled at her as she made her way to the door.

"You know, that's not very attractive, and it gives you wrinkles," she said without turning around.

Jensen crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

"Your face is going to stick like that and then even Jared's not going to be able to look at you," Sophia said right before the door shut behind her.

"How does she do that shi. .... crap?" Jensen grumbled to himself as he walked to his bedroom to shower and change.

He figured if he hurried, he might be able to catch Jared before he got inside his parents house, and they could have the prenup discussion in private. He should have brought it up before now, but he'd really thought Jared would have done it. Surely, the man would want to protect everything he'd worked so hard for.

Jared waited as long as he could before nerves finally drove him to his parents. He'd told his mom he'd get there around two, but it was more like one when he pulled into their garage. He let himself in the side door and walked towards the sound of voices, hoping to find his parents. What he found was several people in varying degrees of food, floral and decoration preparation and cleanup.

"Mom?" Jared raised his voice a little to be heard over the different conversations being carried on in the kitchen.

Sherri came around the corner a look of surprise on her face, "Hey sweetheart, you're early."

She pulled him down so she could give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Sherri pulled back, looking him over making him feel like he was thirteen years old and going to his first middle school dance.

"You look very nice. I think I like the casual look much better," she said, nodding her head with her words.

Jared had chosen to wear a pair of soft black pants with a button down long sleeve shirt in a light blue. He'd decided against the tie, leaving the top couple of buttons open at the neck.

"So what's going on in the kitchen?" he asked his mom as she led him through the house.

"Jared, just because you and Jensen are moving things along rather quickly doesn't mean your wedding can't be nice," she reasoned.

Jared just shook his head. He really should have been prepared for her to do something like this. There was no way he was going to get away with just simply standing in the living room and reciting his vows. He just needed to warn Jensen and hope he didn't freak out.

"Okay, okay," Jared laughed. "Show me what else you've done," he said, grinning at her attempts to look innocent.

"What makes you think I've done anything else?"

"Because I've yet to see dad, so either you have him out running last minute errands, or he's hiding, maybe both."

"Your father does not hide," she scolded, ruining the effect by giggling as she led him out the back door and down the path.

The closer they came to the pool Jared could make out the gazebo, or what used to be the gazebo. At the moment, it had been draped with fabric, turning it into an enclosed space. Jared reached out and ran his hand over the material and found it was a heavy canvass that he figured would help keep the cold out and heat in, and he could feel heat coming from inside so someone must have thought to use some type of space heater for the inside.

The canvas, while functional, was actually pleasant to look at. It was cream with silver strands worked in at varying intervals. The sun would catch the little spots of silver and reflect them, making the color dance and shimmer. He pulled back the drapes and moved inside. It was nice and cozy inside without being hot. He had no idea where the heaters were hidden at, but they were doing a great job. His mother had set up a simple area with silver candle holders arranged in a semi circle. There was fresh ivy twining its way up the holders and the candles were a deep burgundy. There was also a small podium for the justice of the peace to put his papers.

"Do you like it?" Sherri asked biting her lip.

"It's beautiful mom," Jared said around the lump in his throat.

"Well, it's not quite finished, but I couldn't let the two of you start out your life together without it being special," she said.

As they were standing there, several people from the kitchen rushed past them with baskets trimmed in silver accents. They were overflowing with flowers in burgundy and cream, nestled in deep green foliage. They seemed to just set them down in random spots all around the floor and railings, but when they left, the gazebo seemed to come to life.

"I'm going to have them set up a few tables," Sherri said, pointing toward the back of the gazebo, "that way, we can all sit and have a proper supper before you two boys leave to go where ever."

"Thanks mom. You didn't have to do all this, but it's wonderful," Jared said as he kissed the top of her head. "We're not going anywhere, just back to Jensen's to get some packing done. I don't want him lifting a bunch of stuff he's got no business lifting, and this is the only way I know to keep an eye on him."

"Why don't you do that next week? Take the weekend and get to know each other again," Sherri objected.

"Mom, it's going to take me longer than a weekend to get to know Jensen the way I want to. To be honest with you, we're both tired of the upheaval. I'd rather get the moving out of the way, so we can get settled into something more normal. Besides, you're not the only one doing some redecorating this weekend," Jared confessed.

"What have you been up to?" His mom asked.

"I'm working on redoing the guest room. I don't want to rush Jensen into anything he's not ready for, but I didn't want him staying in a generic room either, so I hired a decorator to help me get the room ready this weekend. It should be ready for him to move in on Monday. He's got some things to do this weekend for a show he has coming up and a thing with a center I'm not sure what exactly that's about, but I plan on finding out about that later, so I'll have plenty of time to help Kristen get the room done."

"Are you doing the nursery or just his room?"

"Just his room. I'm hoping he'll want to do the nursery together," Jared answered.

Sherri patted his cheek. "See I told your daddy, I didn't raise no fools."

"Not what you were saying couple of nights ago," Jared mumbled.

"Oh, I didn't say you weren't an idiot sometimes, but you're definitely not a fool," she smiled as she heard a car pull into the drive.

"Well, let's go see if that's your father," she said, moving back down the path towards the house.

They entered the house expecting to see Jerry somewhere in the kitchen or the living room, but he was in neither place. Jared's question was quickly cut off by the doorbell ringing.

"I'll get it," Jared said, making his way to the front door.

He wasn't exactly sure who he was expecting to find when he pulled the door open, but it certainly wasn't Jensen. Especially standing there biting his lip and rocking back and forth on his heels like he was trying to decide whether to cut his loses and run or not.

Jared knew he was staring, but he couldn't really help it. He finally managed to get his brain to function long enough to invite Jensen into the house and shut the door. He took a couple of seconds before turning around to gulp in a few deep breaths. Jensen was wearing a pair of cream pants with a long sleeve shirt in a pale green, his hair was a little longer than he usually wore it and Jared wondered if he even realized he'd forgotten to get it cut.

It took him a minute to realize that Jensen was studying him just as closely as he was studying Jensen. The thought made him smile just a little.

Jensen shook his head. He'd always know Jared's dimples were dangerous and he couldn't afford to be distracted right now, but before he could say anything Jared broke the silence.

"You look very nice," Jared complimented.

Jensen looked down at his clothes, a pale blush running along his cheeks.

"Thanks, Sophia helped me pick it out."

"Sophia?"

"She's one of my friends. She works at a bakery/sandwich shop I found. You have to try it sometime. They have the best chocolate chip muffins and the coffee, the coffee is to die for," Jensen finished somewhat mournfully.

"You'll have to introduce us. She's got great taste."

"She really does, although I picked out the shirt. I kind of like green," Jensen confessed.

"Oh, thank God," Jared said under his breath.

"What?"

"I said, I meant she had good taste being your friend."

"Oh," Jensen said, blushing again.

"I need to tell you something, and I hope you won't get upset," Jared said, not entirely sure how to approach his mom's surprise.

Jensen just looked at him for a minute, "I doubt I'll get upset, just tell me what it is."

"Okay, how about we sit down though," Jared said. He sat on the sofa and waited until Jensen had taken a seat on the other end.

"Mom decided she wanted today to be special for us, so she did a little something," Jared paused as Jensen's face went pale.

"Jensen, are you okay?"

"Yea. What did she do?" Jensen asked weakly.

"She just decorated some, and she wants us to have a nice supper with her and dad," Jared finished tentatively.

"Oh," Jensen replied, some of the color returning to his face, "That's sweet."

"What were you afraid she'd done?" Jared asked curiously.

"Invited like a 100 people," Jensen whispered sheepishly.

Jared snorted, "Well I'm sure given enough time, she could have pulled that off too, but a day and a half isn't much time to work with even for her."

"Yeah, I guess not," Jensen smiled at Jared's obvious glee over his mother's antics.

"Hey um... I wanted to ask you something. I should have asked you before now, but I thought you'd have brought it up, and then you didn't but it's been bothering me." Jensen was well aware he was rambling and was grateful when Jared broke in.

"What did you want to know?"

"Well, you've not said anything about a prenuptial agreement, and I just thought with everything you had, it would be something you'd want to do," Jensen said hesitantly.

"Would you be more comfortable if you had one?" Jared asked.

"Why would I need one?" Jensen's brow furrowed.

"You are an artist Jensen, and while I don't know what you make from the sales of your work now, I can only imagine that over time your popularity will grow," Jared explained.

"No, I don't think I need a prenup. I don't have anything of value. You, on the other hand, have a great deal to lose, and I can't believe you haven't given it some thought or been advised by some well meaning lawyer somewhere on having one signed."

"Oh, I've been told several times over the last two days exactly what they thought of my decision. The fact remains, I don't want one nor do I believe I need one," Jared stated matter of factly.

"What makes you think I won’t take you for everything I can get my hands on?"

"Because I've known you most of my life Jensen."

"People change Jared," Jensen stated stubbornly.

Jared leaned over and took Jensen chin in his hand. He wanted Jensen to be looking him in the eye, "Yes people do, but you haven't."

Jensen just stared at him incredulously.

Jared pulled back and waited for Jensen to say something. When he just continued to stare, Jared decided now was a good as time as any to address the other issue he needed to talk to him about.

"Look, I know we don't agree on what we want this marriage to be right now, and I know you may not want to, and if you don't I understand, but I'd like you to think about something," Jared said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small black box.

Jensen knew what it was, he just didn't know what to do. Jared had every right to expect and to want him to wear his ring. They were going to be married after all. He just didn't know if he could do it without being eaten alive by guilt. The warm round metal that lay against his chest was a reminder of what he'd had and lost. Jensen looked up at Jared, could read the hope in his eyes, and couldn't bring himself to crush it. He couldn't lie either.

"Jared, I'd be honored to wear your ring, but I need you to know this first before you open the box," Jensen said as he reached up and unbuttoned one of the top buttons of his shirt and pulled a chain free from the neck of his shirt. There at the end of the chain was a single gold wedding band.

"I haven't taken this off since the funeral," Jensen said looking up at Jared. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to take it off. I'll wear your ring and I'll be just as proud of it as I would have been to put this one on my finger, but I needed you to know that I still wear this one." Jensen said, tucking it back in his shirt.

Jared swallowed around the lump in his throat. He had to wonder, briefly, if he was crazy for trying to compete with the ghost of his brother, but one look at the man in front of him answered that question without more than a second’s thought. "Jeff's ring?"

Jensen seemed to know he wasn't asking about the ring around his neck, but rather the ring that Jeff would have worn. "I did the same with his. Your mom said it was okay."

Jared reached over and squeezed Jensen's hand, "Of course it was okay, I just didn't remember seeing it. I didn't mean to worry you."

Jensen breathed a sigh of relief and some of the tension that had tightened his shoulders relaxed. He was still waiting for Jared to decide if he could live with it though.

"I'm not going to lie either. I know you loved Jeff, still love him, and I hope one day you can move forward. I'm willing to take that chance, and I'm willing to wait for you to be ready," Jared said as he opened the box. Inside lay two thick gold bands. They each had a polished finish with a strip of satin that ran down the middle, giving the metal a warm feeling surrounded by the glow of the polished sections. Jensen reached out and ran his finger gently over one the rings, warm from being cradled in Jared's pocket.

(http://s294.photobucket.com/albums/mm112/angels3679/?action=view&current=ring.jpg - ring)

"How do you know what size I wear?"

"I'm just good that way," Jared said refusing to give up his secrets.

Jensen quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Jared honey, who was at the door?" Sherri asked coming into the sitting area.

"Oh Jensen, I didn't know you were here!" She exclaimed.

"Hey, Mrs. Padalecki, I just needed to talk to Jared about a couple of things," Jensen said as he stood up.

Jared followed his actions, standing and waiting for his mom to make the next move.

"Jensen sweetheart, how many times have I told you to call me Sherri?" She said, taking his face in her hands and pulling him down so she could kiss his cheek.

"A few," Jensen admitted sheepishly.

"That's right, and while it'd make me even happier for you to call me mom, I'll settle for Sherri right now," she said, taking her hand and pulling him down to sit beside her.

"Jared, I think your father is finished hiding and needs some help out back," Sherri said with a smile and a wink.

Jared gave her a dimpled smile, and tried to ignore the terrified look Jensen shot him. He made a hasty retreat, leaving a nervous Jensen behind. He really wanted to tell him that everything would be okay and that there wasn't anything to worry about, but he figured a few minutes with his mom would work a whole lot better than him just saying it.

"Now Jensen, stop looking like I'm going to yell at you. I know Jared has told you that both his father and I understand what happened and why. I wish we could have all been spared losing Jeff, but I'm very happy that you're still going to be a part of our family."

Jensen didn't really know what to say, and he didn't think he could really say it with the lump clogging his throat, so he just squeezed her hand and nodded his head.

"Now tell me, how have you been feeling?" Sherri asked.

Jensen blinked at her at the quick shift in topic. It took him a second to realize she was asking about his pregnancy and another for him to understand she didn't want him dwelling on sad memories on his wedding day.

"I've been a little tired, mostly just keeping close company with the toilet," he said before he could catch himself.

Sherri laughed at the absolutely mortified look on his face, "Honey, there's nothing you can say that I haven't gone through myself. Believe me when I say I honestly understand everything you're going through and will go through except for the whole macho aspect of the pregnancy."

"I know, but I could have worded that so much better," Jensen whispered, blushing.

"You do realize I'm not as easily shocked as you think I am?" she said with a grin.

"I think I'm beginning to find that out," Jensen said, smiling back.

Jared came back to the house thirty minutes later and found his mother and Jensen still talking. The atmosphere, however, was relaxed and both of them were smiling. He was so relieved to see some of the tension that Jensen had been carrying no longer a part of his demeanor, he hated to interrupt.

"Hey, the justice of the peace is here," he told them.

"Is he ready?" Jensen asked, standing and holding out his hand to help Sherri off the sofa.

"He said give him just a few minutes. He wanted to go over the paperwork and the ceremony. He said he doesn't get to do them as often as he once did."

"Well, that's fine," Sherri said, "Why don't we find your father so Jensen can say hello before the magistrate is ready?"

"He's in the kitchen trying to sneak some of the sausage rolls," Jared tattled.

"I heard that," Jerry said as he walked up behind his son and flicked his ear.

"Ow!"

Jensen covered his mouth, trying to hide the laugh threatening to break loose.

"Oh, you think it's funny do you? That's okay, when you're sitting there waiting for supper and it's all gone, it won't be so funny then, will it?" Jared mourned, still rubbing his ear.

Jerry walked over and wrapped an arm around Jensen's shoulder, guiding him into the kitchen. "He's a big baby. I swear, sometimes I wonder how he ever survived his childhood," he said loudly enough that Jared could hear him.

"That's okay, mama loves me more anyway," Jared yelled from the sitting room.

Jensen finally lost it, laughing so hard he had tears running down his face.

"Did I also mention he's a mama's boy," Jerry responded to his son's comment.

Jensen had just about stopped laughing but lost it all over again. When he was finally able to breath again, Jerry had set a small plate of finger food in front of him and a cup of water. Jensen was a little confused and it must have been written on his face because Jerry just laughed and took a drink from his own glass.

"I remember Sherri being sick a lot. I figured you didn't eat very much this morning," he explained.

Jensen ducked his head. He didn't really know how to deal with all the concern Jared's parents were showing him. It wasn’t that they hadn't done the same thing when he was younger, but he was an adult, and his mom had been gone for over two years now, so he'd just gotten used to not having that in his life.

"Thanks. I had a couple of pieces of toast that decided to stay with me, and even with the nerves, I am a little hungry," he admitted.

"Well, go ahead and eat then. Otherwise, Jared will be in here trying to steal off your plate."

Jared showed up in the kitchen twenty minutes later to find his dad and Jensen discussing the merits of job training and education for young adults. He was slightly confused by the choice of topic but decided he'd question one of them about it later. Right now, the gentleman was ready to do the ceremony and he was about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Mom says it's time for us to get out back," Jared said, reaching across his dad and sneaking a sausage roll.

"See what I mean?" Jerry told Jensen.

Jensen snickered when Jared stuck his tongue out at his dad's back.

"Jared, you do realize I can see your reflection right?" Jerry asked.

"Gotta go," Jared said, rushing out of the room.

Jerry turned around shaking his head, "I swear that boy never grew up. I don't know why everyone thinks he's such a hard ass to deal with."

"I think you see a completely different side to him than everyone else does," Jensen answered as they made their way through the house and out the back door.

When they rounded the corner and Jensen got his first glimpse of the gazebo, he came to an abrupt halt. Jerry put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "She wanted you and Jared to have something special."

Jensen looked over at his soon to be father-in-law and swallowed around the emotion lodged in his throat. "I know, I just didn't realize she'd done this much."

"Son, you don't have a clue what that woman's capable of. I hope your stomach can handle flowers and candles."

"They haven't been a problem so far," Jensen answered, bewildered.

He understood when he moved the cloth aside and entered the covered gazebo. Sherri had turned it into a simple but beautiful space. The candles were lit and the flowers, while fragrant, weren't overpowering. The colors were rich and vibrant and Jensen's fingers itched for a paintbrush. Jared was talking to the justice of the peace, and he could see the small box sitting on the edge of the stand that answered the question of how they would be doing the rings.

Jensen moved forward to meet the man that would be marrying them, Jared introducing the justice of the peace as Jonas. They discussed which ceremony they were using, and what they needed to do. When Jonas was satisfied everything was covered and all was ready, he announced they could start. The ceremony was short, only fifteen minutes. When it came to the exchanging of rings, Jonas held the box so each of them could take their turn. Jensen's hands were shaking so bad, he had no idea how he got the ring on Jared's finger. When it came time for Jared to put the ring on his, Jared took his hand in one of his steadying it, before his slid the ring on with the other.

There was an awkward moment when Jonas told them they could kiss, neither of them having thought about that part until it was too late. Jared, while disappointed, wasn't prepared to push Jensen on the matter, but Jensen leaned forward just a little so Jared met him halfway. Their lips touched for just mere seconds, but it was enough to have Jared fighting his body for control. When he pulled back and opened his eyes, he met the slightly dazed eyes of Jensen. Jonas broke the spell by pronouncing them married and congratulating them.

While Jerry escorted Jonas out, Jensen made sure he told Sherri how much he appreciated the effort she had put into making their day special and just how beautiful everything was. Jerry returned, followed shortly by several people carrying heaping platters of food, which they carried to the tables at the far end of the gazebo. Jensen hadn't even noticed the tables until someone lit several hurricane lamps set along the length of them. The servers made several trips. The last thing they carried in was a small three-tier wedding cake with two small grooms sitting on top.

Jensen was fighting the urge to cry, his emotions slightly out of whack thanks to the surge of hormones that would attack him at unexpected times. It wasn’t entirely unexpected for them to creep up on him at this particular moment, but still they made him uncomfortable in his own skin.

"You really didn't have to do all this. I appreciate it all and it's absolutely beautiful, but to just have you accept me was enough," Jensen told his in-laws.

"Jensen we accepted you the moment you stepped foot in our house. You just have a piece of paper telling you what we've been saying for years," Sherri said, wrapping her hand around his and squeezing quickly before releasing it. "Now eat. You look like you'd blow away if a good wind blew."

Jared gave him a sympathetic look. "Better do what she says. She won't stop fussing until you do."

"Good thing some of us listen then, huh?" Jensen joked.

"Hey, I listen!" Jared exclaimed in mock outrage.

"Oh yeah, I remember how well you listen. I recall someone being told not to go out when they were grounded, and I remember how well that turned out."

"It would have turned out just fine if someone hadn't gotten up during the night and locked the door."

"How was I supposed to know it was unlocked for a reason? I was worried someone would come in and murder us in our sleep," Jensen said as he forked a piece of steak into his mouth and moaned at the taste.

Jared's train of thought was completely derailed at the unexpected noise coming from Jensen. He couldn't take his eyes off the obvious delight the food was causing Jensen. However, watching the man lick his lips, swallow his food, and wrap his lips around the edge of his glass was about to drive him insane. His parents, thank all that was holy, were oblivious to his plight, and Jensen was too wrapped up in his foodgasm to catch on.

His parents finally did him a favor without realizing it, and distracted Jensen from licking his fork, by asking if he'd like to cut the cake. Good thing too because Jared was seriously considering jumping the table and doing something completely unforgivable if he had to watch that pink tongue flick out one more time and lick the tines or run along those pouty lips to get all the sauce off them. Then again, when he saw the look Jensen was giving the cake he might have relaxed too soon.

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Jared was happy to see that Jensen was eating and didn't seem to be getting sick. He'd asked him how the morning sickness had been over the last couple of days and Jensen had told him morning, noon and night didn't classify as morning sickness, but the nights had started to get better so he was hopeful that the noon's would follow and then, if he were really lucky, the mornings would be a thing of the past as well. Jared hoped he was right. He was well aware from all the reading he'd done that the baby would be taking the nutrients it needed from Jensen, since there was very little that he'd been able to keep in his system for the baby to use.

Jensen wasn't really sure how his first night of marriage dissolved into a fight albiet it just a verbal disagreement, but the sense of deja vu that gave him sent cold shivers up his spine, but he wasn't giving in. He understood Jared's reasoning. He was tired, and they had left later than planned, but he had a lot of packing left to do and he had spent less than three hours painting in the last two days. He still had canvases to finish, plus he had one more he wanted to do. Jared had finally caved and was following him home in his own car, which gave Jensen time to get the trembling in his hands to stop and the terror he knew was lurking behind his eyes hidden.

He pulled into his driveway, cursing at the darkness surrounding his house. He could have sworn he'd left the porch light on. Of course, the light could have blown, but he was pretty good about changing them every month to make sure that didn't happen. Jensen figured he had been pretty distracted lately. He climbed out of the car and popped the trunk, reaching in to get the box of food Jared's mom had sent home with him.

"Jensen let me get that," Jared said, climbing out of his car.

"I can lift a box of food you know."

"Yes, but if I have the box you can get your key in the lock. Did you forget to leave the light on?"

"I thought I'd flipped the switch, but I was preoccupied so it's possible, and we didn't think it'd be this late when we got back anyway," Jensen said, shrugging.

They walked up the path and Jensen fumbled with the key, finally getting the door open and moving out of the way so Jared could get inside. He tried the switch and nothing happened so he reached up and twisted the bulb, intending to take it out, but when he moved it, the light flickered on. Jensen frowned at the bulb and started turning it the other way the light coming on and staying on.

"Was it blown?" Jared asked, coming up behind him making him jump a little.

"No just loose. It's never done that before," he said, frowning.

"Well it's weird, but I guess it can happen," Jared said, looking at the light.

Jared looked around while Jensen finished tightening the light. He was a little surprised that there were as many boxes packed as there were. Jensen had told him over supper that Sophia had stayed over and helped him pack, something else he needed to make sure to thank her for when they were introduced. Jensen disappeared into the kitchen to stow the food in the refrigerator and Jared decided now would be a great opportunity to poke around a little.

Jensen seemed to have the oddest collection of things on his shelves. There were the usual candles and pictures, of course, but there were the items that would only have meaning to their collector. A small wooden box engraved with beautiful symbols and pictures particularly intrigued Jared. It had a small blue feather, a lock of hair tied with a small strip of leather, a smooth black stone, a tiny dried flower and several other items in it. He snatched his hand back when he heard Jensen come back into the room, pretending he'd been looking at the rather impressive collection of books that sat behind all the knick knacks.

"You like to read?" Jensen asked.

"Yes, even though I do more than enough of it for my job, I like to read when I have the chance."

"Hmm."

Jared wasn't sure why that was important, but he felt like he'd passed a test and couldn't help but smile.

"Well, where would you like to start?" he asked, grabbing a box and the packing tape.

"How about I start wrapping the breakables, and you start with the books?" Jensen suggested.

They spent the next three hours talking about books and movies as they packed Jensen's belongings. They finished with the living room, marking which boxes went to storage and which were going to the house. Once they got to the kitchen, Jensen asked what he had in his and when Jared explained he had a full setup, everything they packed was marked for storage. The only rooms left were the bathroom, bedroom and the extra room which Jensen used to paint in.

Jared suggested Jensen pick out a few outfits he'd need and set them aside, and then he'd help him get the rest packed up before calling it a night. Jensen disappeared into his room and Jared took the bathroom, packing up the extra towels and sundries that one tended to overbuy when things were on sale. He glanced down at his watch and realized it was almost eleven, not believing it was so late. He finished taping up the box he was working on and knocked on the bedroom door.

Jensen was pulling items out of his closet and laying them across his bed. Jared watched him work for a minute before he knocked a little louder and cleared his throat.

"Hey, let me help you get the closet finished, and then you can go to bed okay?"

"We can finish the room if you want to," Jensen offered.

"Its been a long day, you need your sleep, and I still have to drive home. I can come over on Sunday and help you finish up."

"I'm not tired," Jensen lied, as a yawn caught him by surprise.

"Sure you're not," Jared grinned at him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was after midnight before Jared made it to his house, their house, he mentally corrected, smiling at the thought. He had to threaten to hide Jensen's paint brushes to get him to stop packing and admit he was tired, even though he could hardly keep his eyes open and yawned every ten seconds. He had made sure Jensen was on his way to bed before he turned off the lights and checked the doors. He let himself out never knowing that someone watched from the shadows.

Jared headed straight for the kitchen. He wanted a glass of ice cold water and a hot shower before he crashed face first into the bed. There was a note on the refrigerator door from Kristen letting him know the progress for the day. He was happy to see that she'd been able to get all the materials they needed, and that she'd even been able to get the bedroom and bathroom primered before she left. She also warned him she'd be over bright and early, and since it was well after eleven when she left and he wasn't home, she'd bring breakfast. The smiley face at the bottom included horns and Jared could picture the manic smile she was wearing when she drew it.

He finished his glass of water and dragged himself up the stairs and into his room, stripping out of his jeans and t - shirt he'd changed into at Jensen's. He took a quick shower washing his hair to get out the dust and cobwebs. There was at least one thing he'd learned tonight, that while Jensen kept things neat and tidy, he apparently despised dusting. Not that he cared much for it either. Hell, that's why he had Caroline come in once a week to do his.

Now that he thought about it, he needed to see about getting her to come more than once a week. He wasn't a slob but he didn't want Jensen to feel overwhelmed, with the house being so much bigger, not that he expected Jensen to clean but he had a feeling getting Jensen to listen at times would be like beating your head against a brick wall. He decided he'd call Caroline in the morning. Unfortunately, the brain activity had woken him up enough that now he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

He threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. Jared grabbed his sweat pants off the end of the bed and pulled them on before making his way down the hall to Jensen's room. He opened the door and flipped on the light. The room, while clearly far from being done, already excited Jared. There was blue tape everywhere to create a clean line and the wall sockets had been removed. He poked his head into the bathroom and it had received the same treatment. The primer Kristen had used was very light. She hadn't really thought they'd need one because the walls had been a light blue and it was going to be a pale sage, but she didn't want to take the chance, so she'd done a light one to be on the safe side.

Jared ran a finger lightly over one of the walls, happy to see it was already dry. Looked like they'd get to do the painting tomorrow, or rather later today, he thought yawning. He shut the light off and opened the door to the nursery. It had all the supplies stored in it at the moment, and he looked at the cans of paint. There was a dot on top to show the color after it had been mixed, and the sage had been a good choice. Jared looked around the room different colors and pictures kaleidoscopic in his head of what the nursery would look like when it was completed. It gave him a warm happy feeling but there was another one there in the background he couldn't a finger on.

He turned the light off and gently shut the door. It was time to try and get some sleep. Kristen would be there in a few hours, and he could just imagine the torture he would endure over the next twelve hours or more.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen spent the day painting. He knew he needed to finish up the two for the show, but he had to paint the other picture first. He pulled out a new canvas and squeazed out several different shades of reds and greens onto his board, adding some white and silver along the way. By mid afternoon, he was starting to get a headache and realized he'd almost forgotten lunch. Breakfast had again been toast with a little bit of jelly this time. Things were looking up. He stood up, stretching out the kinks in his back, and made his way to the kitchen, his stomach growling at the thought of the leftovers in his refrigerator.

Sophia showed up as he was sliding his plate into the microwave. He opened the door, letting her in and making sure to lock it behind her he'd been getting increasingly nervous as the days progressed.

"Well, it looks like you got a lot accomplished last night," she said, throwing her coat across the back of the couch and following him into the kitchen.

"Yeah, we would have gotten finished if Jared hadn't ordered a halt and sent me to bed," Jensen grumbled, taking the food back out of the refrigerator.

"Why would he do that?" Sophia asked, taking down a plate and grabbing another cup.

"He said I was tired, that I needed to get some sleep."

"Well, you haven't been sleeping," Sophia agreed. "What time was it when he suggested you get some rest?"

"Somewhere around eleven," he said, taking his plate out and putting hers in.

"Hmm sounds like he might have been right," Sophia mused.

"You know, you could wait until you meet him to start taking his side," Jensen moaned.

"Honey, I'm not taking sides, I just know you. You were stressing out all day yesterday after getting up at the crack of dawn. I bet you didn't sleep worth shit the night before either, did you?"

"Not really," he acknowledged.

"Then you went and did the meet the parents thing, got married and spent whatever amount of time packing. I'm sure he just wanted to make sure you took care of yourself, and I'm more than happy to have someone else sharing that little pleasure with," she said, pouring some tea in each glass and setting them on the table.

"You do realize I'm a grown man right? I can take care of myself!"

"Of course you can, but we care about you so it's just part of the package. I would assume that's why you constantly fuss about the men I date." She stated, arching her eyebrow and waiting for him to disagree.

"You date assholes," Jensen responded with a scowl.

"Hmm, maybe. So how did the whole parents thing go?" Sophia asked, stabbing a piece of steak and moaning around the taste.

"I know, you should have had it before the nuking. Actually, it went well. It's not like I didn't already know them, I was just worried how they would deal with the cheating on Jeff and then me being pregnant."

"Jensen, you didn't cheat on Jeff. I understand why you feel that way, and I guess emotionally you can call it that if you want to, but physically he was gone you didn't cheat on him. So use another term because I don't like it when you put yourself in the same category as some of the slimy bastards I've dated."

Jensen looked at her shocked for a second. "Okay."

" Good, now tell me what they said and then tell me about the wedding."

Jensen grinned at her quick change of attitude and subject. " Well, Sherri was very understanding. She said she was happy to have me as part of the family, that she wished it was without the other stuff but that she'd always considered me part of it. She asked about the baby and how I was feeling and then Jared's dad came and got me, took me into the kitchen and fed me some finger food before the ceremony, said Jared had told him I'd been sick a lot, and he figured I might need a little hold me over until supper."

Sophia sat and ate while listening to Jensen talk about Jared's parents and the wedding. She was pleased that the family she'd not met yet seemed to realize how special Jensen truly was and had gone out of their way to not only make the day special but to welcome him into the family, not because he was Jeff's ex fiance, or that he was pregnant with their grandchild, but because he was Jensen. When they finished eating, Jensen disappeared into his studio and she decided to finish boxing up his room, leaving only his studio to do on Sunday.

Sophia knocked on his door a couple of hours later and told him she was going to head home but to call her before he moved. Jensen promised after he'd gotten her work schedule for the week and swore he'd bring Jared by so they could meet each other. He wasn't sure who was looking forward to it more, Sophia or Jared, and he was beginning to think it should scare him, a lot.

Jared woke up Saturday morning to the sun shining into his face where he'd forgotten to close his blinds. He glanced over at the clock and was slightly confused to see it reading eleven am because he was pretty sure Kristen's idea of bright and early was not almost lunch time. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and hit the bathroom. After making himself human again, he wandered down the hallway, even more confused by the sound of voices coming from Jensen's room. It wasn’t that he didn't know who he'd find, it was just that he didn't know how they'd gotten there.

He opened the door carefully, afraid he'd knock into someone that might be standing behind it, and was slightly taken aback by the sight before him. Chad was rolling a layer of cream paint across the ceiling while Kristen was working on one of the walls. The balcony doors were open, which explained not only why the room was cold, but why they were both wearing long sleeve sweat shirts. Jared thought he'd seen everything but a noise behind him had him spinning around to see a head bopping in time with some unheard beat, a baseball cap pulled down over blonde pigtails that looked suspiciously familiar.

Jared took a couple of steps towards the bathroom and waited until the hand holding the roller set it back in the pan before he swiped off the ball cap and scared the shit out of its owner, causing everyone to jump and swear at the shriek Alona let out.

"I knew those pigtails looked familiar," Jared declared.

"Well, you didn't have to give me a fucking heart attack while you found out!" She complained, still holding her chest.

"You better be glad I wasn't doing trim work either," Kristen huffed.

"Sorry, jeesh, you guys are uptight this morning," Jared said, raising his hands in surrender.

"This morning," Chad looked out the door. "This morning passed by about four hours ago man."

"Yeah, thanks for letting me sleep. Yesterday was a long day," Jared acknowledged. "It's coming together quick isn't it?" He said, looking around.

"I was able to get things together faster than I expected so I got started last night and Chad helped out so it put us ahead," Kristen explained.

"I'm assuming you're the help that Kristen was referring to so gleefully the other day," Jared asked Alona.

"Yeah, well, the favor she owed me wasn't quite as big as the favor I owed you, so I had to barter my services with it," she sighed.

Kristen snorted, "Please, like I had to twist your arm. You've been trying to find out the skinny since Jared called and asked you to set up the meet."

"Fine. Traitor," Alona said, sticking out her tongue.

Chad just rolled his eyes and went back to painting. "There's food in the kitchen. You'll have to warm it up but it should still be edible."

They worked the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. By the time they finished, all the painting and trim work was done. Alona had decided that Kristen was in debt since obviously painting sucked immensely and she planned on making her pay by helping to redecorate her bedroom. Chad offered to help which, of course, was met with raised eyebrows and threats of castration, but when they realized he was serious, they immediately accepted and even groveled a little in way of apology for misreading his offer.

Jensen called around three to let Jared know that Sophia had finished packing his room while he was painting and that the only thing he had left was his studio so if he wanted to come over later on Sunday that was fine since he'd prefer to pack his painting equipment himself. Jared told him that was fine. He had a few things he wanted to get ready at the house, and he'd be over around five to meet the moving van. Jared had thought long and hard about the solarium, with its ability to be temperature controlled and the windows, specifically designed to control the amount of light being let in, he thought it would make a great place for Jensen to set up his studio.

"Hey, Kristen before you leave, can you guys give me your opinion on something?" Jared asked.

"Sure, show me what you've got," she said, getting to her feet.

Jared led the way down the hall and flipped on the lights. The space was empty and the plantations blinds were all drawn, so he hit the button that would automatically open them and give her an idea of what the space looked like with all the windows uncovered.

"Wow," Kristen breathed.

"Yeah, I was thinking this would be a great place for Jensen to set up his studio, since he'd have a lot of light and a great view," Jared said, motioning to the gardens in the back yard.

"It's a great idea, but isn't this for plants?"

"It can be, but this one was designed so you could use it for anything and the sprinkler systems you'd need for plants was never put in," Jared explained.

"I think he'll love it," Kristen said.

Alona and Chad both agreed, and after some discussion about types of sofas and chairs for lounging around that would work in the room, they all decided it was time to go home and get some rest since tomorrow was furniture and finishing touches day. Jared walked them all out and then headed back upstairs to do the same, but he found himself drawn back down the hall to Jensen's room. He walked in and sat down in the middle of the room just taking in the difference in how the room looked already. Jared sat there for a little while just thinking about how his life had changed and how much it was still going to change. He finally got up and walked down to his room. He had another day to get things done before Jensen finally moved into their house.

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Sunday morning, Jared was up at six a.m. He'd checked the paint and found it completely dry so he started to carefully screw the sockets back in place. He grabbed the vacuum and ran the soft brush attachment along the floor to get up all the dust particles and any other possible trash that could be hanging around. The furniture company was supposed to be there at eight a.m. making a special delivery on Sunday, something Jared was paying dearly for, but he didn't give a damn. Jensen was worth it.

Chad showed up first, a little shocked that Jared was already up and moving, but happy to see there was already coffee in the pot ready for the taking. He grabbed a cup and slid into a seat at the kitchen table. Alona and Kristen showed up fifteen minutes later, both flopping into seats opposite Chad. They both looked horrified at the perky Jared version and asked Chad in a stage whisper if this is what he had to put up with on a daily basis, to which Chad mournfully answered yes.

"You know, I was going to make omelets, but if you're going to be mean you can make your own," Jared informed them.

"You know, we only pick on the people we love," Alona batted her eyelashes at him.

Kristen snorted her coffee. "Jared, for the love of my sanity, would you please tell her what's going on?"

Jared looked confused for a minute. "You mean neither one of you have told her?"

"Well, we didn't really think it was our place," Chad said, shrugging.

"Yes, and I think it's very unfair," Alona pouted.

"Oh, poor you," Jared grinned as he set the plate of omelets down and everyone started digging in.

"Come on, I got you Kristen, and I even sold myself out in the deal. I'm desperate! You see what it means to work for Kristen?" Alona begged.

"Fine, lord, you’re worse than Chad."

"Hey!"

Jared just looked at him, grinning.

"At least I don't whine," Chad grumbled before he started eating again.

"You know about Jeff right?" Jared waited until Alona nodded and then continued. "Well long story short, his fiance and I went up to my parents cabin the night of the funeral, got drunk and had sex. Jensen found out about two weeks ago that he's pregnant. He told me not quite a week ago, and I managed to convince him to marry me, which we did Friday. He's moving in on Monday, and I didn't want him moving in to a guest room. I wanted a room that was his." Jared explained, hitting the high points.

Alona sat, blinking at him for a minute, processing the information. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, she closed it again and cocked her head to the side, just looking at him. The only word to make it past her lips was, "Oh."

The furniture arrived not long after breakfast was finished and left no room for much of anything but heavy breathing, and swearing as furniture was lifted up the stairs and put together arranged and then rearranged. Chad worked on changing out the fixtures in the bathrooms to a satin finish instead of the high gloss ones that had been in there previously. It gave the room a much warmer feel to it. Jared was about ready to strangle Kristen when she wanted the dresser moved again but when he got it where she wanted it, he had to admit the placement was finally right.

Once all the furniture was in and the wall hangings were put up, Kristen shooed them all out, so she could put up the candles and put the finishing touches on the rooms. Chad decided he was going to grab a shower and some food before he had to meet the moving van at the storage unit that night and told Jared he'd call him later in the week. Alona collapsed on the sofa, letting her head drop back and closing her eyes. Jared sat down in the recliner and stared off into space, his brain having decided to take a brief vacation.

"So you love him, don't you?" She asked quietly, shocking him out of his coma like state.

"Excuse me?"

"You love him. It's the only thing that makes sense. You didn't have to marry him just because he was pregnant, you're willing to take the chance that he'll get over your brother and feel the same thing for you that you do for him, and then there's the room. You've not only moved heaven and earth to get it done, but you've helped do it and I don't just mean the physical labor, I mean, you put thought into what he'd like and what would make him comfortable. You love him."

"There's no way you can't. There's just something about him, Alona. I don't know why in the hell I never noticed it while we were growing up, but it had to have been there the whole time."

"Maybe you didn't let yourself notice it," Alona suggested.

The more he thought about it, she was probably dead on, because he always thought of Jensen as Jeff’s back then.

Kristen came to get them an hour later. She told Jared to go in first and to let her know what he thought. Alona could check it out after. Jared was thrilled with the final product, even the balcony looked completely different with the furniture in place. Alona peeked in, totally amazed at what a few well placed candles and odds and ends could do. She made Kristen take a bunch of pictures, so she could put them in her work portfolio.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen spent the morning trying to finish up the new painting he'd started the day before. He wasn't sure it was going to be dry enough to move on Monday anyway so he figured he'd keep working on it, and if he had to come back sometime during the week to pick it up, it wasn't that big of a deal. The alarm on his watch rang at noon, reminding him to stop and eat, a precaution he'd decided to take to keep himself on a regular eating schedule. He'd already started bringing snacks into the studio to munch on when he got hungry, usually just grapes or apples, something nutritious, and a bottle of water to keep him hydrated.

He called Jared the day before to let him know that he could come by later if he wanted. Sophia had finished the bedroom yesterday surprising him when he'd finally been forced to lay down and take a nap before he fell asleep on his stool. He'd been a little taken back by the stab of disappointment he'd felt when Jared had agreed to come later, but he refused to study the feeling to closely afraid of what he might find.

Jensen was startled to hear the knocking on the door some time later, and even more shocked when he glanced down at his watch to and realized it was a quarter after four. He wiped his hands on the cloth, looking around at the studio, the one he was supposed to have been packing up. He sighed to himself as he went to open the door and face the music. Jared was standing on the porch, his hands shoved in his pockets. He was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt but no jacket. Jensen shook his head. Apparently, Jared never outgrew his hatred of coats and gloves, except for in extreme conditions. Jared looked at the paint splattered t-shirt and jeans and started grinning.

"You haven't packed a thing have you?"

"Well, I was going to after lunch, but I wanted to touch up this one little section....." Jensen trailed off guiltily.

"It's fine, that's why I came a little early, just in case you still needed help," Jared assured.

Jensen's relief was written all over his face and his shoulders sagged as the tension left them, but Jared caught the barest of flinches as he reached out to smooth a smear of paint off Jensen's cheek. He continued on with the gesture even though his first instinct was to pull back and give Jensen space, because the greater instinct to prove he wouldn't hurt him won out. Jared also had the feeling Jensen was hoping he hadn't noticed that particular slip and Jared was going to let him believe it for the time being.

When Jared pulled his hand back, Jensen stepped back and gave him room to pass.

"Give me just a few minutes to move the wet canvases over to the drying rack, and then we can get started," Jensen said over his shoulder as he was heading down the hall.

"Take your time. I'm going to call the movers and make sure they're still going to be here on time."

As soon as Jensen disappeared, Jared slumped down onto the sofa. He was pretty sure Jensen didn't find him repulsive, so flinching wasn't something personal. The more he thought about it, the uglier the picture in his head became, and it made him seethe with an anger he'd never felt before. There was something niggling at his memory, something to do with Jensen, but he couldn't place it and he knew it was important.

"Jared?"

Jared looked up, realizing Jensen must have called his name more than once, and from the look of nervous uncertainty, he was probably scowling as well.

"Sorry, I was thinking about this new film I have to start work on soon," Jared lied, watching as the worry eased from Jensen's face.

"Do you not want to do it?"

"Oh, the script’s great, the actors are divas. I don't look forward to the month of 'my coffee's too hot, my grapes are green instead of purple, someone put Crest instead of Aquafresh in my bathroom' we get to listen to," Jared mimicked the actors.

Jensen was laughing by the time Jared finished.

"That's why I hide in the prop room and let Chad deal with them," Jared confessed.

"That's awful," Jensen choked down another laugh.

"No, it's not, believe me, I have to listen to Chad whine about them whining."

"Well, I still think Chad's getting the worse end of the deal," Jensen stated. "I've got the paintings moved now if you want to work on packing."

They worked side by side, Jensen showing Jared how to pack the paints and brushes, so they wouldn't get damaged and Jared trying his best not to get distracted by the constant shifting of muscles under tight jeans and even tighter t - shirt. When the moving van pulled up, Jared went to meet it while Jensen finished up. The movers were the same guys Jared had used in the past. They were quick, efficient and careful. They started with all the furniture and boxes that would be taking to the storage area, so they would be at the back of the truck, and then they started loading everything that would be going to the house, including one of Jensen's drying racks loaded with finished canvases.

Jared had to climb into the back of the truck and double check the strapping just to keep Jensen from trying to. He was pretty sure the man was going to be the death of him in one form or the other. Jensen had made sure everything was marked very clearly to make things easier even if he didn't know what rooms to assign them to in his new home. When everything was loaded up and the delivery truck was pulling out, Jared started to climb into his car.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come by and help unpack?" Jensen asked worriedly.

"No, I want you to get some rest, clean out your fridge and pack up the last little stragglers and be ready for me to pick you up tomorrow," Jared said, grinning at the frown already appearing between Jensen's eyebrows.

"You do realize I can drive. I have my own car and everything," Jared grumbled.

"Yes, but we have to come back anyway, and it's going to take both vehicles to carry the rack and the canvases and I want to drive you to the house the first time you see it," Jared explained.

"Fine," Jensen gave in, seeing that it meant a lot to Jared, "So I'll see you around noon then?"

"More like one, I have a few things to do in the morning, but it shouldn't take me long."

"Okay. Is there anything specific you want to move tomorrow or just finish it sometime during the week?"

"Not really, anything you want to bring with you tomorrow is cool the rest we can get when we come back."

Jensen stepped back so Jared could close his door. He stood watching until the car was out of sight and then wandered back into his almost empty house. The sudden wave of exhaustion seemed to hit him out of nowhere and he was infinitely grateful that Jared had refused to listen to him and left the bed standing, arguing that the movers could come back and get it with anything else that needed to be taken care of. He curled up around his pillows and was asleep within minutes.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The movers did, in fact, beat Jared to the house and were waiting by the gate when he got there. They helped him place all the boxes in the rooms they belonged in. The rack of canvases, Jared put in the solarium. He'd made sure to take a peek at the temperature settings in Jensen's studio so he would have it set the same, and he placed the paintings out of the light from the windows, closing off several sets of blinds just to make sure. He'd get Jensen to educate him on proper storage later so he'd know in the future what was dangerous to his work and what wasn't.

Jared set up the easels and the two stools Jensen had in his studio. The more he looked at the stools, though, the more they worried him. They were sturdy enough, but they had no backs, so not only could Jensen overbalance and fall off when he got further along in his pregnancy but with nothing there for Jensen to lean against there was no support for Jensen upper or lower back and Jared had read how badly a pregnant person’s back hurt. He decided that when he finished for the night, he'd sit down and order a couple with better support and depending on style something with an arm rest as well.

He unpacked all the miscellaneous items first, adding the CD’s and DVD’s to the already large collection in the den, making a note that he needed to get another media unit for storage, as well as possibly turning one of the extra rooms downstairs into a true library after unpacking Jensen's books and adding them to the ones he already had in the study. He figured he'd ask Jensen about that tomorrow. He moved on to the bathroom quickly, putting all the items away and making a mental note of the brands Jensen favored.

When Jared got to the bedroom, he started with the clothes in the closet and then moved to the dressers, unloading the clothes into them. He figured they would probably get rearranged but at least Jensen wasn't having to bend over and pull them out of a box. He placed several books he'd chosen to bring up to the bedroom on the small bookcase in the bedroom with a few of the objects that seemed to hold special meaning for Jensen by how they had been placed in his house.

Jared unpacked the box with Jensen's pictures last, some of his mom and some of Jeff and then there were the ones of Jeff and Jensen together. Jared set some on the dresser and a few on the bookshelves. There was one that was of Jeff standing on the beach looking at the camera laughing. It made his heart hurt just to look at it. He placed it on the nightstand beside the lamp, in the same position it had been in Jensen's previous room. It was hard competing against a ghost but Jensen was worth it.

He went to bed and dreamed about a house full of children and Jensen laughing up at him with love in his eyes.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen rolled out of bed Monday morning, not really sure what to do with himself. His paints were gone, he'd finished packing and everything else had already been moved. He, of course, spent the first thirty minutes in the bathroom, his morning ritual of greeting the toilet still firmly in place. However, an hour later, he was pretty sure he was going to go insane. He grabbed his keys and headed for the bakery since Sophia was supposed to be working, and he could get his chocolate and kill some time all in one go.

Sophia was a little surprised to see him, but she finished up with the order she was taking and sat down in the seat across from him.

"So exactly what are you doing here and by yourself might I ask?"

"You might, as soon as you get me my hot chocolate," Jensen said, grinning.

"Fine, I'll be back in a second," she said, disappearing behind the counter to get his drink.

Three minutes later, she was sliding the cup to him, "You know that baby's not going to want plain milk right?"

"It's going to be crying all night long and you won't know why and then it'll hit you, it's addicted to chocolate," Sophia finished.

Jensen just rolled his eyes and took another swallow of hot chocolate.

"Spill, why are you here instead of with Jared?"

"Jared's coming to get me at one. He had something to do this morning, so I can't stay long, but I've got nothing to do at home and I was going nuts."

"So, you came to me for boredom relief?"

"That and to see if you've been to any more financial institutions and pitched your idea?" Jensen asked, daring her to try and dodge the question.

"No, but I have an appointment on Wednesday for someone else to tell me no if it makes you feel better," she smiled sweetly at him.

"You shouldn't think like that," Jensen said, frowning.

"Maybe not, but I'm being realistic. I don't have anything to use as collateral, and they just aren't willing to take the risk on someone that doesn't have a degree behind their name," Sophia sighed.

"Well then they’re stupid and when you find someone who will, and you're a major success you can do the Pretty Woman thing."

"The Pretty Woman thing?"

"Yeah you know? Where she goes back to the store all dressed up and says big mistake to the snobby sales bitches. Well, you can do that to the banks when you have bunches of money. You can go in and talk to them about setting up accounts with them and go nope, you made a big mistake and leave laughing," Jensen smiled as Sophia dissolved in giggles.

"You know, I just may do that," she said wiping her eyes and sputtering a little when the giggles tried to return.

"I'm serious though Soph. You'll get your chance and it's going to be amazing."

"Okay. I believe you. Now go on and get out of here so I can do my job, and you won't be late meeting prince charming."

"Hmm, we'll see, they have a tendency to turn into frogs once you live together … the clothes never make it to the basket, the dishes are in the sink," Jensen laughed as Sophia threw her dishcloth at him.

"Get before I cut off the hot chocolate supply."

Jensen decided not to jeopardize a good thing and made his escape.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only reason Jared hadn't picked Jensen up at noon, or even earlier for that matter, was that Chad had called to tell him Eric had faxed over some of the financial information he'd put together on the sales from Jensen's past shows. Chad reminded him it wasn't a complete profile, but it was actually a good bit of documentation, so Jared had said he would meet him there in the morning so they could check it out and conference with Eric.

He pulled into the parking lot next to Chad's convertible. He still laughed every time he saw it. He'd asked Chad to pick a color and the first one out of his mouth had been purple, so purple it was. Chad still acted like a two year old every time he sat behind the wheel. Jared had given it to him as a bonus when he'd made his first million. He thought it was only right since, without Chad, things would never run as smoothly as they did. He'd offered several times to have the car repainted, but for some insane reason, Chad loved the color, said it made him unique. Jared thought it was hideous, but he figured to each their own.

Jared hurried up the steps, wanting to get the information looked over quickly so he could pack Jensen up, and they could finally start their life together, a little unconventional at the moment, but together nonetheless. He unlocked the door, pushing it shut behind him and relocking it. They weren't officially open this week, and he didn't want anyone stopping by because they saw their cars there.

"Chad, where are you?" Jared called when he didn't see him in the immediate vicinity of his desk.

"In your office," came the muffled response.

"What are you doing in here?" Jared asked as he walked in the door.

"The damn machine got jammed, I had to get Eric to resend the reports, but they should be coming through in just a minute. He's going to call you thirty minutes after the last one goes through on his end, he said."

"Did he say why?"

"Nope, said he wanted to ask you a couple of questions and figured you'd have some too," Chad answered, tapping his foot as he waited for the machine to connect and start receiving the information. "Ah, there it is," he sighed happily when the first sheet started inching its way out.

Jared just shook his head and went to grab a cup of coffee while Chad babysat the fax machine. When he came back, Chad had all the papers lined up on his desk and he was organizing them by dates.

"I've put them in order by his earliest shows to his latest shows so you can see how the earnings have increased. Eric said he'd have you some charts and graphs by the middle of the week, but this should work for now," Chad said.

Jared sat down and looked at each set of numbers, the earliest dating back to the time Jensen was in Paris until as recently as just a few months before Jeff's death, but they had all been joint shows with other artists. The earnings from each painting, depending on size, seemed to almost double from show to show and, at the last one, tripled in some cases.

"Hey Chad, there's two almost three years missing in between shows right here," Jared said, pointing to two sections of paperwork.

"Yeah, you’re right. We can ask Eric when he calls, but I don't think the machine ate it because the numbers all correspond to how many he sent."

When Eric called a few minutes later, Jared asked if he'd noticed the missing time and Eric said he did and that, no, he hadn't missed anything. Jensen hadn't done any shows during that time. He thought it was odd himself so he double checked but didn't find anything. They went over what the earning potential would be for his next show, to which Eric grumbled pretty damn high, and Jared asked why.

"Because my wife saw me working on the report and decided to Google the man so guess what she found?"

"His catalogue?" Jared asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, damn it, his catalogue, and now guess where I have to be in February?"

"I'm assuming you'll be here with me," Jared said sweetly.

Eric just growled at him which had Chad laughing hysterically.

"You do realize I'm going to be charging you more for this one. That way, I can pay for whatever she spends on your husband’s paintings."

"Oh, come on, you know just as soon as you get off the phone you're doing the same thing I am?"

"What's that?" Eric asked.

"Freeing up some capital to make a good investment."

"Shut up, and I'll see your ass in February," Eric said before he hung up.

"I swear that man gets more cuddly by the day," Chad said, wiping his eyes.

"I know, makes me miss him living here and busting into the office everyday looking like a Chihuahua on crack," Jared reminisced.

Chad grinned as he started collecting the papers. "I'm going to wait until he's here, and then I'm telling him you said that."

"You do and I'll key your baby," Jared threatened as he headed for the door.

"Yeah, and then guess who deals with Tom and Jessica?" Chad sing songed.

"Fine you win! I'll call you later," Jared said as he left.

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Jensen had been back home forty five minutes when Jared pulled up, thankfully early, because the thought of cleaning the refrigerator was starting to look entertaining at the moment. Jensen met him at the door with his coat on and his keys in his hand.

"I'm guessing you're ready to go?" Jared asked, amused.

"Are you kidding? You took everything last night. I didn't even have a book to read! I finally had to go get me some hot chocolate and talk to Sophia before I lost my mind," Jensen said, shutting the door behind him.

"Don't you want to grab the last minute stuff?"

"Nope, I've been waiting for three days to see your place and I'm not all that patient a person, so lets go see. Besides, it's cold as a witches titty out here," Jensen whined.

"How would you know, been pulling on any lately?"

Jensen shot him an ugly look and slid into the car when he popped the locks with the remote.

"So, how far away is it?" Jensen asked when he slid in behind the wheel and shut the door.

"Well, with the lunch hour traffic, there's no telling," Jared answered.

They made small talk on the ride to the house. Jared told Jensen about the movie making business and all the old movie posters he had framed in his office. Jensen had noticed them when he'd gone there to talk to him, he'd just had his mind on more important things but he'd wanted to ask about them. He told Jared he thought they were pretty cool, and Jared told him stories about how he'd come to own some of them, and how hard it was to find others.

The drive went by so quickly that it was a surprise to find themselves pulling up to the gate. Jared rolled down the window to speak to the gentleman at the house there. He introduced Jensen as his husband, and explained this was his first trip to the house. The guard asked that they stop by the main building sometime in the next day or two so Jensen could get his pass key and gate card, in case he ever needed to use them and the guard was on rounds and not at his post.

Jensen caught himself leaning forward in the seat, trying to catch a glimpse of Jared's house, which was silly, since he had no idea which one was his. Jared, on the other hand, was holding his breath to see how Jensen would react to his new home. Neither one of them should have been worried, when Jared stopped at the gate and punched his code in Jensen was already in love with all the trees and plants. Even though none of them were blooming right then, he could tell when they did the whole property would be awash in color and smell.

Jensen literally gasped when he first caught sight of the house. Jared looked over concerned something was wrong, but he saw the same look on Jensen's face, he knew he'd had when seeing the house for the first time.

"Jared, this place is gorgeous."

"I know, Alona is a miracle worker. I told her what I wanted, and she delivered."

" Alona?" Jensen asked, never taking his eyes off the house, which he seemed to be trying to memorize.

"Yeah, the realtor that found it for me."

"Oh well, she's fantastic then." Jensen agreed, praying he wouldn't see glass and mirrors everywhere when the door swung open.

Jared pulled into the garage and cut the engine. He figured he was probably as nervous as Jensen was and sitting out here wasn't going to make either one of them feel any better.

"Come on, I'll give you the grand tour," Jared said, getting out of the car and waiting for Jensen to follow before heading to the door.

Jensen stepped into the kitchen, blinking at the sheer size and the space, not to mention the wood flooring and cabinetry. He walked over to the closest set and ran his hand across the smooth surface.

"What kind of wood is this?"

"Mesquite."

"Like the stuff you cook with?"

"Yeah that too," Jared laughed. "I didn't know it looked like this either until I walked in here.

"Come on, there's still lots to show you," Jared said, tugging on Jensen's coat sleeve to get him away from the marble counters and into the dining room.

Jared walked him through the dining room and the living room, showing Jensen where he'd put his CD's and DVD's so he could find them if he wanted them. They walked through each of the bedrooms that were downstairs and Jensen seemed to want to ask a questions, but Jared could tell he was holding back.

"Did you want to ask me something?" Jared asked, stopping in the hall.

"I was just wondering which room was mine?" Jensen asked.

"Oh, yours is actually upstairs. These are more guest rooms, although I did want to ask what you thought about turning one into a library? I unpacked all your books and I put them in the office with mine but everything is double stacked. I thought it might be nice to have a proper library." Jared finished slowly when Jensen continued to gape at him.

"Jared, it's your house, you can do whatever you like in it. Did you really unpack all the boxes yourself?"

"Yes, I couldn't sleep last night, and you don't need to be doing anymore than you have to. As far as the house is concerned, we're married Jensen, it belongs to you too. If there are changes to be made, it's something I'd like to decide together. I've made the last changes I'm going to on my own over the weekend."

Jensen couldn't really do anything but stare at Jared, the man was just too damn trusting, lovable but trusting, and when had he started thinking of Jared as loveable?

"Now, come on, we still have several rooms to see," and with that Jared was off again.

Jensen followed behind, caught in a whirlwind as Jared showed him the gym, it had an elliptical and a treadmill. The weight bench was the band style that worked with natural resistance, there were free weights and jump ropes and some things Jensen didn't have a clue what the names of the items were much less how the hell you used them, but he knew he'd need it after he had the baby. Jared stopped in front of a set of French doors and squared his shoulders. Jensen was perplexed by the gesture until the door was opened, and he saw all his equipment set up as much as anyone that wasn't an artist could set up.

"Did you do this too?" Jensen asked.

"Yes, I tried to remember how you had things set up, and what I couldn't, I left in the box. I left some of the blinds closed because I didn't know if it would hurt the paintings, and I snuck a peek at your temperature settings so I could do the same here," Jared explained.

"Thank you, it seems inadequate, but it's all I can come up with right now," Jensen said, looking around at the room. "Why did you put it in here?"

"I thought you'd like the light and all the windows, plus...." Jared said moving to open the blinds into the back yard. "It's got one of the best views."

Jensen walked over and to one of the windows and looked out. He could see the flower beds nestled under trees and paths winding their way through grass still managing to hold it's color. Jensen could just imagine what it was like during the spring and summer and even in the fall with all the changing colors. There was beauty even now, in the dead of winter.

"Why aren't you using it for plants, since I'm guessing it's what its original use is for?"

"Actually, I don't think it's ever been used. The sprinkler system was never run for a greenhouse and if I were to have plants, they'd all die," Jared said.

"So who takes care of all your flower beds?"

"Martino, he's the god of all that's green and wait until you see what he did with the lights so I don't come home to a dark house. We could see about him setting up a lighting system in here if this one won't work, and I figured you could get some more racks if you need them. Or maybe another system for drying your paintings if you'd like since you have more space, you could do that," Jared offered. "But lets keep going. I still have all the upstairs to show you," he finished nervously before disappearing through the door.

Once up the stairs, Jared showed him the extra bedroom and the study.

"I see what you mean about books now," Jensen said thoughtfully. "I think a library might be a good idea, but could we wait a few days before we talk about it?"

"Sure, there's no rush. It was just something I wanted to ask you before I forgot, " Jared said, pushing open the door to his room. "This is my room. If you need anything, just knock or stick your head in and holler. Sometimes, I sleep soundly."

Jensen relaxed a little when Jared said my instead of ours because he'd been worried about having to upset Jared. He'd known Jared wouldn't expect them to share a room, but it hadn't kept him from stressing about it anyway.

"This is the room I thought would be nice for a nursery, and I put you in the room on the other side. That way, the baby would be in between us," Jared said, pushing open the door.

"You haven't done anything to this room?" Jensen asked.

"Well, no, except take out the furniture. I thought it might be nice if we did it together."

"I'd like that Jared. I'd like that a lot," Jensen said, looking around the room. It had its own bathroom, which would make it easier during clean up time. "I could paint a mural. I've never done anything like that before, but I'd like to try.

"I think that would be great, and I think you'd be wonderful at it."

They left the soon to be nursery and Jared paused in front of the last room. Jensen watched him rub the back of his neck and then run his fingers through his hair. He put his hand on the knob three times and even turned it once but he still hadn't pushed it open and gone in. Jensen tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around.

"Is there something wrong?"

"God, I hope not," Jared said nervously. " I um.... didn't want you to be in just a regular guest room, so I had someone come in, and we redid the room, but I'm not sure if you'll like it and now I'm sort of terrified to turn the handle and go in.

Jensen reached around him and turned the handle, giving it a small push inward. "Shall we?" he gestured behind Jared.

"Yeah," Jared sighed.

Jensen walked in and the first thing he noticed, of course, was the color of the walls. They were a pale sage green and absolutely gorgeous. The trim was a light cream color as were the linens and comforter on the bed. The furniture was in the strangest shade of colors he'd ever seen, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was mesquite as well, but it was beautiful and absolutely unique. Jensen walked around the room, looking at everything in total amazement.

There were candles placed on the dresser, a few on the armoire. He looked around amazed at all the work that had gone into making him comfortable and welcome. Jared had even placed his wish box in the center of his dresser, there was no way anyone knew what it was, and until last year he hadn't even had a proper box for all the little trinkets he'd kept over the years. Somehow though Jared had understood that it was important and placed it prominently in the room, just as he had the picture of Jeff on the bedside table.

Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat and moved to the french doors, opening them onto a small balcony. There were two loungers and a small table along with several empty planters running along the sides of the space.

"I figured I'd let you choose what kind of plants you wanted in them and have Martino bring them up the next time he comes," Jared said quietly.

"Thank you. It'll be nice to sit out here and read when the weather gets warmer."

Jared showed him the bathroom and told him how Kristen had helped him choose the color so it would blend with the room. Jensen couldn't even speak. No one had ever done anything for him like this. Sure, his mom had treated him special and had loved him, but this was something else entirely. He was quite literally speechless.

"Do you like it? Jared asked worried the longer the silence dragged on.

Jensen looked up at Jared realizing his silence was being mistaken for dislike. He couldn't understand how anyone could dislike not just the beauty of the room but the feeling that had been in the act itself.

"Jared, like doesn't even begin to describe it. This is amazing. I can't believe you'd do something like this for me," Jensen said quietly.

Jared's grin bloomed fully onto his face, dimples peeking out.

"You're worth it."


	6. Chapter 6

Jared spent the first couple of days getting used to the routine of Jensen getting up in the morning and keeping the toilet company. He'd already known Jensen was having a hard time with morning sickness but there was a difference between knowing about it and witnessing it Jared hated the feeling of helplessness. The only thing he could do was wet the washcloth and have a glass of water ready for Jensen to rinse with between bouts of toilet hugging. He despised that Jensen had been doing this on his own for six weeks, even more.  
　  
He'd finally called his mom after the first day, positive that no matter what the books and websites said nor Jensen's reassurances, it couldn't be healthy for the man or the baby to be losing everything he ate. Sherri assured him it was, unfortunately, a normal part of most pregnancies, but if it was still bothering him when Jensen had his next doctor's appointment to make sure and ask. That brought up something else he needed to remember to ask Jensen, so he could tell Chad not to schedule anything those days because he had all intentions of being there at every appointment from now on.  
　  
Jensen was standing in the solarium looking around when Jared finally found him. He'd asked if Jensen wanted help setting up the rest of his equipment the day before, but Jensen had wanted to get the rest of his things in his room straight before he tackled his painting.

"Hey, I'm going to make some breakfast. Do you just want toast or do you want to try for something a little heavier?" Jared asked.

"What do you mean by heavier?" Jensen asked as he turned around and quirked an eyebrow.  
　  
Jared had to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out and grabbing the man in front of him. Jensen was wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants which really shouldn't have looked so damn good, but they hung low enough that Jared could see a thin strip of skin where Jensen's shirt had ridden up. If that weren't enough, his husband was barefoot, his hair was mussed from sleep, there was a light shadow of stubble over his jaw, and he was wearing glasses.  
　  
Jared almost whimpered. He didn't think he had a glasses kink, couldn't even remember them being something that had revved his engine before, but Jensen in glasses had him going from zero to sixty in two seconds flat. He moved to stand behind the chair, hoping to hide his very physical reaction to Jensen's appearance, profoundly grateful that he seemed to be oblivious to his effect on those around him.  
　  
"Well, mom said to stay away from things that were real greasy, but I though if you felt up to it, I could make some pancakes," Jared finally answered, trying not to appear brain dead.  
　  
"You called your mom?"  
　  
"I was worried about the morning sickness," Jared answered, shrugging.  
　  
"The doctor said it was normal." Jensen paused for a second and then couldn't help himself. "What did your mom say?"  
　  
"Oh, um..." Jared stalled, seeing his chance to ask about the appointment without it sounding intrusive. "She pretty much said the same thing, that and stay away from greasy stuff. She said bland things are better right after and if you feel nauseated, but if you're feeling pretty good you can try other things. She said if I was still worried to ask the doctor the next time you went."  
　  
"Ok," Jensen answered, relief at having the doctor’s words echoed by Jared's mom. "Did she say anything about heart burn?"  
　  
Jared was a little taken back by the question, but he remembered reading something about that. "No, but the book says there would be some of that too."  
　  
"Yeah, it's just nice to hear it from someone whose actually lived it," Jensen said, shrugging.  
　  
"You can always call and ask."  
　  
"Maybe," Jensen said, a blush coloring his cheeks.  
　  
Jared watched Jensen look around the room and shift from foot to foot, realizing he was actually uncomfortable calling and asking.  
　  
"Did you ask your doctor the last time you went?"  
　  
"No, it's just started not too long ago," Jensen confessed, blushing again.  
　  
"When's your next appointment?"  
　  
"Not for another two weeks. I think it's the 27th. I have to go once a month right now as long as everything goes well."  
　  
"That's too far away. How about we go and get some breakfast, and then we can call mom later? We'll see what she says. If she doesn't have a suggestion, we can always call the doctor’s office."  
　  
"It's not that bad, honest. I just thought maybe she might have mentioned it. It's really not that important," Jensen said.  
　  
"It is important. There's no reason you should have to make do with it if there's something that can be done. I mean, there's going to be a whole lot we don't have any control over as it is, so if there's a way to help, then I'm going to make sure you get it." Jared stated firmly. He didn't know why Jensen felt like he needed to deal with things alone, but he was going to make damn sure he didn't have to.  
　  
"Okay," Jensen said, slowly trying to work out whether he should be irritated or not. He finally decided if it was taking him this long to figure it out then he obviously wasn't angry. "Do you need any help with breakfast?'  
　  
"Nope, I've got it all under control. What were you doing before I came in?"  
　  
"I'm trying to figure out what kind of storage system to use in here. I still want to keep my drying racks, but it would be nice to have somewhere to store my paintings after they're set. That way, I don't have to make a special trip into the gallery just to make room for more."  
　  
"Why don't you grab the laptop and come in the kitchen? You can do a search until you find something you like, and maybe I can help while I cook," Jared suggested.  
　  
"It might be easier to decide what I need before I decide where it goes," Jensen acknowledged as he followed Jared down the hall.  
　  
Jared started pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator and cabinets while Jensen went to retrieve the laptop. He had just started mixing everything together when Jensen padded back into the kitchen and slid into the chair next to the window. The sun was shining in through the open curtains lighting him in a warm glow. Jared hadn't realized he'd stopped stirring and was just starring until Jensen cleared his throat.  
　  
"What?" Jared asked, assuming he'd missed something.  
　  
"I asked if you were planning on going anywhere today?" Jensen repeated, looking at him curiously.  
　  
Jared could feel his face flush at being caught gawking. "Yeah, actually I was just thinking I needed to run by the office, and we could stop by your place and pick up that other rack today," Jared answered, giving himself a mental pat on the back for a halfway decent save.  
　  
Jensen didn't look completely convinced, but he gave a small shrug anyway. "Do you think we'd have time to stop by the bakery? I promised Sophia I'd introduce you, and if I don't do it soon, she'll be mounting a full scale attack on the garden wall," he finished sheepishly.  
　  
"I'd love to meet your friend, and we're not rushed to do anything this week." Jared thought about it a second, "Well, I'm not. I had Chad cancel everything this week, but I know you’re still trying to get ready for your show."  
　  
Jensen had been wondering when Jared was planning on going back to work. He hadn't realized he'd taken the whole week off and the gesture made him feel an unexpected surge of warmth and a cold dash of guilt.  
　  
"I probably need to get something done this weekend, but I'd like to take a few days and settle in, maybe get used to things a little and straighten out my supplies so whatever you wanted to do is fine."  
　  
Jared watched as Jensen went back to concentrating on the screen in front of him. His brow was furrowed as he scrolled through websites and mulled over choices. He almost burnt the first batch of pancakes when he glanced over to find Jensen with his lower lip caught between his teeth, worrying the flesh until it was bright red and swollen. Jared groaned under his breath and turned back just in time to flip the stack and adjust himself, hopefully without Jensen noticing.  
　  
"Did you find anything?" Jared asked a few minutes later as he sat the platter on the table and slid into the seat next to Jensen.  
　  
"I think so, but I was wondering if you think the frame could be done in the same wood as the floor?"  
　  
"Probably. Doesn't it need to be metal, though, so you can vent it or something so the painting will dry?"  
　  
"The inside will be slotted to keep the air flowing through it, but this is just going to be for storage, and I want the outside framework to be finished looking. I was thinking I could maybe make a small room in the solarium that I could put my racks in. That way, it wouldn't make the room look trashy. I don't want to bring my stuff in here and make part of your house look junky."  
　  
"To start with it's our house now, and I told you the solarium was never used anyway, but if you want to make it attractive because *you* want *to* then I'll call Erin. She's the one who did the bookcases in the study. I need to call her anyway about redoing one of the rooms into a library. Oh, and I was thinking we might want to do something different in the living room to house all the extra CD's and DVD's and still have room for adding more," Jared said around a forkfull of pancake.  
　  
"How did she move those things?" Jensen asked, referring to the massive bookcases that had been built on site.  
　  
"It's actually Erin and her brother Preston. They went into business together right after Erin got out of high school. They went to college at night and over the internet for business, but the woodworking they already knew, learned it from their grandfather. They usually work separate jobs because they're in demand, but if there's something the other needs help with then they just work together until they don't need help anymore. Did you find something that you think will work?"  
　  
"Yeah, but it's not exactly what I want," Jensen said, pushing the laptop aside to focus all his attention on his breakfast.  
　  
Jared was pleased to see Jensen eat a decent amount of food. He just hoped it stayed down.  
　  
"Why don't you just draw what kind of storage unit you want?" Jared blurted out. It had dawned on him they had both overlooked the most obvious solution to the problem.  
　  
Jensen sat blinking at him for a few seconds, his fork halfway to his mouth, before he lowered it and leaned back in his chair, a look of disbelief crossing his face.  
　  
"I never even thought about it and, usually, I‘d have just picked up whatever was lying around and started sketching. I swear, my brain has turned to mush and leaked out my ears," Jensen stated grimly.  
　  
"Your brain hasn't leaked out anywhere," Jared said, frowning at Jensen for putting himself down. "I think it's overloaded. I mean, hell, look at everything that's been going on in the last two months. It's a wonder you haven't forgotten how to draw. Do you have a calendar or something where you write down all the appointments you have?"  
　  
The blank look Jensen was leveling at him was all the answer Jared needed. It also explained why he hadn't been able to accidentally discover the date and time of Jensen's doctor's appointment or his art showing.  
　  
"Well, I can't remember anything if I don't have it written down on the calendar in the office so if you want to add yours to mine, then I'll be able to remind you if you've got something coming up, and you'll be able to do the same for me. Chad will think I don't need him anymore and be nicer to me." Jared grinned at the idea of messing with Chad.  
　  
"You know, one day he's going to quit and then where will you be?" Jensen asked, shaking his head.  
　  
"Nah, nobody else could put up with him."  
　  
"He would probably say the same about you," Jensen snarked, ducking his head to avoid the paper towel Jared threw his way.  
　  
They finished breakfast and both went upstairs to change before meeting back in the office. Jensen had taken a quick shower when he'd seen his hair poking out all over his head like a porcupine. Jared was on the phone when he walked in so he sat down in one of the over stuffed chairs by the window and opened the sketch pad he'd grabbed, his hand flying over the page, bits of Jared's conversation flittering past his concentration.  
　  
"No, he's going to draw it....."  
　  
"Yes, it will be more than a box......"  
　  
Jensen looked up at Jared, arching an eyebrow, but Jared just shook his head, so he went back to drawing out what he needed. When he finished, Jared was still going over plans for the new library, so he decided to go in search of a tape measure. He finally found the toolbox in the garage ten minutes later. Luckily, Jared was pretty anal about his tools and the tape measure was easy to locate. He had the measurements for everything by the time Jared found him half an hour later.  
　  
"I was wondering where you'd disappeared to."  
　  
"Figured I'd get this done while you were on the phone. One less thing to take care of later."  
　  
"Did you already finish drawing it out?"  
　  
"Yeah, I left it upstairs though," Jensen answered, reeling in the tape measure. "I can show it to you when I give you the dates to go on the calendar."  
　  
Jared trailed behind Jensen as he climbed the stairs. He almost tripped when he missed the top step, too busy watching Jensen clip the tape measure on the back of his jeans.  
　  
"Preston is going to handle the library and Erin's going to do your units. Do you think could draw something for the living room when you get a chance?"  
　  
"Sure. Do you know what you want?"  
　  
"Nope, I want us to both plan that room together, and I want your input on the library as well...." Jared stopped short, grabbing the banister to keep from falling.  
　  
Jensen had reached the top step and had turned to look at him with a confused expression on his face. Jared had been looking down to keep himself from developing an embarrassing hard on he'd have to either explain or try to hide again if he'd continued to watch Jensen's ass sway in front of his face.  
　  
"Don't do that," Jared scolded as Jensen reached out to help steady him.  
　  
"Do what?" Jensen asked, confused again.  
　  
"Grab someone that's getting ready to fall."  
　  
"Why the hell not? Do you want to break your neck? And why aren't you watching where you're going in the first place?" Jensen's voice rose a little in frustration.  
　  
Jared finished climbing the last few steps, crowding into Jensen's personal space, liking the spark of annoyance that caused his husband's cheeks to color a pale rose and made the green of his eyes sharpen.  
　  
"If I'd been watching where I was going any closer then you'd be up against that wall right there and my hands certainly wouldn't be to myself," Jared growled.  
　  
Jared moved forward another few steps, forcing Jensen to take a few back or be crushed up against him from thigh to chest. Jared watched the blush deepen and Jensen's eyes immediately drop from his to the floor.  
　  
"Jared....."  
　  
Jared stepped back, ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.  
　  
"I didn't want you grabbing me because I might have pulled you down with me, and I'd rather have risked a broken neck than you and the baby being hurt."  
　  
He waited while Jensen continued to inspect the floor for another few seconds and was almost ready to give up when Jensen finally brought his eyes back up and looked at him.  
　  
"Okay, next time I'll let you fall." Jensen gave him a small smile before leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for looking out for us," and with that, he turned and went into the library.  
　  
Jared stood there in shock a couple of minutes before he followed Jensen down the hall. When he rounded the corner, Jensen was leaning over the calendar, frowning at all the notes penciled in.  
　  
"Do you ever get any time off?"  
　  
"Well, half those were made last year, and the others were made before I found out about the baby, and we got married. Chad and I will be going over all these again before they are set in stone, that's why they're in pencil. The ones you see in ink are the ones I can't get out of even if I said the President wanted me over for dinner."  
　  
"Oh.. Well let's get mine, in so we can go. I called Sophia and she's going to be there until four."  
　  
Jared couldn't quite place what was different in Jensen's voice or his facial expression. He could just tell something was bothering him. He didn't think it was the confrontation on the steps otherwise Jensen would have never given him the kiss and thanked him. No, this was something that had happened between then and now. He pulled the calendar out and started with Jensen's doctor's appointment.  
　  
"What time is your appointment on the 27th?"  
　  
"It's at 4:00, because I always do my errands first. That way, if the doctor decides he's going to holler at me and send me home, I've already done everything that needs doing."  
　  
Jared looked up sharply, the pen poised over the page, "Has that ever happened?"  
　  
"No," Jensen grinned, "but I like to be prepared for it, just in case. I read with male pregnancies, blood pressure is often a problem and that bed rest may be required."  
　  
Jared shook his head and went back to writing the time and type of appointment down.  
　  
"Are all your appointments for the same day each month?"  
　  
"Nope, they change each time I go in. Why?"  
　  
"I don't know, you said you had to go every month. I didn't know if they had you on a standing appointment or something. What else do you have?"  
　  
"I have the show in February. That's on the 12th it starts at eight, but I'll be there pretty much all day," Jensen said quietly.  
　  
Jared flipped the calendar page and froze. He glanced up at Jensen, but his husband was looking out the window, studiously inspecting the tree branches. Jared looked back down at the page that had him written in to fly out on the 9th and not return until the 13th. Jensen had known he wouldn't be able to go to his show, and he'd been disappointed. That's what Jared had heard and seen but couldn't place. There was no way Jared could skip the meeting. It had taken months to get everyone's calendar coordinated so that all the actors, producers and directors could finalize the points on his next project.  
　  
"Jensen." Jared waited until Jensen turned and looked at him.  
　  
"It's okay. I know you had this planned long before I came along. It's just a show anyway, no big deal," Jensen said, shrugging.  
　  
"It is a big deal, and I will be there. I may be late, but I will be there." Jared stated, making sure Jensen maintained eye contact. He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he'd be damned if he was going to miss that show.  
　  
"Okay," he said softly and nodded.  
　  
"What else?"  
  
"There's a grand opening I'm going to on March the third. It's going to be at eleven. Oh, and starting the week after that I'll be teaching classes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon from tow until four."  
  
Jared was a little perplexed by Jensen's sudden need to get a job since it didn't seem he'd had one outside of painting for several years. He didn't know how to aske without overstepping boundaries but he didn't want Jensen exhausting himself either.  
  
"Jensen, I'm not real sure how to ask you this without possibly offending you, and I don't want to do that but...."  
  
"You're going to anyway?" Jensen finished for him, smiling.  
  
"Pretty much, yeah. Well, actually I'm not going to ask you anything. I'm going to say something, and then you can hit me or yell if you want."  
  
"Well, thanks for your permission, at least." Jensen snarked, leaning back. If Jared thought he was going to forbid him from doing something, he was going to be in for a rude awakening.  
  
"I'm not sure why you think you need to get a job, and if you want one just to do something okay, but if it's because you need money, you really don't need to do that. I've already told you I make more than enough money to support us for the rest of our lives as it it....  
  
Jensen had been so ready for Jared to tell him he couldn't work that when Jared had tried to nicely tell him he didn't need a job if he needed money he couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled up and broke free.  
  
"You do realize it's really not nice to laugh when someone is trying to be serious, right?"  
  
Of course, that had the opposite effect, and it was several minutes later and a trip to the bathroom before Jesnen was able to look at Jared with a straight face.  
  
"I'm sorry. That was honestly not what I was expecting, and it was very nice."  
  
"Then why are you still biting a hole on the inside of your cheek trying not to laugh?" Jared grumbled.  
  
"Because I was waiting for you to tell me I couldn't work, and I was getting ready to get all worked up, but you threw me a completely different conversation than I was ready for and all I could do was laugh at how stupid I was."  
  
"Oh. Well, I don't think you're stupid." Jared replied softly. "So if you're not doing it for the money, why are you all of a sudden starting to teach? Is it something you've wanted to do?"  
  
"I'd never thought about it before a year ago, but a couple of friends of mine ar opening a center, the first of it's kind. That's what the grand opening is for, and I volunteered to do art classes."  
  
"What kind of center?"  
  
"Honestly, for anyone that needs somewhere to go, but it's main purpose is a safe haven for victims of abuse. They've done an amazing job getting it ready and making sure anyone and everyone will be welcome. I'm going to do what's called art therapy. It's lets people draw how they're feeling. Sometimes, if you can't talk about it you can let it out another way and that's what I'm hoping I can help with. Who knows I may find some talented people while I'm there."  
  
"Sounds great. You'll have to show it to me while we're out today if you're feeling up to it."  
  
Jensen grabbed his sketchbook on the way out of the library, just in case he needed it. Hell, the way his brain had been lately, he believed it might be a good idea to keep it on him all the time.  
  
"When are they going to be here to do the work?"  
  
"End of the week." Jared answered as he stopped at his room and grabbed a jacket.  
  
Jensen shook his head at Jared's refusal to dress for the weather. "So soon? I thought we'd have to wait awhile the way you made it sound."  
  
"So did I, usually we would. They blocked off two weeks for vacation and something fell through so they're free."  
  
"That sucks. Seems crappy to take advantage of their misfortune, though."  
  
Jensen looked back at Jared's silence, confused at the amused look on his face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Crappy?"  
  
"Shut up." Jensen grumbled. "I'm trying to get out of the habit of cursing, and I don't know how much babies actually understand in there." His hand rested on his still flat stomach.  
  
A primal feeling of protective need wormed its way though Jared at the way Jensen's hand stroked across his stomach. Jared was sure he didn't realize just how frequently he did it, but the gesture never failed to evoke a visceral response in him. When he glanced back up, Jensen was looking at him mutinously, assuming he was going to be made fun of or told he was being silly.  
  
"I think that's a great idea, gives us longer to work on it." Jared agreed as he opened the garage door and ushered them out.

  


Jared was completely shocked at the section of the city he found himself in. He wasn't a snob by any means, he just never had time to get very far from his office or his home. If he did, it was usually to scout locations, and those were usually done in another city, sometimes another state.  
　  
Jensen was still laughing at him for asking if they had crossed the state line without him noticing. When they'd left, Jared hadn't thought anything of handing his keys over and letting Jensen drive. After all, he knew where they were going. Other than the office and the old house, Jared had no idea where any of the other places they were going were located so it just made more sense for Jensen to drive. Jensen had given him a peculiar look but took the keys, climbed behind the wheel and driven them into another world entirely.  
　  
The streets were cobblestone, the sound of it under the wheels foreign, yet exciting. Jensen explained that the downtown waterfront area had been part of a revitalization plan that had been going on for about three years now and had about another two or three before it was complete. One of the larger annual festivals actually took place on the main streets, and for two days, four of them were closed to anything but foot traffic. Vendors would put their booths down both sides of the blocked streets. There would be all kinds of foods, crafts, music, and just about anything you could think of for sale.  
　  
When the project had first started, the artists in the surrounding areas had been the first to move in to the lofts and shops underneath, taking advantage of the scenic views of the waterfronts and the old warehouses that had been refurbished and restored as well as the parks and gardens. The bakeries, coffee shops, and small, family run groceries came not long after, making it a close knit community of well to do and starving artists.  
　  
The bakery Sophia worked at was only a couple of blocks from the gallery he was having his showing at so he decided to park at the gallery and check in, then walk to the bakery. He wanted to make sure they hadn't changed their mind about what room his work was going to be shown in, and he wanted to double check the number of pieces he had physically at the gallery versus what were at the two houses.  
　  
Jared walked around, looking at the different pieces, but nothing captured his attention like Jensen's had. He wandered into the room where his husband and the gallery owner were talking quietly on the other side of the room. Some of Jensen's pieces were already hanging on the walls, including the one that he intended to buy. He was so engrossed in the painting, he didn't hear one of the gallery assistants appear at his side.  
　  
"It's breathtaking, isn't it?"  
　  
"Yes, it is?"  
　  
"Will you be at the showing?"  
　  
"If I have to give up a six figure movie deal to do it," Jared murmured, making the woman blink. "Sorry, I just discovered this artist and there are several pieces I'm interested in."  
　  
"Oh," the woman answered brightly. "You know this painting wasn't even supposed to be in the showing," she said quietly.  
　  
"Why not?"  
　  
"I'm not really sure, I think the gallery owner knows why. Matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago the artist was going to pull it and then changed his mind."  
　  
They spoke for a few more minutes until she was called away. Jared studied each painting, carefully tucking his hands in his pockets to keep his hand off them. Jensen finished up a few minutes later and they left to walk to the bakery.  
　  
"Are you sure you don't want to drive?"  
　  
"Yes, Jared, I walk it every time I come. I want to do it as long as I can. Soon enough, I'm not going to feel like it, and then I'll be going stir crazy."  
　  
"All right, but if you get tired, tell me and I'll come back and get the truck."  
　  
"Yes mom," Jensen grinned at Jared's scowl.  
　  
When they entered the bakery it was busy, so they took a seat and waited for the rush to pass by. Jensen took out his sketchpad, and they talked about what would work in the living room and what would make use of the most space in the room they were going to be using for the library.  
　  
Sophia brought over Jensen's usual hot chocolate and a cinnamon role, and waited for him to do the introductions.  
　  
"Sophia, this is Jared. Jared, this is Sophia. Do not let her scare you."  
　  
Jared stood and shook her hand, pulling out her chair so she could sit with them.  
　  
"I'm hurt," Sophia sniffed, dabbing at her eye. "I would never do such a thing."  
　  
"Really?" Jensen asked. "I seem to remember that time....."  
　  
"That was a misunderstanding and completely your fault," she denied, turning her back and taking in the man that had married her best friend.  
　  
"So, you're Jared Padalecki?"  
　  
Jared wasn't really sure how he was supposed to respond, especially when he felt like he was in the cross hairs of a sniper rifle, but something told him the only way to hold your own with Jensen's friend was to give as good as you got.  
　  
"Yes, and you're the Sophia Bush."  
　  
Jensen groaned under his breath, looking at the pissing contest playing out in front of him.  
　  
"Jared would you like something to eat?" Jensen asked, pushing away from the table to stand.  
　  
"Yeah, but I'll get it. You just walked the last two blocks, and I'm sure Sophia wants to make sure I've not locked you in a dungeon." Jared stood and headed for the counter, grinning as Jensen rolled his eyes.  
　  
"Didn't I just tell you to be nice," Jensen fussed.  
　  
"I was being nice. I would have gotten him something, but I don't know what he likes, unlike you," Sophia said, stabbing her finger in his direction. "Plus, I haven't heard from you in four days, and you call to see if I'm working then hang up before I can even find out how you've been. What am I supposed to think?" She hissed back.  
　  
"That I'm a little bit busy trying to get used to the fact that I'm married and moving into a new house. Let's not mention that every time I turn around, he's doing something completely unexpected, and I can't figure out why," Jensen growled back.  
　  
"Like what?"  
　  
"Like the solarium is where he put all my canvases and supplies. I mean, Soph, you should see this room, it has the best view of everywhere and the lighting in there when the sun comes in. Then there's the fact that you can actually change the temperature and lighting because it was originally supposed to be a green house or something, but he said it was never used for that."  
　  
"So it sounds like the perfect place for you to paint."  
　  
"It is, but why give it to me, and then he had it set up as much as he could figure out when I got there. Then there's this." Jensen pushed the sketches towards her.  
　  
Sophia flipped through them quickly, a frown crossing he face. "Yeah, so?"  
　  
"Jared wants to redo a room into a library because, between the two of us, the study won't hold all the books we have and the same with the entertainment area of the living room, so he wanted to redo it."  
　  
"Still not seeing the issue here," she sighed, sitting back and taking a sip of her coffee.  
　  
Jensen looked up and noticed that Jared was the next in line to be waited on. "It's his house, he can do whatever he wants to, but he wants me to be a part of all the decisions."  
　  
"Well, yeah, Jensen that's sort of what a marriage is supposed to be. You don't just do things on your own anymore, well, not the important things."  
　  
"He redid the room I'm in too," Jensen whispered, desperately trying to get Sophia to understand how oddly he thought this whole week had been.  
　  
"Did you ask him why?"  
　  
"No, he said it was a guest bedroom, and he wanted me to have something for me, not a generic run of the mill room."  
　  
"Honey, I still don't see why this is so worrying you so much."  
　  
Jensen sat back, watching Jared pay for his coffee and Danish. "He's not getting anything out of it."  
　  
"He's getting a chance to be there through the pregnancy. He's getting a chance to be involved. I think, maybe, he's getting a lot more than you realize."  
　  
Jensen didn't have time to answer before Jared was sliding back into the seat across from him.  
　  
"So, I hear you're doing some redecorating," Sophia said, leaning back in her chair to watch the two men’s reactions, hiding her grin behind her coffee cup when Jensen scowled at her.  
　  
Jared took a sip of coffee, moaning at the rich thick flavor. He glanced up to where Jensen was giving him a glare.  
　  
"Sorry," he offered sheepishly.  
　  
Jensen decided to ignore him in favor of eating his cinnamon roll, his look promising retribution.  
　  
Sophia snorted before she turned her attention back to Jared.  
　  
Jared looked up, realizing she was still waiting for an answer. "Yeah there's some things that need expanding now that it's housing both our things and Jensen has to have a place to paint, and it's not the way it needs to be so there's that." He stopped to take another sip of coffee, remembering not to vocalize his pleasure this time.  
　  
Sophia listened to Jared talk about the different rooms they were going to redo and why. The more he talked, the more she was sure that Jensen had made the right choice in marrying the man. There was no doubt in her mind that Jared loved her friend. She knew the reasons Jensen had decided to get married weren't the one's they were supposed to be, but if he just let himself, she had a feeling it wouldn't be long before he loved Jared just as much as the other man clearly loved Jensen. Watching them interact while she'd been waiting on customers earlier, she had found herself relaxing. The four days of no communication had wound her nerves tight, but she hadn't wanted to intrude so she'd kept busy and not called.  
　  
Jensen had been listening to Jared and Sophia talk and was happy to see them getting along. He'd been terrified that they'd hate each other, and he hadn't known what in the hell he was going to do if that had happened. He was hoping that she would leave the question about the bedroom unasked since it was much more personal than the other rooms that had been redecorated, but he should have known better.  
　  
"Jensen was telling me you redid one of the rooms for him. I'm definitely going to need the name of the decorator if I ever get my plans off the ground."  
　  
Jensen was a little taken back by the pale blush spreading up Jared's neck and into his cheeks. He had no idea why Sophia asking for the decorator's name would embarrass him.  
　  
"Well, Kristen Bell is the decorator. She was a referral through my real estate agent, but um...." Jared cleared his throat and took gulp of coffee. "I picked out pretty much everything," he mumbled, looking everywhere but at Jensen.  
　  
Sophia couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. She'd known she'd been right, and when she looked over at Jensen, she realized the other man had no idea the lengths that Jared had gone to in making him feel welcome and comfortable.  
　  
"Well, you'll have to show it to me. Jensen told me how much he loved it, and once it warms up, I'm sure you'll have to pry him off the balcony when he's not painting."  
　  
Jensen managed to close his mouth, before his husband finally glanced his way he could feel the heat in his own cheeks, not really knowing what to do with this new bit of information. He couldn't help but offer a smile that he hoped Jared would understand.  
　  
When Jared finally managed to bring his eyes level with Jensen's, he was astonished to see the other man blushing. Even the tips of his ears were pink. It wasn't that it was really a secret, the decorating, it was just not something he'd offered in detail, but the shy smile curving Jensen's mouth and the blush staining his cheeks causing the freckles along the bridge of his nose to dance to life was a picture he was glad he hadn't missed.  
　  
Sophia asked when Jensen's next doctor's appointment was, and they carried on with the conversation for several more minutes before there was another rush of customers and she had to leave the table and get back to work. They finished up their snacks and Jensen promised to call her later before they left for the walk back to the truck. Jared listened as Jensen made a call to the shelter, only half paying attention to the conversation. He was still enthralled by the little shops along the way, and they were walking on the opposite side they had been on before so there were still new things for him to look at.  
　  
Jensen had just closed the phone and had opened his mouth to let Jared know that they would have to go by the shelter another day to meet Chris and Steve when he realized that Jared had stopped a couple of stores back and was staring at something in the window. When he doubled back, he realized it was an antique shop that had restored furniture, but it was the rocking chair in the window that held Jared's attention.  
　  
"Do you like it?" Jensen smiled as Jared jerked in surprise.  
　  
"Yeah, I do. I know it's not like those glider things everyone's getting, but there's something about it." Jared's brow furrowed in thought.  
　  
"I understand. It's got character," Jensen said, smiling.  
　  
"Yeah, a story. You know what I mean, not just manufactured in a plant. It has a past." Jared turned around, happy Jensen understood.  
　  
"Did you want to go in?"  
　  
"Do we have time before we go to the shelter?"  
　  
"The guys are a couple of counties over picking up some donated items, so we've got plenty of time. You can meet them another day," Jensen said, pulling the door open and waiting for Jared to join him.  
　  
By the time they were finished inside the shop, the nursery had a crib, the rocker, and a changing table. Jared had arranged for the same movers to pick up their purchases and deliver them to the house the next day. He wasn't sure if he was walking or floating, but he was damn happy.  
　  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
　  
The man standing on the porch of Jensen old house wasn't happy at all. He'd been gone for three days, two to satisfy his parents and the other to satisfy his probation officer. Joshua couldn't afford for all his hard work and time to be wasted by something as petty as having his parole revoked. He'd made damn sure that he could account for all his time, and none of it showed him anywhere near his Jenny.  
　  
Joshua had spent the first day back trying to make himself believe that the inactivity around the house was just Jensen getting lost in his painting or him being at that damn shelter, but by the second day, he'd waited until it'd gotten dark and looked in the windows. It pissed him off, having to sneak around like a common peeping Tom.  
　  
He was Joshua Jackson for god's sake! He was worth millions. This was beneath him, but he couldn't trust anyone else with something this important.  
　  
He startled at the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, a pretty brunette getting out of the vehicle. Joshua approached the car, pinning on his most innocent smile.  
　  
"Hello, can I help you?" The woman asked as he approached.  
　  
"I hope so. I've just flown in for a convention and one of my friends lives here but I haven't been able to catch up with him. I was just wondering if you knew where I could find him?"  
　  
"Oh, I'm sorry. He's apparently moved, that's what I'm doing here," she said as she opened the trunk.  
　  
Joshua could see the ‘For Sale’ signs that agents used to stake into the ground. He fought to retain his charming exterior even as a molton flow of rage flooded his veins.  
　  
"Really? Do you know where he moved?" He asked keeping his voice friendly.  
　  
"No, it was sudden, though, I think, because there's not been an appraisal yet."  
　  
"That's okay, I'll see if I can catch up to him later. I was just going to surprise him."  
　  
Joshua smiled before making his way down the path. As he rounded the corner, the woman was beating the sign into the ground, the encounter obviously already forgotten.  
　  
Joshua smiled grimly to himself. He had to hand it to him. Jensen had managed to elude him this time. It didn't matter, though, he knew exactly where his Jenny would be on February 12th. Joshua was going to make sure Jensen remembered who he belonged to and what happened when he disobeyed.  
　  
　


	7. Chapter 7

Jared hadn't known exactly how Chad was going to receive Jensen when he'd first told his friend about the sex and then the pregnancy. However, it seemed once Chad made up his mind that Jensen wasn't after money or attention, he accepted the Jensen like he was an extension of his best friend.

Jared kept telling himself that was a good thing, but when they decided to gang up on him again for the third time in under an hour, he was seriously rethinking the whole 'best friend get along with your husband' shtick.

"Stop pouting. You're just not used to someone other than Chad telling you it's hideous," Jensen scolded, trying his best to not to let the grin he was holding back slip on to his face.

"I'm not pouting," Jared defended. "That's an original movie poster of the 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre!"

"You're lip is poked so far out I could walk on it," Jensen reached over and pinched the afore mentioned lip between his thumb and knuckle.

"Ouch!"

"Oh my god! You big baby," Chad started laughing at Jared's offended look.

"The point is, every other movie poster you have is vintage 40's and 50's black and white. It doesn't match." Jensen swung his hand around indicating the posters in the lobby and along the hallway.

"It's worth over $800. Besides, I like it," Jared whined.

"I don't care if it's $8000. It's ugly." Chad grumbled.

"So move it somewhere else," Jensen suggested, cutting off the impending argument he could see brewing.

"Where?" Jared huffed, "And do not say the bathroom, Chad. I've heard that five million times already."

"I was going to say the trash," Jensen mumbled under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Jared asked aghast!

"What about to the back?" Jensen covered, glaring at Chad as he stifled a giggle.

"Out back where?" Jared asked suspiciously.

"In the room you use for stalled negotiations?" Chad questioned hopefully.

"Why? Are you trying to influence them sublimely?" Jared asked.

"Well, no, but if they have to look at it too long they should crack under the ugly," Chad managed to get out before he started laughing again.

This time, Jensen couldn't help it Jared's face was a cross between horrified and scandalized, and the giggle he'd been holding in escaped, which turned into uncontrollable laughter shortly thereafter.

"You know what?" Jared said, moving his finger back and forth so he was pointing at both of them.

"Yes?" Jensen gasped out.

Jared couldn't even remember what he was going to say. "Never mind. I don't like either one of you," he groused which, of course, only made them laugh harder.''

Jared decided it was better to retreat to his office before he completely lost his head and yanked Jensen up off the chair and kissed him senseless. He hadn't seen Jensen this relaxed and happy since..... well, in a long, long time now that he thought about it.

******

Jared finished up the few items of business Chad had for him and packed up the file Eric had sent over that covered the more detailed breakdown of Jensen's shows and financial information he'd need for investing when he went to next months show. He'd glanced over it while Jensen had been showing Chad the web site for the festival that he'd told Jared about when they'd been visiting Sophia.

Jared thought Eric would be able to fill in the two year gap in time when there were no shows given the extra time. Unfortunately, that hadn't been the case. Eric had even made a note that there was nothing to find because Jensen seemed to have professionally dropped off the map. There was a question mark there, and Jared knew it was Eric's way of asking if he wanted it looked into. Jared was honest enough to admit there was nothing he'd like more. Okay, that was a lie. He could think of at least one thing he wanted more, but until Jensen decided he was ready for more, he'd work his way to carpal tunnel syndrome.

He really wanted to know what would make Jensen disappear the way he had, but he wanted Jensen to be the one to tell him. That didn't mean he wouldn't ask his mom and dad if they remembered anything significant happening around that time, though. Just because he hadn't been around to hear what was going on via Jeff didn't mean his parents didn't know. Surely Jeff had to have been in touch with Jensen in order for him to attend graduations, not to mention they had had been joined at the hip since Jensen had stepped foot into the Padalecki house.

Satisfied with a plan of action, he phoned his mom to set up a dinner date. They decided to make it the night of Jensen's doctor's appointment since Chad had already cleared the calendar for that day and Jensen assured him he wouldn't be too tired after the appointment. Jensen had shrugged and told him he'd be fine and that this way they could tell his parents about his first visit to the doctors in person. Jared's heart skipped a beat at the ease in which Jensen openly accepted his involvement in all aspects dealing with their baby.

He finished the call to his mom and went to separate Chad and Jensen. Jared still couldn't believe the two had bonded over their insane attachment to all things Scooby Doo.

"He was too."

"No, he wasn't," Chad argued back.

"What are you two arguing about now?" Jared asked as he shut his office door.

"Nothing," they answered in unison.

"Okay......." Jared just stood there looking at Chad.

"Fine," Chad sighed.

"Pussy," Jensen muttered under his breath.

Jared quirked his eyebrow, waiting for Chad to enlighten him.

"Hey, you don't have to work for him," Chad groused, elbowing Jensen.

"We were having a discussion on Freddie Jones' sexual preferences," Chad finally admitted.

"Who?" Jared asked, trying to figure out who Chad and Jensen could possibly both know.

Jensen rolled his eyes, " You know Freddie of the Mystery Machine Freddies."

"Oh," Jared answered, still lost as to why this was even a debate. "It's a cartoon, they don't have a sexual preference."

Jensen and Chad both looked at him like he had told them the world was flat and the eighty's music wasn't the best.

"Chad said he was all into Daphne, but I told him that was just a smoke screen," Jensen explained, still giving him the 'I can't believe you look'.

"I'm going to regret asking this, but exactly who was he into if it wasn't her?"

"Shaggy, of course!"

"Dude, he was not!" Chad squawked. "You're projecting."

"No, I'm not. Didn't you ever wonder why he was always dressed so preppy and why he never, ever made a move on Daphne?"

"He wore the same thing every episode!"

"Yeah," Jensen agreed.

Jared leaned against the wall, watching them argue, a smile playing across his face.

"Fine. If that's so, how did they ever do anything? Scooby was always there," Chad stated smugly.

"No, he wasn't. Every night, he always went to take a bath, leaving Fred and Shaggy quality time in the great big bed!" Jensen announced triumphantly, but then he frowned. "Of course, Scooby always saw the ghost or whatever then so I bet they got interrupted an awful lot."

Chad sighed, looking at Jared for help.

"Don't look at me. I was always into He-Man."

Chad and Jensen both rolled their eyes.

"Like everyone didn't know Prince Adam was gay. He was so conflicted he had to have an alternate personality to deal with it," Chad grouched, sending Jensen into hysterical laughter.

"Why did I think it would be a good idea to introduce you two?" Jared asked.

Chad shrugged, "Because you're a masochist?"

"I am not!" Jared exclaimed.

"I think there's a good case to the opposite," Jensen interjected.

"What?"

"Well, obviously you enjoy the company of Chad, since he's not only your employee but also your friend, and since you did introduce us, I do think that goes a long way to proving you must have a hidden kink that's not so hidden anymore," Jensen finished, snickering when not only Chad sat dumfounded but Jared actually blushed, and wow that was having an interesting effect on things below the waist.

"I thought you said he was quiet," Chad stage whispered, leaning Jared's way.

"He usually is," Jared answered, arching a brow and grinning at the red wash of color spreading across Jensen's cheeks. "Obviously you're a bad influence."

"I'm an amazing influence," Chad disagreed.

"Yeah you are," Jared finally agreed, never losing eye contact with Jensen.

Jensen had been living with Jared just over a week and already he was about to drive him insane. It wasn't the fact that Jensen was grumpy in the morning. Who wouldn't be after heaving up half your stomach lining and then being denied your coffee? No, Jared actually found Jensen's grumpy disheveled appearance addictive, which if he hadn't already known he was a lost cause that would have clued him in really quickly.

It wasn't the way Jensen had of drifting through all the rooms, touching everything like he needed to see what each and every surface texture would feel like under the pads of his fingers. Even though Jared had bitten his tongue more than once trying not to whimper at the unconscious actions.

Dear God, it wasn't even the way he spoke softly on the phone to lord knew who, and the smile that played across his face, crinkling the laugh lines around his eyes, making Jared equal parts jealous and so hard he had to escape so he could take care of his not so little problem.

Jared had come to the conclusion that Jensen was going to be the death of him. Every time he walked past the solarium, he was drawn to the doorway like a magnet seeking a piece of metal. Jensen left the door open once Jared told him he didn't mind the paint smell, not that there was much anyway since it wasn't oil based, but he'd realized Jensen asked before doing anything and that was something he hoped would soon stop once he felt more comfortable in his new home.

Big mistake!

Jared would try to pass the door without looking because if he looked, he stopped, but he'd yet to manage it. Each time, he'd catch a whole new facet of Jensen to become enthralled with and be drawn in. First, it had been the flex and shift of muscles across his shoulders when he lifted a new canvas onto the easel or stroked the brush through the paint. Then, it was the slim hips and tight ass perched precariously on the edge of the stool as he worked on what might have been a moon lit plain. It was hard to tell most days when Jared couldn't take his eyes off the painter to look at the painting long enough to appreciate it.

Today though, today was going to break him, Jared was positive.

Jensen was in his usual jeans and short sleeved t-shirt again. He had learned rather quickly that not only did Jensen hate to wear long sleeves when he painted, but pregnant people were apparently hot by nature, and he meant that literally. His teeth would chatter in the morning getting out of bed and when he checked the thermostat it was set on sub zero temperatures only to have Jensen ask him why it was so hot in the house. Jared had learned after turning it back up the first time to never do it again and opted for more layers, since losing precious body parts to a pregnant hormonal ridden spouse was not an option of choice.

He leaned against the doorjamb, watching the sunlight play across lightly tanned skin, the beams catching on the almost invisible dusting of fine blonde hair across Jensen's arms. Every time he moved, the sun would wash over them causing a golden glow that seemed to envelope his husband and made Jared's heart ache in his chest. Jensen had moved his easel in front of the many windows and Jared could see the look of intense concentration in the furrow between his eyebrows and the set of his jaw. He smiled as Jensen's nose wrinkled in distaste at something only he could see, the freckles splashed across the bridge dancing along with the action.

Jared wanted to run his fingers over each one before following the path with his tongue. His eyes searched out all the places he could find those little spots, each new discovery making his body tighten and crave what he couldn't have, at least not right then. Jared dropped his eyes to the painting, noticing for the first time that it was a depiction of an area in the backyard, that although the garden wasn't blooming, it still had a natural beauty that Jensen was well on the way to capturing.

He moved a little closer, having caught sight of yet another cluster decorated with light brown spots. Jensen's fingers were wrapped around his paintbrush, the strokes flowing along the canvas on a path only he knew, stopping to add more paint when needed.

It was when he hovered over an area not yet touched that Jared could see the freckles fanning out over the knuckles of his hand. They were sprinkled across the tops of each bony protrusion and slid into the valleys between, hidden until he moved his hand just right, and then they would tease their way into view.

Jared wasn't sure if he could take much more material for his nightly masturbation fantasies. He tried to stifle the groan that made its way past his chest and up his throat, but wasn't 100% successful, if the tensing in Jensen's shoulders was any indication. Jensen looked back over his shoulder, blinking slowly like he was coming out of a daze.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's fine. Sometimes, I forget to stop. Did you need me for something?" Jensen asked, setting his brush down, and turning around so he was facing Jared.

"I was just wondering if you wanted me to make something for lunch before your doctor's appointment, or did you want to leave early and grab lunch on the way?"

"Oh." Jensen looked down at his watch, not expecting it to be almost lunchtime. "Um... whichever you want to do is fine with me."

"Your appointment’s not until four. I can make us some sandwiches, so if you want to keep painting, or if you want to clean up first you don't have to rush," Jared suggested.

"Yeah, that'll be good. I'll clean up in here, and after we eat, I can grab a quick shower before we leave," Jensen agreed, turning back around to start cleaning up.

During lunch, Jared noticed Jensen becoming more and more distracted, and he couldn't understand why. He still held up his end of the conversation, but Jared could tell something was bothering him. He waited to see if Jensen would mention it on his own, but even after the almost hour drive into the city where Jensen's doctor's office was located, he still hadn't mentioned what it was. Jared parked the car and watched as Jensen's knee bounce up and down for another few minutes, his hands clenching and unclenching in his lap, and when he looked back, Jensen was chewing a hole in his lip. The man was going to vibrate out of the car if he didn't calm down.

"Hey."

Jensen looked over, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his nostrils flaring as he took deep breaths in a bid to stave off what could only be panic.

"What's wrong?" Jared asked, turning around in his seat so he was facing his husband as much as possible.

"Nothing." Jensen's voice broke and he cleared his throat and tried again. "Nothing, I'm just a little nervous."

Jared was a little confused as to why Jensen would be nervous. "Is it because I'll be there?"

"No! Well, yeah, maybe a little, but that's really not it," he mumbled.

Jared sighed inwardly he wanted to offer not to be in the room to make Jensen comfortable, if that's what was needed. He just didn't know if he would be able to miss this part and not regret it for the rest of his life. That made him start thinking about just how many times Jensen had actually been to the doctor.

"Jensen, how many times have you been here?"

"Once, well, twice if you count the pregnancy test they did too."

"What do you mean they did too?"

"Well, the regular doctor sent me straight over here for another one just to be sure, and then they scheduled me for the first appointment after they made sure I was okay with them being my primary," Jensen explained.

"I thought you said you scheduled your appointments in the afternoon so you could do your errands early?"

"I do. I just haven't had to schedule but two," Jensen answered sheepishly.

Jared released the breath he'd been holding. He was at least a little less worried about Jensen's nervousness now that he understood where some of it was coming from. However, he felt like he was still missing something, and he wanted to know what it was before they went inside. They had plenty of time since Jensen had wanted to get there early so he could change all the paperwork around now that he was married and had moved. Jared was going to make sure the financial information was changed as well, but he'd take care of that later.

"Okay, but I don't think that's all of it. What else has you so worried?" Jared watched Jensen pale before dropping his eyes to look at his hands twisted in his lap.

"There's just so much that could go wrong, especially early on...." Jensen trailed off.

Jared's breath caught in his throat at the fear he heard. "Jensen, if that happened it would be... I can't even describe what that would be, but it wouldn't be your fault."

"I'm just scared that I'll do something to hurt the baby, or I won't know something is wrong until it's too late." Jensen spoke so quietly Jared had to lean forward to hear him.

Jared reached out, placing his hand on Jensen's shoulder. He didn't miss the slight flinch the action received but Jensen didn't pull away and Jared didn't either.

"There's nothing you would ever do to hurt our baby. You've even given up coffee, and if something were wrong, you would know it," Jared stated, absolutely convinced of both facts.

Jensen looked up at him with a mixture of relief, and hopefulness in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jared answered, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Jensen let out a long breath and nodded his head. "Okay, let's go get that paperwork taken care of." He smiled over at Jared, reaching for the door handle.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Jared thought walking the red carpet was hard, but walking into an office full of pregnant women had to be the hardest thing he'd ever done, and he wasn't even the pregnant one. He walked in after Jensen, since he had no clue where he was going or in what order things were done, but while one guy walking in wasn't a novelty, two were. Every single eye in the place swung their way, and although it wasn't what you would have called loud, it had gotten almost eerily quiet.

Jensen glanced over his shoulder as he stopped at the desk and smiled. "Sorry, I forgot to warn you about that."

Jared turned from his inspection of his surroundings and what seemed like hundreds of eyes, and focused back on Jensen. "Warned me about what?"

"The freak factor."

"Excuse me, the what?" Jared asked, his brow furrowing.

"There's no such thing," the receptionist said. "They're just wondering why in the hell they don't have anything at home that looks like one of you two."

Jensen blushed all the way from his neck to roots of his hair. "Ms. Mosley, I told you that has nothing to do with it, and you know it."

"And I told you, once they see you come in here a few times then it'll be old news, and they'll be asking you if you have heartburn and swollen ankles."

Jared couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face. The woman in front of them couldn't have been more than five foot six, and he could tell she was a force to reckon with.

"Now who might you be?" She asked, pinning him with a look that said she knew exactly who he was, and she wanted a good reason why she shouldn't come across the desk and give him a piece of her mind and maybe something else a little more lethal.

"I'm Jensen's husband, Jared Padalecki," he said by way of introduction.

"Oh, you are, are you?" She asked, arching an eyebrow and pursing her lips while she looked him over.

"Yes, that's why we got here a little early since I need to change my paperwork," Jensen cut in, bringing her attention back to him and away from Jared.

"Well, go ahead and sign in, and I'll be right back." She looked over at Jared one more time before moving in the direction of a wall full of clipboards.

"I feel like I've been sent to the principal's office," Jared whispered in Jensen's ear.

"Stop it," Jensen hissed, trying not to choke on a laugh as the lady being referenced was headed back their way.

"Here you go sweetheart. If you don't finish them before they call you back, just drop them off on your way out."

Jensen thanked her and they made their way to a set of seats in the corner, so they were at least out of the main line of sight. Jensen spent the next few minutes filing out paperwork, and then he hit the medical page again, thankful that this time he didn't have to leave half of it blank.

"Hey, can you fill your section out on this one?"

"Yeah. What is it?"

"It's the family history for the medical. I mean, I know some of it from Jeff and your parents but some things are specific to you, and I had to leave them blank last time," Jensen admitted a little bashfully.

Jared's heart stuttered at how hard it had to have been for Jensen to fill out the forms and not know information that would be important to the health of his, of their child. He knew what it would have done to him and Jensen had always been far more sensitive, especially considering both of his parents had passed away from health issues.

Once he had filled his section of the questionnaire out, he glanced over to make sure Jensen was still occupied with the rest of his. Jared slid the blue sheet loose to look at the insurance information and how Jensen had the financial responsibility listed. He was dismayed to see not only was Jensen still listed as the person solely responsible for his medical bills but the insurance section was blank. Jared knew Jensen did well with his paintings but he wasn't well off either and it never even crossed his mind that he might not have medical insurance, although with Jensen being self employed and in the arts, it probably should have, since it's not an easy business at the best of times.

Jared couldn't even fathom how Jensen thought he was going to do everything on his own. A regular pregnancy was expensive as hell, but a male pregnancy was astronomical with all the extra tests and precautions.

He knew because he'd researched every damn thing he could get his hands on as soon as he had found out about Jensen being pregnant. His mind drifted back to the conversation with the woman in the art gallery and he had a pretty damn good idea why that painting was still hanging on the wall. It made him both sad and angry that Jensen had felt he needed to go that route. He quickly filled out his information in the secondary responsibility section and as much of his insurance information as he could remember without pulling out his wallet.

He'd decided he'd take the forms to the desk and let Ms. Mosley copy his card, and maybe he could defrost some of the ice she was aiming his way. Jensen was just finishing up his last sheet when the nurse called his name.

"Go on back, I'll drop these off and be right there," Jared offered, almost relieved he wouldn't have to explain what was taking him so long at the desk.

"Okay, I'll let the nurse know so she can show you where I'm at when you're finished," Jensen agreed, making his way to the waiting nurse, ignoring the many eyes from the other patients that followed him.

Jared quickly made his way to the desk. He didn't want to miss anything, but he needed to take care of the paperwork now.

"Excuse me," Jared said, catching the receptionist’s attention.

"Did he get it all done before they called him back?"

"Yes ma'am, and I need to give you my insurance card so you can make a copy. They probably won't pay but half since it's a pre-existing condition but......"

Ms. Mosley took the offered card with an acknowledging nod and quickly made a copy. When she handed it back, she gave him a guarded smile.

"Is he doing better with the morning sickness?"

"It seems to be easing some but the mornings are still tough," Jared confided.

"They always are. Ashley should be right up to take you back to be with him."

"Okay, I filled out my information as secondary on the financial for after insurance, if you could make a note to split the bill in half. I'd do it all but I have a feeling Jensen would take my head off. We haven't really had time to talk about that type of stuff." Jared ground to halt, embarrassed at his uncharacteristic rambling and to a complete stranger none the less.

The receptionist just looked at him for a few seconds, which felt like hours to Jared, before a huge grin spread across her face.

"You just might work out after all," she mused.

Before he could ask what she meant, the nurse returned to take him to the back. When they rounded the corner, Jensen was fidgeting in a chair like he was ready to bolt given the first opportunity. The nurse took her seat and Jared slid into the one beside him.

"Hey. You okay?" He asked, nudging Jensen with his shoulder.

"Yeah, I just don't like needles all that much," Jensen confessed, nodding at the tray sitting on the table beside the nurse.

"Have they already taken your blood?" Jared asked, searching Jensen's arms with his eyes for tell tale signs.

"No, the only thing we've done is the urine sample," Jensen mumbled, blushing a little. "I figured you'd want to be here for the rest."

Jared nodded as the nurse started asking Jensen what he assumed were routine questions about dizziness and nausea. She took his temperature and his blood pressure as well as his weight and then came the needle. He wasn't expecting Jensen to reach out and grab his hand right before the nurse slid the needle in, but it made him feel like nothing else ever had. Jared was beginning to think they were going to bleed Jensen dry before they were finished, as many vials as they were taking, but after the fifth one, the nurse finally withdrew the needle and Jensen finally relaxed his grip a little but didn't let go completely. He wasn't even sure if Jensen realized he was still holding his hand.

The nurse showed them into the room to wait for the doctor and Jensen proceeded to put on the gown and cover up with the attractive blue blanket they'd left on the end of the table. Jared wandered the room looking at the pictures that showed the stages of a male pregnancy and what to expect. He'd scoured the internet and seen most of them already, but looking at Jensen with only a thin gown and a blanket wasn't going to do him any favors, so he focused on the pictures instead.

He wasn't really sure what he expected when Dr. Agnit knocked on the door and entered with his nurse not far behind, but the giant in front of him wasn't it. He was very familiar with his credentials, but apparently the doctor had no use for his photo being plastered next to his work so the six foot six man towering over him with bright red hair and a beard was entirely unexpected and left him a little lost for words. He caught the snicker from across the room and shot Jensen a glare but received a wide-eyed look of innocence for his trouble.

"Hello, Jensen." Dr. Agnit reached out, shaking his hand before he turned and offered it to Jared. "And you are?"

"Jared Padalecki, Jensen's husband." Jared accepted the doctor’s hand, giving it a firm shake. He was, after all, used to Jeff towering over him for years, much to his chagrin, so he was able to recover quickly.

"Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you. I'm glad you could make it this time," the doctor said, genuinely pleased. "The more support during a pregnancy, the better things always goes. Isn't that right, Katie?" Dr. Agnit asked his nurse as he washed his hands and slid on a pair of gloves.

"Seems to be the case," she agreed, winking at them while the doctor was looking over the chart.

"So, Jensen, how have you been coming along?" Dr. Agnit asked after he finished looking over the notations the nurse had made earlier.

"I've been doing good. Still tired a lot, though."

"Well, that's normal. Have you been taking naps like I suggested?"

Jensen snuck a peak sideways at Jared, cringing at the decidedly unhappy face he was seeing.

"No, I've been really busy the last few weeks," Jensen confessed, focusing on the doctor. "I was going to slow down after my showing. There won't be as much to do then."

"Well, it's not hurting the baby Jensen, but it's not going to do you much good if you are exhausted all the time. Your body needs the extra sleep to compensate for all the changes it's going through and all the strain and drain the baby is causing to your system," Dr. Agnit explained.

"Some of that's my fault," Jared cut in, not wanting Jensen to take the blame for everything when it'd been his idea to get married so quickly.

"We just got married a couple of weeks ago, and trying to get two houses consolidated into one took some doing. I made sure he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't have been, but I didn't know he would have felt better if he'd been taking naps," Jared explained, giving Jensen a look that promised they'd be having a conversation about that later.

"So then some of the stress has already been removed, and all that's left is your showing?"

"Yes, once that's over, all I'll have is a class a few times a week to teach, and it's not anything strenuous," Jensen said after a slight hesitation.

"All right, but I'll expect to hear an improvement when you come back for your next appointment then. I hear you're still having trouble with the morning sickness."

"Yeah, it gets a little better in the afternoon. I'm still a little nauseated the rest of the day, but I don't get sick like, I used too."

"Well, we count any improvement that makes you more comfortable a win. If the morning sickness is already easing some then, hopefully, it will continue to do so until you're free from it completely."

"It would be nice to get up and eat again like a normal person," Jensen said, smiling.

"Okay, now that the question and answer portion of this date is over, let's get on to the fumbling stages," Dr. Agnit suggested, grinning as he stood up.

Jared nearly swallowed his tongue trying not to laugh but Jensen didn't even bother trying to hold it in. By the time he'd finished laughing, Jared had joined in and Katie was shaking her head but grinning at the doctor’s antics.

Jared watched as the doctor listened to Jensen's heart and his lungs, waiting patiently while the doctor took his time with both. He was already pleased with the focus that he was seeing going into Jensen's care, and although he was sure all the patients were treated with that same care, all he was concerned with was his husband. Jared was so caught up in his thoughts, he apparently missed what the next step was supposed to be because Jensen was lying back on the table and opening the robe he was wearing.

The doctor started pressing on Jensen's stomach at the top and worked his way around the sides and down to the base in what Jared assumed was a routine examination since no eyebrows were raised. His shot up though when the doctor pulled out a flexible measuring tape, he was getting ready to ask what in the hell the man thought he was going to measure, but was sincerely glad he held off when Dr Agnit put it at the top of Jensen's stomach and measured to the base. The doctor explained this was one of the ways they tracked the baby's growth without doing an ultrasound, and that even when they did one, they'd still be tracking it this way as well.

"When will you be doing an ultrasound?" Jared asked curiously, knowing most weren't done until around the fourth or fifth month.

"Well, a male pregnancy is much different, so we'll probably start doing them on the next visit. We want to make sure that Jensen's body is handling things well and see if the baby's developing on schedule." Dr. Agnit picked up a bottle and hand held machine.

Jensen groaned and Jared looked down at him worried that something was wrong.

"Don't forget what I told you last time Jensen. Sometimes, it's hard to find the heartbeat when the baby's this small, so don't panic if we can't find it right away."

"Did you figure out how to warm that stuff up yet?" Jensen whined.

"Nope, afraid not," the doctor said, right before he squeezed a glop of gel onto Jensen's stomach.

Jensen's quick intake of breath prompted Jared to reach over and stick his finger in the gel shivering at the frigid temperature. "Jesus," he whispered.

"No kidding," Jensen grumbled.

"We keep it in the refrigerator just for you," Dr. Agnit said as he turned on the machine he was holding and started to press the wand onto Jensen's stomach.

"I know. I'm thinking of filing a complaint," Jensen informed him, sucking in another breath as the doctor spread the gel further along his stomach with the wand.

"Sure you are, then who would give you all the cool band aids and lollipops at your office visits?"

Jensen rolled his eyes and grinned in spite of himself. He really couldn't have picked a better doctor. If you had to suffer the indignity of such exams for the well being of yourself and your child, it might as well be entertaining. He looked up at Jared who seemed to be vacillating between amused and confused, but about the time he was going to reassure him that everything was fine, the first little woosh woosh came through the monitor.

Jared was so focused on watching what the doctor was doing and listening to them banter back and forth that when the monitor crackled to life, he jumped, not expecting it. The noise at first was low and staticy, but as the doctor pinpointed where the baby was hiding and pressed down a little harder, the sound changed to a steady whooshing sound, almost like someone dragging their feet through mud puddles, but in a steady rhythm.

"Is....." Jared cleared his throat and tried again. "Is that the baby's heartbeat?"

"Yep, going nice and strong," the doctor said, leaving it there for just a little longer before shutting it down and wiping the goop off Jensen's stomach.

"Go ahead and get dressed Jensen, and then if you two will meet me in my office, we'll go over the results of your tests so far. You remember where it is?"

"Yeah, two doors down the hall right?" Jensen asked as the doctor helped him sit up.

"That's right. I'll see you both in a few minutes," the doctor said as he left the room.

Jensen looked at Jared's far away expression and smiled. "It's amazing isn't it?"

"I don't even think that's a strong enough word for it. I mean, you told me, and I believed you, but it's different when I can actually hear the proof you know?" Jared answered dazedly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jensen said as he went behind the curtain to change.

Once they were seated in the doctor's office, Dr. Agnit picked up the chart and quickly read over the test results.

"Jensen, your iron levels are low. Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins and the iron pills like you’re supposed to?" Dr. Agnit asked, looking at him over the rim of his glasses.

Jensen flushed and bit his lip, "I've been taking the vitamins but not the iron pills," he mumbled.

Jared gaped at him for a second before finding his voice. "Why not?"

He knew there had to be a good reason. Jensen did everything he was supposed to, including not drinking his coffee, so he couldn't understand why he wasn't taking his iron pills if that's what the doctor was telling him he needed to do.

"They make me feel even sicker," Jensen said miserably.

"All right, this is what we're going to do," the doctor said, leaning back in his chair. "I'm giving you until the next visit to get it up naturally and that means eating lots of vegetables and a protein rich diet. If it's not improved when you come back, we'll change the dosage on the iron pill, and you can try taking them at night. That way, maybe you can sleep through the nausea."

"Okay, " Jensen answered quietly, but he wouldn't look at the doctor or Jared.

Jared was beginning to wonder what it was going to take to regain eye contact with Jensen, but he finally looked up at the doctor when he was outlining what he wanted to see on his next visit.

"If you have any questions or something's not working, call this time okay? Don't let it wait until you come back," Dr. Agnit cautioned.

"Heartburn," Jared blurted out, stopping in the doorway.

"Excuse me," Jensen and the doctor said at the same time.

"Jensen was having problems with heartburn a week or so ago. Is there anything he can take?"

"Sure," the doctor said, addressing his answer to them both. "You can take anything over the counter, or if it gets really bad, call me and I can prescribe something for you."

"Oh, okay thanks," Jensen said, taking his chart from the doctor so he could check out.

When they got to the front desk, Jensen handed over his card and waited for the receipt so he could sign it. He glanced at the total as he was signing his name and almost tore a hole in the paper trying to figure out why the total was considerably less than the payment plan they'd set up to cover the cost over the nine month treatment. He glanced back at Jared leaning back against the wall and decided to call them later to straighten it out, not wanting to do it where Jared would overhear. It wasn't that he was hiding things, well okay he was, but he just didn't want to make something special about money.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner at Jared's parents had gone smoothly, not that it'd been a big concern in the first place. Jared had told them about the doctor that was taking care of Jensen and the baby, which reminded him they still needed to discuss finding a pediatrician. Jensen was content to let him do most of the talking, dropping a few facts in now and again when he thought they were important. His mom smiled at him when he told them about hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time and how it was starting to sink in that there was really a baby in there. He knew he didn't sound like himself, he didn't typically gush, but he was pretty sure she understood how he was feeling.

Jared was finally able to get his dad alone a little while later when Jensen mentioned something about stopping by the center to see Chris and Steve. His father actually wanted to hear about the center, but Jared knew his mom and Jensen would get caught up talking and this was his chance, plus his mom would fill his dad in later about everything that she and Jensen had talked about.

"Okay son, how about you tell me what was so important!" Jerry stated, taking a seat on the couch in his office.

"I need to know what you remember about two years ago or so?" Jared asked, settling down in the chair across from his dad.

"About what?"

"Jensen."

"You had him investigated?" His dad's voice rose, anger starting to creep across his features as he realized what Jared was referring to.

"No! You know me better than that. I had his financial portfolio investigated," Jared held up his hand, knowing his dad was going to tell him that was just as bad.

"Not for the reasons you're thinking either. I found out he was going to be having a showing and when I was able to get a look at his paintings......... God dad! Have you seen them?"

Jerry shook his head. "No, I've never been to his house, and well, Jeff was never home so it was pretty pointless to go to his. If we wanted to see him, we went by the hospital. I just figured, you know, once things settled down we'd eventually get to see some of what he'd done. We always knew he was good. Donna used to show us his drawings from school, and he always took first place. So why did you have it done?" He finally asked, watching his son closely.''

"I wanted to invest in what my soon to be husband was doing, and I really wanted a couple of those paintings, but I didn't have any idea how much his work was going for. My pockets only go so deep without prior planning," Jared informed as he got up and moved around his dad's desk to boot up the computer.

"Okay, but still, why didn't you just ask him?" Jerry questioned.

Jared really couldn't help the have you lost your mind face he knew he was wearing when he looked up from the computer. "This is Jensen, we're talking about, the same Jensen that refused to let you pay for his college tuition. The same Jensen that financed his stay in Paris. You wanted me to just ask Jensen about buying some of his paintings?" Jared asked incredulously.

"Well, when you put it that way......." Jerry said with a smile, remembering how well those past conversations with his son in law had gone and how creative he'd had to get to help without Jensen finding out.

"That's what I thought," Jared huffed, typing in the website for the gallery.

"So what did you want to know?"

"I didn't have anything personal looked into, but I know something happened, and it had to have been bad. I want him to trust me enough to tell me himself, but I have this nagging feeling I'm running out of time and I'm not sure why."

"Why do you think something bad happened?" Jerry asked, leaning forward, concentrating on his son.

"Just a gut feeling and basic body language really. There was a gap of over two years when he didn't have any showings. It was like Jensen just dropped off the map professionally, and it was when he was really starting to make a name for himself. It just doesn't make any sense, and I thought maybe you'd remember something since Jeff was still living here half the time."

Jerry sat back for a few minutes trying to organize a time line in his head.

"Well, like I said, Jeff lived at the hospital more than he lived anywhere else, and when Jensen left for Paris, he didn't really make any trips back home except for Jeff's graduation."

"You said something happened that night right?"

"I also said neither your brother nor Jensen was the sort to make a fuss, but I know Jeff had been trying to get up with him for awhile and was getting really frustrated about not being able to get through."

"He must have, though, because Jensen was there," Jared reasoned, brow furrowed.

"I don't think so because Jeff seemed surprised that he made it, actually. I know he didn't stay long after the party either, and I think that made your brother even more uptight. Which now that I think about it is really strange behavior but I guess I just figured he still had classes or something, since I didn't know how schools worked over there."

Jared scrubbed a hand over his face and thought back to the same time period, but couldn't remember his brother ever saying anything about Jensen. Of course, he wasn't home very much, and when he was, he was typically working, which just made him feel even shittier than he already did over how things had been over recent years. He knew Jeff had been just as busy, but it didn't help ease his guilt at not being able to make up for it before it had been to late.

"Do you remember anything else?" Jared had a little more to work with but every bit helped.

"Not really. The only other thing I can think of is not long after Jensen moved back here, Jeff came home one weekend and got plastered."

"I remember that," Jared said, sitting up straight in his seat. "He came over to the house, and I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Jeff never got drunk like that. He didn't want to risk them needing him at the hospital and not being able to help out. I asked him what was wrong, but he never would tell me."

"Yeah, it wasn't long after that Jeff said Jensen was back, and that he had been in a car wreck. I remember thinking the boy couldn't catch a break because it was right after Donna died, and he'd been at the house getting her things in order."

"Jensen was in a wreck?"

"Pretty bad one too. We couldn't even see him for several weeks he was in ICU, just about drove your mom crazy."

"Where the hell was I?" Jared asked, frustration at being the only one not to know what had been happening so long ago and terror at coming so close to losing Jensen before he'd ever gotten the chance to really know him.

"I think that's when you were overseas shooting in Uruguay or Africa, I can't remember exactly. You were gone almost nine months, though."

"Jesus Christ," Jared breathed, sagging in the chair, trying to will his heart beat to slow down and his blood to start flowing back into his extremities. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Jared, how many times did you actually get a decent connection when you were filming that movie?"

"Oh yeah." Jared remembered breaking one of his cell phones in frustration when he was trying to call his mom on her birthday. He'd gotten a sum total of five clear calls out in the nine months they'd been filming in the back of the beyond. Who said it was only the actors that suffered for their art?

"By the time you got home, you were half wasted away. Your mom was trying to put meat on your bones, Jensen was fine, and he and Jeff were dating," Jerry shrugged.

"I guess," Jared mumbled. "Still would have been nice if someone had told me."

"You always did hate not being in on the secret didn't you? Now did you get that web site up yet?" Jerry asked, moving around the desk to take a look at his son in law’s paintings.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen couldn't understand how he'd become so dependent on Jared's presence. It wasn't like he hadn't lived alone. Hell, even when he'd been living with Jeff, they could go a week without spending a single night in the bed at the same time. Between Jeff's hospital shifts, and his penchant for painting whenever the inspiration struck him, they kept odd hours at the best of times. The fact remained that the first night Jared was out of town on his business trip, Jensen didn't sleep worth shit, and after two hours of sitting in front of a blank canvas with a clean brush, he sighed in frustration, giving it up as a lost cause.

He wandered into the living room and curled up in the corner of the couch, grabbing the blanket off the back and pulling it across his body, and digging between the cushions for the remote. Jensen flipped through the channels, all nine hundred of them, finding nothing but infomercials, uninspiring porn, and awful movies that even he wouldn't watch, and he loved C grade movies. Jeff used to tease him when it was his turn to choose what they were watching when it was movie night, but he'd always settle down on the floor with the popcorn and watch them with Jensen anyway. He finally settled on one of the home shopping channels, turning the volume down so low he could barely make out the murmur of voices. He leaned back, closing his eyes trying to decide where he wanted to put his last three paintings in the gallery, but fell asleep before he could ever get the first one decided.

**************

Jensen was sure he was going to go out of his mind. He'd spent the last two days arranging and rearranging his paintings, trying to get them in just the right place. Sophia had threatened to never make him a cup of hot chocolate as long as he lived, and he thought he overheard Chris telling Steve he was getting the rope out of the truck when Jensen wanted to move one of the larger paintings for the fifteenth time. That had been six hours ago, and since then the gallery had been transformed. There were thousands of twinkling white lights and draped fabric everywhere, tables were set up with snow white tablecloths, weighed down with food and surrounded by the rich and beautiful looking to add to their collections or just wanting to be seen.

He'd actually had to rent a tuxedo at the last minute when the gallery decided they wanted the showing to be more glittery in exchange for doing Jensen's favor. He still wasn't altogether pleased with that fact, but he'd been able to work it so there would be free publicity for the center in the form of flyers announcing the grand opening, and part of the gallery’s proceeds were going to the center as well. Chris and Steve both had to be there and wear tuxedos so Jensen felt he at least had company in his wardrobe misery. The thing he'd learned early on about most people that frequented such events were they liked to spend their money and look good doing it, so if playing along helped the center, Jensen figured he could suck it up for one night.

Jared had called him every morning and night to see how he was feeling and if everything was okay. Erin and Preston had actually had to start later than expected on the bookshelves and storage units because of an emergency job so Jensen hadn't been completely alone and Jared had wanted to know how things had been going. Jensen hadn't really known what to expect from the brother and sister, but half the first day had been spent sitting around the kitchen table discussing the various arts and designs they all lived and breathed, so he could tell Jared things were going great.

Jensen never asked him if he thought he'd make it home in time for the showing, not wanting to get his hopes up, and Jared never offered any comment. Strangely enough, Jensen was thankful that he wasn't given empty promises, not that he didn't think Jared wouldn't try his level best to be there. Jensen knew he would, but he'd never been able not to pin his belief on something once it was promised, even when he knew it was a flat out lie, and he knew only too well how badly that hurt.

He was very happy that this evening had been invitation only because his face was hurting from smiling, his feet and back were killing him, and he really needed to pee. Knowing there was an end to the number of people in the line was someone comforting. Jensen was thrilled to see that Chris and Steve had been holding court almost as much as he had, and if things went well, maybe they could get that other wing open sooner than anyone imagined. The thought made him smile in spite of the fact that his glass only held spring water when usually three glasses of champagne were needed to get him through the meet and greet portion of the evening.

*********************

Jared didn't know how Chad had pulled it off, but he'd have to figure out a really great bonus. Only this time, he wasn't going to be stupid enough to ask him to pick a color, seeing as he had to look at the damn car every day too, which was probably one of the reasons Chad refused to let him paint it.

He was pretty sure he wasn't the only reason Chad had managed to rearrange their whole schedule so they could both be on an afternoon flight out, giving them just enough time to get home grab a shower, change, and only be an hour or so late. No, Chad was trying to get there too, since Jensen had made sure to have an invitation with his name specifically spent to the office. Jared had just rolled his eyes since he could have given it to him when he went to work. Jensen had told him it was the thought behind the gesture, and obviously he was right.

Chad had managed what Jared would have said was impossible just two days ago, and he was now standing in the very back of the room, having snuck in a side entrance. He wanted the opportunity to watch Jensen in his element without Jensen worrying he needed to entertain him. Jared could tell that, even though he was good at the small talk and rubbing elbows, Jensen was far from comfortable with it. He'd bet money, if he'd been allowed to, that Jensen would have come in paint splattered jeans and shirt, and hidden in the corner.

Jared was afraid Chad was going to blow his cover when he walked in the door, but Jensen's face just lit up, and he introduced him to two men that Jared could only assume were Chris and Steve. He was just about to make Jensen aware that he was there when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He stopped for a second, frowning at the sense of purpose the man exhibited as he made his way towards Jensen. Even from this distance Jared could tell his sole focus was on his husband, and he watched the man snake his way across the room. He was holding a champagne glass in one hand and his other was stuffed casually in his pocket but there was no denying he only had one destination in mind.

Jared couldn't figure out what it was that was bothering him since the moment he'd spotted Jensen, he'd watched his husband be sought after by one person after another and Jensen had handled each and every one with an easy grace, even with his own unease, that fascinated him. He hung back, watching as the man approached Jensen, waiting to see if it was someone his husband knew. Jared didn't know why but he had a feeling that this was an answer to one of many questions he had about Jensen's past.

*****************

Joshua had spent weeks trying to get his hands on an invitation to the showing. He'd had to jump through hoops. He'd never had to as a Jackson, and it pissed him off, but he couldn't use normal channels and risk his probation. He'd slipped in through the patio entrance, showing his counterfeited invitation. Thankfully, there wasn't an actual list of names to be checked. Joshua spent the first hour dodging Jensen and the two guys from the shelter he'd discovered Jensen was involved with.

Joshua ground his teeth together as the last few people shook hands and patted Jensen's shoulder, as the blood rushed to Josh's head, rage boiling through his veins. Jenny knew how much he hated it when someone touched what was his, and there was no question that Jensen was his. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He couldn't cause a scene. It would ruin everything he'd been working toward for the last year. Joshua let the images of how he was going to punish Jensen cool his anger. He shifted his hand in his pocket to subtly adjust himself, the kaleidoscope of pictures setting his body on fire.

Once he was certain he would be Jensen's focus of attention, he picked his glass up and moved across the room, never taking his eyes off his destination.

*******************

Jensen was turned to the side, accepting another glass of water, so he didn't see the person approaching him, the hand on his elbow made him startle just a little. He turned around with a smile set on his face, prepared to answer whatever questions the patron may have, and almost dropped his glass. Joshua stood in front of him a smug smile spread across his face, his hand outstretched in a facade of introduction.

"What are you doing here?" Jensen asked, trying to breath past the panic crawling up his throat.

"I told you I'd be seeing you again. Aren't you going to shake my hand, Jenny?"

Jensen looked down at the offered hand and then back up, glancing around the room quickly to make sure no one had noticed anything out of the ordinary. He slipped his hand into Joshua's, shuddering as the other man's closed in around his, tightening until his knuckles ground together. Jensen had to grit his teeth to keep from hissing in pain, refusing to give him the satisfaction of showing how much it was actually hurting. Josh kept the pleasant smile on his face the whole time. Jensen felt like he was going to throw up, and it had nothing to do with being pregnant.

Joshua finally released his hand, and Jensen slid it into his pocket so he could flex his fingers, trying to restore the blood flow and determine if the bastard had managed to do more than cause just a temporary ache. He thought he was through with having to self diagnose, but apparently, there was no end to things that were lining up to shock him.

"How did you get an invitation?"

"Jenny, you should know I can get anything I want," Josh said, reaching his hand out.

Jensen stepped back so Josh's hand fell short of its goal, and the angry furrow that appeared between Joshua's brows caused a shiver to run up his spine.

"You know, this violates your parole. You can't be anywhere near me. There are a hundred witnesses," Jensen growled.

"I have a hundred more that say I was on the other side of the country at a charity event. You know how this works sweetheart, it wasn't that long ago you were watching from the inside."

"Fine you're here. You've made your point. What do you want?" Jensen asked, happy that his voice stayed steady when he felt like he was going to shatter at the faintest noise.

"What do I want? I want you Jenny?" Joshua purred.

***************************

Jared watched as the man reached out and placed his hand on Jensen's elbow, a primal urge forcing his feet forward a few steps before he could stop himself. He waited, not wanting to interrupt a possible sell or if this was someone Jensen was friends with, but when his husband turned around, the smile that had been on his face slid away. Jared watched Jensen's face pale and the glass he was holding started to shake. When he looked down at the hand he was being offered and then glanced around the room, Jared had seen enough.

He started moving forward, keeping his motions smooth and slow so as not to draw attention to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin Jensen's night, and he wanted to get close enough to get a good look at the man that was having such a detrimental effect on Jensen. Jared continued to watch the interaction, his teeth clenching as the skin of Jensen's hand turned white where the other man's grip was too tight.

***************************

Jensen took a step away from Josh, his back meeting a solid wall of warmth, an arm snaking around his waist, pulling him in and snuggling his body against it. He stiffened until he recognized the subtle smell of cologne and a scent he could only term as Jared surrounded him. He relaxed a fraction, allowing Jared to take some of his weight, relief that he wasn't alone making it easier to relinquish some of the control he tried to hold so tightly in his grip.

Jared watched as the man pulled himself to his full height, his eyes moving from Jensen's posture to his arm wrapped around Jensen's waist. He saw a dark rage flicker across his face before it was buried behind a saccharine smile.

"Hey, baby, sorry I'm late," Jared said, leaning down to place a kiss on the side of Jensen's neck.

Jared felt Jensen shiver and lean a little further back into him.

"Well, Jenny, aren't you going to introduce us?" Joshua asked watching the interaction with barely restrained fury.

Jared felt the tension zing through Jensen's body, and he wanted to reach out and yank a kink in the bastard’s neck, but he decided to wait to see how Jensen wanted to handle things. He had a feeling it was very important to let his husband deal with this problem as much as possible, but he was damn sure going to be here to support him because there was no denying the fact that this guy was a problem.

"Jared, meet Joshua Jackson. Joshua, this is Jared Padalecki." Jensen waved the hand holding the glass between the two. He snuck his other out of his pocket and wrapped it around Jared's arm, keeping it firmly in place over his stomach.

"Jared Padalecki, the producer?" Joshua asked.

"Yes, that's me," Jared answered, watching as Joshua looked at him expectantly.

Jared had a feeling, either he was waiting for him to expound on his relationship to Jensen, or he was meant to recognize the name, and while the name did sound familiar, he couldn't place it at the moment. As for telling Joshua who he was in Jensen's life, he was going to have to ask, something Jared knew was going to piss the other man off.

Joshua was angry and getting angrier by the second, but he needed to know what he was dealing with so he set his jaw and schooled his features into a passive expressions.

"So, exactly what are you to Jensen?" He asked, sipping his champagne trying to keep up the facade.

"I'm his husband," Jared smiled, making sure every one of his teeth were showing.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared was proud of the fact he hadn't growled when he'd laid claim to Jensen. He'd felt Jensen stiffen slightly at his words and then relax completely. If he wasn't positive that this was so important, he would have shouted at the trust Jensen's body language was screaming. Jared could see the fury building behind Joshua's facade, and knew from the tension he could feel starting to thrum through Jensen's body that he could see it as well. He watched a mask pull down over Joshua's face any actor would give his eye teeth for.

"Congratulations! May I ask when the happy occasion was?" Joshua asked.

"We were married just last month," Jared answered, leaning down to lay a kiss behind Jensen's ear. "But we've known each other for years."

"Really? How very interesting. Well, it's been an enlightening evening, but I have a meeting in the morning, so I'm going to have to make it an early night. Jared, it was a pleasure to meet you, and Jensen, your paintings, as always, are breathtaking and I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon," Joshua said, setting his glass down on the table and inclining his head before he turned and made his exit.

Jared had felt Jensen go stiff as a board when Joshua mentioned seeing him again. He didn't know what was going on, but he intended to get to the bottom of it, sooner rather than later.

"Well, that was interesting," Jared quipped as he watched Joshua leave.

Jensen leaned back a little and sighed. "You'd like an explanation, wouldn't you?"

"It'd be nice," Jared murmured, resting his cheek on top of Jensen's head.

Jensen sighed again before he pulled away enough to turn in Jared's embrace. "Can we wait until we get home?"

"Sure," Jared acquiesced. "I want you to meet someone anyway," he said as he caught sight of Eric and his wife a few feet away.

An hour later, Jensen had met not only Eric and his wife but the decorator who'd helped Jared with his room. When he tried to thank her, Kristen informed him she really hadn't done much. Jared had already known what he had wanted, and she had just helped him implement and tweak it. Jensen didn't think he'd ever felt so cared for as he did listening to Kristen talk about how Jared had worked to make him feel welcome in his new home.

Jared was finally able to meet Chris and Steve as well. Jensen was relieved in a sense that they'd had to wait until the showing to be introduced. Chris had been unable to slip into his grand inquisitor role he loved so much. As it was, Jensen had discovered after feeling like someone was watching him that Steve had been staring for quite some time. He'd been standing with Jared and talking to Kristen when he'd glanced around, nervous that Joshua had found a back way into the event and was going to ambush him again. Jared didn't seem at all bothered by the aggressive stance Chris took, or the blunt way in which Steve informed him he was being watched. Jared just smiled so wide his dimples danced across his face.

"Now that right there's not fair," Chris complained.

"What's not fair?" Jensen asked, confused.

"Fucking giant to start off with, and then he goes and smiles and had those," Chris pointed at Jared's dimples, disgusted.

"Yeah, well, you should have to deal with the puppy dog eyes is all I'm saying," a voice from behind them piped up.

Everyone swung around to find Chad standing a few feet away, watching the meeting with a critical eye.

Jensen grinned at his partner in crime. "He must save those for you. I haven't seen those since our teen years, and they were always aimed in another direction."

"Give it time. He's just waiting until you let your guard down, and then the next thing you know, he's hit you with the wobbly lip and the sad, dewy eyes. It's so pathetic, and I'm still looking for a proper defense," Chad bemoaned.

"I most certainly do not!" Jared exclaimed.

Chad ignored him in favor of grabbing another drink off a passing waitress' tray and turned back to Chris and Steve. "So, as I was telling you earlier, I get this bonus, right? Well, this guy asks me to name a color, so me, I spout off the color purple, not thinking about it much. You have to understand working for Jared is like working for the king of random. Anyway, two weeks later, I walk out the door to be presented with a purple convertible."

Chris snickered and Jensen grinned as Chad suddenly looked down at the floor sadness oozing from every pore. "I know, I do so much for him, and he treats me with such disrespect," Chad sighed loudly.

"I've asked you fifty times to let me paint that damn thing!" Jared exclaimed.

"Yes, but then how would I prove to all the people that sunshine truly does not shoot out of your ass?" Chad asked, lifting his head with a huge grin in place.

"I hate you!" Jared growled.

"No, you don't. You love me. Who else would do all your dirty work?"

Jensen laughed at Jared's outraged expression as he continued to watch the exchange along with his friends. He'd been keeping a close eye on his friends’ reactions as well and was happy to see they had both relaxed and some of the tension had seemed to ease from their posture. By the time Jared and Chad finished bickering, Steve and Chris had been pulled into the verbal sparring, and Jensen had been pulled to answer last minute questions when people started leaving.

The night finally ended two hours later, every painting having been sold, and a list of contacts to speak with over the next week. Chris and Steve had several business cards as well as another list of people who wanted to volunteer and/or make donations.

Jensen handed Jared his keys as soon as they walked out the door, taking a deep breath of cool, crisp air and heaving a long sigh. It had been a long draining night, and he was looking forward to going home, even if they still needed to talk about what had happened earlier. They rode in comfortable silence, both decompressing from their hectic day, the sound of the wheels on the road, hypnotic. Jared turned the heat up to combat the cool air coming in through the cracked window, something they had found helped combat Jensen's motion sickness when he wasn't driving.

Jared pulled up in front of the house and punched in the security code, glancing over at Jensen while he waited for the gate to swing open. As usual, his husband had a smile on his face as the lights started to blink on as the settings were activated. The first time Jensen had experienced the magic of Martino's brain child, he had been speechless in shock and awe. Now, every time he saw it, he would always smile and Jared never wanted to miss one of his smiles.

Jensen stood in the kitchen, not really knowing what to do with himself. He didn't know where Jared wanted to have the conversation, and he was trying to come up with how to start it anyway.

"Hey, why don't you go change and I'll make us some hot chocolate." Jared said as he shut the door and set the alarm.

"Okay, but why don't we both change, and I'll help you with the hot chocolate. I know you've been going non stop since you got up this morning."

"Like you haven't, but I could do with getting out of this monkey suit," Jared agreed.

They were both back downstairs, seated in the den with hot chocolate, fifteen minutes later. Jared had left the overhead lights off and only switched on the lamps beside the couch where they were both sitting. Jensen was curled in the corner at one end, his feet pulled up under him. Jared wondered if he was comfortable or if it was an unconscious effort to make himself smaller and able to see all angles of attack. He watched as Jensen took another sip of hot chocolate and then set the cup down, pulling his hands up into the sleeves of his sweat shirt.

"I met Joshua when I was in Paris. He would come by the gallery where I was doing my internship and look at the paintings."

Jensen stopped for a minute, toying with the fraying threads at the end of his sleeve. Jared waited. He wanted to know, but he wasn't going to push, he could tell this was not at all easy for Jensen to talk about.

Jensen laughed a little, the sound self depreciating and raw, making Jared cringe inside and wish he could tell Jensen it didn't matter. The memory of Joshua's face, though, cemented the fact in Jared's gut that it did matter. He promised himself that after he knew what he was up against, he'd do whatever had to be done to make up for what Jensen was going through now, and what he'd gone through in the past.

"It took me two weeks to figure out he wasn't interested in the paintings on the wall. He asked me out, and you know how well I do with that," Jensen said, smiling as he remembered some of his more disastrous dating days.

"I always wondered if you outgrew that phase."

Jensen shook his head and smiled, "I was so home sick, I was kind of desperate for anything familiar, so I took a chance I wouldn't flub it too badly."

"So, what happened?"

"It actually went well. Guess that should have been my first clue," Jensen said, picking his hot chocolate up and finishing it before setting the cup back down.

"What do you mean?"

"Joshua would come by every day and take me out to lunch or just visit. He'd send me flowers or bring me gifts. He was very charming. We dated for three months before...." Jensen stopped and looked up, watching how Jared was reacting to the information he was being given.

"I promise I'm not going to get angry. I can tell his visit upset you, and I want to understand why."

Jensen took a deep breath, "Joshua is my ex-husband," he said quietly.

Jared wanted to be shocked, but in all honesty, he'd been expecting something along those lines, not ex-husband status maybe, but an ex-fiance at least.

"Did Jeff know?" He asked.

He wasn't sure why it was important, didn't understand what either answer would make him feel, but he needed to know.

Jensen swallowed thickly, not sure what Jared was looking for in the answer, he instinctively knew he could only be honest with his husband. "Yes, he knew about Joshua before we started seeing each other."

Jared filed that away to examine later. "So, what happened that makes you so stressed just seeing him?"

"I left him. The thing is, Joshua doesn't take rejection well. He considers it losing, and he doesn't like losing."

"What happens when he loses?"

"Depends on what it was he lost at. When I left, there was stalking, property damage, threats, anything he could do to make my life miserable until we went to court. It's against his parole to be in the same state as me much less three feet away."

Jared sat for a minute thinking everything through. Parole meant conviction, but the way Jensen was beating around the bush, he was obviously not ready to go into detail about what exactly Joshua had been convicted of.

"So, he violated the conditions of his parole tonight. We can report him," Jared said, reaching for his phone but pausing when Jensen started shaking his head.

"It won't do any good," Jensen said wearily.

"Why the hell not?" Jared asked, getting angry.

"Because his parents are rich and powerful. He'll say he was in another state at a charity event with a room full of witness and they'll back him up."

"Jensen, I'm not exactly middle class and there was a room full of people who saw him tonight."

"No you're not, but you're not old money either. There's a big difference, believe me, and the people at the showing tonight wouldn't have been paying him any mind. He kept a low profile. I bet he didn't even talk to any one else. He's not stupid unfortunately, far from it, in fact." A shiver coursed through him just thinking about Joshua.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?" Jared asked.

"Up until a couple of months ago, it had been almost a year. I thought maybe he had moved on… Should have known better." Jensen looked up guiltily, knowing his admission was telling.

Jared scooted forward on the couch and pulled Jensen's hand away from the thread he'd been worrying.

"Jensen, I knew there was a reason you changed your mind about marrying me," Jared said reassuringly. I didn't care then and I still don't. I've got what I want. Do I want more? I'm not going to lie, you know I do, but I'll take what you're willing to give when you're willing to give it."

Jensen searched his face, for what he wasn't sure, but what he saw must have put his mind at ease.

"Okay," he said quietly, offering a small smile.

"So, how many times has he contacted you in the past two months?"

"Three, I think."

"You think?" Jared asked, perplexed.

"Well, I've had several hang ups and there's been a couple of times I thought someone was watching me, but I never saw him."

"Was this before or after we were married?"

"Before, I don't think he knew where I went. He must have missed me moving somehow. Maybe he wasn't watching as closely as it felt like he was," Jensen looked at him hopefully.

Jared didn't believe that for a minute, and he was sure it was only wishful thinking on Jensen's part.

"Do you know what he wants?" Jared asked, already fearing he knew the answer.

Jensen looked up at him with resignation in his eyes. "Me."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joshua left the gallery seething. He held onto his temper, knowing that if he called attention to himself, he wouldn't be able to regain what was his. He couldn't figure out how he'd missed something so important as Jensen getting married. The private investigator he'd hired had said the only person Jensen had been involved with had been Jeff Padalecki. So, when had Jared come into the picture? Jared could only be Jeff's brother. The resemblance was there, not the mention the surname since there weren't that many Padaleckis in the world.

He'd been watching Jensen off and on for over a month before he'd gone home to check in with his parole officer, and he'd only seen one person other than the girl that would visit, and it'd been too dark for him to see who it had been. Jensen hadn't been going out on dates and there certainly hadn't been men coming in and out of the house so the only explanation he could come up with is that Jensen had married Jared for a reason. What bothered him was why. Jensen hadn't run in over a year. Why would he start now?

Joshua sat in the car watching the people leaving the gallery, his brow furrowed in concentration. He had thought about following them, but then decided that was too obvious. Besides, it wouldn't be that difficult to find out where they were living. Joshua was pretty sure Jensen had moved into Jared's home. He figured even if they had bought someplace new, it still wouldn't be that hard to find out where. Thinking about Jensen in another man's house and another man's bed was enough to make Joshua grind his teeth and make the steering wheel creek under the force of his grip.

He was going to have to find someone to alleviate the stress that was weighing him down, not to mention the sexual tension of having what he wanted so close but not being able to do what he pleased with it

Joshua blew out a breath, and pulled into traffic, already placing a call to an escort service he'd used in the past. He'd take care of his dick first, and then he'd be able to concentrate on what he wanted to do next.

A shiver a pleasure ran through him as he remembered the body that was hidden away under the tuxedo Jensen had been wearing tonight. He smiled, knowing that no matter how far his Jenny ran, he would always have his marks to remind him who he truly belonged to until he was reclaimed.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen spent the next week taking it easy, making sure to take his naps when he started getting tired, and resting in between projects. He did not want a repeat performance of the day he'd gone to his doctor’s appointment. He didn't like feeling like a five year old being told he had been naughty, so he was endeavoring not to act like one just to get more accomplished. He'd promised Jared to listen to his body, and when he felt like he needed to lie down he would, no matter what he was in the middle of, within reason, of course.

One of the projects he'd been working on had been to get all his finished paintings he hadn't put up for sale stored in the new racks that Erin had completed. It had taken him the entire week just to sort everything and place them in the racks where he wanted them. Next, he needed to catalogue everything and figure out what to do with them all. The other thing he despised doing, and had been putting off, was naming each of his paintings. The galleries liked them to be named. He had tried Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3, but only received blank stares, so here he sat, trying to figure out what in the hell to call each one.

Jared walked in as he heaved another sigh, still glaring at the rows of paintings.

"Are you still pouting about having to name them?" Jared asked.

"I'm not pouting! I just don't understand why everything has to have a name," Jensen complained.

"Because your paintings deserve to have a name next to the image to compliment them, and no, you cannot just number them. They're too beautiful for that."

"Have you been talking to Sophia again?" Jensen asked, scowling.

"Do you realize you whine when you know you're beaten?"

Jensen took a sip of his tea, refusing to dignify the comment with a response, shooting a glare at Jared when he threw back his head and started to laugh.

"That's fine, you keep laughing. In fact, you can laugh while you sit here and help me name them," Jensen proclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't mind helping, but I don't think you should force it either. Do a few a day, or pick a section and pull some out and see if inspiration hits you."

"Jared, do you realize how many paintings are up there?"

"No," Jared stood up and started looking at the slots that were filled. He realized fairly quickly that there weren't many that were empty.

"You need more racks," Jared said, turning to catch Jensen's blush before he could hide it behind his cup. "Why didn't you have Erin build you more storage if you needed it?"

"I didn't know I had so many paintings stored away."

"We'll call Erin and see when they can come back. You're going to need at least two more," Jared said, looking around.

Jensen stood, going to one of the racks. He rubbed the back of his neck while he ran his eyes over the slots and stopped at one and pulled out a medium sized painting.

It showed a landscape of lush fields, dotted with wildflowers of all colors. A small stream flowed through and disappeared around a bend, but it was the sun rising behind it all, making it shimmer, that caught Jared's eye. No matter where he looked, the rays of the sun glimmered and breathed life into each stroke, reflecting light and an almost overflowing joy spilling from the canvas.

"How old is this one?" Jared asked, finally pulling his eyes away and looking over at his husband.

"I painted it the day the doctor told me I was pregnant. I thought you could help me name it," Jensen said softly, smiling as Jared looked back at the painting with a new reverence.

"Should we do it now or what until the baby's born?" Jared gently reached out, running his fingertips over the vibrant colors.

Jensen shrugged, shifting the painting so Jared could hold the other side, sliding closer so it was easier to grasp. The motion had him leaning into Jared's side, and Jensen couldn't help the small sigh that escaped when Jared shifted, supporting his extra weight, and cementing the connection even further.

Jared couldn't make up his mind if putting a name to the picture now wouldn't be regretted once they could combine it with the birth of their child. The longer he stood thinking about it, though, the more he realized that while the painting was about the baby, it was painted at an entirely different time in both of their lives.

"I think we should name it now." Jared glanced down, catching the smile of approval on Jensen's face.

"Okay, I was thinking maybe A New Day or something like that." Jensen squinted at the painting before looking over at Jared.

"What about A New Day Rising*" Jared asked, still fixated on the sun's rays.

"I like it. It was sort of how I felt too."

"What was how you felt?" Jared asked.

"That everything before had been.... before I guess, and this was new. Like a new start maybe. It's hard to explain, I tend to paint how I feel better than I can put them into words." Jensen ducked his head, a blush staining his cheeks.

"If this is what comes as a result I'm not going to complain, but I wouldn't mind hearing how you feel about things as well."

Jensen smiled as Jared put the painting back in its slot. "I've got a labeler up in the office. You could use to put the names on the back of the canvases," Jared suggested.

"That would be good," Jensen said, moving further down the rack and pulling out another painting to stare at.

"I'll get it and be back in just a minute."

"All right," Jensen answered over his shoulder. "We wouldn't want to have to go through this crap twice," he mumbled.

"I heard that." Jared's raised voice came from the hallway.

Jensen didn't bother responding. He just rolled his eyes and continued to look at the painting he was holding.

Jared came back a few minutes later with the labeler in one hand and his cell phone in his other. Jensen quirked his brow as Jared frowned, listening to the person on the other end. Jared handed him the machine and mouthed, he'd be back before disappearing into the hallway. Jensen couldn't help overhearing his side of the conversation though. Of course, standing by the door helped.

Jensen hadn't seen Jared this worried since Jeff took off that weekend with Aaron Matthews and made him promise not to tell anyone. On second thought, that weekend had ended with Jared breaking his knuckles on Aaron’s face and both Jeff and him being grounded forever. This was definitely not good! Jensen jumped back as he heard Jared snap his phone shut and move back his way.

"I know you were listening. You were never very good at the covert operations," Jared said, coming through the doorway.

"Jeff was always better at it," Jensen agreed. "What's wrong and don't even tell nothing because I know better. You have that crease." He reached up, running his thumb across Jared's forehead where his brow was still furrowed.

"Chad got a call from the security service. The alarm went off at the office."

"Does that happen often?" Jensen asked. He knew it hadn't happened in the month he'd been living there but that wasn't very long after all.

"No, matter of fact, it's only gone off three times in five years. Once was during a pretty bad storm, then there was a stray cat that got in through the venting system, the other was an actual break in."

"So, what happened this time?"

"Someone threw a brick through one of the windows. It set off the alarm, and they called Chad."

"Why did they call Chad instead of you?" Jensen sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs.

"I'm guessing Chad set it up that way, since I was traveling a lot, not to mention the fact he lives closer and can get there faster, although he still has to wait for the police."

"Is he going to call you back?"

"Yeah, once the police get there, and they have a chance to check everything out."

"Do you want to go down there?"

"Yes, but there's nothing I can really do. Chad's already calling someone for the window, and he'll stay there until the police are finished. He said if they needed me, he'd let me know."

"Okay, do you want to me to start lunch or do you want to wait for Chad's call?"

Jared thought about it for a few seconds. "How about we get dressed and head out that way, and then if Chad calls and doesn't need me, we can just grab something to eat while we're out."

"Sounds like a plan. If you want, we can try to swing by the center too. You've still not been able to see the place," Jensen suggested as he led the way up the stairs, so they could change.

"Do you think they'll be there today?" Jared raised his voice so Jensen could hear him in his bedroom.

"With a little under two weeks to go before the grand opening? I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't sleeping there," Jensen said through the open door.

It didn't take them long to get ready and be on their way. An hour after Chad's first call Jared's phone rang again, and he put it on speaker so that Jensen could hear as well. He explained that there had been a message attached to the brick and that the detective in charge was requesting his presence. Jared told him they'd be there in about ten minutes and hung up, looking at Jensen's pale face. He knew Jensen thought it was about him.

"Jensen, we have no idea what it's about. I've had threats before you know."

"Really? Why would you get threats?" Jensen asked around a dry throat.

"My job doesn't always make me the most popular of people. I've had threats from animal groups to the tree huggers, the self proclaimed Satan worshipers to the Catholic Church. It just depends on the subject matter of the film I'm producing at the time. There's no way you can make everyone happy, so I do my job and let it all shake out in the end. None of the animals we use are ever mistreated, matter of fact, I think they live better than some of the struggling actors I've worked with. The only injuries we've ever had have been minor, which is a record I intend to keep, so I have a clear conscience and I don't let it bother me," Jared stated, smiling a little as Jensen relaxed into the seat some.

"What if it's not, though. What if it's about me?"

"Well, then we'll deal with it together," Jared reassured, taking Jensen's hand and wrapping it in his.

When they arrived at his office, there were several cars parked in front, Chad's convertible, two marked police cars and an unmarked car. Thankfully, there were no media vans about. They made their way to the front door where Chad was talking with a man in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Detective Lloyd, this is Jared Padalecki and his husband Jensen," Chad introduced.

"Pleasure to meet you both," the detective said as he shook both their hands. "I wish it were under different circumstances. Please excuse the way I'm dressed, but I was the closest when the call came in and several of us had been loaned out for an undercover operation.

"Not a problem," Jared assured. "Can we go inside or should we stay out here?" He wanted Jensen sitting down if it was indeed connected with him.

"The crime scene unit has already been through the areas they needed and the uniforms are getting ready to leave. I believe Mr. Murray said something about coffee while he cleaned up so why don't we go inside?"

Chad pulled him back a step when he started to follow Jensen through the door. "I don't know what's going on but make sure Jensen's sitting down before you start talking."

Jared squeezed Chad's arm. He nodded and quickly followed the others heading straight back to his office.

Jensen was gaping at the picture window that was now shattered. Broken glass littered the floor, the desk, and covered a great distance into the room. Jared assumed whoever had thrown the brick put some heft into the throw for it to have gone this far into the room. Chad walked in, carrying the hand vacuum he usually pulled out after their descending into a popcorn frenzy and proceeded to run it across the couch and chairs. Jared caught the small shivers running through Jensen's frame as they heard the shards of glass being deposited into the canister.

Once Chad finished, Jared pulled Jensen toward the sofa, making sure that when they were settled his arm was around Jensen's shoulders. He could still feel the small shivers running through the tense body tucked next to his. He just hoped that the contact would help when the detective told them what they'd found.

"I know, Mr. Murray..."

"Call me Chad, please. Mr. Murray lives four states away and calls me every Sunday, way to early in the morning might I add," Chad complained as he walked back into the room, a tray of mugs in his hand.

Detective Lloyd inclined his head in agreement before taking the mug he was offered.

"Chad said that when he arrived, he didn't meet anyone coming down the drive and that there didn't appear to be anyone in the vicinity after walking around the entire building. Something I hope he won’t do again." The detective said pinning Chad with a glare.

"He knows better too. I've told him not to do anything until the police arrive." Jared scowled at Chad who just smiled and handed Jensen his mug.

"It's hot chocolate," Chad informed him as Jensen started to refuse.

Detective Lloyd's eyebrow rose, but he didn't make any comment as he continued to watch Chad finish handing out cups and gather more cleaning materials to work on the desks and computer while muttering about ruined finish and glass in the keyboard.

"So what exactly happened?" Jared asked once everyone was settled, and Chad was busy cleaning up the mess on the other side of the room. He knew Chad could hear them and Jared also knew that he'd be connecting dots as the interview continued.

"Pretty much what Mr..... Chad told you on the phone. Someone took a chunk of cement, not a brick, and wrote a message in red paint across it. Then, they stood a few feet away from the window and hurled it in."

"What was the message?" Jensen asked, setting his mug down. He wasn't sure he wanted to be holding it when the detective passed along what had been painted on the projectile.

Detective Lloyd consulted his notepad and then glanced between them.

"The message stated I'm coming for what's mine." The detective let it sink in a moment before he asked his question. "Do either of you know what it could be referring to?"

Jared shook his head after a moment. "I can't think of any projects we have that anyone has claimed to be theirs, which does happen on occasion, all of them unfounded at present. We check copyrights and legal documentation fanatically, but we haven't had that happen in a while."

He turned so he could double check with Chad. "How longs it been?"

"I'd say, about two and half, three years. The last one was Mrs. Armstrong, remember? She swore up and down the script was just like hers," Chad said, rolling his eyes.

"Mr.....," Detective Lloyd trailed off.

Jensen smiled even though he looked like he was about to pass out. "Padalecki, I took his name even though I haven't gotten around to changing everything yet. I'd prefer it if you called me Jensen, though. I've never been fond of the mister."

"All right, Jensen then. How about you? Do you know what the message is talking about?"

Detective Lloyd had been watching both the men's reaction when he delivered the message. Mr. Padalecki had glanced at his husband and tightened the arm he had around Jensen's shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down Jensen's arm. It was a comforting gesture, which could mean any number of things, and since he'd just met both of them, it was hard to tell exactly what it meant. Jensen, though, had paled noticeably and he could see the man's hands shaking even though they were clasped in together in his lap, more than likely to try and stop the tremors.

"I'm not sure, but the message might have been meant for me, or rather about me."

"How so?"

"I was married previously. The marriage didn't end well. My ex-husband isn't a very gracious loser," Jensen stated tiredly.

"How long ago was this?"

"The marriage ended almost two years ago."

"How long were you married?" Detective Lloyd continued his questions as he wrote in his note pad.

"We were married for a little over a year and a half."

"So, why exactly do you think your ex-husband would do this after all this time?"

"Honestly, I don't know why he decided to reappear. There's not only a standing restraining order, but also, part of his plea agreement that he can’t contact me in any way in order to stay out of jail and on parole."

Detective Lloyd took down several more notations, the thought that this would be a simple case of kids acting out quickly slipping away. Jensen was answering his questions, but he was being very careful not to be too specific, which was puzzling in and of itself. He wasn't sure if it was because his husband didn't know or that Chad was still in the room, but he was going to let it slide at the moment. Mr. Padalecki hadn't looked surprised at the news of an ex-husband, but he did look angry when his husband mentioned the parole and restraining order.

"What is your ex-husband’s name?" He finally asked, trying to think of how he could get his partner to do the research.

"Joshua Jackson," Jensen replied, looking like he was going to be sick just saying the other man’s name.

"Why would you think he's involved if he's not been in contact with you?"

Jensen glanced at his husband with a look of resignation, and Detective Lloyd knew he was finally going to get somewhere.

"He has contacted me," Jensen admitted, leaning against Jared.

Detective Lloyd heard the exhaustion in Jensen's voice, but he also heard the fear that underneath it all and how Jensen was trying to hide it. He was interested to see if Jensen had reported it, since he had a feeling he knew where this particular marriage had ended.

"Did he call you or did he come by to see you?"

"He's more the in your face type of guy," Jensen answered. "The first time I saw him, I was headed over to a friend’s place, and he was standing out on the street. He acted like it was a chance meeting, but I didn't really live in an area that Joshua would normally frequent."

"Did he approach you?"

"Yes, and yes. I told him he wasn't supposed to be talking to me or be anywhere near me," Jensen responded, a little bit of frustration leaking into his speech.

"You said the first time? Can you tell me about the others?"

Jensen sighed, but continued. "I came home a few days later and found a wrapped box on my doorstep. When I opened it, there was a teddy bear with a note attached to its neck."

"Do you remember what the note said?"

"Yes, it said Better luck next time, but the teddy bear was worse." Jensen shuddered.

"Why's that?"

"It was dressed in a ski outfit."

Jared had been quiet through it all, offering silent support and trying to stay calm as Jensen told the detective about his encounters with Joshua, but he could tell the detective was puzzled. He glanced over at Jensen to find him as pale as he'd been the day he came to tell Jared that he was pregnant. Jensen was biting his lip so hard, Jared was surprised he didn't see blood. He tightened his arm around Jensen, offering what comfort he could.

"Detective Lloyd," Jared started.

"Riley, please," the detective requested.

"Okay, and please call me Jared, Mr. Padalecki is too formal for anything other than contract negotiations. I feel like maybe I need to explain a little, since I'm sure you're confused as to why the teddy bear would be so disturbing. Three months ago, Jensen was engaged to my brother. On the eve of their wedding, Jeff was killed in an avalanche while we were skiing," Jared explained.

So I'm assuming the teddy bear was a way in which to hurt you or would you consider it a threat?" Riley asked Jensen.

"I don't know, he's never made things easy to understand." Jensen shrugged.

"Okay." The detective made another notation in is pad. "What else has happened?"

"Before I moved to Jared's house, I had several hang ups [prank phone calls] and there were some where I could hear someone breathing, but no one ever said anything. I had an unlisted number and everyone who knows it is aware that I do not give it out to just anyone. They wouldn't give it to anyone without my permission."

"Unlisted numbers aren't as hard to get nowadays as they used to be, not with technology the way it is," Riley reassured. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes, he managed to get an invitation to my showing a week ago," Jensen answered.

"What kind of showing? Did he do anything while he was there?"

"I'm an artist. I paint mostly landscapes and still lifes. One of the art galleries I'm associated with held a showing and silent auction for my work. As far as him doing anything to call attention to himself, no, he's not going to do that. He came over to speak with me during the reception," Jensen said, a shudder racking his body.

"Did he threaten you?"

"Not in words, no, but him being there was a threat, and he knows I'm well aware of it."

"Did you see Mr. Jackson, Jared?

"Yes, he was speaking to Jensen when I walked over, and he introduced himself."

"Were you aware that there were problems between your husband and Mr. Jackson?"

"Jensen told me after Mr. Jackson had already left," Jared answered. He could tell by the detective’s face, he didn't understand the nature of their relationship and was trying hard not to judge it at the same time he was trying to figure out where everything fit."

Jensen must have been thinking the same thing because he cleared his throat, pulling the detective’s attention back to his direction.

"Detective...., Riley," Jensen corrected himself before continuing. "Our marriage is a little unconventional. Jared and I have known each other since we were kids. My mother worked for his family, so we grew up together. Unfortunately, we grew apart when I moved to Paris to study art.

Events brought me back to the states, and I eventually reconnected with Jared's brother. Jeff and I started seeing each other a little over a year ago, until his death left a huge hole in both Jared's and my life. We didn't deal with it in the most responsible or mature manner, and I found myself pregnant with Jared's child. We decided that for us, the best option was marriage. Between my showing and Jared's scheduled projects, we're still getting to know each other better and figuring out how we fit together. I know that may seem strange and confusing to you and others, but it works for us."

Riley leaned back in his chair as he thought back over Jensen's revelations. He glanced over to where Chad was just finishing up the desk and was starting on the floor.

"Riley, Chad's my best friend as well as my assistant. He's pretty up to date on what's going on in my life, so you don't need to worry about whatever you'd like to say," Jared clarified.

Chad looked up to see everyone's attention on him. "That's just creepy," he said. "Don't you have better things to do than watch me work?"

Jensen laughed and Jared just rolled his eyes, but it helped break the tension. Riley returned his attention to the two men in front of him, watching the interaction that had been confounding him since the beginning. He could see the familiarity and the tentativeness in their touches now, that he hadn't been able to place before, and it helped him refocus on the case at hand instead of the signals he'd been trying to decipher.

"Did you report any of this?" Already having a strong suspicion what the answer would be.

"No," Jensen answered softly.

"May I ask why not?"

"It wouldn't have done any good. It was my word against his, and I've found in the past that he has plenty of people willing to lie for him," Jensen explained.

"Jensen there are ways to track his movements. I'm not sure how things were handled in the past, but you can rest assured if he's the one behind this then I'll find out. Do you still have the note or the teddy bear?"

"No, I burned them in the grill as soon as I realized what they were and who they were from."

"If this is a message from him, why do you think he's decided to deliver it now, and why here instead of where you live like last time?"

"He didn't know I had gotten married, I could tell he was infuriated by the news. I think it pushed him to act sooner than he'd planned, maybe, or he just needed to let me know how mad he was," Jensen answered, knowing that this was something Joshua would do if he felt he needed to get their attention.

"He probably left his message here because he can't gain access to our home," Jared suggested. "We live in a gated community and there's also a security system that's pretty extensive at our home."

"Okay, that makes sense," Riley sighed. "I'm going to take everything I have so far and get started."

He pulled a business card from his pocket. "If he contacts you, or you receive any more gifts, I want you to report it immediately, and then I want you to call me."

The detective stood and shook their hands promising to call once he'd gotten some answers to the most immediate questions he had.

Once they were alone, Jared helped Chad finish cleaning up while Jensen went to discard the bucket of glass. Jared glanced at his watch and realized it was after three, and they still hadn't eaten.

"Chad, can you finish up here and make sure the window gets secured until we can get it replaced? I need to get Jensen out of here and something to eat," Jared asked, feeling a little guilty for leaving Chad to deal with everything.

"Sure, I've got Jonah coming to help me board it up, and I've already contacted the builder and gotten the window measurements so all I need to do is call the glass place," Chad reassured.

"What did you have to promise Jonah to get him to help?" Jared asked, knowing that Chad's cousin never did anything without giving Chad a hard time just for the hell of it.

"There may have been some mention of an autographed shirt mentioned," Chad said, grinning.

"Do I even want to know who you're supposed to get the autograph from?"

"Nope," Chad answered, laughing when Jared rolled his eyes.

"Do you want us to stick around until he gets here?" Jared asked, not liking the thought of Chad here by himself after what had happened.

"Nah, he should be here any minute. He had to stop and pick up some wood, but that was awhile ago."

"All right call me if you need anything, I'm going to go get Jensen and get out of here," Jared announced.

"You're going to get me for what?" Jensen asked, walking back into the room with the vacuum.

"We're going to go grab something to eat. Chad's going to finish this up and his cousin is on his way to help him board up the window," Jared explained.

Jensen frowned. "Why don't we help him finish this first. There's no sense in him doing it himself," he reasoned.

Jared should have known it wasn't going to be that easy. Jensen had never been one to leave a task to someone else if he could help.

He didn't even try to fight it, he grabbed the trash can Chad had filled with broken glass and took it to the back while Jensen grabbed the hand vacuum from the supply closet.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Once they finished helping Chad, and Jonah had shown up, they left to get some food at a small restaurant not too far from Jared's office. It was quiet and gave them both a chance to regain some balance. Jared was happy to see Jensen eat, even if it wasn't as much as he thought he should. He knew all the worry over the vandalism and having to talk about Joshua had probably eliminated Jensen's appetite.

"Do you still feel like going to the center?" Jared asked, hoping to take Jensen's mind off the earlier events of the day.

"Yeah, I really want you to see the place, and it'll help occupy my mind instead of other things."

"Why don't you call Chris and make sure they're going to be there, and I'm going to check in with Chad, see if they had any problems boarding up the window."

Jensen nodded, pulling his phone out and placing the call while Jared paid for their meal and made his own.

"Are they at the center?" Jared asked as they made their way to his vehicle.

"Yes, Chris said they'd be there until early evening at least. What did Chad say?"

"He's on his way home right now. He said they got everything boarded up and the glass company is going to be there first thing in the morning. The alarm reset even without the window contact but they had to force arm it. Everything's cleaned up, though, so tomorrow won't be so bad."

"That's good," Jensen said softly, guilt tugging at him.

Jared looked over at the change in Jensen's voice. It didn't take a psychic to know what was going on.

"Jensen, we don't even know if it was Joshua, and even if it was, it's certainly not your fault," He said, reaching out and taking Jensen's hand in his.

"But it could be, and if it is, I'm the one who brought this into your life," Jensen stated sadly.

"No, he brought this into our lives. You didn't do anything wrong. Will you do me a favor?" Jensen asked.

"Yes. You know I will if I can."

"Will you stop worrying about it until we find out for sure?"

"Jared, if it's not Joshua, someone out there threw a cement block through your office window. If it's not about me, then it's aimed at you. How am I supposed to not worry about that?" Jensen asked, confused and a more than a little frustrated at Jared's lack of worry for his own well being.

Jared could see his point, and it wasn't like he didn't worry himself, but he wanted to keep as much stress off Jensen as possible.

　

"I know you're going to worry, but it's not good for you or the baby. So let me do most of it okay? I think we need to wait and see what Detective Lloyd's investigation digs up and try not to think about it until we know something more solid."

Jensen sighed. He knew Jared was right, but knowing it and controlling the fear eating away at him was something totally different.

"I'll try," Jensen offered as he watched the scenery fly by.

Twenty minutes later, they were driving down the tree-shrouded path to the center.

"They've got a lot of property," Jared mused, looking at all the land on either side of the drive.

"Yeah, when the land the center was built on was donated, the guys found out when they were doing the title changes that several acres surrounding the build site was for sale. They decided to use some of the donations they had available to buy what was on the market."

"Do you know what they're planning on using it for?"

"I think originally it was just so there would be some breathing room between the center and anything else. That way no one could build right up under them, especially with some of their more terrified clients.

Now, though, it leaves them somewhere to go if they expand, but I think Steve was talking about setting up some outdoor projects. There's already a huge play area for the kids, so I guess he has something in mind, but I'm not sure what it is exactly."

"Well, they have plenty of room. I'm sure they could do quite a bit," Jared mused.

"Yeah, they just have to raise some more money, for whatever they decide." Jensen smiled as they rounded the corner and the center came into view.

Jared was surprised at just how large the shelter was. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the huge house in front of him hadn't been it. There was nothing clinical, or even remotely institutional in the way some shelters were built. The exterior was done in gray with burgundy shutters on all the windows, and the landscaping was neat and pleasant to look at. There was a wrap around porch as far as Jared could see with rocking chairs interspersed along the length and gliding swings on the two ends that were visible from the front.

Before either of them could reach for the door, it swung open.

"Holy crap, you're taller than Tommy!" Mike exclaimed, looking Jared up and down.

"Hello to you too," Jensen said, laughing.

"Steve said you were coming, and since you've been keeping secrets from me of late, I decided to lay in wait," Mike answered with an evil cackle, bouncing up and down on his toes.

Jensen snorted, "I figured I'd see if it were possible to keep you in the dark and the world keeps revolving at the same time. Seems it won't end in fire and brimstone if you don't know everything."

"You're so mean to me!" Mike pouted.

"Oh, he can be a lot meaner than that I assure you," Jared cut in, offering Mike his hand and ignoring Jensen's scowl.

"I'm Jared, by the way, Jensen's husband."

Mike shook his hand and quirked an eyebrow. "Obviously you've been keeping lots of secrets!"

"And it won't kill you not to know them all," a voice said from the hallway.

"It might," Mike whined, turning to slip his arm around Tom's waist when he was close enough.

Tom introduced himself, shaking Jared's hand and pulling Mike out of the way so everyone could get into the house.

"It's nice to meet you." Tom smiled, shutting the door behind them. "You'll have to excuse my boyfriend, he sometimes forgets not everyone knows how to deal with his unique personality."

Mike looked up at Tom, a frown forming on his face. "I think that was an insult." He looked at Jensen, seeking confirmation. "Jensen didn't that sound like an insult?" Mike complained.

Jensen didn't get the chance to agree or disagree. Tom pulled Mike closer, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. "It wasn't an insult baby, you know I love you just the way you are."

Mike eyed him suspiciously for a minute, finally breaking into a huge grin. "This is why I can never stay mad at him," he said cheerfully.

"Why don't you go let the guys know they're here," Tom suggested.

"Okay," Mike agreed brightly. "I'll see you before you leave right? I want to show you something." Mike told Jensen as he bounced up and down some more.

"Yeah, I want you to show Jared around your wing before we leave," Jensen requested.

"Awesome! Let me go tell Chris you're here." Mike leaned up, giving Tom a quick kiss, before he spun around and disappeared up the stairs.

"Is he always so...." Jared searched for a word to describe the whirlwind that was Mike.

"Energetic?" Tom queried, still smiling.

"Yeah," Jared agreed, thankful that Tom realized he was at a loss.

"Yep, although he's been bouncing around more than usual. The closer we get to the grand opening, the more energy he seems to find. I'd swear he's found some way to plug into a nuclear energy plant if I wasn't with him almost 24/7. The rest of us feel like we're dragging ass," Tom answered, grinning, leading the way down the hall and towards the kitchen. "Do you want to wait for Chris and Steve or would you like me to show you around down here first?"

"Go ahead and show us the downstairs while we're waiting," Jensen decided. "It may take a while for the guys to get to us."

"Okay, but you'd better be on your best behavior. Someone messed up the last delivery of supplies and Ellen is bent out of shape," Tom whispered, pushing through the swinging door.

"I'm most certainly NOT bent out of shape!" Ellen informed him. "I'm just not going to put up with some idiot telling me he didn't make a mistake when our order clearly stated we needed twenty five flats of each vegetable on the list, not fifty flats of four different kinds. Do you really want to eat lima beans for the next forever?" She asked, clearly exasperated.

"No," Tom answered meekly. "I don't like beans of any kind."

"Well since we have company, I won't even start on what I think about that," she huffed.

Tom grinned, and Ellen just rolled her eyes. "So I guess you've already figured out I'm the cook," she stated, turning to Jensen and Jared.

"Yes, ma'am," Jared answered

"Jensen I know, but you, I've not had the pleasure of meeting," Ellen said. "My name's Ellen," she stated with a no nonsense handshake.

"Jared, Jensen's husband."

"Oh really," Ellen said, looking at Jensen and raising an eyebrow.

Jensen blushed at the question in her eyes. "It's not like I've had an abundant amount of time to hang out and talk," Jensen defended himself.

Ellen just kept staring at him. Jensen was beginning to realize why Chris refused to go in the kitchen without some form of shield.

"Fine, I could have said something," Jensen relented. "I told Chris and Steve. I figured they'd spread the word, but obviously they wanted me to get into trouble," he pouted.

Tom and Jared snickered behind his back.

"I'll forgive you this time, only because I've already gotten to holler at someone today," she said with a grin.

Jensen knew when he was offered gold and gave her a quick hug. "Then make sure you're around before I leave because I'd hate to get into anymore trouble."

"Ahh, you have something else to tell me do you?" Ellen asked, grabbing a potholder and pulling a huge dish out of one of the ovens.

"Oh great," Tom moaned. "I'll get to hear Mike whine for at least another twelve hours about secrets and how they’re bad, unless he knows them, or is the one keeping them."

"Sorry," Jensen offered, even though he didn't think it'd matter what was going on, Mike just liked to be.... well Mike.

Ellen proceeded to show Jared around the kitchen and the supply room, with Jensen trailing in their wake. Jared was impressed with not only the organization, but the fact that there was already a rotating menu that boasted a three week rotation so the meals wouldn't be boring. They'd just finished touring the dining hall as well as the offices and classrooms on the main floor when Steve made an appearance.

"Hey guys. How's it been going?" Steve asked.

"Pretty good," Jared answered. "I hear you're just about ready for the big day."

"I swear, we've really got things together, but every time I think I can sit down for a few minutes or say for sure that this particular thing is complete, something pops up that needs looking after," Steve said with a tired sigh.

"When's the last time you and Chris actually got a full night's rest?" Jensen asked.

Steve snorted, "Um about five years ago," he smiled at Jared's confusion.

"We worked at a small shelter before this. That's where me and Chris met actually. Anyway, we always got calls in the night, someone to do an intake on or just a problem in general. Then, we've been working for this over four years now, from the dream, to the planning, to the building. So it's been a long time. Why?"

"You look like you're about to drop," Jensen informed him, frowning.

"Things will slow down after the opening, and we'll get some rest," Steve lied.

"Will it?" Jared asked. It seemed entirely plausible that they'd be even busier.

"No," Steve answered, smiling, "But we wouldn't have it any other way. We'll get some rest though, I promise," he directed the last part to Jensen who was still frowning.

"I suggest you do that, you're not going to be worth much laying in a hospital bed because you dropped from exhaustion," Jensen fussed.

"Yes, mommy," Steve laughed at Jensen's growl of annoyance. "How about I show you around the other floors? Chris can join us when he gets finished and Mike can show you his surprise," he said, leading them through one of the halls and up a set of stairs.

Steve took them through all the wings except the family one, leaving it for Mike, since he didn't want to ruin the other man's surprise. He showed Jared the rooms set up for emergency and health care, finally ending back up at the office he and Chris shared. Chris was just setting the phone down when they walked in, a sigh of exasperation escaping him.

"I swear, sometimes I wonder how anyone gets anything done with all the red tape," he bitched.

"Did you sweet talk them into seeing things your way?" Steve asked, dropping down beside him.

"This time, but I wonder if me being nice is worth it. Sometimes, I just want to reach through the phone and choke that jerk," Chris declared.

Jensen and Jared had taken a seat on the couch that sat at the side of the room, listening as Chris grumbled. Jensen was actually glad to be able just to sit back and listen, it helped take his mind off the events of earlier and he felt himself relaxing. Jared was pressed against his side and his husband’s warmth seeped into him, helping to ease the remaining stress that lingered.

Chris had been watching Jensen, since he walked in the room. He could tell something was wrong from the tension in his eyes. Jared also looked a little less than relaxed, but as they sat together on the couch, he could see and feel them both relaxing. He was going to find out what had happened, but he'd wait a little while now that Jensen had started to unwind some.

"So did Steve give you the tour?"

"Yeah, I've seen everything but the family room, and Jensen's class area," Jared responded.

"Ahhhh. Well, take some time to rest and then I'll see what we can do about finding Mike, so he can show you his wing." Chris grinned.

"This place is huge but it's great," Jared complimented. "It looks like you've covered just about every base," he offered.

"Well not every base, but we're hoping to have that done in the next year." Chris sighed, thinking about Tom.

"Jensen told me about the other section you need to do." Jared leaned over, tucking Jensen a little closer when he noticed that his husband’s eyes had slipped shut for the fourth time, and they didn't seem to have any intention of reopening until he'd taken a nap.

"Is he asleep?" Steve asked, standing and grabbing a blanket out of a cabinet.

"He missed his nap today. The doctor had mentioned he'd feel a lot better the visit before last if he'd take a nap during the day. Once his show was over, he's been getting one regularly, but we weren't at home much today so he missed it. I guess his body is telling him it's time to slow down for a little while." Jared leaned down and placed a kiss on Jensen's forehead, before taking the blanket from Steve and putting it over Jensen's body.

"Does the reason you weren't at home today have anything to do with all the stress the two of you seem to be radiating?" Chris asked, watching Jared's reaction closely.

Jared shifted around, getting comfortable and making sure Jensen wouldn't get a crick in his neck before he answered.

"Yeah. I got a call from my Chad, you met him at the showing. He told me the alarm at my office had gone off. When he'd gotten there, he had to wait for the police, but they found someone had thrown a cement block through the window in my office."

"Do you know who did it?" Steve asked, concerned.

"I'm not sure, but Jensen thinks it has something to do with his ex-husband," Jared answered, wondering if the two men knew about Jensen's earlier life, or if he was divulging a secret he shouldn't be.

"Joshua?" Chris growled.

"So you know about him?" Jared asked, relieved he hadn't broken a confidence.

"Yes, we know about him," Steve replied worriedly. "We didn't know he was even aware of what was going on with Jensen, much less expected this."

"Why does Jensen think it has something to do with Joshua?" Chris spat out, hatred clear on his face.

"There was a note painted on the block. Jensen thinks it's a reference to him," Jared explained.

"What did it say?" Steve asked, placing his hand on Chris' arm.

"I'm coming for what's mine," Jared recited grimly.

"You don't think it has anything to do with one of your movie scripts?" Steve kept his hand on Chris as he waited.

"We've had a couple of people that claimed their scripts were stolen, threatened to sue, but nothing like this. We verify every script we decide to produce just for that reason. I don't even take the word of the backers. I told the detective and Jensen both that there's still a chance it's a nut job, but he's dead set on worrying it's about him." Jared sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Unfortunately, there's a good chance there is," Steve stated softly. "Has he told you anything about Joshua?"

"Only that things didn't end well. He told me how they met and who he was, but he's still holding back the details I know are pretty bad. If you know, don't tell me unless it'll help me keep him safe, I'd rather he told me himself when he's ready," Jared explained.

"All right, but I'll tell you this, he's a sadistic bastard. He doesn't need to be anywhere near Jensen," Chris said through gritted teeth.

"It's already too late for that," Jared said.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, his voice so calm and cold it gave Jared goose bumps.

"He approached Jensen on the street, sent him a gift, and he was at the showing," Jared informed the two stunned men.

"How the hell did he get into the showing? It was invitation only!" Chris exclaimed.

"I'm not sure, but didn't you notice him lurking around?"

"We've never actually seen him. When we met Jensen, he was having a hard time, and we focused solely on him. The times he had to deal with Joshua, Jeff always went with him, and it was out of state," Steve explained. "I know damn well we'll be looking him up after Jensen leaves though. I know he's rich, so there's bound to be a picture of him somewhere."

"Why in the hell didn't he tell us he was having problems with him again?" Chris asked no one in particular.

"My guess is, he knew you were busy and didn't want to bother you, plus Jensen has never wanted anyone fighting his battles. That way, no one can get hurt on his behalf," Jared surmised.

"How the hell would you know that?" Chris said, eyeing Jared.

"Because when Thomas Cruxfield wouldn't leave him alone at school, it was the year he turned sixteen I think, neither Jeff nor I found out about it until Jensen came home with a three day suspension and a black eye." Jared frowned at the memory.

"Why did he get suspended if he was the one with a black eye?" Steve asked.

"Fighting, something I didn't even know he could or would do at the time. He wouldn't tell his mom why, and I'm still trying to figure out how the guy got away with it since he and Jeff were pretty much joined at the hip. We found out later the kid had been harassing him for almost five months because Jensen wouldn't go out with him. Jensen finally told Jeff later that the guy had threatened to bring some buddies and have a little fun at my brother’s expense. It was one thing to do something to Jensen, but he wasn't going to have anyone he cared about hurt, especially because of him," Jared told them, moving slightly to shift Jensen to a more comfortable looking slump.

"What happened to the jack ass?" Chris asked.

"Well, once he hobbled his way back to school," Jared snickered.

"Hobbled," Steve repeated, interrupting.

"Yeah, Jensen had done a number on his leg and gotten some good rib shots in." Jared grinned, remembering. "I made sure to acquaint him with what happened when he messed with someone in our family. Needless to say, he didn't mess with Jensen or Jeff. Matter of fact, he transferred schools not long after that," Jared answered, pleased with himself.

"I was wondering why he decided that a school on the other side of the county was a better option," Jensen mused hoarsely.

Chris snorted as Jared jerked a little in shock. They had noticed Jensen starting to wake up, but Jared had been so into his story, he'd missed that the last time he'd settled Jensen, it had woken him up.

"I can't believe you're telling them about my misspent youth," Jensen said around a yawn.

"Well, that's what happens when you put people you know from different times periods together. We get to tell all your sordid stories, and if you're really lucky, they can break out some really embarrassing pictures for the show and tell." Jared smiled at the grumpy look Jensen shot him.

"Better be glad you don't have any available because I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind handing over the prerequisite naked pictures she used to show all your dates," Jensen reminded with an evil grin on his face.

"Hey, that's not fair! I don't have your naked baby pictures," Jared complained.

"That's right, and you'll never, ever find them either." Jensen winked at Chris and Steve.

"Fine, I'll just have to see about getting some new ones then." Jared smirked at the blush that spread across Jensen's face.

"You're so easy," Jared laughed.

"Shut up! You're not even funny," Jensen moaned, covering his face with his hands.

Mike came bouncing into the room before Chris or Steve could say anything to Jensen about Joshua.

"Are you ready to see my surprise?" Mike asked.

"Sure, just let me show Jared the place I'm going to be helping out, and then we'll stop in on the way back down okay?"

"Cool! Can I go with you? I haven't seen the last few things you brought over," Mike asked curiously.

"Yeah, it's not anything big though," Jensen warned. "Just some more paints and brushes," he said, leading the way up the steps to the next floor.

Jared was amazed at the way Jensen had everything set up. He was even more shocked to learn that it'd all been done at the same time he'd been trying to get ready for his show. It was no wonder he was worn out, and the doctor had fussed. The canvases were all clean and white, the paints in brand new unsqueezed tubes, even the easels were unblemished. There were stools sitting in front of every easel and they each had a small table to the side for the palettes and cleaning cups.

"Jensen this is wonderful. Did you do all this?" Jared asked as Mike looked at all the different colors set up along the wall in wooden trays.

"It's not that much." Jensen ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed by the attention.

"Bull shit it's not!" Chris said from the doorway. "I thought you said you were going to get these from the second hand store," he said, running his hand over the closest easel.

He hadn't had time to check out everything that Jensen had been bringing into the shelter, not with running all over the place picking up donations and then dealing with the million and one other disasters that seemed to crop up that he and Steve taking care of.

"Well, when I went to check on the ones they had, it wasn't that much cheaper than getting new ones. I order all my stuff in bulk anyway so I just added some things to my last few orders, and I get a discount anyway because I order so much...." Jensen trailed off, shrugging. "I just thought it would be nice if they got to start off with a clean slate, metaphorically speaking.

"I'm sure everyone that comes in here will appreciate it," Steve said. He'd been a little more aware of what was coming in. He just hadn't thought too much about the condition until he saw everything set up.

"Yeah well, I can do it, and you were there for me when I needed it, so I thought I could do the same," Jensen mumbled, blushing again.

Jared had been watching and listening to the conversation, picking up little details that he didn't think Jensen even realized he was giving away. He hoped that Jensen would tell him everything that had happened in the near future, not just because it would mean he'd earned Jensen's trust, but because he felt like, he was missing a very important part of Jensen's life, and he wanted to know everything there was to know about Jensen Ross Ackles-Padalecki.

When they left the classroom, they followed Mike down the stairs and into the family wing. The last time Jensen had been in there, they were still trying to get the beds together. Mike showed them how the tracks in the floor served to move the cubicle type walls so that the area could expand for larger families or contract for small ones. There were single beds set up in each cubicle with a set of bunk beds against the moveable wall. Along the very back of the wing, there were several cribs set up and ready to use.

"All the furniture had wheels with brakes on them. That way, everything is easy to move and shift around how we need it to go," Mike explained, showing them how the bunk beds rolled out if they didn't need them and a crib could take its place.

"Who came up with the moving walls?" Jared asked.

"That would be Justin. He can't decide if he wants to be an architect or an inventor," Mike answered.

"No reason he couldn't do both," Jared said, impressed.

"You came up with the wheels didn't you?" Jensen asked Mike.

"Yep, but Justin helped me figure out how to attach this extra piece to everything so it would have a brake as well as be sturdy," Mike leaned down to show them how the wheel pulled up so the weight of the bed wouldn't be on the wheel but on the floor.

"Well, I think you're both pretty damn clever," Jensen praised and Jared agreed.

Mike finished showing them the rest of the wing, talking excitedly the whole time.

When they were about to walk out the door, Chris pulled Jared to the side while Steve and Jensen went to look at the porch swings.

"Keep us in the loop as to what's going on okay? I'm telling you, Joshua is a whack job, so if you need help you call us," Chris insisted."I'll let you know what's happening," Jared assured. "I'll try to get Jensen to tell you himself if I can. I don't like going behind his back, unless I absolutely have to."

Chris sighed, "I don't either, but sometimes Jensen is a danger to himself by trying to protect everyone else."

"I'll keep him safe," Jared promised, refusing to believe for one minute that he couldn't.


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen woke up early the day of his doctor's appointment. He was excited as always to talk about the baby's progress and hear the heartbeat, but he was nervous as well. Ever since the incident at Jared's office all he could do was worry. He knew it wasn't good for him or the baby, and he tried to keep his mind off of what would happen if it was, in fact Joshua, but it would sneak in late at night when he was tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable.

The detective had reported back that the paint was a common brand found at any hardware or do it yourself store and that the perpetrator had worn gloves since there had been no fingerprints or residual skin cells sloughed off during its handling. Jensen couldn't say he was surprised really, but he'd hoped they'd find something that he could write the whole thing off as a prank. When they didn't, there was no doubt in Jensen's mind that it was Joshua because he wouldn't have made any mistakes.

He knew he needed to tell Jared the reasons behind his fear, because it was important for everyone's safety. It was such a painful and humiliating period of his life, he felt physically ill just thinking about it, and it had nothing to do with morning sickness. Jensen finally heaved a sigh and crawled out of bed to head for the shower. Before he became pregnant, he would have stumbled to the kitchen, eyes glued shut, feeling his way to the first cup of coffee. Now he had to rely on hot water and chocolate for his fix, and he had a feeling the doctor was going to soon take his chocolate, he thought morosely.

He stood under the hot water, mulling over when to tell Jared and how, coming to the decision that he'd ask Jared for some time when they got home from the doctors. He still wasn't accustomed to walking in and interrupting Jared in the middle of what he was doing even though he'd been told several times it wasn't a bother. Jensen knew Jared thought it was odd, him asking for time, but he had learned the hard way it was much safer, and he hadn't been able to break the habit yet.

Jensen felt more relaxed when he left the bathroom, having made up his mind to tell Jared everything. No matter how embarrassing or humiliating it was to confess his weakness, he felt some of the weight he had been carrying had lifted. Jensen hoped once he actually told Jared that the rest would ease from his mind as well. He had just slid on his pants and was reaching for his shirt when Jared stuck his head in to see if he was ready. He glanced over his shoulder to tell Jared he'd be just a few more minutes, pulling on his shirt as he did. Jared had an unreadable look on his face, but he smiled and said he’d be waiting downstairs.

Jared quietly shut Jensen's door and slowly made his way to the kitchen. When he'd opened the door and saw Jensen standing there without his shirt, jeans ridding low on his hips, he'd had he overwhelming desire to touch and taste. Jensen's shoulders were broad and muscled, his frame lean all the way down to his waist, which was just starting to thicken with their child. His first reaction was quickly overridden by confusion, his breath catching in his throat as he traced ribbons of thin white lines, stark against the flushed pink of Jensen's skin. They trailed down his back and past the line of his jeans, crisscrossing in a roadmap that had made his blood run cold.

A foggy memory of tracing the lines with his fingertips, and a quiet plea to stop nudged at him. His brow wrinkled in concentration, trying to recall anything else that might give him a clue to the marks Jensen carried on his body. The scars he'd seen weren't new, not that he could imagine where Jensen would have gotten them recently. No, these were old, older than Jeff even, and he knew for damn certain his brother hadn't put them there. His thoughts were interrupted by Jensen walking into the kitchen.

Jared relaxed his face, dropping the frown at the questioning look Jensen was giving him.

"Did you forget something?" Jensen asked, pulling on his jacket.

"No, just trying to decide if I wanted to work from home or go in after your appointment," Jared hedged.

"Oh," Jensen said, face falling a little.

"Did you want to go somewhere when we finished?" Jared asked, trying to determine what had made Jensen's demeanor change.

"No, I just wanted to talk, but it can wait until you have time." Jensen rushed to reassure him.

"Jensen, I always have time for you. If you want to talk about something I'll just call Chad and tell him I won't be in today."

"I don't want to keep you from your appointments," Jensen said, shaking his head. "I know you have a lot to do before you have to leave for your location shoot."

"Chad knows not to schedule appointments on the day you have your doctor visit. I told him we never knew what extra tests might need to be done and how long they'd take. It keeps Chad from having to do extra work which he was ever so grateful for." Jared told him, rolling his eyes at Chad's sarcastic seal of approval on his no extra work clause.

"Are you sure?" Jensen asked, indecision warring with relief. He hadn't realized Jared had cleared his calendar just for his doctor's appointment. It gave him a warm feeling he didn't want to put a name to right at the moment.

"Jensen, if you want to talk, I want to listen." Jared reassured, waiting for Jensen to navigate the steps into the garage before he locked and shut the door.

"Okay," Jensen said softly.

"Do you want to drive?" Jared asked as he opened the garage door and set the alarm.

"No, not today."

"Are you feeling all right?" Jared looked over with concern.

"I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind. I don't want to be driving and zone out." Jensen explained, sighing a little when he leaned back into the soft leather.

"Your back still bothering you?"

"A little, not all the time though," Jensen answered, smiling a little at Jared's grunt of disbelief.

"You do know I can see you when you rub it all the time right?"

"I think it's become a habit. The pain is like a discomfort more than a hurt. I know that's not very helpful, but it's hard to explain." Jensen looked over and grinned at Jared's continued skepticism. When he didn't say anything, Jensen closed his eyes and settled in for the ride.

Jared just shook his head, turning his attention back to the road, his mind instantly returning to the scars on Jensen's back, and his need to talk later. The worried frown and nervous way in which Jensen had approached him, as if he was scared of the reaction he'd receive to his request, made Jared uneasy in what he would learn.

Jensen had fallen into a light sleep, but woke as soon as Jared pulled to a stop and shut the engine off.

"We here?" Jensen looked around, blinking a little.

"Yeah, we're a little early, traffic wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be. Did you want to go on in?"

"Sure, I've got to talk to billing anyway," Jensen answered, stretching as he tried to muffle a yawn.

"Is something wrong?" Jared asked. He'd forgotten to tell Jensen he'd stuck his nose in things, and he had a feeling the jig was up.

"No. nothing’s wrong. I just forgot to ask them a question. I meant to do it before I came back, but with the showing and everything else..." Jensen trailed off.

"Oh," Jared figured now was as good as time as any to tell Jensen what he'd done, maybe he'd be able to salvage the situation if it blew up in his face.

He laid in his hand on Jensen's arm so he wouldn't get out of the truck yet.

"I need to tell you something," Jared stated hesitantly when Jensen looked at him confused.

"Okay," Jensen shut the door and turned in the seat so he could look at Jared.

"Um... well I did something, and I'm not sure if it's going to make you mad, but it's only fair so if it does, you're just going to have to yell at me," Jared babbled.

"Jared, I've no idea what you're talking about," Jensen interrupted him, bewildered. "I seriously doubt you've done anything to make me mad, unless you've lied to me."

Jared swallowed thickly. "Well, no, not really," he answered slowly.

"You're not being very clear, and I haven't developed the power to read minds," Jensen joked, exasperated.

Jared nodded, deciding to just tell Jensen and then deal with the fallout.

"You remember when we had to fill out the forms the last time, right?" Jared asked, waiting for Jensen to nod before he continued. "Well, I saw that you had yourself listed as the sole responsible party for payment."

Jared paused, watching Jensen's face. He thought he saw a flicker of understanding, but he forged ahead. "When I took them back to the desk I asked the receptionist to file it under my insurance and that I would talk to you about the rest," he finished in a rush.

"All right." Jensen relaxed back into the seat. "That explains it then."

"All right?" Jared asked incredulous and then a beat later. "What does it explain?" He was still a little perplexed and maybe a little disappointed with the anti-climatic response after working himself up to defend his right to help.

"Well, yeah, I guess that's fine. I mean you don't have to do that, but if it's something you want to do then I'm not going to complain. They didn't ask me for payment last time, and I was trying to figure out if it was just a mistake or if they just forgot."

"You're not mad?" Jared asked, wanting to make sure.

"No, I'm a little confused?" Jensen said slowly.

"Why are you confused?"

"Why would you think I'd be mad?" Jensen asked, still puzzled instead of answering Jared's question.

"I guess because I didn't discuss it with you first, and I should have said something sooner," Jared explained.

"Oh," was all Jensen could come up with. He wasn't used to being included in decisions, not that Jeff was overbearing.

Jeff just had a habit of trying to take care of everything. It had always been his nature. Jensen had tried to tell him he didn't have to do it by himself, but he was so programmed to try and avoid conflict by that point, he just didn't push the issue. As for Jared not telling him right away, he could understand why. It had been non-stop upheaval for the past month. Between his show, the center's grand opening, and Jared's schedule with the out of town meeting, there hadn't really been any down time.

That was all before the vandalism. Jensen tried to keep calm just thinking about it, but he could feel his heart start to race and his breathing quicken. Unfortunately, Jared caught the change and thought the worst.

"You are mad," Jared sighed.

"No, I'm not," Jensen rushed to assure him. "I honestly understand you forgetting with everything that's happened over the last few weeks.

"Then what's wrong?" Jared asked concern leaking into his voice.

"I was just thinking about everything that's been going on, and I'd been trying not to dwell on your office being vandalized," Jensen explained.

"Detective Lloyd said they hadn't found anything to connect it to Joshua," Jared said hoping Jensen would relax a little.

"He also said he hadn't found anything to rule him out either," Jensen argued stubbornly.

"That's true, but he's still working on it, and worrying about it's not going to do either of us any good," Jared insisted.

Jensen sighed, "Yeah, I know. It's just hard not to."

"I know," Jared agreed, glancing down at his watch. "It's almost time for your appointment. Are you ready to go in?"

"Sure, let's go brave all the pregnant women," Jensen teased, smiling.

"Hey, I've heard those are the most dangerous kinds," Jared defended himself.

"Right.... What are they going to do? Knock you over with their bellies?" Jensen giggled as he shut the door on Jared's outraged reply.

Jensen was still smiling when they checked in. He couldn't help the snicker when he turned to see several women gawking at Jared. He felt Jared shift a little closer and almost laughed out loud.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," Jensen whispered, unable to resist teasing a little bit more.

"Zip it!" Jared shot back, placing a hand on Jensen's lower back and looking for a seat in the corner where he could see any sneak attacks.

Jensen might have said something about Jared's attempts to put their backs to the wall if he hadn't been trying to convince himself that the shiver coursing down his back was nothing but the air conditioner working overtime in the waiting area.

The billing department nabbed them before they were called back for their appointment. The new balances had been worked up with the insurance estimates on coverage and the new paperwork was ready to be signed. Jared took the paperwork and tucked it in his jacket before Jensen could swipe it and try to come up with some fair split that was just going to make him work twice as hard to get around. The nurse stuck her head in the door to let them know it was their turn before Jensen could comment.

Jared sat at the nurse's desk looking at the fetal development charts while Jensen was in the bathroom. There were charts for men as well as women, and Jared was lost in comparing the similarities and differences when Jensen slumped beside him blushing. Jared quirked an eyebrow in question and Jensen groaned.

"I hate that part."

"More than the getting undressed and felt up?" Jared asked amused.

"Well, no, I don't like that part either, but I get to hear the baby's heartbeat, so there's a payoff in that one." Jensen tried to explain his logic.

Jared snickered and then yelped when Jensen pinched his arm.

"That hurt!" Jared rubbed his arm.

"Not as much as it's going to if you keep it up!" Jensen promised.

"That's what got us into this in the first place," Jared snarked, waggling his eyebrows.

Jensen glared at him. "No, that was Jack and Jose. I can't even threaten you with the 'you're having the next one' because..." Jensen stalled, looking for a way to word it.

"I don't have the plumbing," Jared quipped.

Jensen made sure he twisted when he pinched Jared's arm again.

"OW!" Jared whined loudly.

The nurse walked in, giving them an odd look before shaking her head, smiling at Jensen's innocent look and Jared's pout. She asked all the routine questions, taking Jensen's temperature and weight, but paused and frowned when she was taking his blood pressure. She re-inflated the cuff and manually took his pulse this time instead of relying on the finger clip. Jensen had been reading a pamphlet that he'd picked up in the waiting room and hadn't seen the nurse's reaction but Jared had.

He tried to keep himself calm, not wanting to stress Jensen out before the nurse finished, but he was finding it difficult not to yell and ask for answers.

"Mr. Ackles, are you sure you haven't been dizzy or lightheaded?" The nurse asked, typing information into the computer.

Jensen looked up, frowning. "No," he paused. "If I stand up too fast sometimes I get a little lightheaded, but that happened before I got pregnant. Why, what's wrong?"

"You're blood pressure is a little elevated. It may not be anything, but it's early in your pregnancy, and we want to make sure it doesn't continue or get worse if we can help it," she explained.

"Okay," Jensen said, taking a deep breath, trying not to panic.

"What do we need to do?" Jared asked, putting his hand on Jensen's back and rubbing in slow circles.

"Well, it depends on what's causing it. If it's physical, the doctor may put you on medicine or restrict your activity. If it's stress, he's going to want you to remove yourself from the environment if possible, or tell you to find a way to avoid what's causing the stress as much as possible."

Jensen slumped back in the chair, his heart racing. "What if I have no control over the situation?"

Jensen's face was pale and Jared could feel the tension along Jensen's shoulders.

"We'll do what we need to do. You're going to have to find a way to not worry so much," Jared said gently.

Jensen nodded even though he knew it was going to be a massive feat. He was a worrier by nature. The only time he was completely free of thought was when he was painting. However, he wasn't going to endanger the baby in any way so he'd find some way to stay relaxed as much as possible.

"Maybe once the center is open, I'll have something to take my mind off things," Jensen suggested.

"As long as you don't overdo it. I think you're right," Jared agreed.

"All right Mr. Ackles, let's get you to your room." The nurse appeared, leading them down the hall for Jensen's examination.

She left him a gown so he could remove his shirt. Jensen didn't have to strip completely thanks to the new pants he'd bought that had a stretchable panel built in. He'd cringed when he had to go shopping, but Sophia had helped him find a store whose maternity clothes looked the same as regular ones. It was amazing even in male maternity clothes the descent into absurd graphics and weird ensembles one was subjected to. The shop Sophia had taken him to specialized in designers that retained the normal lines of clothes, but with added features. He could lift his shirt and no one could tell the material stretched.

Jensen didn't bother going behind the curtain just to take his shirt off, but he did turn so he was facing Jared instead of having his back to him while they were talking. He looked down at the small swell that had started to show and smiled. He hadn't really felt pregnant since there had been no visual evidence even with the puking as an indicator. That just reminded him of the flu he'd had last year, although an endless case at the rate his morning sickness kept hanging in. Jensen pulled on the soft gown and climbed on the table, settling in to wait for the doctor. He looked over to where Jared was sitting and blushed at the amazed looked adorning his husbands face.

Jared couldn't help staring. Realistically, he knew Jensen's body was changing, had even witnessed it this morning as a matter of fact. However, he'd not seen Jensen from the front, and since he didn't often, *or never* his mind supplied, see Jensen without his clothes, he just didn't realize how visible the changes had become. When he was finally able to pull his eyes away from Jensen's stomach, he noticed the blush staining Jensen's cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know you could see a difference yet," Jared apologized, standing and moving to Jensen's side.

"It's all right, I wasn't really showing. It just sort of appeared overnight," Jensen said softly, running his hand over the small bump.

"Would you like to feel?" Jensen asked, blushing again. He'd noticed the way Jared started to reach out and then pulled back, dropping his hands and putting them in his pockets as if to control the urge to touch.

"You don't mind?" Jared asked already reaching out to place his hand on Jensen's stomach.

"No, I know our situation is.... unique, but this is your baby too, and you should be able to experience everything every other father should," Jensen answered honestly, pushing the stretchy panel down so Jared could actually get that much closer to their child.

Jared swallowed thickly, and watched Jensen adjust his clothes his hand hovering in mid air. When Jensen lay back on his elbows Jared finally placed his hand on the small rounded swell. He wasn't sure what he felt at the moment, the swirl of emotions colliding and mixing to break apart and assault his heart. Jared settled his palm at the top of Jensen's stomach, his fingers stretched over smooth warm skin and engulfed almost the entire span of where their baby was protected. 

Jensen watched the look of awe and love light up Jared's face. He stayed still as Jared's hand stroked an outline over and around his belly.

"How does it feel?" Jared asked barely above a whisper, his eyes flicking up to look at Jensen before dropping them back down to watch his hand against Jensen's skin.

"I don't really feel anything yet," Jensen's forehead crinkled as he thought. "I mean other, than what you are now. Sometimes I think a feel this flutter inside.." he broke off, trying to find a way to describe it.

Jared just waited, watching him quietly, his hand stilling for a moment.

"I can't feel it on the outside." Jensen explained, "but it's like little butterfly wings flitting around in there," he finished, glancing down at his stomach.

Jared thought about it for a few seconds before he nodded his understanding. There was a tap on the door before it opened and Dr. Agnit walked in.

"So how's my favorite patient?" The doctor asked grinning as he shook both their hands.

Jensen rolled his eyes, "You ask everyone that, I've heard you."

"Doesn't make it any less true." Dr. Agnit smiled even wider. "So I hear your blood pressure is a little elevated, but you're not feeling dizzy. Is that right?"

"No, I've felt pretty good, except the nausea and being tired." Jensen confirmed.

"Okay, well, let's do the physical exam, and we'll talk about it some more in my office." The doctor patted his leg, standing and grabbing his stethoscope so he could listen to Jensen's heart. When he finished, the doctor declared that his patient was alive and his ticker was ticking away. He pulled out the measuring tape to check the baby's growth. Happy with all the information he gathered, he jotted some notes down. Dr. Agnit reached back and pulled the gel out, grinning at Jensen's groan.

"Oh, come on, it warms up quick," the doctor said cheerfully.

"Not fast enough," Jensen muttered shivering.

The doctor had to chase the baby around this time as it seemed to be avoiding the intrusion into its space, but Dr. Agnit was happy with the rate and strong sound he heard once he pinned the baby down long enough to get a good listen.

"I really wanted to do your first sonogram today, but our technician had to leave early, one of her children was sick. I don't want to wait until your next visit either, so I think what we'll do is have you come back next week. I want to do another blood pressure anyway. We can't afford to have that as a problem, especially this early on," Dr. Agnit explained helping Jensen sit back up.

"Jensen, go ahead and get dressed and meet me next door," the doctor told him, handing him a towel to clean up with before grabbing his charts and shutting the door.

"Okay," Jensen agreed, trying to wipe the gel off his stomach. He scowled at Jared's grin and flicked a glob his way.

"Ew... gross!" Jared complained, whipping it off his arm.

"Exactly," Jensen huffed as he finished cleaning himself off.

Jared caught a flash of Jensen's back as he put his shirt on, but it was so quick he only caught a vague glimpse of thin lines wrapping around a hip.

Jensen turned back around to find Jared frowning, "What's wrong?" He asked, working on the buttons to his shirt.

"Nothing," Jared assured, his frown clearing. "Just thinking about what I need to rework so I can come with you next week," Jared hedged. It wasn't a complete lie. He had been trying to remember what was going on next week, but it wasn't a complete truth either. Maybe when they talked later today he'd ask about the scars, Jared decided.

"Jared, you don't have to come to every appointment. I know how busy you are."

"I'm never going to be too busy not to come to your appointments," Jared contested. "I may miss one or two if I'm out of town, but if I'm in the same state then I'm going to be here. Besides, next week we get to see the baby for the first time."

"I know, I didn't mean then. I know you want to be there to see her for the first time, I just didn't want you to feel like you had to be at everyone."

"Her?" Jared asked.

"Well, I get tired of saying the baby this and the baby that, and you take offense to the word 'it'," Jensen answered, grinning at Jared's scowl. "I just decided it's a her for now."

"So you're going to give the baby a complex before it's even born if it's a boy?" Jared asked, playing along.

"Oh please," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

"That's fine. I'll just call him a he, that way it'll be fair," Jared proclaimed.

Jensen just shook his head, smiling at Jared's silliness. "If it makes you feel better, go right ahead."

They met the doctor next door in his office. After they settled in large leather chairs, they waited patiently for Dr. Agnit to finish his notes.

"So tell me Jensen, what has you so stressed it's affecting your blood pressure? Your show is over, correct?" The doctor asked, peering at them over his glasses.

Jensen felt like he was back in the principal's office when he'd let all the frogs go in science class.

"Yes, the showing was a couple of weeks ago," Jensen acknowledged.

"All right." The doctor made a note. "Could it be the teaching? I know you were supposed to be starting that soon," he asked, searching his notes for a specific date.

"No, that won't be for another couple of weeks or so. The grand opening is scheduled for the beginning of March, and then it'll be whenever they have someone sign up for one," Jensen explained.

"So if it's not the showing or the opening and all your other tests look fine, what else is going on?" He asked, pinning them with a direct stare, and frowned.

"There was an incident at my office, and it may have involved Jensen's ex-husband. The police are still investigating," Jared answered wanting to take some of the pressure off Jensen.

"I see," the doctor mused, "and am I to assume this ex is not the most gracious of fellows?"

"I wouldn't use any pleasant terminology for Joshua," Jensen answered tiredly.

Jared reached over and took Jensen's hand squeezing it softly before resting them on Jensen's thigh.

"Well, there's not much medically we can do for ignorant people, since they frown on lobotomies nowadays. The only thing I can recommend is keeping it off your mind as much as possible and trying to stay as calm as you can. We will, of course be keeping a close check on your vitals, and if they don't improve there's a possibility you'll be put on bed rest."

Jensen paled at the thought of six months of bed rest. He'd do it if that's what it took to deliver their baby safe and healthy, but he was afraid they'd have to commit him before then. He didn't do well with boredom.

The doctor noticed Jensen's parlor. "That's the worst-case scenario. We'll try everything else first, but you have to do your part as well."

"I will, and if you tell me bed rest, I'll do it, but I don't know how to stay still to be honest with you," Jensen confessed.

Jared smiled at Jensen's confession. He'd noticed his husband's propensity to fuss over things. Even when he painted and his whole body was focused on that one task, he would hum. Thinking back, though, he realized Jensen had always been that way. He remembered both Jeff and Jensen doing their homework at the kitchen table. Jeff would be still and silent, the only thing moving the pencil he was writing with, but Jensen would be swinging his foot or humming under his breath. Jared wondered why it hadn't irritated his brother , but now he realized it had never bothered Jeff.

Jared wouldn't have been surprised if his brother hadn't been halfway in love with Jensen the moment he'd walked into their home. Jeff just accepted that whatever Jensen did it was just how he was. Jared noted that not only did it not bother him either, but he actually enjoyed the little quirks that made up his husband.

They finished up at the doctors and stopped for lunch. Jensen knew he was being quiet, but he couldn't help dreading the upcoming conversation, even if he had been the one to initiate it. Jared seemed to understand, filling the space with easy chatter and questions about the center's upcoming opening. When they pulled into the garage, Jared put his hand out to stop Jensen's exit from the vehicle.

"Jensen, whatever you want to talk about isn't going to change anything."

"You don't know that," Jensen contested quietly.

"Yes, I do. I've known you since we were kids, and I know you've changed since then, so have I, but you're still Jensen."

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't been," Jensen whispered, smiling sadly as he got out of the truck.

Jared sent Jensen to the living room, promising to bring some tea as soon as he talked with Chad. Chad growled at the schedule changes he was going to have to make but promised he'd take care of it.

Jared took a deep breath and grabbed the glasses of tea, heading to the living room. He stopped in the doorway, the sight of Jensen huddled in the corner of the couch again breaking his heart.

Jensen wasn't small by any stretch of the imagination, but the way he was curled in on himself made him seem impossibly fragile.

"Hey, here's your tea," Jared said softly.

"Thanks," Jensen startled a little before taking the offered glass and taking a sip before he set it on the table.

Jared noticed the slight tremor in Jensen's hand as he set the glass down. He'd been trying to decide if sitting in the chair across from Jensen was a better choice than beside him. His husband’s distress had him sitting at the other end of the couch so he could reach out and touch, hoping it would be accepted if the need arose.

"I know you'll have questions, and I'll answer them, but let me try and get through as much of this in one go as I can," Jensen requested, his voice pleading.

"I'll try my best," Jared promised, it was as much as he could do, having a feeling it was going to be nearly impossible not to interrupt at some point.

Jensen nodded his head, and took a deep breath, clearing his throat. "I told you things didn't end well with Joshua, but it was a lot more than that. When we first started dating, Joshua was so attentive and I didn't realize it at first, but it wasn't about him trying to make me happy. Looking back, I can see now that things had started changing even before we got married." Jensen paused and took another sip of his tea.

"He always wanted to be with me, wanted to go where ever I was going. If I mentioned a friend coming with us to an opening or to lunch, he would tell me he just wanted to spend time together just us. I didn't see it, but he was slowly cutting me off from everybody but him. I still called my mom, and still wrote Jeff, but calls were too hard because I never knew when Jeff had just pulled a double shift, and I didn't want to wake him, so I always wrote instead. Joshua never actually said anything about the letters, but every time he saw one going out in the mail he wasn't pleased. At some point, I stopped writing as often," Jensen sighed, ashamed of himself. He shifted to a more comfortable position, and adjusted the pillow at the small of his back.

"How did you know he wasn't pleased?" Jared asked, even as he tried to keep the question in.

"Nothing really overt to start with. He would get moody and make the occasional comment about me leaving him for Jeff. He'd always try to pass if off as a joke, but I knew that's not how he meant it. I'd promise him it wasn't like that, that Jeff was my best friend, more like a brother, so he didn't have to worry about me leaving him. It worked most of the time. When it didn't, I'd use a distraction."

Jared could tell by the blush running across Jensen's cheekbones what kind of distraction he'd probably used, but stayed quiet.

"Things didn't get any better after we were married. I'd thought up until then he'd relax some since it proved I was really with him, but it didn't." Jensen kept his eyes down as he let out a shaky breath.

"The first time he hit me was on our wedding night. We were in the honeymoon suite at a resort, and he was downstairs in a private poker game. He'd been drinking and was losing. Everyone was smoking and it was killing my contacts. I was tired and just wanted to go to our room, so we could spend our honeymoon night together. I wasn't loud or anything, just whispered it in his ear a couple of times. I thought he was ready to go up when he excused himself, but when we got up to the room, he grabbed my arm and backhanded me. He told me to never interrupt him, and that unless he spoke to me, I should keep my fucking mouth shut. Then he went back downstairs." Jensen paused to collect himself.

"Two hours later when he came up with champagne I had my bags packed, ordered my plane ticket and was waiting for the airport shuttle. He seemed shocked that I was leaving, but he cried and apologized, begged me not to go. He promised me it would never happen again, and that's where I made my biggest mistake, I believed him," Jensen paused, taking another sip of tea. "I stayed, but I promised myself if he ever hit me again I'd be out of there."

"Did it get better?" Jared asked when Jensen seemed to get lost in his own head.

"Yes and no," Jensen sighed. "He didn't hit me again for another four months, but I always knew when I hadn't pleased him. He'd stay gone at night, or he'd not speak to me for days. I just tried harder to get it right, be what he wanted or needed. Then Joshua had to attend a party. He was working a deal, and the people he needed to contact were going to be there. I thought everything had gone well, but on the ride home I could tell he was mad. I could see the muscle ticking in his jaw, and he wouldn't talk to me at all. I already had a headache from the smoke, so I headed upstairs to shower and change.

Joshua came in behind me, and when he shut the door, he locked it. He never slammed it when he was getting ready to 'set me straight' as he put it. There was always this soft click of the door meeting the plate and then the click of the lock," Jensen said softly, the tremor unmistakable in his voice.

"I had already taken my suit coat off and was halfway out of my shirt when he started asking me what I thought I'd been doing. I didn't know what he was talking about, and that just seemed to make him angrier. He started yelling about me whoring myself and how he'd seen me with the hosts' son. I tried to tell him we were just talking, but he refused to listen. He punched me in the jaw, and told me he saw how the guy was looking at me, that I had dressed provocatively." Jensen stopped abruptly, swallowing thickly, looking up at Jared.

"I didn't, honest. I was wearing a tailored suit. it fit me but it wasn't tight, I swear." Jensen's voice was hoarse as he pleaded with Jared to believe him.

Jared reached out and pulled Jensen into his side, "Shh.. I know you wouldn't do something like that. It's not your fault… you did nothing wrong." Jared reassured him, running his hand through his husband's hair.

"Do you want to take a break?" Jared asked, worried about Jensen's blood pressure.

"No, I want to get it over with. I don't want there to be any more secrets," Jensen answered, taking a shuddering breath.

"All right, but I want you to try and not get upset. I promise you nothing you can say is going to change the way I feel about you. As for Joshua, you're mine now, and I won’t let him hurt you again," Jared promised, refusing to believe he couldn't.

Jensen nodded his head a little and continued. "Each time it was a little worse. He broke my wrist once, and my arm another time. He always begged me to forgive him, until the time I went to Jeff's graduation. He didn't want me to go, but I had promised Jeff I would be there, and I didn't want to miss it. He'd worked so hard to finish so soon."

"Joshua was waiting when I got to home. I knew it was going to be bad when he didn't even wait to lock the door. The whole time he beat me, he told me how useless I was, how I never did anything right, that I was always flirting. He said he knew I'd slept with Jeff while I was gone." Jensen looked up at Jared, wanting to make sure he understood. "I hadn't, even though me and Jeff started dating after, I never cheated, never even thought about it, and Jeff would never mess with anyone that was taken."

"Is that why Jeff was upset that night?" Jared asked massaging the back of Jensen's neck, trying to relieve some of the tension that was coiled there.

"He saw some of the bruises from the beating a few days prior. I wouldn't take my suit coat off, but I had to push the sleeves up when I was washing my hands. Jeff saw the ones Joshua had left on my wrist and I had two fingers splinted. I'd lied and told Jeff I'd caught them in a door, but when he saw the bruises, he knew," Jensen explained sadly. "I didn't want to ruin his day, but I couldn't even get that right."

"Jeff didn't want me to go back, but I had to. All my stuff was there, and I just couldn't give up on my marriage even though it was like living in hell. I kept trying to be better. I thought I could do it. Joshua would tell me that I only needed to fix something, and it seemed such an easy thing to correct but then he would find something else. I know that has to be the stupidest reasons you've ever heard, but I couldn't fail at my marriage. My parents hadn't and I grew up watching yours, and I wanted to have what they had, but no matter how hard I worked at it....." Jensen trailed off, not sure how to explain.

"My parents still fought Jensen, you probably didn't see it and, really, me and Jeff never saw much of it either, but they had they're verbal sparring matches. They weren't perfect and I bet if you'd have asked your Mom, no matter how much she loved your dad, they probably had disagreements too." Jared tried to make sure Jensen knew that no couple was perfect.

"I guess, but when I was younger, it looked as perfect as anything could be. Did you know they'd dance on Sunday nights? I caught them one night when I couldn't sleep," Jensen smiled to himself, remembering. "I'd gone to the kitchen to get some water, and I heard music coming from the living room. It wasn't loud or anything, but when I peeked around the door, they were doing this slow dance, and I remember thinking how sweet it was that even after that many years they still loved each other so much."

Jared smiled, he'd caught them a time or two himself, but they were his parents, so it just made him roll his eyes and avoid the living room. Kids just didn't want to contemplate their parents like that, especially when you were old enough to know where it might lead.

"I think knowing I couldn't have that hurt worse than the physical abuse," Jensen murmured softly.

"How did you get out?" Jared asked, trying hard not to growl.

He wanted to inflict every single break, bruise and hurt Joshua had ever heaped on Jensen, but he knew the man beside him needed him to be there for him not just physically but emotionally too.

"The only time I'd ever left without Joshua was for Jeff's graduation, and I was in the bed for a week after he finished showing me how displeased he was. When mom got sick I'd come home as often as I could, we'd moved back to the states by then, and I used the money from my paintings to fly in so he wouldn't know I had left the house. The day Jeff called me to tell me she had died, I wanted to do the same.

I never told Joshua about my mom's illness, or that she had died. I made all the arrangements from home and as soon as Joshua left on another one of his trips and then I was on the next plane out. I thought I could make it home before he got back, but he came in a day early, and I wasn't back yet. When I got home, he decided his fists weren't good enough. I'm not sure how long I was in the bed that time."

Jared wanted to ask what that meant exactly, but he held off. He had a feeling he'd find out pretty soon and Jensen didn't disappoint.

"A couple of months later Joshua had a function here, something having to do with one of his parents' charities, and they wanted him to be there. Things were pretty good the first night we were here. Joshua seemed happy, at least as much as he ever was when it had to do with his parents. However, they got in the next day and things went to hell from there. We attended the dinner that night. There were place cards so we didn't have a choice of seating. Joshua was on my right but there was an older gentleman on my left." Jensen paused taking a deep breath.

"I can't even tell you what he looked like. We made small talk in between dishes, but nothing of importance since I always tried very hard not to pay attention to anyone but Joshua. I didn't realize anything was wrong because Joshua didn't seem unhappy or tense. He always got the pent house suite no matter where we went. He said he didn't want to be right on top of someone else, but I'm sure it was his desire not to be heard when he was angry at me."

Jared felt Jensen lean a little more heavily into him, and he couldn't stop himself from placing a kiss to the top of his head. He knew the next part of Jensen's revelations were going to be even more trying than the previous and he needed the contact just about as much as he felt his husband did.

"We weren't flying out until the next day, but his parents were leaving that night. Every time he had to do something to please his parents, he found a way to blame me for what he perceived as their disappointment in him. When we got back, he wanted me to get undressed. I thought he wanted what he always did when he needed to release the tension from being around his parents." Jensen shivered and cleared his throat.

"What was it he always wanted?" Jared asked, even though he could give an educated guess.

"Typically? Me on my knees," Jensen answered hoarsely.

Jared wasn't surprised, but it didn't help the growing rage he felt sweeping through his body at the confirmation that Joshua had used sex as a weapon as well. "But that's not what he wanted this time?"

"Well, that's not all he wanted," Jensen stopped, gathering his will to push forward and finish this even though he was awash in humiliation and self disgust. "He had a thing about looking down at me when I was on my knees for him after he had smacked me around some. He started ranting about how I'd let anybody fuck me and how much of a slut I was. When he started taking off his belt, I tried to dodge him but my knees were killing me and my legs were numb, so I didn't move fast enough. He shoved me backwards and I hit my head on one of the tables that was in the room. I might have blacked out because he was standing over me with the belt and I couldn't remember him getting there. I thought that was it, I was going to die. He didn't stop, just kept hitting and kicking me until I passed out." Jensen shuddered at the remembered feeling of helplessness.

"But you didn't die, you survived. You're here and you're safe." Jared pulled Jensen even closer, the cold trickle of what would never have been if Jensen hadn't made it making him break out in an icy sweat.

"I wouldn't be here if the maid hadn't found me early the next morning. Joshua had forgotten to put the do not disturb sign on the door. She called the ambulance and the police came when the hotel called thinking it was a robbery gone bad. I don't remember any of it. They said I was in and out during the ride, but I never said anything." Jensen took a moment to finish his tea.

Jared could tell Jensen needed a moment to collect himself, and he could use one too, so he took both their cups to the kitchen to refill them while Jensen took the opportunity to go to the bathroom. Jared held onto the edge of the sink grinding his teeth, trying to reign in the need to punch something and rage at the pain Jensen had endured. He took deep breaths in through his nose, letting them out slowly between clenched teeth. He heard Jensen shut a door and knew he needed to move. He took one more deep breath, letting it whoosh out of his lungs, and grabbed the glasses.

Jensen was already curled up on the sofa, head resting on the back, eyes closed. Jared took a moment to assess how well Jensen was standing up to the strain of reliving such a dark period in his life. He could still see the tension stiffening his body, but his face was relaxed and his hands were resting over the small rise of their child. When he brought his eyes back up to Jensen's face he was met by clear green eyes.

"You sure you don't want to save the rest for later? You look wiped out," Jared observed gently.

"No, I want to get it all out. I am tired though, maybe a nap after we're done," Jensen conceded.

"All right." Jared settled next to his husband, waiting patiently for him to start.

"They said it was touch and go for the first seventy two hours. I had fractured ribs, a broken arm and leg, ruptured spleen, head trauma, internal bleeding and an assortment of contusions and lacerations that weren't serious enough to count until they knew I was going to survive. When they moved me to the stretcher, one of my ribs punctured my lungs. They told me later they lost me on the table twice, so I guess he actually did kill me," Jensen stated in monotone, as if he were reading an especially horrific but boring menu.

Jared kept silent and still, afraid if he moved the bile currently obstructing his esophagus would escape.

"I remember feeling like I was drifting in and out. Each time I tried to stay awake I was pulled back under, but there was always this calm peaceful feeling when I surfaced. I found out when I finally woke up for more than ten seconds that there had been someone with me the whole time."

"Please for the love of God tell me it wasn't Joshua!" Jared spat out, the venom with which he said the name shocking even himself.

Jensen just stared at him a few seconds, startled into silence. "No the police had reviewed the cameras that were in the hallway, and the only person besides the maid entering or exiting our room was Josh and me. They refused to let him visit until I gave them a statement. They apparently weren't impressed with who he was or the threats he made to sue them. It didn't help any that every time his voice could be heard into the room, my heart rate would go up and my blood pressure would shoot through the roof. Jeff told me they banned him from the hospital when he almost put me into cardiac arrest just from slinging a fit in the corridor."

"Speaking of Jeff, how did he find out you were in the hospital?" Jared asked curious as to how his brother had handled the situation, since he knew he himself wouldn't have handled it well had he known. He may not have been in love with Jensen at the time, but they had grown up in the same house and got along.

"He had been on call the day they brought me in. He was supposed to have been my attending. The EMT read off my name and vitals and the staff realized Jeff knew me and pulled in another doctor. He told me if they hadn't gone through my information, he'd have never known it was me. I wasn't very recognizable."

"Did Jeff know what had happened?" Jared asked, taking Jensen's glass of tea and setting it back on the table so he wouldn't have to uncurl.

"Not right away. If there hadn't been so much damage he may have. One of the nurses told me later that he never left my side until they pushed me through to the operating room. Jeff said he thought it was a car wreck to begin with, but found out later I'd been attacked. He had a feeling it was Joshua but wasn't sure until I woke up and gave the police my statement. I'd never seen him mad like that Jared. He scared me he was so mad." Jensen spoke the last sentence so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"Jensen, you had to know he wasn't mad at you right? That he'd never hurt you," Jared asked concerned.

"I knew. I was scared because I didn't want him to get into trouble over me, not to mention I was terrified Joshua would do something to him. Joshua had promised me if I ever left him, he'd kill the people I loved first and make me watch before he took care of me." Jensen trembled at the memory of one of his beatings, the belt hitting over and over as Joshua told him he was useless. How he was the only one who could ever love him.

The police arrested Joshua but with his parents money and connections he made bail the same day. Jeff made sure no one was allowed to visit me unless they were approved by him. He arranged to have me moved across from the nurses' station and once he cleared it, he took his vacation to stay with me."

"Is that how you met Chris and Steve?" Jared asked. He'd been wondering for a while, and had even asked Steve, but the other man had given him a sad smile and told him it wasn't his story to tell. Looking over at Jensen when he'd said it made it clear whose it was.

"Yeah, the hospital has a lot of staff that volunteers at the shelter they worked at. When they had an abuse case, they'd call them and someone would come down, try to talk to the person out of going back, give them options and whatever they could do to help."

"Did Jeff call them?"

"Actually, no. He freaked out a little when he walked in and saw two guys there until he realized who it was. One of the nurses that had been on vacation when I was brought in and hadn't seen it notated that someone had called so she did, not realizing that Jeff knew me."

"So how did they never meet Joshua?" Jared wondered how not only he but his parents had never known Jensen had been hurt like he had.

"Everything was handled through lawyers. He got ten years supervised probation, a conviction for domestic abuse went on his permanent record as well as assault with intent to inflict serious bodily injury and a few other charges. He was to never contact me and never come anywhere near me."

"Why the hell didn't he get jail time?" Jared growled.

"The D.A. didn't think he would get a conviction. Joshua wasn't going to confess and there were no witnesses to any of his attacks. The staff saw the aftermath, but they couldn't afford to lose their jobs. Plus, I think they were just as scared of him as I was."

"Somehow, I can't work up any sympathy for the staff," Jared responded. He was going to have to visit the dentist for caps where he'd ground his teeth so much, not to mention TMJ he was developing. Jared unclenched his jaw, working it to loosen some of the tension.

Jensen gave him a small smile before continuing, "Mr. Collins didn't think he could get a conviction, but he was willing to try. Anyway, I asked him if there anything else we could do that would get me free of him. Mr. Collins decided to let Joshua's lawyer know we were going ahead with a trial, and that he was calling a press conference for the next day. The governor had just finished running his campaign with domestic violence as one of his platforms."

"Scare tactic," Jared mumbled to himself.

"Yes and no, since he was willing to take it to court. His lawyer called, and asked what we wanted to keep it out of the media. Joshua's parents didn't want their name," Jensen snarked using air quotes, "to be blemished. I found out early on they got him out of any trouble he got in. Anyway, the D.A. set up the terms, but Joshua's lawyer wanted the record sealed. Mr. Collins refused and told them they could take it or leave it. He told them he'd drag the trial out as long as he could and make sure there was plenty of television coverage if they didn't take the plea agreement."

"So you literally had no contact in which they would have met Joshua," Jared stated. He understood it was probably better to have protected Jensen with the plea deal than to risk a not guilty in court and have nothing to show for it. The hard cold facts of it didn't make him any happier, but he could see why they had taken that route. It explained why Chris and Steve never had the pleasure of meeting the bastard and didn't realize he was at the showing that night.

"I thought Chris was going to kill Jeff when he walked into the room. If Steve hadn't grabbed his arm so Jeff could explain who he was I don't think it would have been pretty," Jensen said, bringing Jared back from his thoughts.

"I don't think Jeff would have been in any danger," Jared snorted at the thought of his brother's 6 foot 6 inch frame not being able to ward off Chris’ ire.

"Don't bet on it. It's taken some time but...." Jensen paused trying to decide if he should share anything from his friend’s past. It wasn't really a secret. They just never really talked about it, unless they were trying to get through to a victim.

"But what?" Jared asked.

"Steve grew up in an abusive house, and when he started dating the cycle just kept repeating. Chris was working at a shelter, doing a sentence for community service. I'll tell you later," Jensen promised at Jared's face showed his surprise and curiosity. "Anyway, Steve showed up there after I don't even know how many bad relationships. Chris said it took him a week to get Steve to look anywhere near the vicinity of his chest and not the floor. Not his eyes or his face, but his chest, and it took a couple more to even get a word out of him."

"So they've been together for awhile then?"

"Yeah, almost twelve years," Jensen smiled. "Chris saw a lot in that shelter, changed his whole life, but Steve made it personal. People being abused puts him in a fighting frame of mind, and even if he's not as big, but his drive to right the wrong can motivate a really big fight."

"Hmm," Jared mused, thinking about the narrowed blue eyes leveled at him the first time they had met. "I can see where he could be dangerous," he acknowledged.

"Exactly," Jensen smiled again. "Anyway, between Jeff and the guys, I made it through the recovery and dealing with all things Joshua, even if Misha was the go between."

"Misha?" Jared questioned, trying to remember if he'd missed the name while he'd been fuming at different points in Jensen's story.

"Sorry, that was the D.A.'s name. I just got tired of being all formal. Jeff and I spent almost more time talking to him than we did with anybody else for several months. He told us that calling him by his job title was ridiculous and that Mr. Collins was his granddaddy.

"Oh, well, that's understandable. Do you still talk to him?" Jared couldn't remember Jensen mentioning him in the months they'd been together.

"No, not often. He checks in every few months, but he's been out of town for the last several. Some big case somewhere that he couldn't talk about the last time we spoke."

"Does he know about Jeff?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, he called right after it hit the news. You'll get to meet him sooner or later," Jensen promised.

Jared nodded, leaning back and stretching his legs out in front of him. "So when did things change with you and Jeff?" Jared's curiosity had been gnawing at him for a while now. He not only wanted to know about that time in Jensen's life but also a period he knew nothing about in his brother’s.

"I'm not sure exactly," Jensen's face scrunched up as he thought about it. "It just sort of happened," he shrugged.

"There wasn't any one moment, it was more gradual, I think. You know we'd always been close, I guess it was just the next step. It felt right," Jensen answered softly.

"How did Jeff keep something so big from our parents? He was always a horrible liar," Jared stated.

"I asked him not to tell them what had really happened. I was ashamed and embarrassed at how stupid I was. I didn't want them to think badly of me," Jensen answered sheepishly.

"Jensen, you know my parents would never think any such thing," Jared scolded gently.

Jensen shrugged, "I didn't think too much of myself, so I just felt everyone would do the same."

"Did you think Jeff did?"

Jensen laughed softly, "No, Jeff didn't know how to think that about anyone he knew. He always saw the best in everyone he let into his life."

Jared smiled, "Yeah, he did. He was the constant optimist to every situation. So why did you decide to tell me now?"

He couldn't figure out what was different today than yesterday or even last week, for that matter.

Jensen sighed, "I wanted you to know how dangerous he is. Joshua's not someone you take lightly and you should know what we're up against. I thought, maybe, if I shared the worry then it would be easier since it's not good for the baby and the visit today kind of supports that doesn't it?" Jensen finished grimly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you had good people there for you to lean on. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me something so difficult," Jared said, making sure he kept eye contact.

"It was never about trust Jared," Jensen said shocked. "I had hoped never to have to tell that story to someone I care about again. It's just so humiliating, I still can't believe how stupid I was in the fist place," Jensen mumbled, looking down so he wouldn't see the disgust that was sure to be present on Jared's face. Even now he had a hard time believing that person had been him.

"You weren't stupid! You loved and trusted him," Jared growled, tipping Jensen's chin up so he could look him in the eye again. "He betrayed that trust. The only thing you're guilty of is trying to make an impossible situation bearable.

"You think so?" Jensen asked brokenly.

"You know I wouldn't say it unless I believed it," Jared answered honestly. "Did you talk to a therapist at the hospital?"

"Yes, and after, I know all the logical arguments, the dependency and the battered spouse syndrome. However, knowing it and assigning it to yourself is a lot harder. Even when you do, it's sometimes difficult to remember it," Jensen acknowledged.

Jared sat back, thinking about everything Jensen had told him. "So that's where the scars on your back come from?" He asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Yes, Joshua had a fondness for using the belt. I kept waiting for you to ask me about them, but you never did."

Jared was a little taken back by the comment. "Really?"

"Well, yeah, you've seen them. I just figured your curiosity would finally get the better of you," Jensen told him, smiling so Jared knew he didn't think it would have made him rude if he had.

"Honestly, I didn't realize I'd seen them until this morning when I saw you getting dressed," Jared confessed. "I was really wasted that night, but I kept feeling like I was forgetting something important. Then when I saw them this morning, I got a foggy recollection of touching"

"Tequila was not a good thing to drink after Jack," Jensen agreed.

Jared smiled. "I'm not sure what hated me the most that morning my head, stomach or esophagus."

"My head definitely," Jensen volunteered. "Of course, then my conscience sort of overrode everything, so I kind of welcomed the physical ailments as my punishment."

"I think that's half the heaving I did that morning," Jared agreed.

Jensen nodded in understanding. "I'm not sorry we're having this baby," he added, feeling that he needed to say it again just so there was no confusion.

"Took me a few days after that night to get over the self disgust, but I realized why we did what we did so that helped me reconcile it. I know and I'm not sorry either Jensen. I never really thought about having a family, but from the minute you told me you were pregnant it's invaded every second. Now, I can't think of anything but having a family with you.

Jensen blushed. There was a big difference in Jared wanting a family and wanting one specifically with him. Before he could come up with a response, he was sabotaged by a huge yawn.

"How about you go take a nap, and I'll take you over to the center when you get up. I know you wanted to go help them today for a little while," Jared suggested.

"I can go by myself if you have things to do," Jensen said as he unfolded his legs from their tucked position and slid to the edge of the couch.

"I actually promised Steve that I'd help him with some heavy lifting the next time we visited. I can get some paperwork done while you're resting.

"Okay, but don't let me sleep more than a couple of hours. I get a headache if I sleep too long," Jensen agreed as he hid another yawn.

Jared stood and helped Jensen to his feet, smiling as his husband shuffled his way upstairs and to his room. After he changed and grabbed a snack, Jared looked in on Jensen, who was sound asleep. He shut the door and as soon as he was seated called Chad while he waited for his computer to load.

"Hey boss, how'd the visit go?" Chad asked.

"Jensen's blood pressure is a little high, and we have to go back next week, so I'm going to have to juggle things around a little."

"Okay, what day is it on?"

Jared told him the day and time. Chad was positive he could rearrange everything without too much of a problem and told him he thought the revision would work out better anyway since one of the studio executives had needed his appointment changed anyway.

"Chad, I need you to do me a favor?"

"Is this business or something else?" Chad asked.

Jared could tell he was leaning back in his chair from the tortured squeaks he could hear across the phone line. "Something else."

"Hit me with it," Chad said. He could count on one hand how many times he'd heard Jared sound the way he currently did, and none of them had been good.

"I need you to make contact with Eric. I want and in depth background on Joshua Carter Jackson, and I need it as soon as possible," Jared told him.

"Is it just background or do you want the financials too?" Chad asked, typing the name into a search engine.

"I want to know what kind of toothpaste is hanging in his toothbrush holder," Jared pushed past his clenched teeth. He was met with complete silence. Even the keyboard clicking had ceased. Jared knew Chad was processing the information that he'd just been given, including the way it had been delivered.

Chad cleared his throat and resumed typing before he asked his next question. "Do you have a picture or a description?"

"There may be a picture of him at Jensen's showing, but I doubt he was stupid enough to be caught on film, with what it would cost him if he did. He has light brown hair, stands about 6 foot 1 or 2."

"Is this the ex?" Chad asked.

"Yes," Jared growled, not sure he could say anything else without losing control of his temper.

"I'm assuming Jensen talked to you?"

"Yeah, we just finished. He's up taking a nap."

"Wasn't good, I'm guessing?"

"Worse than I even imagined."

"Shit!" Chad breathed.

"You've no idea." Jared heaved a sigh and flopped back in his seat.

"I'm here if you need to talk, you know that man," Chad said, worry underlying his offer.

"I know. It's just not something I can think too deep on right now, or I'm going to be in jail. Just make sure Eric knows how important it is."

"Not a problem, I have a basic write up, and I'll give him a call as soon as we hang up," Chad promised. "What are you going to be doing the rest of the day?"

"I'm going to catch up on some paperwork while Jensen's resting, and then we're going to go over to the center to help them get ready for their grand opening."

"That's in a couple of weeks, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's the third of March. Why?" Jared asked, hearing something in Chad's voice.

"I thought I might come to the opening if that's okay. I mean if it's not an invitation only sort of thing, and you don't mind me taking the day off," Chad said uncertainly.

"You know I don't mind, and it's not an invitation type event. I'm sure they'd be glad to have you." Jared reassured. "Is there any particular reason you wanted to go?"

"I'm curious mostly. I've heard you and Jensen talk about it so much, and I really liked Jensen's friends when I met them at the showing. I wanted to see the place for myself and maybe see if there's anything I could do to help."

They talked for a couple of minutes more and then said their goodbyes. Jared spent the rest of the Jensen's nap catching up on paperwork and finalizing the details of the upcoming shoot in Argentina. He wasn't happy about being that far away from Jensen, but it was an unavoidable part of this movie, so they had made sure to set the time away as early as possible. There was no way in hell he was going to be halfway across the world when Jensen was eight months along. He wasn't thrilled about it at four and a half months either, especially with the whole Joshua business.

At least it was only for two weeks. He'd been on some that'd lasted two months and there was no way he'd be able to tolerate being gone that long. Jensen could have gone with him, but doctors didn't want high risk patients on air planes and Jared didn't want his husband that far away from his doctor either.

Jared sighed, pushing his papers into a pile and throwing down his pen. He couldn't even concentrate on what he was doing just thinking about the trip. He glanced at his watch, noting that two hours were almost up. Jared couldn't have been happier. Since he obviously wasn't going to get anything else done, he'd wake Jensen up so they could get on the road.

He frowned as he approached Jensen's room. The door to the nursery was open, and he knew they'd been keeping it closed. Jared stuck his head around the door, searching for the reason it was open and found Jensen sitting on the floor. His back was against the wall, and he had his eyes closed. Jared wasn't sure if he'd wandered in and fell asleep or something else was going on. He didn't want to startle his husband but sitting on the hard floor couldn't be good for him.

"Jensen," Jared called softly.

Jensen's eyes opened slowly and he tilted his head up to look at Jared, smiling.

"Are you okay?" Jared asked when Jensen said nothing, stepping completely into the room.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"What are you doing?" Jared asked as he slid down the wall to sit next to his husband.

"Getting a feel for the room," Jensen answered quietly.

Jared just waited for Jensen to decide to explain.

Jensen let his head loll to side and looked at Jared. "I want to start the mural after the opening, and I'm trying to get a sense of the space."

"Okay," Jared agreed, not really sure what that meant.

"Don't you need to know what you're going to paint first?" Jared asked.

"Yes and no," Jensen answered ambiguously. "I have to know what I'm painting so I'm sure it will fit in the space, but I have to have a good idea of what the space I'm working with is."

"Sounds like the paradox, what came first the chicken or the egg," Jared uttered, still a little baffled.

Jensen smiled. "It's like when you have to set up a shot, isn't it? Didn't you say you had to plot the angles and such to get the shot right, but you needed to know what was in the shot to do it?"

"Well, yeah," Jared answered slowly.

"I thought you'd never done a mural before?"

"I haven't but it's the same concept I use for canvases. I have to know what scale I'm painting on, if it's an 8x10 or a huge 32x40. It changes the size and amount of detail I can paint," Jensen explained.

"That makes sense," Jared nodded in understanding, his analytical mind drawing the parallels in their techniques.

"Is there anything particular you'd like me to paint?" Jensen asked.

"I think anything you decide will be beautiful," Jared answered honestly, grinning at Jensen's blush. "I'll just be here to get your drinks and snacks. I can do the taping and get the tarp out, though, but I think the rest is going to be up to you."

Jensen smiled and resumed studying the walls and ceiling "I haven't decided if the ceiling needs to be painted yet or not," he mused.

"If you want it painted all one color, I can do that," Jared offered. "There’s no way I’m letting you get up on a ladder."

"I may have to be on a stool to reach the high parts of the mural," Jensen informed him.

"Then make sure I'm home when you want to work on that part of it, and we'll ding you a step stool that's safe." Jared compromised, "but only if I'm here with you just in case."

"Yeah okay," Jensen agreed as he maneuvered himself so he could stand.

"You ready to go to the center?" Jared asked as he got to his feet, offering Jensen a hand to steady him.

"Yep, just let me run to the bathroom first," Jensen answered, scowling at the lack of bladder control that seemed to plague him constantly.

Jared just smiled and went to retrieve his phone and keys.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen decided before they left the city and headed to the center, he wanted to check in at the gallery. All of his commissions were handled there as he didn't have an assistant and he didn't give out his phone number for obvious reasons. Jared wandered around, looking at some of the pieces on display while he waited. He noticed there were two of Jensen's paintings still hanging but neither of them had been at the showing.

The paintings were just as spectacular as the others, but there was something different about them, something darker that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He stood there staring for a few minutes before he realized what had been nagging at him.

The first painting was of a child playing in the surf along the beach. It had all the detail and vivid imagery that Jared had come to expect of Jensen's work. However, while the sun was shining brightly and the scene was idyllic in the foreground, in the background there were dark clouds rolling about on the horizon and there were glimpses of jagged lightening hidden among the clouds. Jared glanced around to see if Jensen was coming, but no one was paying him a bit of attention and his husband was still in the back.

He focused on the second picture, trying to find what made him uneasy with this one as well. Jared almost gasped out loud when he found it. The scene depicted was of a lady floating in the middle of a river. She was in a small rowboat, her long hair blowing in the breeze, and she held an umbrella to shade herself from the sun overhead. Everything looked peaceful and serene, but when studied closer, he could see a dark shadow under the surface of the water and the tip of a dorsal fin gliding along side the boat.

Jared shivered at the underlying emotion he could feel pouring from the canvas. He didn't hear Jensen walk up behind him and was startled when he felt Jensen lean against his side, trying to peer around his body to what had him so engrossed.

"What are you looking at?" Jensen asked, finally giving up on trying to see around Jared's broad shoulders.

"Some of your paintings. When did you do these?" He asked, stepping back so Jensen could see what he was looking at.

Jensen groaned a little when he saw the canvases. "I did those during the Joshua period."

"The ones you sold at the showing, were they before or after these?" Jared asked.

"They were after. I'm not even sure why they put these up now," Jensen mused, brow furrowing.

"Do you not want these seen?"

"Well, no, it's not that, but I would have thought they'd want something a little more current."

"Maybe they liked how different and yet how the same they are to your other work," Jared offered.

"Maybe..." Jensen trailed off studying the painting. "I think I'll go ask while I'm here, if you don't mind waiting."

"Nope, take as long as you need. I'm just going to look around while you're gone."

"Okay, it shouldn't take me but a couple of minutes," Jensen assured before heading back the way he'd come.

Jared still couldn't take his eyes off the paintings and the longer he stood there he found himself searching for the signature he'd come to relate to all Jensen's work. He'd almost given up hope without a magnifying glass when he realized there were no delicate wings, rather just the initials JA worked into the swirl of a wave. He found the other hidden in marsh grass at the edge of the river painting.

"I thought you were going to look around?" Jensen asked, making Jared jump yet again.

"Hmm..." Jared responded still focused on the initials.

"You said you were going to look around," Jensen repeated, smiling at the less than coherent response he'd received. "It doesn't look like you've budged."

"Oh, I was just looking for the wings," Jared answered, vaguely dragging his eyes off the canvas and to Jensen's face.

"Wings?" Jensen asked confused.

"Yeah, your signature, but you didn't use them here. You have your initials instead," Jared clarified, sounding a bit miffed.

Jensen arched an eyebrow. Most people didn't pay close attention to signatures, unless the artist was either famous or dead. His lips twitched at the thought that Jared had a thing for wings. "Oh," was his only response, trying hard not to start laughing at the put upon face Jared gave him at his simple comment.

"Are the wings a new thing?" Jared finally gave into his curiosity.

"I started using them after I recuperated and was free of Joshua. I used to use just my first name when I was in school, but I didn't like how it interfered with the picture. By the time I was with Joshua I'd decided to use something else. Things weren't going so well, and I had no real inspiration, so I just used my initials."

Jared nodded in understanding. "Did you get your questions answered?" He asked as he took Jensen's hand, and they headed for the door.

"They put them up when the showing sold out of all the other ones."

"That's good isn't it?" Jared asked, unlocking the door.

"I guess, I mean all they had to do was call, and I could have brought over some more, but they had those, so they just figured I wouldn't care...." Jensen trailed off.

Jared got behind the wheel and shut the door. "But you do care," he stated.

"Not really, I mean it's good work, and it probably won't hurt to change up the styles they show, but it's like hanging a part of me on the wall, and not a good part either. Does that make sense?" Jensen asked, his nose scrunched up in concentration.

"I get it. I feel the same way about the films I produce. If I have an off day I can tell in the finished product. No one else might see it, but I can."

Jensen smiled, leaning back into the seat. He was happy Jared understood. Sometimes, he had a hard time putting his feelings and thoughts into words and the person he was talking to either had a blank look, or one of utter confusion. It was nice to carry on a conversation with someone that felt the same way about his work, even if the medium was different.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The traffic wasn't as congested as the last time they'd gone to the center so the drive went by quickly, the comfortable silence helping to relax both men from the tension that had been building all day.

Chris was thrilled to have Jensen at his mercy. He was about to go insane trying to finish out the schedule for the classes. Every time he thought he had them set, he realized he couldn't have Mike teaching basic computer skills when he was supposed to be helping with the group therapy session.

Jared took a few minutes just to watch the interaction, smiling at how calmly his husband handled the spastic whirlwind that was Christian. Steve came around the corner a few minutes later and quietly stood beside him, watching as well. When Jared turned, Steve motioned for them to head back down the hall.

"Thank God you both came today. I swear I thought I was going to have to raid the meds and find some Valium. Tom's already threatened to dose his food with anti-psychotics for the next two weeks if he doesn't chill out. Hell, even Mike is steering clear and that man is the epitome of psychotic," Steve explained, leading the way to the storage area.

Jared snorted, "Here I just thought Mike was high strung."

Steve rolled his eyes, grabbing the tools they needed to get started.

"So what are we going to be working on today?" Jared asked.

"The playground," Steve said with a sadistic grin on his face.

"Playground?" Jared swallowed loudly.

"Yup, we have to get the swing set put together and the castle still needs its top level."

"Oh goody," Jared answered blandly.

What? Don't tell me you're one of those folks that swings a hammer and hits everything but the nail."

"No," Jared said indignantly. "I just tend to hit my fingers right along with the nails," he mumbled.

Steve snickered, "That's okay you can hold the boards and me and Gabriel will weld the hammers."

"That might keep the cussing to a minimum," Jared said grinning.

Gabriel was already waiting outside, he was a little overwhelmed by Jared's side, but once he found out that this was Jensen's husband he relaxed and the afternoon sped by with the swing set completed before

Gabriel had to leave for an early evening class.

They were working on the castle when Jared asked about the people working at the center.

"So how many of the people working here have been in the same situation as the people they're trying to help?"

Steve paused as he was getting ready to press the trigger on the nail gun, a fact that Jared was still pouting over. He'd have played with the nail gun, but Steve said if he couldn't hammer straight there was no way in hell he was going to get to shoot.

"Everybody but Chris and a couple of our therapists that you haven't met yet." Steve answered, waiting to see where the conversation was going.

"Do you think that makes it easier or do you think it causes your help stress?" Jared asked, curious as to how seeing something they'd lived affected how they dealt with everything.

"I think it makes us more empathetic. We understand the traps and obstacles that not only the abused face, but the ones the abusers use. It's not easy seeing someone go through the things you've experienced.

You want to shake them and make them wake up, but it didn't work that way in our cases, and very few times would it ever work in theirs."

"Doesn't it give you nightmares or flashbacks?" Jared asked worried about how Jensen would deal with people coming in so damaged, especially with Jensen's innate desire to fix things for everyone.

Steve stared at him for a few minutes, and Jared was wondering if he'd asked one too many questions and crossed a line.

"You're worried about Jensen?"

"Yeah, he was always trying to fix things when we were young, and I'm scared he'll get lost in all that pain and grief."

Steve nodded, still studying Jared. "He told you about Joshua didn't he?"

Jared was a little unnerved by how observant and intuitive Steve was.

"Yeah he told me today." Jared admitted.

Steve set the nail gun down and took a seat on the edge of the deck they'd been working on. "Did he tell you everything?"

"He told me what happened on their honeymoon, and everything between then and the day the maid found him and called the rescue squad." Jared answered, sitting down beside Steve.

"Did he tell you how he met us?"

"Yeah, and how you met Chris, just not why Chris was doing community service." Jared answered, trying hard not to grin.

Steve smiled, "Oh, I'm not touching that one. You can ask him if you want, or you're stuck waiting for Jensen to tell you."

"That's all right. I'm just happy he finally trusted me enough to tell me." Jared ran his fingers through his hair pushing it off his forehead.

"I don't think it's ever been about trust, or at least Jensen's never seen it that way."

"How do you know?" Jared asked, not sure how Steve could be so certain.

"Because he never would have agreed to marry you," Steve held up his hand forestalling Jared's interruption.

"He didn't marry you for protection, yes it may have given him a push, but he'd never put himself at risk again if he hadn't trusted you. He married you, moved in with you, and if he'd not trusted you, he'd never have done any of it."

"I told him I knew he'd changed his mind about the wedding, and that I didn't care why. He never said that it wasn't why he married me."

"You've known Jensen a long time right?" Steve continued after Jared nodded. "His past has changed him, there's no doubt about it, but I'm betting even before then he still hid behind what people thought rather than being shoved into the spotlight by correcting the assumption. Then of course there's the part where I think Jensen would rather believe that he did this for protection than the real reason."

"What do you mean by the real reason?" Jared asked, not sure what Steve meant.

"He has feelings for you, ones that I'm sure he hasn't even let grace the light of day in his own head. He's so very oblivious sometimes it's almost endearing if it weren't so fucking frustarting." Steve shook his head smiling.

"I'm not so sure. I mean I know he has feelings for me, but I'm not sure they're the same ones you think they are." Jared swung his foot, bouncing the heel of his shoe off the ladder to the castle.

"Well I am. I've watched Jensen for awhile now. I can tell when he's trying to hide things, even when they're from himself."

"I hope your right," Jared said soberly.

"You love him," Steve stated, not even bothering to make it a question.

"I'm that transparent?"

"You're pretty much telegraphing it," Steve smiled.

"Well it wasn't really a secret, I've told him how I feel."

"Give him some time, he'll get there." Steve reassured. "As for your question earlier. Sometimes it brings back bad memories, but that's tempered by the knowledge that we can help people get through the same thing that someone helped us through. It's amazing the change that comes over the men, women and children we work with when they realize you're not just talking at them, but you're talking to them and you're talking from experience.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen couldn't help laugh at Chris' panicked expression. Sometimes he wondered if he could get away with a hidden camera just to capture some of the more amusing ones to use as blackmail.

"Chris calm down. You're not ever going to get it straight if you keep spazing out."

"I am not spazing!" Chris stated indignantly.

"Fine, fine, you're the epitome of cool and collected." Jensen said stifling a giggle.

Chris scowled at him, "It's not funny."

Jensen schooled his features into one of sympathy. "You're right it's not. Show me what you have for classes and therapy sessions and let's see what we can do with it."

Chris eyed him suspiciously, even as Jensen tried to keep his lips from twitching.

"You know karma is a bitch right, that baby is going to come out with your ears." Chris threatened.

"Hey! What's wrong with my ears?" Jensen asked covering the maligned body parts.

"Not a thing." Chris said grinning. "Dumbo," he whispered under his breath.

"I heard that." Jensen growled. "You're going to figure this mess you've got out on your own if you keep it up."

"I'll send Mike to keep you company during your classes," Chris shot back.

"I'm telling Steve," Jensen whined.

"You think I'm scared of Steve?" Chris asked haughtily.

"Uh... yeah," Jensen answered grinning as Chris deflated.

"Damn right I am," Chris mumbled, slumping down next to Jensen. "Where do we start?" he asked morosely.

"Give me the lists and let me look over it while you set up a grid."

"What do you want on it?" Chris asked as he handed over the information Jensen needed.

"Put all your counselors and teachers on one side, and we'll work the duties in at the top and add in times after." Jensen instructed as he turned and flipped papers trying to figure out what in the hell Chris had been doing.

Chris had just finished drawing in the lines when he remembered Jensen was supposed to have had a doctor's appointment today.

"So how did your visit to the doctors go?"

Jensen glanced up for a second before he focused back on the papers in his hand. "It went fine, my blood pressure was a little high. I'm going to have a sonogram next week, and they're going to recheck the blood pressure to see if it was a one shot deal, or if it's something that needs closer attention.

Chris frowned, "Are you sure you should be messing with this stuff?" he asked reaching out to take the lists from Jensen.

Jensen moved them out of his reach, "I'm fine, and this doesn't stress me out."

"You say that now," Chris moaned. "Wait until you think you have it fixed and then realize that Gabe is still in class when you have him scheduled to watch the kids."

"We'll get it worked out. When you've got this many different factors it's easier with two people anyway. Besides if anything was going to stress me out, the talk I had with Jared earlier should have done it."

"Why's that?" Chris asked as he blocked out the time Gabriel was in class so they didn't try to schedule him when he couldn't be there again.

"I told him about Joshua."

"I thought you'd already told him about Joshua." Chris looked up puzzled.

"No, I told him about him being my ex-husband. I mean I told him everything." Jensen clarified.

Chris nearly stabbed himself with his pencil when he realized what Jensen was saying. He set everything down and gave the conversation his entire attention.

"How did that go?"

"It actually went quite well. I wasn't sure you know, what he'd think about me after I told him, but I wanted to make sure he understood how dangerous Joshua was."

Chris prepared himself to stomp Jared into the ground if he'd made Jensen feel like shit. "So...."

"So he told me it wasn't my fault, and the only thing I did was try to make the best of a bad situation." Jensen kept his eyes on the papers.

Chris really would have preferred his friend to look him in the eye, but he could tell from the blush staining Jensen's cheeks, he was lucky to be getting this much out of him.

"Well he's right, not that I want you telling him that. It's way to early for him to think he's been okayed by me," Chris grumbled.

"We wouldn't want that would we?" Jensen said grinning.

"So have you told him how you feel about him?" Chris asked, picking up his pencil while he avoided looking at Jensen.

"How I feel?" Jensen parroted.

"Yes, you know how every time he walks in the room you blush a little, and your heart speeds up." Chris finally looked up to see Jensen's shell shocked face.

"I do not! How would you even know if my heart beat faster or not?" Jensen asked outraged.

Chris snorted, "Well the blush everyone can see, as far as your fast heartbeat. You just told on yourself, but I make a living of knowing just how scared people are. I just watch the pulse in your neck or the one beating at your temple," he gestured at Jensen's head. "I can tell exactly when your heart rate picks up," Chris finished grinning.

"You know I really don't know why we're friends," Jensen grumbled refusing to look at the man across from him.

Chris just chuckled and went back to his grid.

Three hours later they had the schedule worked out and were downstairs in the dining room eating sandwiches that Ellen had made for them. Chris had sent Jensen in to beg for food because he refused to step foot in the kitchen when Ellen was there for fear of losing body parts. Jensen just rolled his eyes and disappeared around the corner, coming back five minutes later pushing a tray of sandwiches, chips, fruit and glasses of iced tea.

"Good grief," Chris said helping Jensen load everything onto the table so it could be reached easily. "Why did she make so much?"

"She's calling Jared and Steve in," Jensen explained.

"Yeah but still," Chris said looking between the food and his friend.

"You've never seen Jared eat," Jensen grinned.

"Well no but I saw Jeff eat," Chris answered still gawking at the amount of food.

"Jeff always ate like he was half his size."

Thirty minutes later Chris and Steve both were slowly backing away from the table and Jensen was trying not to laugh out loud at their expressions. Jared didn't seem to realize that anything was amiss until Jensen finally lost his battle and burst out laughing.

"What?" he asked looking around when he decided he'd not get an answer out of Jensen while he was cackling.

"Man do you have hollow legs?" Chris asked.

Jared glanced down at his plate and then back at Steve and Chris. "What? I'm a growing boy. Why are you so far from the table?" Jared asked, waiting for an answer that was at least three minutes in coming.

"Because they're afraid you might mistake them for the next dish," Jensen gasped through tears.

Jared rolled his eyes and picked up another sandwich ignoring Jensen's giggles and Chris and Steve's incredulous gazes.


	10. Chapter 10

Jensen's sonogram was scheduled the day before the center's ribbon cutting ceremony. Jared had taken both days off, opting not to even open his office the day of the ceremony so Chad, who had been so busy nailing down details for the upcoming shoot and hadn’t had time to do anything but make phone calls and triple check lists could attend.  
　  
Jared pulled into the doctor's office bright and early, a grumpy Jensen in tow. Their appointment was at nine, so they could get a blood pressure first thing and Jensen would have a full bladder for his sonogram.  
　  
"My eyes are floating," Jensen complained for the tenth time.  
　  
Jared rolled his eyes but kept quiet on Jensen's need to repeat himself. He'd almost lost an arm when he'd walked too close with his coffee that morning. Jared usually drank it before he woke Jensen up. That way, it wouldn't be like taunting a hormonal bull, but they'd had to leave early that morning because of rush hour traffic. He was still trying to decide if Jensen's growl of displeasure turned him on or scared the shit out of him. He might have to settle for both which he'd have to add to the list of 'things he didn't know about himself'.  
　  
The nurse took Jensen's blood pressure, and was much happier with the readings, but told them they'd still be keeping a close eye on it throughout the pregnancy. The tech conducting the sonogram was way too cheerful for that time of the morning and Jared was afraid Jensen might rip her head off, but apparently, the thought of seeing their baby for the first time tempered his grumpy mood. She went over all the things they'd be looking for at this stage of the baby's development while she helped Jensen get settled and the gel applied across his stomach.  
　  
Jensen groaned a little when the tech started to move the wand across his stomach, pressing down to get a better picture, but forgot about the discomfort quickly when the heartbeat could be heard and finally a picture of their baby materialized on the screen. It was grainy and black and white, but they could see the little shape that looked, oddly enough, like a peanut. The tech started to point out the different features that had already started developing, and they could see the little heart going a mile a minute. Jared didn't even realize that sometime during the process Jensen had either reached for his hand or Jared had reached for his.  
　  
Jensen turned his head away from the screen for just a minute to see what Jared thought, realizing he wasn't the only one with tears in his eyes and a huge lump in his throat. He squeezed the hand he was holding without saying a word and turned back to the monitor, still in awe of the fact that they had made a baby, that this was their baby.  
　  
"It's still a little early to tell what the baby is, but we should be able to tell you in the next couple of scans," the tech said, hitting buttons to print out pictures.  
　  
She handed a copy to Jared and then another to Jensen, smiling at their thunderstruck expressions. "It's your first one isn't it?"  
　  
"Yes," Jared answered, struggling to pull his eyes away from the printouts. "How did you know?"  
　  
"I've been doing this for awhile. All the first timers have this dazed look during and after. It’s not that the second or third isn't just as amazing, but the first is always a discovery of the unknown, I guess."  
　  
Jared smiled at her explanation. He knew he probably had his mouth hanging open at some point during the scan. He noticed Jensen was finally done cleaning the gel off and was struggling to sit up. Jared stepped over, extending his hand so Jensen could take it, and used his other to support his husbands back, knowing it was still bothering him.  
　  
Once Jensen was on his feet, he looked around a little desperately, and the tech smiled, pointing at a door off the side of the room.  
　  
"Thanks," Jensen acknowledged before quickly disappearing to the bathroom to finally relieve the pressure on his bladder.  
　  
Jared grinned at the techs giggle. "I don't miss that at all," she confided.  
　  
"How many do you have?" Jared asked while he waited for Jensen to join them.  
　  
"Two, but we're thinking about a third. We just can't make up our mind if we should try now or wait until next year when the youngest will be three."  
　  
Jensen came out of the restroom then and the tech gave him his file so he could check out, telling them she'd see them next month.  
　  
They were quiet for the first few minutes on their drive to the center, both still processing seeing their baby for the first time.  
　  
"She's so little," Jensen said softly, finally breaking the comfortable silence.  
　  
"Yeah he is," Jared agreed, smiling at Jensen's snort, at him using the term ‘he’.  
　  
"I didn't think I could feel more awed than I already did, but....."  
　  
"Yeah, I think I forgot to breathe through most of it," Jared agreed.  
　  
Jensen smiled. It was nice to have someone that understood what he was feeling, even if he couldn't find the words.  
　  
\-------------------------------------------------------

The center was a bevy of chaos. Everyone that worked there plus dozens of volunteers were scurrying about, putting finishing touches on a multitude of projects. Jared had to dodge a petite blonde who almost plowed him over, her arms piled high with so many boxes she couldn't see over them.  
　  
"Sorry, sorry," she apologized before rushing away, presumably to divest herself of the load she was carrying.  
　  
Jensen snickered behind him, but when Jared turned around, his husband was looking at him wide eyed and innocent.  
　  
"Oh, that so does not work on me," Jared grumbled.  
　  
"It doesn't?" Jensen asked, batting his lashes. "Are you sure?"  
　  
Jared rolled his eyes, refusing to comment since he was lying through his teeth. Everything about Jensen worked on him, and he was sure everyone knew it but Jensen.  
　  
They found Chris upstairs, pulling out more extension cords for the sound system they were setting up outside. Jared helped him take them down the back steps to Tom, who was trying to keep Mike off the microphone at the same time. Jensen decided he'd be better helping Steve, who was in the kitchen with Ellen checking in a delivery of food. Steve turned his clipboard over to Jensen when Gabe came looking for muscle to help set up another tent.  
　  
"Is any of this for tomorrow?" Jensen asked, gesturing to the crates of food to be put away. He slid into one of the kitchen chairs, sighing when his back popped.  
　  
"Nope, this is all for next week," Ellen answered, grinning at Jensen's shocked expression.  
　  
"So, where's the food for the opening?"  
　  
"Oh, that's being catered. Matter of fact, it's one of Jared's friends. Didn't he tell you?"  
　  
"No, but we've both been so busy he probably forgot. Who's doing the catering?"  
　  
"Morgans. I've never been there but I've heard the food is fantastic," Ellen said as she opened another cabinet to put up boxes of spaghetti.  
　  
"It is, we had dinner there one night," Jensen acknowledged as he checked of the jars of tomato sauce and paste.  
　  
"Well, anyway, the owner came a few weeks back, said Jared had mentioned the center and the opening, and he offered his restaurant’s services if the guys were interested. They disappeared for about two hours and then Steve brought him by the kitchen to introduce him."  
　  
"Really?" Jensen asked. He knew Jared was friends with the owner, but he hadn't realized they were that close.  
　  
The catering for the opening would have set the center back a good chunk of change. He'd listened to Chris and Steve debate the pros and cons of spending so much and being worried they wouldn't be able to cover any unforeseen expenses cropping up. They had finally decided they would rather spend a little more and draw in some heavy contributors to cushion the center's funds.  
　  
"Yeah, I think it's a big weight off the guys. Jeff's bringing in some of his help and his manager is supposed to be here tomorrow to keep things rolling."  
　  
"Oh, it's Jeff, is it?" Jensen grinned at the blush spreading across Ellen's cheeks.  
　  
"Don't think I won't put you in your place once you deliver that little kumquat you have hidden in there," she threatened, brandishing a bushel of carrots at him.  
　  
"No, no I'll behave," Jensen promised, holding his hands up in surrender.  
　  
"You better," Ellen challenged.  
　  
They made quick work of checking the rest of the supplies off and putting things away while they talked about tomorrow’s activities.  
　  
Jensen was surprised to find out that Jeff Morgan himself was going to be taking over the kitchen and that Ellen was going to allow it. His flabbergasted look got him a swat to the shoulder, but it was worth it to see her blush again. He decided he'd ask Jared about Jeff later. Jensen was curious about Jared's friends, since he'd only met Chad.

Jared had met pretty much all of his close friends, not that there was a great number of them, but he wanted Jared to know that he was just as interested in his life as Jared was in his. After Jensen finished in the kitchen, he wandered outside looking for Jared. He found him with Gabe, finishing the tent set up.  
　   
"I thought Steve was helping you," Jensen said, nudging Gabe with his shoulder.  
　  
"He was, but Chris got a call from the hospital," Gabe answered.  
　  
Jensen nodded, understanding no one really needed an explanation as to why they'd left. They stayed until Chris and Steve got back several hours later, exhaustion and worry weighing down their shoulders. Jensen was happy they'd stayed and that everyone had really pulled together and gotten everything accomplished that could be done. The only things left were items that couldn't be completed until right before the grand opening.  
　  
Jensen promised they'd be back bright and early the next morning, both he and Jared ignoring Chris' protests that they had done enough and that Jensen needed his rest. Jensen rolled his eyes but Jared assured both Chris and Steve he'd make sure Jensen got enough rest or they would come a little later. Steve realized that was as good as they were going to get and Chris grudgingly agreed, thanking them both for staying and making sure everything on the list had been checked off.  
　  
The ride home was quiet with only the occasional comment about the center and what needed to be done the next day, but it was a pleasant, relaxed quiet that made Jensen smile. He was relieved that his friends had accepted Jared and even seemed to approve of his husband. Jensen wasn't sure why that pleased him so much, but he couldn't deny that it did.  
　  
As soon as they pulled into the garage, Jared hustled Jensen upstairs and told him to take a warm bath while he fixed them a snack. He'd kept a careful eye on his husband the whole day to make sure he wasn't doing more than he could handle. Other than the few times he'd caught Jensen rubbing the base of his back, Jared hadn't seen anything to concern him so a warm bath and a snack before bed would probably be all the damage control he needed to run at this point.  
　  
Jensen found Jared in the kitchen putting butter on the last few slices of toast. There were two large mugs of hot chocolate cooling on the table and one was topped with mini marshmallows.  
　  
"How did you know I wanted marshmallows?" Jensen asked, taking a tentative sip of the hot liquid.  
　  
Jared's mind blanked for a few seconds as he watched Jensen's tongue flick out and swipe the marshmallow fluff off his top lip.  
　  
"I do remember some things from when we were kids," Jared answered lightly, trying to ignore his body’s reaction to Jensen's unconsciously erotic gesture.  
　  
"Yeah, mama did always make us hot chocolate and toast when we'd been out working all day," Jensen reminisced fondly.  
　  
"I liked it best after we'd raked leaves," Jared joined in the trip down memory lane.  
　  
"It took us twice as long to finish because you and Jeff would always start a leaf war."  
　  
"No, Jeff started it, I had to defend myself." Jared smiled at the memory of childish pleasures.  
　  
"I really miss him," Jensen said quietly.  
　  
"I know you do. So do I," Jared sighed. "He knew, you know."  
　  
"Knew what?" Jensen asked.  
　  
"How much you loved him. How much we both loved him."  
　  
"Yeah, he did," Jensen agreed.  
　  
They sat quietly for a few minutes, drinking their hot chocolate and eating their toast.  
　  
Jensen finally broke the silence by leaning back and groaning. "That's it. No more or I won't be able to sleep tonight," he said, pushing his plate away.  
　  
"Do you need your antiacid medicine?" Jared asked, getting ready to get up.  
　  
"No, I'm fine but if I keep eating, I'm going to be miserable the rest of the night." Jensen paused for a second the mention of eating reminding him he wanted to ask Jared about his friend.  
　  
"Ellen told me that the owner of Morgans was going to cater the opening tomorrow."  
　  
"Yeah, I mentioned the opening to Jeff a while back. He wanted to do something, so I told him to talk to the guys.  
　  
"Oh, I didn't know you were that close," Jensen said.  
　  
"Well, we're friends, but I'm a also silent partner in the restaurant."  
　  
"I didn't know you were interested in the restaurant business," Jensen responded, still a little flustered at learning Jared was part owner.  
　  
"I'm not really. I met Jeff a few years ago at a party he was catering, and we got to talking. He had some interesting ideas and a passion to make it happen. I told him I'd be interested in backing him, and the rest you could say, is history."  
　  
"That simple?" Jensen asked, completely out of his depth when it came to something like that.  
　  
"Well, no, not really." Jared smiled, remembering some of the more comical delays. "We had to find the right location and then set it up, not to mention all the hiring and training." Jensen shuddered at all the millions of details he could imagine that entailed.  
　  
Jared laughed at Jensen's reaction. "Jeff took care of most of it, but he'll tell you he would have quit if Sandy hadn't been there to railroad everyone."  
　  
"Sandy?"  
　  
"Yeah, the brunette that sat us at the restaurant."  
　  
"The teeny tiny girl?" Jensen asked in disbelief.  
　  
"Yep, the teeny tiny hurricane," Jared grinned. "I'm not even going to try and convince you. You'll see for yourself tomorrow."  
　  
"Okay," Jensen answered dubiously.  
　  
"She was at one of the casting calls. She was questioning whether she even wanted to act, and I asked her what else she liked to do."  
　  
"She wasn't any good at acting?" Jensen asked.  
　  
"No, it wasn't that. I think it just wasn't what she really wanted to do. I got the impression that she had talked herself into wanting to be an actress, but she wasn't happy with the decision. Anyway, she just seemed like the right fit for what Jeff needed to keep things on an even keel. I sent her to see him and the rest is history."  
　  
"Is Jeff married?" Jensen asked suddenly.  
　  
"No," Jared answered perplexed. "Why?"  
　  
Jensen shrugged, "I got the impression that Ellen liked him," he grinned, thinking about the way she'd blushed.  
　  
"I haven't met anyone that doesn't," Jared agreed, not catching on. "That's why he needed someone like Sandy who could keep people from taking advantage of him. He's way to nice for his own good sometimes."  
　  
"No, I mean LIKE, like him."  
　  
"Oh," Jared started smiling. "Really?"  
　  
"Yup, she was blushing and everything, but most importantly, she's letting him in her kitchen."  
　  
"Well, this should be interesting," Jared smirked, especially if Jeff was interested as well.  
　  
He stood, taking the empty plates to the dishwasher. Jensen followed suit, grabbing the cups and rinsing them before he handed them to Jared.  
　  
"Ready for bed?" Jared asked, smiling at Jensen, who was trying to hide his yawn.  
　  
"Yeah, I think today was worn me out," Jensen agreed, stifling another yawn.  
　  
Jared left Jensen at his door with a quick kiss to his forehead, escaping before he gave into the desire to pull his husband in and not let go.  
　  
Jensen shut the door to his room and made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He was trying to ignore the little flare of disappointment that he'd felt when Jared had kissed his forehead. Jensen shook his head, irritation at himself for letting his hormones get the better of him. The little voice in Jensen's head that kept chanting *it might be something more than hormones* was quickly squashed for his own sanity’s sake.  
　  
He slid into bed, determined to get a good night’s sleep and stubbornly refused to examine the twist his stomach had given that could only be jealousy when Ellen had first mentioned Jeff Morgan. Jensen turned over with a growl, thumping his pillows into submission and trying to get comfortable. The combating voices in his head conspired to keep him from sleep, one arguing why he should have the right to jealous and the other just stomped around proclaiming Jared was his husband, and he had every right to be whatever he wanted to be.  
　  
Jensen sighed, knowing it was going to be a while before he fell asleep. No matter how tired his body was, his mind wasn't going to cooperate.  
　  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
　  
The morning of the ribbon cutting dawned clear and bright, the weather deciding to grace them with a temperature in the low seventies with just a hint of a breeze. Jared made sure they both brought their jackets since there was no telling when they'd get back home that night. The traffic was thankfully light, and they had a pleasant drive out of the city, Jared had made sure they'd have time to stop by and get hot drinks and pastries from Sophia, knowing once they got to the center, it would be non stop until lunch.  
　  
He tried hard to ignore the little noises of pleasure coming from the passenger seat as Jensen ate his cream filled pastry and sipped the hot chocolate that Sophia had made sure to add marshmallow too at Jared's request. He hadn't been too thrilled about the sugar overload, but the results more than changed his mind. He was beyond grateful that Jensen had suggested he wear baggy pants, so he'd be able to move comfortably through out the day.  
　  
Chris met them at the door, his calm demeanor a contradiction to the chaos that reigned behind him as people ran around finishing up last minute tasks. Chris stepped back to let them in, grinning at the accomplishment of finally getting to this day. Steve rounded the corner, trying to disengage himself from the petite blonde who'd nearly bulldozed Jared yesterday as she swung her hands in wild circles as she explained some detail involving Mike and the clothesline that was supposed to already be set up so they wouldn't have to use the dryers 24/7.  
　  
Jensen giggled and hid behind Jared when Steve shot him an ugly look, while continuing to listen to the woman beside him proceed to outline everything she still needed to do in rapid fire chatter. When she finally finished she glanced around, noticing her audience for the first time. Jared was rather shocked to see her blush bright red and scurry away.  
　  
Steve grinned at the reaction.  
　  
"She's a little shy with new people and not only are you new but you're big," he clarified.  
　  
Jared nodded. He'd become used to his size intimidating people. In his business, it came in handy, especially when dealing with studio bigwigs and bratty actors/actresses, but he didn't like it at all when it scared people already in a vulnerable state. He knew from talking with Jensen and the guys that most of the people working at the center had been abused in some way in their past, and he hated adding to their fear.  
　  
"I'm used to people being a little taken back by my size. I'll just work extra hard at being smaller," Jared replied, grinning as Jensen choked on a laugh.  
　  
"Yeah, you let me know how that goes for you," Chris responded, rolling his eyes.  
　  
"What's left to do?" Jensen asked, stepping around Jared and looking around for anything obvious.  
　  
"Not a thing that can be done until the last second, thanks to you two," Steve said.  
　  
"It wasn't just us, everyone was working like crazy," Jensen answered, blushing.  
　  
"I know, but it helps to have someone organizing and coordinating, and ya'll stayed and did that when you didn't have to."  
　  
"It was no problem at all," Jared assured the man, "we wanted to help. I'm just glad we could."  
　  
"Well, you have no idea how much we appreciate it. There was actually enough time to get in a few hours of sleep," Chris told them.  
　  
"Hey, is Jeff here yet?" Jared asked, wanting to introduce Jensen to his friend.  
　  
"Yep, showed up about five this morning, or so I heard anyway. Ellen is always up early. She likes her quiet time before she starts cooking for the staff," Steve explained.  
　  
"More like sharpening her knives," Chris grumbled under his breath.  
　  
"Are you still scared of her?" Jensen asked in a syrupy sweet voice.  
　  
"Boy, don't make me take all the lids off your paint tubes," Chris threatened.  
　  
Jared took one look at Jensen's horrified face and lost it. His ribs ached and he had tears running down his face before he could finally catch his breath. He almost lost it again when Jensen huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and pinning him with an aloof expression.  
　  
"I do not see the humor at all," Jensen grumbled, glaring at both Chris and his husband.  
　  
"I'm sorry," Jared apologized, feeling his lips twitch with the need to laugh again. "It's just I didn't expect that reaction over dried out paint."  
　  
"Well, how about if someone broke all your filming lights," Jensen shot back, grinning at the appalled look Jared flashed.  
　  
"See, not so funny now is it?" Jensen prodded.  
　  
"Fine, you're both freaks," Chris answered before Jared could. "You may want to make sure Ellen hasn't stuffed Jeff in the oven. Steve and I have some chairs to set up so we'll see you later," he finished as he pulled Steve in the direction of the back door.  
　  
Jensen shook his head and grabbed Jared's hand, easing his way to the kitchen. When he heard no sounds of distress, he pushed the door open slowly just in case. Jensen stifled a giggle when he caught two heads bent over a pot on the stove, both parties so involved in the concoction neither noticed they were no longer alone.  
　  
Jared peered over Jensen's shoulder to see what had tickled his husband, smiling at his friends smitten look.  
　  
"Appears you were right," Jared whispered in Jensen's ear. He smiled when the man shivered and leaned back into the hand Jared had resting at the base of Jensen's spine.  
　  
Jensen cleared his throat, snickering when Ellen and Jeff jumped apart like they'd been caught doing something other than cooking.  
　  
Ellen glared at Jensen blushing, but Jeff broke into a huge grin when he realized Jared was standing in the doorway.  
　  
"Hey, man, you're early," Jeff observed.  
　  
"Not too much. We promised Chris and Steve, we'd help out on any last minute details, but it looks like everything is going smoothly," Jared answered, moving around Jensen so he could introduce them.  
　  
"Jensen, this is Jeff. Jeff this is my husband Jensen," Jared proclaimed proudly.  
　  
Jensen shook Jeff's hand, a warm glow spreading through his chest at Jared's obvious pride. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve the way Jared felt for him, but he couldn't debate the way it made him feel. They talked for a few minutes before a small blur shot past them and skidded to a stop.  
　  
Jared laughed as Sandy looked around at everyone, blinking in the bright lights of the kitchen.  
　  
"Oh," she squeaked.  
　  
Jensen grinned, "Chris told you someone was probably being killed didn't he?"  
　  
"Yeah, how did you know?"  
　  
"He tells everybody who has to come in here that. He's scared of Ellen, so he thinks everyone should be too," he explained.  
　  
"Why?" Sandy asked perplexed, looking over at the woman in question.  
　  
"Why is he scared or why does he tell everyone that?" Jensen asked.  
　  
"Either," she paused a second. "Actually, both."  
　  
"I've no idea why. I'm sure Ellen knows," Jensen said, grinning as Ellen shrugged her shoulders. "But she's not talking," Jensen finished.  
　  
"As for Chris telling everyone there's a homicide, I think he just likes to see everyone panic," Jensen said, smiling.  
　  
Sandy looked around shrugging when nothing else seemed to be forthcoming. She suddenly broke out in a wide grin, "You're Jensen aren't you?"  
　  
"How did you know?" Jensen asked a little confused.  
　  
"Well, Jared hasn't moved more than a half an inch away, and he said you were gorgeous," Sandy explained.  
　  
She laughed as Jensen blushed all the way to the roots of his hair.  
　  
Jensen darted a glance at Jared over his shoulder who in turned just grinned and shrugged.  
　  
Everyone talked for a few more minutes before Jared and Jensen cleared out so Jeff and Ellen could go back to cooking and Sandy could start organizing.  
　  
Eight hours later, the party was over and cleanup had begun. Jensen thought the opening had been a great success. The speeches had gone off without a hitch, something Chris and Steve had both been stressing about. The food was absolutely fantastic and Jeff had even made hot dogs, hamburgers and pizza for the few children that were in attendance, making everyone happy. Of course, he'd caught Jared sneaking a hamburger and gotten busted himself with a slice of pizza, but it was worth it.  
　  
Jeff was as great at comfort food as he was at the high dollar fare. Jensen had seen Sandy flitting in and out like a hummingbird through the whole event, never seeming to settle anywhere for more than a few seconds at a time. He wondered if she crashed when she went home, or if she was one of those mysterious people that had boundless amounts of energy that had to be burnt off. He was exhausted just watching her work.  
　  
Jared refused to let him stay through the clean up, Jensen only giving up when Steve threatened to get Chris if he didn't go home and rest. He didn't want to admit it, but his back was killing him, and he was really tired which was just frustrating. He knew he should be used to it, but it always blind sided him when his body rebelled on him and left him with no control.  
　  
The ride home was filled with talk of how well everything had gone and what had been the best. Jared, of course, kept his opinion that watching Jensen talking to the little girl who'd fallen and skinned her knee was probably the most memorable, to himself. The little girl who couldn't have been more than four had been skipping around the tent and the strap on her shoe causing a tumble onto a rocky patch. Jensen had seen her stumble and picked her up just as her lip started to quiver.  
　  
His husband had sat with her on his lap while Gabriel had gone for the first aid kit and Mike went in search of her parents. By the time both had been located and brought to the little girl, who'd told Jensen shyly her name was Emily, she was telling him a story about her new puppy and had forgotten all about her skinned knee. She wouldn't leave Jensen's lap until her knee had been cleaned and covered with a Hello Kitty band aid. When she finally let her mom retrieve her, she insisted on giving Jensen a kiss on the cheek.  
　  
If Jared hadn't been totally and completely in love with Jensen, he'd have fallen down the rabbit hole at that very moment. As he was already head over heels, he pictured their child coming to Jensen with his or her owies and his husband kissing them better and wiping tears away. The picture he imagined filled him with an all encompassing warmth, and he couldn't wait to meet their baby and start another new chapter in his life.  
　  
Jared looked over at Jensen, who'd gotten quiet as Jared had been navigating a traffic snarl and realized Jensen had dozed off. His head rested against the glass, his hands covering the small bump where their child was growing. Jared smiled remembering the fight Jensen had put up wanting to help with the clean up and his assertions that he wasn't sleepy. Jared pulled into the garage, taking a few minutes to sit and watch Jensen sleep, his breath fogging the window.  
　  
"Hey," Jared said softly, reaching over and nudging Jensen's shoulder.  
　  
He couldn't help the tug of desire in his stomach watching Jensen blink his eyes open, and rub a hand across his face.  
　  
"We home already?" Jensen asked, looking around still dazed from his nap.  
　  
"Yep, why don't you go on inside and get ready for bed."  
　  
Jensen looked at his watch. "It's not even ten o'clock yet."  
　  
"I know, but you're obviously tired, and it's been a long day. I'm probably going to turn in early myself."  
　  
Jensen pushed his door open, stopping to look back at Jared. "You're coming in right?"  
　  
"Yeah, I've just got to replace a bulb on the porch. I noticed it was out last night, but we left so early this morning I forgot until now."  
　  
"All right," Jensen said, stifling a yawn and shuffling towards the door.  
　  
Jared watched him climb the steps before he grabbed the box of outdoor bulbs and went to change the light. By the time he made it inside and up the stairs, Jensen's light was off but the door was cracked. It was the first time that Jensen hadn't shut his door all the way, and while most people wouldn't see that as progress Jared counted it as a win.  
　  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
　  
Over the next month and a half, they slipped into a routine. Jared made Jensen the few breakfast items he knew how and wouldn't aggravate his husband’s stomach. Jared would head to the lot for filming and Jensen would go to the center on his class days and split his time between painting, sketching, and driving Sophia batty at the bakery.  
　  
Jared had spent time at the center and Jensen had made trips to the office. Chad had been thrilled to have someone else on his side when Jared was being particularly bitchy, Chad's words. Jensen only took his side half the time as he was certain Jared should get a pass when having to deal with Alba and Cruise daily, especially after he'd spent time reading up on the two divas.  
　  
The end of April rolled around with sure certainty and Jensen didn't realize how much he'd come to enjoy spending time with Jared until he was seeing him off at the airport. Jared had promised to call everyday, even though Jensen had told him he didn't have to. Jared explained it wasn't a matter of having to, but that he wanted to. He could tell Jensen liked his answer by the small smile that graced his husband's face.  
　  
Jensen spent the first day wandering from room to room, trying to figure out how just knowing Jared wasn't coming home that night made him feel lost. He couldn't even call because Jared was going to be in and out of airports and on planes most of the day. That night when he crawled into bed, it took him a long time to go to sleep.  
　  
He'd never realized how slow two weeks could crawl by. Jensen had a day and a half to go before Jared made it home, and he was trying to decide if he should cook or order out. He turned on the TV before wandering into the kitchen to look for something that he felt comfortable cooking, since he was still learning some of the more complicated recipes he'd decided he wanted to try. He'd just opened the refrigerator door when the newscaster mentioned Jared's name. Curious, he padded to the doorway to try and catch the report.  
　  
Jensen stood blinking as the overly enthusiastic woman reported that Jared Padalecki had found another starlet to warm his bed. The picture on the screen showed Jared walking through what looked like a club area, the streets covered with rainwater that hadn't drained away yet, with Jessica Alba wrapped around him like a second skin. The actress was wearing a barely there dress that in the back of Jensen's head he was trying to figure out how it defeated gravity and stayed up. On autopilot, he turned off the TV and headed to the bathroom in a daze.  
　  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
　  
Jared could not believe the shit that he'd had to put up with. Not only had Cruise thrown the biggest tantrum that made his sofa jumping look mild, over grapes none the less, but Alba had tried to get herself murdered. Then to top it off, he'd gotten up this morning and there had been a fucking picture of them slapped across the daily rag, with Jessica gloaming to him like a damn octopus. His hope of it only being a local shit storm were dashed when Chad rang his room to tell him that not only was it online, but that the national entertainment networks were running with it as well.  
　  
"Fucking Hell!" Jared cursed.  
　  
"I've already put in a call to the lawyers and left messages at all the networks to pull the story or else. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to issue a statement as to the reason you were there, and that you're happily married. I don't know how they haven't found that out yet either," Chad mused. He was used to taking care of the bullshit that came with his friend’s job he just didn't usually have to worry about anyone but Jared. Now, though, there was Jensen to take care of as well, and he wasn't going to see either of his friends hurt by Alba being the stupid bitch that she was.  
　  
"I need to call Jensen," Jared mumbled, hoping like hell his husband hadn't seen any of the crap he was scrolling through online.  
　  
"Um...."  
　  
"What? Did he call you?" Jared asked.  
　  
"No, but I tried to call him, and it went straight to voice mail," Chad informed him.  
　  
"Maybe he's just busy," Jared offered hopefully.  
　  
"Maybe..." Chad said unbelieving.  
　  
"You don't think so do you?"  
　  
"He told me once E was a guilty pleasure. He said he had no idea why he watched it, but he compared it to you always stalling on the Spanish channel even though the only five words you know are dirty words."  
　  
"Fuck! Let me try anyway," Jared sighed.  
　  
"Good luck, man. If you need me, you know where I am," Chad said before he hung up.  
　  
Jared dialed Jensen's phone, praying his husband would pick up, but each call went to voice mail. After the tenth voicemail, each more desperate than the last in under and hour his phone rang.  
　  
"Jared, I'm going to say this, and then I'm going to hang up before I say something I may regret."  
　  
Jared recognized Steve's voice calmly ringing through his headset.  
　  
"Stop calling Jensen. He's fine and the baby's fine. Yes, he saw the report obviously, or I wouldn't be the one calling. He said he'd talk to you when you got home." Steve paused before continuing, "as for me, I'll be waiting for an explanation after you talk to Jensen, and remember Chris may be oblivious to what goes on in Hollywood but the man has a degree in Jensen."  
　  
"Will Jensen be at home?" Jared asked, a little afraid of the answer.  
　  
"He said he would," Steve answered before he hung up.  
　  
"Shit!" Jared groaned, closing his phone and grabbing his carry on to board the plane.  
　  
Chad was packing the rest of his luggage and bringing it back with him, all Jared had been concerned with was getting to Jensen. He'd taken the first available flight, not really caring if they put him in the belly with the luggage as long as he was on it. Three flights and seventeen hours later, Jared was standing on his doorstep, trying to get the key in the door. His hands were shaking and he couldn't remember a damn one of the million different conversations, he'd planned in his head.  
　  
The door opened suddenly and Jensen stood in front him, his eyes wide with shock before Jared could see the walls slam back into place, hiding what his husband was thinking. Jensen turned and headed into the living room leaving Jared to come in and close the door behind him.  
　  
"Would you like something to eat or maybe take a shower and change?" Jensen asked, polite tone starting to grate on Jared's nerves already.  
　  
"No, I want you to tell me what's going on in that head of yours, and I want to tell you what happened," Jared answered, a little confused.  
　  
"There's nothing going on, and you don't owe me any explanations. I do however remember me asking you to keep your affair quiet and discreet, of which that was neither," Jensen said without looking above Jared's chest.  
　  
"Number one, I didn't have an affair, and number two, I told you I wasn't interested in that sort of marriage."  
　  
"That's not really how it looks Jared. I mean, if you've decided that you want to sleep with other people then at least have the courtesy to tell me and not try to sweep it under the rug," Jensen said a little heat creeping into his voice.  
　  
Jared was almost happy to hear it, at least then he knew Jensen wasn't unaffected, that he did care no matter what he was trying to project with this little sit down he was having right now. Jared just had to find a way to reach him and fix this mess.  
　  
"Jensen, I did not have an affair with Jessica, I can't even stand to be in the same room with her for more than an hour. Some of the crew went out drinking. It wasn't the best part of town, and she tagged along. When it was time to go, she wouldn't leave and one of the guys called me because they didn't want to leave her there alone. They figured as the producer, I could use her contract to motivate her out of the bar. I couldn't just leave her there to get raped and murdered because that's what would have happened," Jared explained as calmly as he could, the memory of having to deal with a drunken Alba irritating just about as much as the actual event had.  
　  
He waited for Jensen to process the information, hoping there wouldn't be any reason to address the gut gnawing fear that was building in his stomach.  
　  
"So, you just went straight down there and did your knight in shining armor thing. How did she repay you?" Jensen asked. He knew he was being nasty but the jealousy churning in his stomach was pushing him to strike out and he hated it.  
　  
"What?"  
　  
"You heard me," Jensen stood up and started pacing.  
　  
Jared was tired and he was already pissed at the whole mess. Jensen's snide question had him seeing red. He was standing before he realized it, advancing on his husband even as his brain told him to take it easy.  
　  
"I haven’t cheated on you, I've never even thought about cheating on you, and I won't ever cheat on you." Jared tried to reign in his temper when he saw Jensen flinch at the volume his voice was heading towards. "Furthermore, even if I had, it wouldn't have been sleeping with other people, we haven't slept together since that one time. And since we're on the subject of other people in this relationship. How about we discuss how you still can't let Jeff go. How you're hiding behind his memory and not even giving us a chance. If you really wanted this to work then how about stop being such a damn coward and step out of his shadow and really try. I know you loved him, but you were with him because he was safe, and, yeah, I think you'd have been happy but I also think you'd have been bored out of your mind before the ink was dry on the marriage license!" Jared finished, his chest heaving, the curtain of red finally lifting.  
　  
Jensen hadn't budged from his spot at the fireplace, even with being loomed over, which in the back of Jared's mind he counted as a small consolation that his husband wasn't scared of him at least. However, neither had Jensen uttered a word, and the color was completely drained from his face. Jared reached out to try and soothe some of the pain chasing across Jensen's features. Even if what he'd said were true, he could have done a hell of a better job at saying it and now sure hadn't been the right time.  
　  
Jensen shrank back before Jared's hand could make contact with any part of his body, whirling around and heading out of the room. Jared heard the front door slam and the car start before he could even make his feet give chase. By the time he made it outside, the car was pulling through the gates and leaving a trail of leaves whipping in its wake.  
　  
Jared walked back inside, closing the door quietly and sliding down to sit in the floor.  
　  
"Shit," he breathed.


	11. Chapter 11

Jared wasn't sure, how long he sat by the door but the sun had started sliding down the sky and his ass had gone numb. He jumped when his phone started ringing, praying that it was Jensen the whole time he struggled to get it out of his pocket, and hearing fabric rip in the process. His heart fell when he saw Chad's name on the caller id.

"Yeah," he answered gruffly.

"I'm between flights, I thought I'd see how things were going. You are home right?" Chad asked.

"Yeah, I'm home," Jared confirmed.

"It didn't go well?" Chad's voice fell, worried about both his friends.

"Nope," Jared answered, heaving a sigh. "I let my temper get the better of me, and I opened my mouth."

"What did you say?" Chad's mind was already whirring with ways to run damage control.

"I may have told him he needed to get over Jeff." Jared offered quietly.

Chad's sharp intake of breath told Jared what he'd been positive of. He'd fucked up big time.

"Not in a tactful manner I'm assuming," Chad prodded.

"No, not really," Jared acknowledged morosely.

"Great! Where is he right now?"

"I don't know," Jared answered, worry bleeding through.

"What do you mean you don't know? How long ago did he leave?" Chad asked.

Jared looked at his watch, his anxiety shooting up another few notches. "Bout four hours," he finally answered.

"Do you know where he'd go?"

"Maybe the center, but I don't think I should call there right now."

"They know what's going on?" Chad questioned, already scrolling through his phone for the number.

"Steve saw the reports, I'm not sure about Chris." Jared grunted as he pulled himself to his feet.

"Okay, I'll call Steve and you call that chick he's always talking about."

"Sophia?"

"Yeah, that's her."

"What if she hasn't heard from him? I don't want to worry her."

"Just tell her you got back early, and you wanted to surprise Jensen so you were wondering about what time he'd be home," Chad suggested.

"That could work," Jared agreed, making his way to the kitchen.

"Jensen doesn't strike me as someone who can hold a grudge," Chad offered, glancing up at the boarding times.

"No, he's not, but he could give me a run for my money in the stubborn department," Jared answered, pausing as the tinny sound of an announcement came through the phone.

"Hey, they just called my flight. Let me give Steve a quick call. If Jensen is there, I'll call you back, even if I miss the flight, but if you don't hear from me then you know he's not there. I'll call you when we land," Chad promised and hung up before Jared could even open his mouth to respond.

Jared grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, bringing the cool surface to his forehead. He felt like his brain was too big for his skull and the pressure was going to crack his head in half.

He hated having to push, but he'd done everything he knew to do and nothing had shifted Jensen out of living in the bubble he'd created surrounded by Jeff's memory. Of course, even he knew that the way he'd approached the subject was fucked up. He'd been tired and frustrated and hurt that Jensen would believe he'd do something like cheat, and he'd lashed out without thinking.

Jared had no idea how he'd forgotten how stubborn Jensen could be. He couldn't fathom how the summer Jeff had taught Jensen to surf had skipped his memory, he'd been certain Jensen was going to drown before he could stand up straight on the board. The kid had kept at it though, even Jeff's unflagging enthusiasm was starting to get soggy by the time Jensen finally rode a wave to his satisfaction.

Two months later and you would have never guessed Jensen was a novice before the summer started. Jeff always called him hardheaded. Jared remembered a few choice explicatives crossing his lips when he thought he was seriously going to have to drag the kid's body to shore. Now those same words crossed his lips again just imagining how hard it was going to be to get back to where they had been, if Jensen would even let him try.

"Oh yeah, things are looking brighter every day," Jared muttered to himself, dropping into a chair and punching in Sophia's number.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had driven around aimlessly for a while before he found himself at the cemetery. He hadn't been back since Jeff had been buried and the guilt he felt just sitting outside the tree shrouded walkway was almost enough to make him throw up. Jensen wasn't sure why he'd found his way here but could only assume his need to talk to Jeff transcended death and the fact that he'd not get a verbal answer.

He took one more deep breath before pushing open the door, grabbed the blanket he always kept in his vehicle, and made his way through the shaded path, the sun leaving patches between the leaves and warming him in short snatches as he made his way to Jeff's headstone.

****************

When he calmed down enough to really think about it Jared was right, Jeff had been safe. Jensen knew what to expect from him, how to make him happy, how to love him and be loved by him. They agreed on most everything and what few things they didn't weren't important enough for either of them to even bring up in conversation. With Jared, though, there were surprises around every corner. Take movies for example, if Jensen had been thinking clearly the day he visited Jared's office, he'd have paid attention to all the original promotional posters for old movies. It had taken his third visit for him to even notice them and to realize they even liked the same kinds of movies, well except for the Texas Chainsaw one.

Then there were books. They both had they're favorite authors they defended vehemently. What surprised Jensen was Jared's willingness to reread books and give them a second chance. On several such occasions, Jared would agree that they had been worth the second chance and they had discussed what he'd liked about them. Jensen had also reread books that he thought were too dry originally but seemed to find deeper meaning in the second time around.

However, there had been times that both had given a book or a movie another shot and found they still disliked it, at those times the disagreements would become hysterically funny to whomever was around. One such occasion, Sophia was lounging by the pool and Jensen and Jared were arguing about some book that Jared had said needed to be on the most boring list for the year.

"It was as dry as the Sahara, and the writer's comments were tasteless," Jared complained.

"Just because you don't like her personal stance doesn't mean she was tasteless. Obviously, you're the one with no taste," Jensen grumbled.

"Oh no, my taste is just fine," Jared said, in a quiet voice.

Jared grabbed the empty pitcher and excused himself to make some more lemonade. Jensen's face was screwed up in confusion. Jared would say things like that every now and then, and it never failed to baffle him. Sophia bursts out laughing, causing Jensen to scowl at her.

"You don't get it do you?" She asked.

"Get what?"

"Nothing darling, you'll figure it out," she said, reaching over and patting his hand.

"Well, it'd be nice if someone would just tell me already," Jensen had bemoaned.

*******************************

Jensen spread the blanket out and lowered himself to sit so he could rest his back against the cold stone, remembering when he and Jeff used to sit with their backs propping each other up as they talked.

He sat for a long time, not saying anything, just thinking about how his life had changed and shifted, never seeming to settle into the slow meandering stream of life he wanted to enjoy. When he finally felt the need to verbalize his fears, the sun had started to dip low in the sky.

When he finally stood, groaning at the ache in his back and his bladder, his watch told him he'd been gone for over six hours. He swore quietly, grabbing the blanket and moving as quickly as his sore joints would let him. He had no idea he'd been gone so long. Jensen threw the blanket in the backseat and grabbed his phone off the console, dropping his head onto the steering wheel at the dozens of missed messages. Some from Steve and Sophia and a few were even from Chad.

"Great," he muttered, dialing Steve first and assuring him he was fine and on his way home. Sophia was easier, since she had been at the shop all day and didn't know what was going on. Jensen promised to call her the next day and catch her up even though he knew when she found out about the news report, there was going to be hell to pay. He couldn't get up with Chad and figured he was in the air somewhere but he left a message that he'd call him the next day as well.

He stopped at the first gas station he saw, filling up the tank and hitting the washroom to empty his other one. He didn't attempt to call Jared because while he'd made some decisions in his life, he still hadn't quite found the words he needed to start that conversation with his husband.

Jensen pulled into the garage, shutting off the engine and sitting for a moment, trying to settle his nerves. He knew putting off the inevitable wasn't going to help either of them so sighing he headed for the house. He didn't realize just how exhausted he was until he walked into the living room and found Jared sprawled in a chair. His cell phone was clutched in one hand and the other was holding a water bottle which he was about to lose to gravity.

Jensen couldn't help but smile at the picture Jared made his head leaned back, mouth slightly open, small snores escaping. He couldn't find it in him to wake his husband up. He knew Jared had not had a fun two weeks, on top of the stress the report must have caused. Add to that the seventeen odd hours it had taken him to get home and he had to be beyond tired. Jensen took the bottle of water out of Jared's hand and placed it on the table, removing his cell from his other and doing the same with it after he'd turned the ringer off.

Jared mumbled something in his sleep and shifted but didn't wake. Jensen pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping Jared up after removing his shoes. He made his way upstairs, his feet dragging the last few steps and yawning so wide his vision was obscured. Thankfully, he knew the route by heart. He changed into soft sweats before completing his nightly regime, and was sound asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared woke in a panic. He'd called Sophia and was debating calling Steve no matter how much he didn't want to and then nothing. When he jumped to his feet, he nearly broke his neck tripping over something tangled around his feet. On closer inspection, it was the blanket that Jensen kept on the couch, and he was pretty sure he hadn’t gotten it himself. His shoes were also sitting by the door, and he knew damn well he hadn’t taken those off because he’d wanted to be prepared if he had to go and find Jensen.

He glanced over at the table and found his cell phone and water bottle both sitting were he hadn't put them. Jared quickly made his way upstairs, noticing the night light in the hall was on and Jensen's door was cracked. He pushed it open just a bit and almost passed out from the air leaving his lungs at the sight of his husband tucked safely in his bed. He pulled the door back and moved to the side, leaning against the wall trying to still the rapid beat of his heart.

Jared wasn't sure exactly what everything meant but Jensen had come home, and had tried to make him comfortable before going to bed. However, the thing that made Jared the happiest was that he hadn't shut his door. He didn't know how much damage had been done, but Jensen at least came home, and he hadn't lost all the trust they'd built.

He checked the downstairs, making sure everything was locked up, and made his way to his own bedroom, unable to stop himself from checking on his husband again just to satisfy himself that he was indeed safely at home. Even with the many thoughts and worries still plaguing his mind, it took mere minutes for sleep to catch up to him and send him into oblivion.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen came awake the next morning to the sun shining through the blinds and the birds chirping happily in the trees outside. He groaned and covered his head with his pillow, not wanting to start the day just yet. Yesterday had been a shitty day all the way around, and today he needed to talk to Jared, but a few more minutes in bed couldn't hurt. Jensen lay there listening for a minute but there were no noises coming from down the hall or the stairs so he assumed Jared was still asleep. The time zones and stress could be a killer on the body. He knew that from experience.

He rolled over, debating how to start the conversation they needed to have, but no matter how many different ways he came up with, they all seemed wrong. Jensen knew he owed Jared an apology. He was certain that the explanation that Jared had given him had been the truth, and if he were honest with himself, he'd already known that Jared hadn't cheated on him. It had been good old fashioned jealousy and maybe a small dose of past experience that had made him lash out instead of listening.

Realizing he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, he crawled out of the warm bed and made his way to the bathroom. He had been so tired when he'd come home last night, he hadn't taken a shower, and he couldn't think of a better way to start the day, since he couldn't do it with coffee.

Jared had been lying in bed for the last few minutes trying to motivate himself to get up. He heard the water turn on down the hall, and let out a relived sigh at not having to face his husband just yet. He wasn't sure how Jensen would feel about him after his comments yesterday, and he still hadn't found a way that he thought would convey just how sorry he was for saying the things he'd said in the way he had. Jared really wanted a shower but he didn't want Jensen to leave without them having the talk they needed to so he made his way downstairs to start breakfast.

Jensen stepped out of the shower, grabbing the towel off the rack, the smell of bacon hit him followed quickly by sausage and his stomach rumbled. He couldn't actually remember eating yesterday, which would be a good reason for the lightheadedness and the bear formerly known as his stomach making itself heard Jensen thought, doubling over from a hunger pain.

Jared was just sliding the last pancake onto the platter when Jensen appeared in the doorway. He'd been trying to figure out what to say to fix the mess that yesterday had become.

"I'm sorry..." they both started at the same time.

Jared cleared his throat and Jensen ducked his head, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Why don't we eat while the foods hot, and then we can talk," Jared suggested.

Jensen's head came up, searching Jared's face. He offered a tentative smile, nodding as he slid into a chair.

"Okay."

"I wasn't sure what you'd feel like eating so I made a little bit of everything." Jared explained the several different dishes on the table.

"My stomachs feeling pretty steady right now, but I don't want to overdo it just in case," Jensen answered as he put scrambled eggs and toast on his plate.

"Thanks for cooking breakfast. Cassandra said she'd be around later to do some dusting, and she was going to bring some casseroles and a lasagna by." Jensen offered, around a bite of eggs.

"I asked her to come by a little more while I was gone just in case you needed help with anything." Jared acknowledged, sliding several slices of bacon onto his plate.

"It was nice having someone else around. We talked about some of the plans I've been having for my next show."

"When were you going to do another one?" Jared asked, worried that Jensen was going to push himself to hard.

"Oh lord, not right away. I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with the baby, and I still have several commission pieces to do. I just know the gallery will want to do one. It's going to be at least a year before I'm ready, probably closer to two with the baby."

Jared relaxed at the generous time gap, thankful that Jensen was going to take his time doing his next project. His husband had handled the pressure of his last show, and all the chaos their life had been over the last few months wonderfully, but Jared knew they had taken a toll. His breakfast finished, he reluctantly set his fork down because he wasn't ready for the easy camaraderie to slip away. Jensen set his dishes aside as well, taking a minute to finish his juice.

Jensen cleared his throat, "Why don't you take a shower while I clean up, and then we can talk?"

Jared really wanted to get things settled between them, but he hadn't showered in almost two days now, and it was slowly starting to make him itch. Anytime he traveled, the first thing he did when he got home was take a night long hot shower. It helped relax the tension in noted muscles and washed away the gritty film he felt settled over him when he'd spent the day in planes, taxis and waiting areas.

Jensen smiled when Jared grudgingly agreed, promising he wouldn't take long.

"Take as long as you need. I'll probably be in the solarium when you get finished, come and find me, and then we can talk."

Jared took a little longer than he'd first planned. The hot water had felt so good against his neck and shoulders, he'd stood there relishing the feel for several minutes before he cleaned up and got out to find Jensen.

Jensen was indeed in the solarium and Jared took several seconds just to look at his husband who was standing at one of the windows staring out at the rose garden. He wasn't really sure how to start this conversation but he needed to get the air clear, so they could move forward. Jared cleared his throat, grimacing when Jensen jumped and turned around.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Jared said sheepishly.

"It's alright, I was off in my head somewhere," Jensen answered smiling, moving to the couch in the corner.

When Jared realized just how lost Jensen became in his work, he'd ordered a comfortable couch and a set of chairs to go in the room, hoping that Jensen would take the hint and rest when his body pushed him to.

Jared sat down in one of the chairs. "I'm sorry, about the way things happened last night," Jared apologized, grasping for the right words to explain."

"Did you mean them?" Jensen asked, his voice quiet.

Jared started to answer and then paused. He wasn't going to lie, but he needed Jensen to understand what he'd meant.

"Yes." he took a breath readying himself to explain, but Jensen started talking before he could finish.

"Then don't apologize. If you meant it Jared, there's nothing to say you're sorry about." Jensen offered him a small sad smile, "I understand it must be frustrating for you," he said quietly.

"That doesn't mean I had to say it the way I did or when I did, for that matter."

Jensen inclined his head in silent understanding, dropping his eyes back to his hands. Jared watched him scrunch the leg of the sweat pants he was wearing into a knot and then smooth it out before starting the process over again. He slid out of his chair and knelt in front of the couch, grabbing Jensen's hands to still their nervous movements.

"I am frustrated. It feels like we're at a stand still, and I don't know how to push us forward, but I'm not giving up. You told me that it would take you time, and I get that, I do, but I need to feel like we're making some sort of progress," Jared tried to explain, hoping Jensen would understand.

"I know," Jensen acknowledged so quietly Jared had to lean forward just to catch the words.

Jensen still hadn't lifted his eyes from where their hands were now joined.

"Jensen," Jared said his name gently, hoping to get a reaction other than the tense set of Jensen's shoulders.

"I don't think you cheated on me," Jensen blurted out, still not looking up.

"What?" Jared asked, confused at the abrupt turn of the conversation.

"You know, with that actress," Jensen explained, refusing to say her name. "I don't think you cheated on me."

"Then why were you so upset?"

Jensen shrugged. "It caught me off guard, the pictures... Then there were the whole flashbacks to Joshua, and I may have been a little jealous," Jensen trailed off, mumbling the last part.

"You were what?" Jared asked, not sure he'd heard right, his pulse leaping at the implication.

"I was a little jealous," Jensen admitted just above a whisper.

Jared couldn't keep talking to the top of Jensen's head, so he tipped his husband's chin up until he could actually see his eyes.

"There's absolutely no reason for you to be jealous. I don't want anyone but you and I'll wait as long as I have to, I just needed to know there’s actually a chance we could be something more," Jared said, leaning in and placing a light kiss against Jensen's forehead.

"I guess me being jealous sort of proved that then, huh?" Jensen asked sheepishly.

"It's a start," Jared answered, smiling.

"So, um. What do you usually do when people report stuff that's not true about you?" Jensen asked. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"No, not really, I mean, I usually just ignore it, unless they really say something that's slanderous. I've not ever had anyone to worry about it bothering before, unless you count my mother, but then she gets pissed if someone gives a bad movie review so you know I can only do so much with that one." Jared shrugged, grinning at the last time his mom went on a tear about people with poor taste and how parents failed at teaching their children manners.

"I don't know if I'd like people saying things about me that weren't true."

"You've kept a very low profile in your personal life, so you've never had to worry about it that much, but it's going to be a bigger issue now," Jared warned.

"I figured," Jensen's voice showed his distaste for the idea.

"Speaking of press, Chad thinks we need to release a statement as to our marital state, and that we are having a baby." Jared passed along Chad's thoughts on the matter.

Jensen knew Jared wouldn't push him to do something he really didn't want to do, and to be honest, the thought of media getting involved in their personal lives scared the shit out of him. However, another part of him was cheering at the possibility of staking his claim. They'd kept the news quiet in deference to Jensen's request, one he'd made for fear that Joshua would retaliate, not that Jared had known about Joshua at the time when Jensen had requested privacy, but now that Joshua knew, he didn't think it would do any more damage to announce it publicly.

"We wouldn't have to do any interviews or anything would we?"

"I'd prefer not to. Chad can release a statement to the entertainment networks that we married in January, and we're expecting our first child in September. I'll probably have to field some calls, but other than that, it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Okay, if you think that will help then tell Chad to go ahead," Jensen agreed.

"I'll call him in a little later since I'm sure he's still sleeping. Had you planned to do anything today?"

"No, not really. I figured I'd be here when you got home from your trip so we could spend some time together," Jensen said, blushing.

"Well, we can still do that. Have you decided on what you want to do in the baby's room?"

"Yeah, I think I've got a plan. I can show you if you'd like."

"I'd like that a lot," Jared answered enthusiastically.

Jensen led the way to the baby's room, getting more excited about the picture in his head as he went. The baby's furniture was a in an antique finish, and they'd already decided to lay several rugs down instead of covering up the wood with carpet.

"I really liked the idea of butterflies, but since we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, I thought we could do a seascape or beach background. The walls around most of the room would be a really pale sea foam color, except where the mural goes, and I'll slowly work the colors together to blend them where they'll flow in a type of harmony."

"Is it the same color we used in the bathroom?" Jared asked, not quite sure what shade Jensen was talking about.

"No, it's a softer color. Something that's soothing, not so jarring. I know lots of people say that the room should stimulate the baby, but I think that should be the playroom. The bedroom should be peaceful and somewhere everyone can come to relax when they're trying to put the baby to sleep." Jensen finished with a small shrug.

"Makes sense to me. Do you have any color samples?"

"No, I thought maybe we could run out and get the paint today for the room. The mural paint I'm going to have to go to the shop I use and see what I need to do it right."

"Okay, let me get my luggage unpacked, call Chad, then we can get rolling."

"Sounds like a plan," Jensen agreed. "I'm going to write down the supplies I know I need right now. That way, I have something to start with.

***************************************************

Two hours later, they were in the truck headed to town. Jared had called Chad and given him the go ahead to issue a press release and Jensen had called Steve and smoothed things over with his friend. Steve still wanted to know what exactly had happened and Jensen had promised to fill him in later.

They spent the day shopping for the baby's room, mostly the paint and accessories to do the job, but Jensen had discovered a small baby boutique hidden away between a bookstore and a family owned pet store. Jensen, of course, had to stop in the bookstore and Jared had actually decided to check out the pet shop. They met in the baby shop and left with several bags of purchases ranging from clothes to toys and baby paraphernalia.

By the time they finished up for the day, the back of the truck was packed full and Jensen was dead on his feet. Chad had called and said the statement should be on the late night edition of the entertainment show and that he'd included a couple of the pictures that had been taken at the wedding.

Jensen wanted to stay up and see the show, but by nine he was nodding off on the couch and Jared shuffled him upstairs to bed. Jared stayed up long enough to clean up their supper dishes, lock up, and headed to bed himself.

**************************************************

Joshua had been beyond ecstatic when the news that Jared had been pictured with his lead actress. Things couldn't have been going better if he had planned them himself, which is why he'd been watching the entertainment news obsessively since the story broke hoping for more information. He was unprepared for the headliner. 

 

Tonight's lead story is big news!

According to a press release from Jared Padalecki's office, the picture we showed you yesterday has an entirely different spin to it. Ms. Alba was out with the crew for a night on the town when they found themselves in less than hospitable circumstances. Mr. Padalecki escorted the actress back to her hotel along with several members of the crew. We've also been informed that Mr. Padalecki has managed to keep a rather large secret from us. He was married on January 10th to Jensen Ackles, who is pretty well known in the art world for his realistic portrayal of landscapes. If that wasn't a big enough secret for you ladies and gentlemen, they're expecting their first child in late September. We have confirmation of the circumstances in Argentina from several bystanders and a source at the clerk of courts confirms the couple did marry in January. We are still awaiting independant confirmation of the pregnancy.

 

The glass shattered, raining liquor and shards of glass over tables and carpet where it hit the wall. The TV didn't fare much better as it was shoved off its stand, crashing to the floor, while tables were overturned and lamps destroyed. Joshua was livid. Not only had the bastard taken his husband, but he'd gotten him pregnant as well. The thought of some spawn swelling Jensen's stomach that wasn't his made him want to punish someone, preferably Jensen. He would stop this, one way or the other and he'd get his husband back, back where he belonged, begging to do whatever Joshua wanted of him.

He could picture Jensen kneeling between his legs, plump lips stretched around his cock, split and swollen from his knuckles meeting out punishment, tears leaking out of those big green eyes. Joshua slipped his hand under the waistband of his pants, gripping his hard cock, the images playing out before his closed eyes bringing him to orgasm with just a few quick strokes. He collapsed back onto the chair as the adrenaline and orgasm slowly washed through his veins, taking the edge off his anger and giving him a chance to think. Jensen would be his again but first he had to take care of Jared Padalecki. Smiling at all the different ways he could do it, he thrilled at the pleasure of how damaged Jensen would be when he again lost the man he loved.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had spent the last two weeks working on the baby's room and Jared spent most of that watching in amazement as his husband turned a plain room into something magical. He'd helped when it required getting on a ladder and Jensen was still a little put out that Jared hadn't allowed him to get on it himself or even pick up the paint cans to pour them into the trays. When he realized that Jared wasn't going to budge, he'd finally given up fussing every time it happened in favor of mumbling under his breath and shooting scowls that Jared cheerfully ignored.

Jared had used the first couple of days fielding calls from reporters in between keeping an eye on Jensen and his sneaky attempts to do things he wasn't allowed to. He'd been pleased with Chad's press release and even happier with the following reports until the excitement had died down, as he knew it would, leaving them to peace and quiet again.

He should have known things had been too quiet, especially on the Joshua front. Jensen had been adamant that Joshua wouldn't give up, that in fact, the press release might infuriate him enough to retaliate, even as Jared could see the hope in his husband's eyes that maybe he would be wrong this time. Working on the baby's room had kept him busy most of the time, but every now and then, Jared had caught the tension in Jensen's shoulders when he stopped long enough to brood on it.

Jared saw the smoke rising into the air miles before he was close enough to realize it was coming from his office. When he was closer, he could see the flashing light of the fire trucks. There were police cars and an ambulance as well, but what had his heart stopping completely was the purple corvette that was parked beside his SUV he'd left at the office the night before. He was out of the truck and barreling towards the office, with no thought to closing the door or turning off the engine.

The building was fully engulfed, fire licking along the roof and smoke pouring out of the broken windows, firemen aiming water hoses at the towering flames. None of that stopped Jared's intention of going in and finding his friend.

"Sir, SIR!"

Jared ignored the shouts, but was stopped by a hand on his arm holding him back long enough for its owner to get in front of him, stopping his forward progress.

"Sir, you can't go in there! You shouldn't even be across the line," a young man in full fire gear stated, raising his voice to be heard over the crackling of the fire and the chaos surrounding them.

"Chad's in there!" Jared shouted, trying to push past the kid blocking his way.

The young man refused to be budged, a feat in itself when Jared wasn't worked up.

"There's a guy over at the ambulance getting oxygen. Why don't you see if that's your friend? There's no way you're getting inside, the roof’s getting ready to go."

Jared opened his mouth to argue just as a shout proceeded the deafening sound of the roof meeting the foundation. The air went out of his lungs, and he couldn't seem to stop the spinning in his head. The fireman escorted him in the direction of the ambulance, until someone shouted for another line. Jared made his way past the flashing lights and fire hoses, barely noticing the people milling around. He'd just taken out his phone to call Jensen when he was almost knocked to the ground.

"OH MY GOD! I thought you were dead. I tried to get in there, but I couldn't even get past my desk the smoke was too thick." The constant stream of words suddenly stopped and Jared watched in bemusement as Chad passed out.

Jared caught him before he cracked his head on the pavement, the EMT rushing forward to take his friend's body and place it on the stretcher.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jared asked the closest paramedic, worried that the man was unconscious but stealing some relief that Chad hadn't been in the building.

"Yeah, he's got some smoke inhalation and some superficial burns on his hands and arms where he tried to get to the back of the building," the young woman answered, placing the oxygen mask back over Chad's face.

"So why's he unconscious then?" Jared asked, concern for his friend eating at him.

"Adrenaline crash is my guess. He was really worked up about his boss being in the building, but since he yelled at you, I'm assuming that would make you the boss," the male paramedic answered, taping the IV he'd been putting in Chad's hand.

"Yeah, that's me. I wonder why he thought I was in the building....." Jared trailed off, remembering that his SUV had been in the parking lot.

"I'm going to go let the guys know that there shouldn't have been anyone in there since you're obviously not," the young woman said, smiling as she patted him on the back as she left to speak to the fire chief.

"It'll make them feel a lot better knowing they didn't loose anyone," the EMT explained.

Jared took a second to read his nametag before shifting his focus back to Chad's still form. "Will he wake up soon?"

Eli turned to look at some of his print outs. "It probably won't be too long. If he's not up in the next fifteen, you'll have to see him at the hospital."

"I thought you said he was okay," Jared accused.

"He is overall, but smoke inhalation isn't something to play around with, and they're more than likely going to want to keep him overnight for observation just to be on the safe side."

Jared relaxed a little only to jump when his phone started to vibrate against his leg.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had been on the patio watching the flowers again. He'd gotten into the habit of sitting outside each morning sketching the gardens. Sometimes, if he were lucky, there were squirrels playing, and a few days ago, there had even been a bunny sitting in the petunias. Jensen was fascinated with the changes each day brought to the outside world. He'd seen new shoots bloom into a colorful array of flowers, and trees fill out with new growth as the days grew warmer.

Martino would show up every other day to weed, prune and all around baby the gardens and grounds. He would take time out to answer questions Jensen had, thrilled to discuss the livelihoods he loved so much. It wasn't uncommon for them to sit and talk about color and texture until one of their phones rang, Martino in the context of his beloved gardening and Jensen his art.

Jensen was sitting with his sketch pad as usual when Martino blocked his view of the sparrows he'd been drawing.

"Hey, the mailman left a package up by the gate. He must not have been able to fit it in the box," Martino said, setting the package on the table.

"I haven't ordered anything," Jensen mused. "Is it addressed to me?" He asked, pulling it towards him.

"I didn't even look to be honest. I'm going to go grab some gear out of the truck, and then I'm going to start on the roses if you want to see how I keep them in shape without getting ate up by the thorns."

"Yeah, I'll be there in just a minute. I'm going to see what this is real quick. Do you want any coffee?"

"Nah, I've got to be on the other side of town at one today so I can't partake of the holy elixer of life," he joked, knowing of Jensen's pain at not being able to have his lifeblood.

"You know it's not nice to pick on the pregnant guy, right?"

"Oh, what're you going to do, smack me with your sketch pad?" Martino teased, heading for the truck.

"No, I'm going to make sure your wife knows how mean you are to me, and then you're going to be in trouble," Jensen yelled as Martino rounded the corner.

Martino's wife was a petite little thing who most people underestimated, but the woman was Italian, and you just didn't mess with the Italian women. Jensen had almost choked on his hot chocolate the first time the landscaper had brought her by. She'd railroaded all of them into the kitchen and taken over, fussing over Jensen as if he was a favored brother, telling them she'd make sure she visited more often since they didn't seem to be eating enough. If Jensen had been straight, he'd have tried to steal Viviana just for her cooking alone, got a kiss on the forehead when he said as much, and two glares aimed in his direction from the other two men in the house to which he just stuck out his tongue and went back to eating.

Jensen looked at the return address, still trying to remember if he'd ordered something and forgotten, but the address wasn't one he was familiar with. He peeled the tape away, opening the lid to reveal the world's most hated packing material. Growling, he put his sketchpad on the lid to hold it shut while he went to the kitchen to find a bag to put the millions of peanuts in. The box wasn't that large, really, but there just didn't seem to be an end to the stupid clinging white Styrofoam from hell.

He started scooping out handfuls of peanuts, trying to be careful since he still had no idea what was inside. Close to the bottom, his hand made contact with something solid. Jensen carefully pulled the object out, frowning at the miniature replica of a building. The closer he looked the more he felt it was familiar, but he just couldn't place where he knew it from. He sat gently on the table, noticing the bright blue string dangling from the side. He turned the building until he could see the little sign that directed him to pull.

Still bemused, he double checked the label verifying that it was indeed sent to him before carefully pulling the string. Jensen sat watching the little building for a few seconds, not sure exactly what was supposed to happen. Several more seconds passed and he started to notice smoke. Alarmed, he looked around for something to cover the replica up with, but before he managed to locate anything, the wooden structure burst into flames. Jensen almost fell trying to back away from the table, but a strong grip steadied him, followed quickly by the burning object being knocked to the stone patio.

"Are you okay?" Martino asked, looking over Jensen to make sure there were no injuries.

"Yeah, I'm all right," Jensen assured shakily.

"What the hell was that about?" He asked, gesturing to the fire.

Jensen sat down slowly, eyes still locked on the burning replica. "I'm not sure," he offered faintly.

His heart stopped in his chest when he was finally able to remember why the little building looked familiar. Jensen quickly pulled his wallet out and searched for the card Detective Lloyd had given them at the same time he was dialing Jared's number. He held his breath as it started to ring, handing Martino the card and asking him to call the detective and explain what happened.

Jensen almost passed out from relief when Jared answered on the third ring, an eternity he never wanted to relive.

"Jensen?"

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked in a rush.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How did you know?" Jared asked, confused.

"What do you mean how did I know? What's going on?" Jensen started to panic as the sounds of shouting and sirens filtered through the speaker.

"There was a fire here at the office. I'm fine, I swear," Jared rushed to assure his husband. "Chad got a little smoke so they're going to take him to get checked out, but they said he's going to be fine."

"Oh, dear God!" Jensen breathed, slumping in his chair.

"Jensen, are you okay?" Martino asked worriedly, catching Jensen's movements out of the corner of his eye.

Jensen placed his hand over the receiver. "I'm fine. There was a fire at Jared's office," he explained. "Did you get hold of the detective?"

"Yeah, he said he'd be here in about thirty minutes," Martino answered, still watching Jensen carefully.

"Jensen!"

Jensen put the phone back to his ear. "Yeah, I'm here. Where are they going to take Chad?"

"I'm not sure yet. Why are you calling the detective and who's there with you?"

"Martino's here. Don't worry, I'm not by myself."

"Okay," Jared relaxed minutely. "Why are you calling the detective?" He asked again.

"There was a package at the gate this morning. Martino brought it up when he came up. I'm pretty sure it's Joshua's doing." Jensen tried to keep his voice steady so Jared wouldn't become even more alarmed.

"What was in it?" His dread creeping across the line that connected them.

"Hey, we can talk about it when I get to the hospital." Jensen tried to redirect Jared's focus.

"No, I'm coming home, Chad will understand." Jared answered. "Now what was in it and stop trying to distract me."

Jensen sighed, "Jared, there's nothing you can do here. Martino said he's not leaving until the detective gets here, and I'm sure Detective Lloyd is going to want to talk to you so I can probably get a ride to the hospital. Chad doesn't need to wake up alone after everything that's happened. It's not like his parents can get here all that quick living 2000 miles away."

"Fine, I'll go to the hospital, but if you can't get a ride then get Martino to bring you. I don't want you by yourself." Jared sighed, still torn between seeing to his friend and being with his husband.

"I promise I won't be by myself." Jensen swore.

"Okay, now tell me what was in the box."

"It was a little model building made out of wood, and when I pulled the string it caught on fire," Jensen explained, cutting down on the detail and hoping his matter of fact recitation would keep Jared from worrying more.

"I'm coming home," Jared stated.

"No, you're not. You're going to go with Chad to the hospital. I'm fine, Martino is here, the fire's almost out and Detective Lloyd is on the way. Which hospital are they taking him to?" Jensen asked, not giving Jared time to argue.

"I'm not sure, hold on."

Jensen could hear the muffled conversation as he waited patiently for Jared to come back on the line. His eyes strayed to the smoldering remains, shuddering at what it meant.

"They're taking him to Lakewood. I still feel like I should come home," Jared reasserted.

"No, you don't. Are you going to ride with him or are you going to drive?"

"Drive. If you're determined to come here then I want to be able to get a hotel close by. I'm not having you up all night or sleeping in some chair."

"You know it's not going to hurt me to lose one night’s sleep and the chairs can't be any more uncomfortable than that torture device you call a recliner."

"Hey, it's not my fault the baby has shifted your center of gravity, and you can't get out of it," Jared shot back, complying with Jensen's unspoken request to lighten the mood.

"It's got nothing to do with the baby if the chair tried to eat me," Jensen huffed. "I'll see you in a little while okay?"

"Yeah, Call me before you leave so I know when to expect you, and I can let you know where we'll be."

"Jared, I'll be fine," Jensen promised.

"All right, I get it," Jared sighed, still not happy about having to decide. "I'll go with Chad but you better be here soon. I love you Jensen."

Jensen didn't have time to process what Jared had just said, much less respond. Jared had already disconnected and Martino was opening the gate for the detective.

Detective Lloyd sent Jensen in to get ready to go to the hospital, while he took Martino's statement and collected the box and its contents, placing them in paper bags and putting them in the trunk.

The ride across town was quiet except the occasional radio chatter and Jensen's cell phone ringing constantly. The news of the fire at Jared's office was being covered on multiple networks and everyone they knew had been calling Jensen because they couldn't get through to Jared. Jensen explained he was at the hospital with Chad, and that he'd turned his phone off due to hospital policy. Jared had waited until Jensen called him telling him he was on the way there to turn his phone off, making sure Jensen knew why his phone was going to be off so he wouldn't worry.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared wasn't sorry he'd told Jensen he loved him. He hadn't wanted him to feel pressured either so he'd disconnected before Jensen had time to respond. He was aware his husband still wasn't ready to take that step but he couldn't put it off any longer, not after today. Jared split his time between watching the ER door and watching the clock, getting more and more antsy as the time dragged on. He wasn't sure which was going to drive him insane first, waiting for news about Chad or waiting for Jensen to be in front of him so he could reassure himself that his husband was indeed fine.

He'd called his parents on the way to the hospital, knowing that the fire would make the news. Jared called Chad's parents next, making sure they knew he was fine, and that he'd call them himself when he was finished at the emergency room. He kept the fact that Chad had to regain consciousness first to himself, just barely talking them in to staying at home until Chad called and not hopping on the first plane. Chad's dad hadn't been well recently, and he knew his friend worried.

Jared had been so lost in thought he'd stopped watching both places and was surprised when he heard his name called. He couldn't stop himself from crossing the waiting room and wrapping his arms around his husband, placing a kiss on the top of his head. Jared could smell smoke, but he wasn't sure that wasn't coming from his own clothes rather than Jensen’s. He relaxed as Jensen's arms snuck around his waist and pulled him in just a little tighter, a small sigh escaping into his chest.

Detective Lloyd waited until they both seemed satisfied that the other was fine before leading them into a small conference room a nurse had been kind enough to offer him. The nurse also told them she'd send the doctor in as soon as he finished with the patient, since Chad's parents had given them authorization to release their son’s condition in the case that he wasn't able to give his permission.

The detective had managed to get them bottles of water and a collection of snacks from the machine, reminding them both to call him Riley when they kept using his title to address him. Jared wasn't in the mood to eat but grabbed a bag of chips to give him something to do with his hands. Jensen, on the other hand, had been chewing his fingernails for the last hour, even after Jared had moved them away from his mouth at least a dozen times.

Riley took a seat, setting a recorder on the desk,

"I wanted to tape your statement this time since it's going to be two different events, and I don't want the details to get confused. My note taking can be hard to read sometimes," he explained, smiling.

"Not a problem," Jared assured after Jensen nodded his okay.

"Jared, why don't you start with what happened at your office."

Jared took a moment to collect his thoughts and cracked open one of the bottles of water his hand, shaking as he brought it to his mouth. Jensen reached over and took his other hand in his, giving it a light squeeze.

"It's normal," Riley explained when Jensen looked over at him worried. "When the adrenaline finally dissipates and everything starts sinking in, it's the shock of the events and what did or could have happened hitting you all at once. I turned the heat up a little, and I can get some blankets if you want," he offered.

"No, I'm all right."

"Are you sure?" Jensen asked, not releasing the hand he was gripping.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jared answered, looking into Jensen's worried face. He squeezed the hand he held in his and turned back to face the detective.

Detective Lloyd nodded and switched on the recorder. He stated the date, time and whom the interview was with and then asked Jared to start his day on the drive to his office.

"The drive was normal, same as always really until I was a few miles away from the office. There was a lot of smoke in the distance, but I didn't think too much about it until I turned off and could smell it. Then, there were all the fire trucks, police cars, and then I saw Chad's corvette. I didn't even see the office burning until I saw Chad's car. Then, I panicked, tried to go in. A fireman stopped me, told me there was no way I could get in there, that the roof was getting ready to go. He said there was a guy over in the ambulance, and that I needed to see if it was who I was looking for. "

Jared paused and took a few sips of water, trying to get the lump in his throat to go down as he remembered the fear he'd felt that his friend was in the burning building. Jensen leaned into his side, offering silent support as he regained his composure.

"I'm not sure exactly what happened but the roof collapsed and then Chad was hurling himself in my direction, babbling all kinds of things, and then he just passed out. I'm not even sure what happened at the office since I was trying to find out if Chad was all right and then Jensen called." Jared finished his recitation of events.

"Well, I'm still waiting for the official report, but they've gotten the fire under control, and should have it out in the next hour or so. The investigator said it depends how long it takes to cool down when they'll be to get in there and look around for the cause. However, he felt safe in saying that there seemed to be some form of accelerant for it to burn as hot as it did," Riley informed them.

"Okay. Is there anything we need to do, or are we just waiting until the investigation is done?" Jared asked.

"Let’s hear what happened at your house first, and then we'll see what steps we need to take. Jensen you can start whenever you're ready," Riley prompted, turning the recorder back on.

"I was outside sketching like I usually do when the weather is nice. Martino came by to do some weeding and cleaning up in the flower beds to get ready for planting."

"Who’s Martino?"

"He's our landscaper. He's been taking care of the grounds, since I moved there," Jared explained.

"So he's someone you trust?" Riley asked.

"Yes, I wouldn't let him near Jensen if I didn't," Jared stated firmly.

"Martino is a nice guy, Detective. He wouldn't do anything to hurt either one of us," Jensen agreed.

"I'll still have to check, but after taking his statement, I tend to believe you. So what happened when Martino came over?"

"He brought a box in with him, said it was up at the mailbox. He thought the mailman had left it because it was too big to fit in the box. I couldn't remember ordering anything but my memories not been the best lately. The label was addressed to me, so I opened it thinking it might have been some of my painting supplies. There was a little replica of a building inside, and I knew it looked familiar but I just couldn't place it. When I sat it down on the table, there was a little string attached with directions to pull it." Jensen swallowed thickly.

"When you pulled it what happened?" Riley asked gently.

"Nothing for a few seconds, then smoke started coming out of the windows, and then it caught on fire. I was so shocked, I tried to shove backwards but the chair leg got caught on the stones."

"Did you fall?" Jared reached out to place his hand on Jensen's stomach, concern for his husband and unborn child overriding everything else he'd been feeling.

"No, Martino caught me before I could. He knocked the thing off the table, but I'd remembered why I should recognize it and all I could think about was making sure you were okay." Jensen finished his statement, speaking to Jared not the detective.

Jared smiled and leaned forward to leave a kiss on Jensen's forehead before he turned back to Riley. "So what do we do now?"

"I take it you're assuming Joshua had something to do with these events?"

"Yes! You don't?" Jared growled.

"No, I'm not saying that at all, but I don't want to narrow the scope of the investigation right to start with and miss something vital, and you pay for it," Riley stated calmly.

"He's right, Jared. Let him check everything just to be sure," Jensen soothed. "I have a feeling it will all lead back to Joshua though," he acknowledged.

"What would make him pick this particular moment to strike and not some other time?"

"We just released a statement in answer to a tabloid report stating that we were married and expecting our first child," Jared answered before Jensen could form a response.

"Joshua was unaware of your pregnancy but knew you were married?" Riley asked for clarification.

"To our knowledge, he didn't know about the baby. We hadn't let anyone but our friends and family know and the press hadn't caught wind of it yet, though it wouldn't have been much longer." Jared tilted his head in the direction of Jensen's growing midsection.

"Hey! It's not nice to point out the weight gain," Jensen pouted.

"I wasn't. I was just saying that the baby was making his presence known whether we liked it or not."

Riley smiled at the interaction between the two men. He was pleased that the tension had lessened some, even if the matter was still serious business. The nurse came in requesting that Jared accompany her to see Chad since the patient wouldn't take their word that Jared was indeed all right.

"Ill stay here with Jensen if you'd like. I've only got a few more questions, and when you come back, you'll be free to go. I would ask that you both be careful until we determine exactly what happened. I'll speak to Mr. Murray once you've had a chance to assure him you're still alive and kicking," Riley told them.

Jensen put a hand out, stopping Jared from leaving. "If you can grab his clothes, we can get him some new ones to come home in."

"Why do you need his clothes?"

"I've got no idea what size he wears. Do you?" Jensen asked.

Jared thought about it for a minute. He could probably wing it on the shirt and pants but had no clue on the shoes. "Nope, I'll see what I can do."

****************************************************************

When Jared walked into the room, the lights were turned down so only a soft glow emanated from around Chad's bed, but he must have been waiting for someone to come in because he wasn't asleep.

As soon as he caught sight of Jared, he sat straight up and was trying to swing his legs out of bed, stopped only by Jared getting there first and firmly pushing them back under the covers.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked gruffly.

"They said you were here, that you were okay, but I saw your truck at the office, and I couldn't find you." Chad's voice was rough and barely above a whisper.

"Is that why you thought I was in there? Because I'd left the truck?"

Chad's answer was to nod his head and look around the room so Jared couldn't see the shimmer in his eyes.

Jared picked up the glass of water off the side table and waited for Chad to turn back towards him.

"Jensen picked me up last night on his way back into town. We went out to eat, and he was so tired by the time we finished, I just drove us home. I'm sorry I scared you, I'm glad you're going to be okay," Jared explained, waiting for Chad to finish drinking what he wanted before setting the cup aside.

"Don't do that shit again! You hear me man, I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Jensen....... Oh my God! Is Jensen okay?" Chad asked, trying to sit back up again.

"Jensen's fine. He had a scare, but I'll tell you about it later. The nurse said you're supposed to be resting, not stressing out." Jared quietly maneuvered his friend back into place and tucked the blankets around him. "I called your parents and I'm going to call them again after you get settled. I'll let them know you'll call them tomorrow when your throat has had some time to heal."

"Did you tell them not to come up here?" Chad rasped.

"Yes, I told them to stay at home, that you were fine, and after I saw you I'd give them a call. Your dad is fine so don't worry. I'll be here in the morning to pick you up. The nurse said they'd be releasing you first thing as long as you're doing okay."

"You don't have to do that, you should be with Jensen," Chad argued, his eyes getting heavy the longer they talked.

"Jensen is here with me. We're going to get a hotel room so just shut up, you're not going to win, and you shouldn't be talking anyway."

"I got to the office and saw the smoke and all I could think about was you had to be in there because your truck was there. I should have known better, you never beat me in." Chad grinned at the disgruntled look Jared gave him.

"You live like ten minutes away, of course you always beat me in doofus," Jared shot back affectionately.

"Yeah, you keep thinking that, but we all know the real reason," Chad mumbled sleepily.

"Get some rest," Jared answered, ignoring Chad's ribbing. "The detective will be in shortly to get your statement. I'm going to go call your parents and then find us a hotel room. I'll be back later tonight." Jared figured the last part went unheard since Chad had already lost his battle with sleep.

When Jared stepped out into the hall, Jensen and the detective were waiting for him.

"Are those his clothes?" Riley asked.

"Yeah," I was going to toss them once we got his size," Jared explained. "Why? Did you need them?"

"I'm going to book them as evidence just in case. I don't think they're going to give us anything, but it never hurts to be sure," Riley said, pulling on a pair of gloves.

"Let me see it and I'll read off the sizes to you, and then I'll go get Mr. Murray's statement."

"You may have to wait a little while. He just fell asleep," Jared told him, handing the detective the bag.

Jensen waited until Riley called out sizes, writing them down on the corner of his small sketchbook that traveled everywhere with him, to issue an offer of lunch since he was sure no one had eaten since this entire mess had started.

They stopped by the hospital cafeteria, loading up their trays and finding a quiet corner to sit in. Riley walked them through what he'd be looking for and the steps the investigation would take until they had some clue what they were up against. After that there was no telling how things would play out but the detective promised he'd keep them informed.

Jared placed his call to Chad's parents and Jensen called Steve, positive that news coverage would already have hit the wire. He was right, and once Chris finished yelling at him, since he'd been the one to get to the phone first, he settled down and listened to what had happened. When his friend had assured himself that everyone was indeed okay, he let Steve have to phone, leaving Jensen to explain everything again. Steve promised he'd call Sophia and let her know what was happening before he hung up.

They found a small shopping center and purchased replacement clothes for Chad, with Jared finding the most gaudy pair of boxers he could. Jensen finally found a pair of shoes that he thought Chad would like, Jared moaning and groaning about how long it was taking, which Jensen chose to ignore and decided to take even longer looking for socks. They purchased an overnight bag and items for themselves, so they'd have something to change into the next day.

Jared found a nice hotel just a few miles from the hospital, and they headed to their room as soon as they were checked in. On the trip over, they were forced to discuss the sleeping arrangements because they couldn't very well ask for two beds without it somehow leaking that they were having marital problems. Jensen honestly couldn't have cared less. By the time he was in their room, he was so tired he stripped out of his street clothes and grabbed the oversized shirt and sweat pants before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jared was left blinking at the amount of skin he'd just been given a glimpse of before shaking himself out the stupor it had put him in and changing into more comfortable clothes himself. When Jensen finally emerged from the bathroom, he was barely keeping his eyes open. Jared watched with amusement as he shuffled his way to the bed, pulling back the covers and dropping onto the soft mattress with a moan. Jared crawled onto the other side, careful to give Jensen space, and turned to face the window.

Jensen waited until Jared was settled and then worked on making his little nest to sleep in. He liked to burrow under the covers and get all warm and comfortable before he relaxed enough to go to sleep. He was just starting to drift off when a sharp jab to his side had him gasping and groping to find the abused area.

"What's wrong?" Jared asked, turning over quickly at Jensen's gasp, worried that the day had done damage to Jensen or the baby after all.

"No..thing," Jensen stuttered, still trying to decide if he'd imagined the alien sensation.

"It didn't sound like nothing to me. Are you sure you're okay?" Jared asked, moving closer so he could peer over Jensen's shoulder.

"No, I'm.... OH!" Jensen exclaimed, reaching for a spot near the front of his stomach.

"Jensen what is it!" Jared asked, fear stealing his breath. "Do I need to call the doctor?" He asked moving to get out of the bed.

"No!" Jensen stalled his movements by reaching out and grabbing his hand, drawing him even closer.

Jared followed, not sure what was going on but willing to give Jensen the time to explain. He was even more shocked when Jensen pulled him until he was pressed along his husband’s back. Jensen kept pulling until Jared's arm was under the covers and his hand was settled about midway over the warm skin of Jensen's stomach.

"What is it?" Jared asked, still not sure what was going on.

"Shhh..." Jensen whispered, moving Jared's hand a little higher and to the side.

Jared was about to ask what was going on again, but a strong short movement under his hand had his brain grinding to a halt.

"Jared?" Jensen asked quietly.

"Is that the baby?" Jared finally managed to form a coherent thought and vocalize it.

"Yeah," Jensen whispered. "It's the first time she's moved where I could feel her on the outside."

Jared leaned his head on Jensen's shoulder, nodding his head in understanding. He remembered Jensen telling the doctor he thought he kept feeling little flutters at one of their last visits.

"I can't believe we can actually feel him," Jared said in awe.

Jensen smiled at Jared's use of, he in referring to the baby. "I know. It's like feeling her makes it more real somehow."

Jared kissed Jensen's cheek before he settled back on the pillow. He left his hand cradling their child, feeling the small nudges and little bumps periodically. He'd started smoothing his hand over the swell of Jensen's stomach, soothing the baby underneath without even realizing it.

Jensen couldn't help the wave of contentment that washed over him. It had been a long time since he'd had someone just hold him, and he wasn't afraid to admit he liked it. The last thing he remembered before giving into the exhaustion was the feeling of Jared's hand caressing his stomach and the warmth and safety that small gesture gave him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written more than two years ago, but with the recent events in Colorado in mind I wanted to warn people there is a shooting in this chapter. This is in no way anything like what occured there, but I felt the need to warn folks just in case they needed it. There are no deaths involved.
> 
> Also this chapter is definitely NC17.

Chad was released the next afternoon with strict instructions he was to rest for 72 hours. While he had no permanent damage, his throat was still sore and the doctor had warned that any strenuous activity would put strain on his recovering lungs. Chad quickly discovered hacking up said lungs was no fun when he'd ignored Jensen’s and Jared's attempts to get him to stop cleaning his living room.

"I told you to sit your ass down, didn't I?" Jared growled when Chad's coughing had finally eased.

Jensen stood quietly in front of Chad, waiting for their friend to catch his breath. When Chad finally looked up, Jensen handed him the glass of water he'd gone and gotten when the coughing had started.

"You know, we really don't care if you can eat off the floor right?" Jensen asked, amused at the flush it brought to their friend's cheeks.

"Yeah, but it's the first time you've come over, and it's a mess," Chad complained.

Jensen took a minute to look around. He didn't see any real mess. Obviously, Chad had been working on paperwork since it was scattered on the low table in front of the couch, but other than that the only thing out of place was a bottle of water left sitting on the side table.

"If you think this is a mess, you're never allowed to go in my studio. You'd think I was a teenager with an allergy to cleanliness."

"Oh good grief!" Jared exclaimed.

"Your house is not a mess," he paused, "and your studio isn't either. The paint tubes all over the table don’t count," he said, stalling Jensen's rebuttal. "The paper on the floor protects it when you get particularly aggressive slinging of the paint brush," Jared finished, shaking his head in exasperation.

Jensen and Chad stared at him a little shocked, until Chad leaned over and whispered in Jensen's ear. "He's a little grumpy."

"He didn't have his normal five cups of coffee yet," Jensen whispered back.

"You do know I can hear you both right?" Jared glowered at him.

They both swung back around to face him with their best wide eyed look of innocence.

Jared rolled his eyes, "Give it up both of you, it's not going to work." He said, trying to stop his lips from twitching up into a grin.

Chad shrugged and leaned into the couch cushions, Jensen just smiled as he grabbed the cup and took it back to the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway when he heard Jared ask Chad the question he'd been wanting to ask.

"Why in the world is your house being clean so important. I've been here before and it's always tidy, which by the way just freaks me out because I so remember what your dorm room looked like. Why was it so important when you've just gotten out of the hospital and the doctor told you to take it easy?" Jared's confusion was evident.

Jensen watched as Chad ducked his head, rubbing at the back of his neck, he could see the blush crawling up Chad's neck and into his cheeks from where he was standing.

"You know that was my roommate not me," Chad responded disgruntled, stalling for time.

"Chad."

"I wanted to get the chance to baby sit, and I didn't think you'd let me if the house was a mess."

Jared was so shocked by that answer, he couldn't do anything but stare at his friend with his mouth hanging open.

"Jared close your mouth, it's not an attractive look for you, and Chad, we'd be more than happy for you to baby sit once she's been born," Jensen announced, walking back into the living room.

Jared gave him a relieved smile for the rescue and the trust he'd just offered his best friend.

Chad beamed at them pleased before a look of excitement crossed his face. "You said she. Did you find out it was a girl?"

"No, he's not cooperating with us," Jared scowled. "He's definitely Jensen's kid."

"Hey!" Jensen exclaimed.

"What do you mean the baby's not cooperating?" Chad asked confused.

"The first sonogram the baby was too young, but the second one she kept her legs crossed the entire time and this last one she kept her back to us and refused to budge. The tech couldn't get a clean enough shot, even though she's pretty sure of the baby's sex we didn't want to know unless she was positive." Jensen explained.

"Yeah, and if it is a girl, she better keep her legs crossed." Jared muttered under his breath, yelping when Jensen smacked him in the back of the head.

"Did they take pictures? I read they can do that." Chad questioned hesitantly.

"Yep, we have a few, " Jared told him. "I'll bring them over the next time we get together. We were waiting until we could get them copied and blown up some so the baby was easier to see."

He'd almost said he'd bring them to the office, but he remembered just in time. Obviously, Chad still knew what he'd been about to say, because the next thing out of his mouth cemented the gravity of the last couple of days.

"What are we going to do about the office, and the movie?"

"We're not going to do anything right now. You're going to rest like the doctor ordered," Jared stated resolutely. "I'll have to wait until the investigation is over before we can do anything about the office anyway. I've got a meeting with the insurance company tomorrow for some basic information, as for the movie it'll go on as scheduled. We'll have to work out of my house when we need to be in the same place if that's all right?" Jared asked Chad, cutting his eyes to the side to look at Jensen.

Luckily his husband, while listening, was also taking in the eclectic taste that Chad possessed and didn't notice, but Chad understood immediately Jared's unwillingness to leave his husband alone now.

"No problem, I can get most of our files in place by Monday. Eric has a copy of just about everything, and we have backup servers for emergencies, so we shouldn't have too many holes," Chad assured.

Jensen cut in before Jared could, "You don't need to be talking any more than you have to for the next few days. Your voice is even worse now than it was yesterday and don't think I haven't seen you wincing when you swallow," Jensen fussed.

Chad's mouth dropped open in surprise. He looked over at Jared for help but all he received was a huge grin and shrugged shoulders. His eyes darted back to where Jensen was waiting for his surrender.

"Okay," he mumbled.

"Jared, why don't you make sure he makes it up the stairs, and I'll bring up some soup and water before we let you get some sleep."

Jared wasn't about to argue. He waited for Chad to stand up and make his way to his bedroom before following behind. It didn't take long for Chad to be nodding off over his finished bowl of soup. Jared woke him up long enough to take his dishes and show him where they were leaving his pills. Jensen made him promise to call when he woke up, and then they left him to sleep.

"When are you going by the office?" Jensen asked quietly.

"I thought I'd go by tomorrow."

"Why not today? We're not that far from there."

Jared glanced over at his husband. He wanted to see how bad the damage was, even though he was sure it was going to be a total write off. He just didn't want Jensen to see the results of Joshua's handiwork because he didn't want this to be one more way that Jensen was hurt. Jared knew if he tried to keep him away it would just be a matter of time before Jensen went there on his own and Jared never wanted him to have to face anything painful alone again.

"We can, I guess," he finally answered.

"If you don't want to, it’s fine, I just thought it'd be better not to do it alone." Jensen offered, echoing Jared's thoughts, even if they were in the reverse.

"No. it's fine. I just don't want you to get upset, it's not good for you or the baby," Jared explained.

"Jared," Jensen reached over and placed a hand on the arm closest to him. "I'm not likely to get more upset than I was when I thought something had happened to you. I know it's not going to be easy and I'm not looking forward to seeing what he's done, but I need to know. Sometimes, I have nightmares and the not knowing is worse because my mind can make up terrible, awful things from past experience." Jensen said softly.

Jared dropped his hand off the steering wheel, letting Jensen’s fingers slide down his arm until he could grip it with his own. He entwined their hands bringing the back of Jensen's up to place a kiss on it.

"Okay, we'll get this done, and then we can relax for the rest of the night at home." Jared found himself agreeing.

He found himself hesitating again as he turned onto the road leading to the office and could smell wood, and insulation. There was a metallic tang in the air that clung to the back of his throat, and he heard a small gasp escape Jensen as the burned out husk of the office came into view. Jared squeezed his hand, offering silent support, refusing to release the connection even to put the vehicle in park. He reluctantly relinquished his grip when they had to exit the vehicle, rounding the car quickly to reestablish it in the form of an arm around Jensen's waist.

Jensen took in the scorched wood, metal twisted and tortured. The ground was covered with ash and littered with shattered glass glinting in the afternoon sun. The yellow crime scene tape shuddered in the breeze, reminding anyone that thought otherwise that this had not been an accident. A shiver racked Jensen's body as his eyes traced the line of the roof to the gaping hole where it had collapsed in on itself too compromised to remain standing under the weight of fire and heat.

Jared pulled him closer, trying to shield his body from the light breeze and from the damage that Joshua was still able to inflict, his presence an all consuming weight not only on both their shoulder but their minds as well.

"I'm so sorry," Jensen whispered.

"It's not your fault."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure that you didn't have homicidal maniacs torching your office before me," Jensen replied, bitterness seeping into his voice.

Jared turned Jensen in his arms, taking his face in his hands so he would be assured of his husband's attention not only on his words but his expression.

"It is not your fault that Joshua is the way he is. Yes, he's focused on you, and there aren't words to describe how much I wish that weren't true, but if it wasn't you, it would be someone else. Would you think that it was that other person’s fault?"

"It's not the same," Jensen dropped his eyes.

"So it's Gabriel's fault his dad would beat him?" Jared asked, trying to get through his stubbornness.

"NO!" Jensen exclaimed, his head coming up and his body jerking back.

Jared reeled him back in and ducked his head to catch Jensen's eye. "Then if it's not Gabriel fault, how can you be blamed for something someone else does?"

"Gabriel didn't choose who his dad was, I chose who I dated," Jensen answered, refusing to pardon himself so easily.

"Jensen," Jared said softly, catching his husband’s chin and lifting until he could look him in the eye. "You didn't know he was a psychopath. It's not like he walked around with a neon sign on his chest, and even if you had done a background check on him, and I know you wouldn't, there wasn't anything for you to find because his parents always bought his way out of trouble."

Jensen still looked unconvinced and Jared knew it would take time and Joshua out of their lives for Jensen to even begin to believe what he was being told. Jared loosened his hold as Jensen turned back around to look at the smoldering ruins.

"Do you think he was trying to kill you, or just scare you?" Jensen asked the question that had been haunting him.

"I'm not sure. My SUV was here, and the lights were on because Chad had dropped off some work and then ran to the store to get some things for the kitchen. Detective Lloyd thinks he was aiming to hurt if not kill since it appeared I was here," Jared answered truthfully, not wanting to keep secrets from his husband, but wishing like hell he could.

They stood quietly surveying the damage for a few more minutes before Jared pulled Jensen back to the car and tucked him safely away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The days slipped by and before they knew it, June was gone and Jensen was in his sixth month. The doctor was keeping an eye on Jensen's blood pressure and the baby was still refusing to give them a clue what it was going to be, but there had been no other contact from Joshua.

Jared couldn't decide if that was good news or not. If Joshua was causing trouble then they at least knew where he was to some extent, but with him being so quiet they had no clue where or when he was going to strike. He'd made certain Jensen was never alone, not even when he went to the center. If Jared hadn't been able to take him then Chad and even Sophia had driven him, waiting until his classes were over and bringing him home. He could tell Jensen was chafing under the constant companionship, but he'd yet to say anything and Jared knew it was because he'd do whatever it took to keep their baby safe.

Chad crashed through the side door, juggling plans, bags of food and trying to talk on his phone at the same time. Jared rescued the plans and Jensen grabbed the food before Chad lost everything to the floor.

They'd both become quite adept at catching things before they could be dropped. Chad ended his call, dropping into a chair with a huge sigh.

"Holy shit!"

"Something you'd like to tell us?" Jared asked, as he pulled the orange juice out of the refrigerator.

"I'm going to strangle Tom 'I'm So Awesome' Cruise if he whines about one more thing."

Jensen hid his grin behind the bag he was opening. He'd almost choked to death the first time he'd heard Chad suggest to Jessica's manager that she do some self loving before she came to set so she wouldn't be such a bitch. He'd have paid good money to know what the manager would have said if Chad hadn't already hung up, mumbling under his breath about vibrators and ball gags.

"What's he want now?" Jensen couldn't help asking, ignoring Jared vigorously shaking his head in the background.

"What does he NOT want? First it was bottled water at just the right temperature, then Rome apples with no blemishes. The best one though has got to be the chair in his dressing room was too blue and it was messing with his concentration so it just had to be replaced. This one is just the run of the mill ‘I need more lube’, so I can fuck myself." Chad finished his rant.

"Seriously?" Jensen asked, gaping.

"No, not seriously," Chad said rolling his eyes, "but it might as well have been."

Jensen threw the wax paper that had been covering his bagel at Chad's head. "You're such an ass."

"You love my ass," Chad shot back, throwing the paper behind him and hitting Jared. "Sit down. I know you're back there making faces you big oaf."

"Why am I always getting abused?" Jared pouted, taking a seat beside Jensen.

"It's your fault I have to deal with idiots."

"He's got you there," Jensen snickered.

"I don't do the casting," Jared whined.

"The hell you don't. You have final say, don't you?" Chad griped.

"Well, yeah, but I can't say I don't want someone because Chad doesn't like them. I'd never make another movie since you don't like anybody."

"I like Jensen," Chad said, grinning.

"Oh no you don't. This is between you and him," Jensen pointed his finger at Chad and Jared. "My names Emmitt and I'm not in it!"

"Jeesh, what are you five?" Chad asked, diving for the last bagel as Jared reached for it.

Jensen just pushed his chair back to get out of the way of the food struggle. "Maybe, but I got the last bagel," he giggled as they both looked at the empty plate, they'd both been scrabbling for and then back up at Jensen who was holding the prized bagel between his teeth.

"That's so not fair." Chad grumped.

"Welcome to my world," Jared answered morosely.

Jensen fairly bounced out of the room and up the stairs to get ready for his day.

He pulled out the clothes he was planning to wear and laid them on the bed. Jensen stepped into the shower, washing his hair quickly so he could just stand with his hands against the wall and let the hot water beat down across his shoulders and lower back. He marveled at how different things were from just a few months ago, hell, from just a few weeks ago. Ever since they'd shared a bed after Jared's office had been burned, Jensen had longed to have that feeling again. He just didn't know how to ask for it.

They're had been plenty of snuggling on the couch and Jared had finally stopped asking if he could feel the baby after Jensen had told him a million times he didn't have to ask. They had both become so relaxed around each other that the only time Jensen was reminded that it wasn't the normal marriage was when they headed to bed. He'd had the best night’s sleep he'd had since Jeff's death when they had shared a bed, and he wanted that again.

Jensen shifted around in the shower so the jets would hit an especially sore spot and sighed in frustration. He let his mind drift back to the problem. Hell, if he was honest he wanted a lot more than just that.

He realized that he didn't feel the jolt of guilt that was usually present when he thought of Jared in more than an abstract way. Jensen wasn't really sure what to make of that, but he had always been curious so he poked at his feelings, dragging up different scenarios that would typically make him feel like he was cheating and was shocked to feel only a vague sense of unease but not the sharp pain that came with just thinking of being with another person.

He stepped out of the shower, drying his hair and his body quickly, knowing that Sophia would be there soon to pick him up. Jensen's eye caught his reflection in the mirror over the dresser, and he stepped closer to it, taking in the changes to his body first his eyes finally resting on Jeff's ring around his neck. He ran his fingers along the chain until he came to the ring. When Jensen touched the gold band, he felt a small ache buried in his heart that he knew would never go away.

"I miss you so much," Jensen whispered, "but I think you'd be happy for me and for Jared. We're going to have your niece or your nephew.... and I know you'll keep your eye out for them. I wish things had been different and I'll always love you, but I think I'm ready to really try with Jared." His fingers traced back up the necklace until he came to the catch, fumbling for a few seconds trying to unhook it. There was a feeling of lightness that washed over him, and when he settled the top back on the memory box he'd placed the ring in for safe keeping, he couldn't help feeling that Jeff was giving his approval.

\----------------------------

Jared made his way up the stairs to let Jensen know that Sophia was waiting for him. Chad had gone to the insurance company to pick up more forms that needed filling out, leaving the house quiet. He'd heard when the water shut off and expected Jensen to come down shortly after but Sophia had shown up and Jensen still hadn't come down.

The door to Jensen's room was cracked, and as he went to push it open and announce himself, he heard Jensen speaking. He was standing in front of the mirror, and it seemed as if he was talking to someone but the words were too soft to reach him across the room. Jared realized he must have been talking to Jeff when Jensen reached up to undo the clasp on his necklace. He didn't think it odd since he'd been doing a whole lot of that himself recently, what he did find odd was that Jensen was taking his necklace off. To his knowledge, Jeff's ring hadn't left his neck since he'd put it on those many months ago.

Jared felt he was intruding on something very private, but he couldn't move away from the door, not when Jensen took the ring off, or when he swiped the tears off his cheeks, or when he closed the memory box he'd reverently set Jeff's ring in. He moved away only when Jensen turned to put his clothes on, a small smile touching his lips.

He backed his way towards the steps and down two before moving up them again, making sure to hit the landing a little louder than usual to give Jensen some warning that he was there. Jensen met him at the doorway, the smile still on his face.

"Sophia's here," Jared offered, not sure what else to say until he'd had time to think about what he'd witnessed.

"Then I better get moving, huh. Don't want to keep her waiting, she won't give me my hot chocolate," Jensen said, grinning. He leaned over and placed a light kiss on Jared's cheek before disappearing down the steps.

"Don't forget that Tom's going to drive you home today because I have that meeting," Jared shouted down the stairs.

　

"Yeah, yeah I hear you mom," Jensen's reply floated back up to him as the door closed behind his husband.

\-------------------------------------------

Jensen's classes had been going well, and he thought there might even be a few aspiring artists. He'd had some ideas but he wanted to talk them over with Jared. They were going to have to wait until after the baby came but he was pretty excited about them. Steve and Chris had stopped by to let him know that they were heading to the store for supplies, and if he needed anything Mike was in the office and Tom had one more class to go.

"Don't even think about leaving until Tom gets done," Chris stated firmly.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Jared would skin me alive, and I like it where it is thank you very much."

"We shouldn't be too long, but in case we don't see you before you leave, we wanted to tell you that the kids love the art classes. Of course, I think they wear more out than they get on the board, but they like it." Steve agreed grinning.

"Painting is a very interactive undertaking. Only true artists wear as much as they use on their canvas, not board, you Philistine," Jensen corrected.

Steve shrugged, "Not all of us played in Paris."

"Oh good grief! How many times are you going to use that as an excuse?"

"As many times as I want to," Steve answered smugly.

"Fine, I won't let you see the new sonogram pictures," Jensen said, sticking his tongue out.

"Did you get new ones?" Chris asked already holding out his hand.

"No, but we will next week when we go. Maybe the little squirt will cooperate this time."

Chris snorted, "Don't bet on it."

"I know," Jensen agreed mournfully.

Jensen finished cleaning up his classroom and set things out for the next day he'd be there, since he sometimes had a hard time moving in the morning. He talked with Mike for a few minutes and made a loop through the kitchen to snag a snack. He'd just walked into the main hallway when a man came bursting through the door.

"Where's Gabriel? I want to know where that lying shit is?" The man yelled.

Jensen started to back up, trying to remain unseen but the man turned around, pinning him to the spot with his wild eyes and the huge gun he was holding in his hand. Jensen was scared to even breath, afraid the wrong move would send the man into a shooting frenzy. They both turned to look at the stairs as someone made their way down them. Jensen's heart stopped beating when Gabriel came into view. He also caught sight of Mike with the phone in his hand on the other side of the staircase and Tom frantically trying to get Gabriel to come back up.

When Gabriel hit the bottom step, the man grabbed him and flung him towards Jensen. Gabriel grabbed the table to keep himself upright, but when he moved to step in front of Jensen, the man with the gun drew back the hammer and pointed at them both.

"I want to know why you lied?" The man yelled again, spit flying from his mouth.

"I didn't lie. You killed her, I watched you do it." Gabriel spat back.

Jensen almost passed out when he realized that this was Gabriel's dad, the man that had beat his mother to death in front of his young son and who'd gotten a ridiculously light sentence for murder. He could see the tremors racking the young boy's body in front of him and was racking his brain for a way to fix this.

"You didn't tell them she made me do it. You didn't tell them how she never did anything right. It was her fault!" He screamed, his face turning bright red and his hand waving the gun around.

"That's because it wasn't her fault. It was yours, it was always yours. You'd come home drunk and it didn't matter what we did, it was never right. You were always mad and you always took it out on us," Gabriel yelled back, tears pouring down his face.

"You lying shit! You're just like her!" The man continued to rant. "But I'm going to take care of you just like I took care of her."

Jensen didn't even have time to move before the first shot fired, followed quickly by a second and third.

\---------------------------------

Jared had been in a meeting for the last five hours. All he wanted to do was go home and fall onto the couch with Jensen and watch a movie until they fell asleep. He flicked on the radio, expecting to hear the soothing sounds of Bach or Beethoven but what he got instead was a newscast reporting another shooting. Jared was reaching to turn the station when his hand froze in mid air, the announcer having just given the name of the center.

Dread spilled down Jared's spine as he struggled to get his cell out of his pocket and place a call to Jensen's phone. When the ringing stopped and it went to voicemail his breath caught in his lungs and refused to be exhaled. Jared turned the volume up on the radio trying to get more details only to hear that two men had been taken to the hospital with no updates on their condition. He wasn't even aware of car horns blaring or the screeching of tires as he made a U-turn and headed towards the hospital they had taken the unidentified men.

His phone started ringing a mile before he got to his destination, and he picked up, praying it was Jensen, but the ID flashed Chad.

"Jared, what the hell is going on? I heard the news and I can't get hold of Jensen. Tell me you were just talking to him."

"I can't get up with him either but I'm at the turn off to the hospital right now. Can you call the center and see if you can get up with anybody? I'll let you know what I can after I get in here," Jared said in a rush, staying on the line long enough to hear Chad's agreement.

Jared threw his car into park outside of the emergency room, ignoring the yells from reporters that were almost hit because they didn't move fast enough. Once they got a good look at him, though, they quickly moved out of his way until he was standing at the second set of doors, a burly guard blocking his path.

"I know you're doing your job, but if you don't get the fuck out of my way you'll have to press charges when you wake up," Jared growled.

"Look man, I don't want any trouble, but you need to calm down, and then I can see what we can do to help you," the guard stated firmly.

"I'll calm down when I find my husband. He was at the center, and I can't get up with him."

"What's his name?" the guard asked as he led Jared to the information desk past all the curious eyes waiting to be seen.

"Jensen Ackles-Padalecki. He's six months pregnant." Jared answered around the lump in his throat.

"All right let's see what Joyce here can tell us, okay?" the guard motioned to the woman behind the desk.

"This gentleman here is looking for his husband. Might have been brought in with that center shooting. His name is Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, and he's six months pregnant." The guard looked back at Jared to make sure he'd gotten it right.

Jared nodded, waiting for the woman with his world at the end of her fingertips to type in the information she'd been given.

"He is here and the doctor has just finished looking him over. If you'll give me just a minute, I'll ring a nurse to take you back."

"How about I take him back Joyce," the guard offered. "I know how busy they are right now and Chuck's got the door so it's covered."

Joyce looked at Jared and then back at the guard before nodding her head and buzzing them through.

Jared followed behind the guard, feeling like he was moving through quicksand. The faster they moved, the longer it seemed until they were standing outside a room. Jared turned to thank the guard but he just smiled and motioned for him to go in before turning and heading back to his post.

Jared took a deep breath before opening the door. Realistically, he knew that Jensen had to be marginally okay, or he wouldn't be in just the regular section of the emergency room. However, having his husband anywhere in the hospital ahead of the birthing schedule was unacceptable. He squared his shoulders and pushed the door open, his breath leaving him in a noisy woosh.

Jensen was sitting on the examining table with a thick towel pressed to his forehead, the nurse was bustling around getting packages out of drawers and setting up a tray full of, Jared had no idea what. There was blood all over the front of Jensen's shirt, down his pants and he could see the dried flaking remnants still clinging to his husband's hands. He wasn't sure he could make his legs work in order to get across the room, but when Jensen looked up and saw him, Jared was cradling his husband’s face in his hands before he'd even realized he'd moved.

Jensen opened his mouth to speak but a small sob broke free instead. He'd kept it together through the ride to the hospital, the questions, the examination, but just seeing Jared, it was like permission to let go because it was safe.

"He shot Gabriel," Jensen whispered between gasping breaths. "He shot Gabriel and I don't even know if.. if..."

"I'll find out okay, but first I need to know what happened to you. What's hurt on you baby?" Jared asked, running his hands up and down Jensen's arms.

"I cut my head. I'm not sure how." Jensen frowned, trying to remember what happened.

The nurse stepped up to the bed, trying not to get in the way of the reunion, which Jared appreciated.

"Jensen, I need you to lay down for me so I can get you prepped for the stitches," she requested.

"He needs stitches?"

"Just a few. I've got to get the glass out and then numb it and then the doctors going to come back and do the stitches," she explained to Jensen but included Jared in the conversation.

"Glass?" Jensen asked, still frowning.

"Do you remember where the glass came from? You didn't hit your head did you?" Jared asked, concerned that Jensen couldn't remember, glancing at the nurse for help.

"No, I didn't hit my head.... Oh! There was a mirror, though. I think it shattered. Maybe that's where it came from," Jensen answered hesitantly.

"Sometimes events can be very vivid or extremely fuzzy after a trauma such as your husband has suffered. It usually gets a little clearer once the shock has worn off."

"He's six months pregnant is the shock going to hurt the baby?" Jared asked.

"Dr. Agnit is on his way in right now. After we get the stitches taken care of, we're going to monitor the baby's heartbeat and how it's handling the stress. His blood pressure was a little high, but I hear it's been running that way for awhile." The nurse continued to work on Jensen's head while she filled Jared in on everything that was being done.

Jensen was lying back with his eyes closed, one hand cradling his stomach and the other griped in Jared's. He'd relaxed enough that Jared wasn't sure if they'd given him something, or if it was him running his fingers through the matted hair on Jensen's uninjured side. The gash wasn't very large, but it was deep and it sent a shudder through Jared's body at just how close it had come to him losing them both.

Jared watched as the nurse finished cleaning the glass out of the wound and set about numbing the area so the doctor could finish with the stitches. The door swished open and Dr. Agnit walked in, bringing with him a sense of complete relief. Jared nodded at the doctor, not willing to take his hands off of his husband. He waited as patiently as he could while the doctor looked over Jensen's chart, and spoke quietly with the nurse. When he was satisfied that he had all the information he needed, he made his way over to where they were waiting, Jensen still dozing in and out.

"I hear there was some excitement today," Dr. Agnit stated.

Jared had to give it to the man, nothing ever seemed to ruffle him, and it just made him relax even more that the doctor was so calm.

"I'm not sure exactly how much. Jensen has been a little confused, and I've not talked to anyone else."

Dr. Agnit leaned closer to take a look at the gash on his head, shaking his head and peering over at the readout on the pressure cuff. "Well, he didn't knock his head so that's good. His blood pressure is a little high not that I'd really expect anything else the way his afternoon has gone. Once he's had time to do something other than react then he'll find things will start making sense again, especially when some of his worries are addressed, yours too I'm sure.

The nurse pulled a chair in from another room and pushed it up behind Jared, so he could sit down since he'd started wavering from the adrenaline crash that had suddenly hit him.

"Jensen," the doctor reached out gently nudging his shoulder. "Are you with us?"

"Hmmm."

"It's Dr. Agnit, Jensen, we need to get you hooked up to the monitors and check on the peanut."

Jensen opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the bright lights moving his head carefully to look to the side. "Okay," he mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open.

"You can go back to sleep son. I just wanted you to know what was going on before I started pushing and prodding and hooking you up to things." The doctor patted his hand.

Jared moved to get out of the way but the doctor shooed him back into his seat.

"Everything's on wheels. I can set it right here, and it won't be in the way of him getting his stitches. He needs you more than he needs anything else right now."

It didn't take long and everything was ready. The doctor watched the readings for a few minutes and double checked the blood pressure read out again.

"The baby looks fine Jared, and his blood pressure has evened out some. I want to leave him hooked up for a little longer just to make sure, but I don't think they suffered any ill effects that a lot of TLC won't make right as rain. Is there anything else you need right now before I go get the ER doctor?"

"Could you check on the kid they brought in with Jensen? His name is Gabriel. Jensen said he was shot, and I know as soon as he's lucid again he's going to ask."

"I'll see what I can find out, but if he was shot there's probably not going to be that much to tell." Dr. Agnit warned before he went to find the other doctor.

Jared leaned over, placing a kiss on Jensen's cheek when he shifted and moaned. "Shhhh, it's okay."

The ER doctor arrived shortly and made quick work of the stitches while Jensen slipped in and out of sleep. Jared was starting to worry about the way Jensen kept phasing in and out but Dr. Agnit reassured him not only was it the body's way of dealing with stress, but that he would have been worried if someone that was pregnant weren't reacting that way.

"You know how many naps he's had to take the longer the pregnancy goes, add to that the adrenaline crash you're feeling now and to him, it's like being hit with the good drugs. Once his body has had time to cope, he'll straighten out and then you'll be trying to get him to sleep," the doctor promised.

"Did you find out about Gabriel?" Jared asked cautiously. He didn't know how he was going to tell Jensen if Gabriel hadn't made it.

"He's in surgery right now. He was hit in the side and the chest, both of them are pretty serious, but as you can imagine the chest is the one they’re most concerned with. He's going to be in surgery for awhile so it's going to be hours before you know what's happening, unfortunately."

"Thanks for checking for us," Jared sighed.

"Not a problem. I hope everything works out. I'm going to unhook him now and when he wakes up, you can go. The nurse should be here in just a few minutes with his discharge papers."

\-------------------------------

It was another thirty minutes before Jensen was conscious enough to sit up and look around, wincing at the pull on his stitches.

"Did I sleep through everything?" He asked, still looking around confused.

"Pretty much. They came in and stitched you up, Dr. Agnit came in and hooked you up, checked you out and left." Jared answered, smiling at the look of disbelief on Jensen's face.

"Is the baby okay?" Jensen asked, his hand immediately seeking out and offering soothing strokes to their child.

"The baby's fine. Your blood pressure was a little high, but it evened out once you relaxed," Jared reassured.

"Gabriel," Jensen gasped. "How's Gabriel?" He asked, clutching at Jared's hand.

"We don't know yet. Dr. Agnit checked just a little while ago, and he was in surgery. They told him he'd been in there awhile."

"Jared, he's just a kid. He's got his whole life in front of him."

Jared sighed. There wasn't he could say to that, not that he thought Jensen was actually waiting for an answer.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, but can you get me some water?"

"Are you hungry? I could go grab you something out of the machine?"

"No, I don't think I'll be able to eat right now." He said softly, reaching a hand up to touch his head.

"Do you have a headache? Want me to get the nurse and see if they can give you something?"

"No, it's not that bad, considering. I just need some water, my throat is dry." He smiled his thanks as he took the cup from Jared.

I was coming out of the kitchen and this guy just busts in the door yelling for Gabriel. I remember hoping he'd left to go run some errand because I knew he'd been there earlier. When I saw him walking down the stairs, I just wanted to shove him back up but the guy was waving this huge gun around. I could see Mike on the phone, and I knew he was calling the police but I didn't think they'd get there in time." Jensen paused, taking another sip of water looking at Jared sadly.

Jared nodded, waiting for his husband to continue. He wanted Jensen to be able to get it out and interrupting would only prolong the pain of having to recount it.

"He just kept yelling and then he started shooting. I saw Gabriel fall and I'm not even sure what happened after that. I was trying to keep pressure on the wounds, there were two I think but there was so much blood. Can someone even live when they've lost that much blood?" He asked anxiously.

"People have lived through some of the worst things imaginable and come out the other side."

Jensen shook his head, trying not to remember what he'd already lived through. "He was shooting wild after Gabriel fell. One of them hit the mirror in the hall, when the glass shattered some of it hit me. I guess that's where I got the cut."

"What happened to Gabriel's dad?" Jared ran a hand through Jensen's hair, massaging his head.

"Tom tackled him. I remember that, but I don't know what happened after that. I was trying to keep Gabriel awake and talking. You haven't heard anything about him?"

"Jensen, as soon as I heard there was a shooting at the center, and they'd taken people to the hospital, I tried your phone and it just went to voice mail. I came straight here to look for you. They brought me back here and I haven't left."

"Do you think we could find out, so that Gabriel will know he can't hurt him again when he wakes up?"

"Yeah, I think we can do that," Jared said, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on Jensen's forehead. "Why don't you wash your hands and let me see if I can get you another shirt, and then I'll take you home."

"I can't go home."

"Jen, they're not going to know anything for hours yet, you need to rest."

"I took a nap. I'm not going home until I find our how Gabriel is!" Jensen stated adamantly.

Jared sighed, he knew the chances of leaving the hospital before they found out Gabriel's condition was next to none, but he had to try. He watched Jensen scrub his hands repeatedly before taking them in his own and inspecting them. There were still flecks under Jensen's fingernails but the rest of the blood had been cleaned away.

"I can't get it off Jared," Jensen whispered brokenly.

"I know baby, let me go get you another shirt and see if they've got something to help."

Jared quickly found a nurse and explained the situation. He was grateful when she just nodded and headed towards the linen closet. She gave him an extra large scrub shirt and a small brush, explaining to him that surgeons used it to clean under their fingernails before they went into surgery. He thanked her profusely and quickly made his way back to the room. Jensen was still standing where he'd left him, staring at his hands as if he'd never see them clean again.

Jensen looked up when the door shut but then just went back to looking at his hands. Jared took him by the shoulders, carefully turning him around so he could help him get out of the ruined shirt and put on the new one. Once that was accomplished, he took each of Jensen's hands in his, gently scrubbing away every trace of blood he could find, and then drying off each and every digit before rubbing the rest of his hands dry.

"The nurse said we could wait in the family lounge on the OR floor if we wanted to."

"Will they give us updates, since we're not family?"

"I'm sure either Steve or Chris is up there, and they're both listed as next of kin, aren't they?"

"Yeah, Gabriel didn't have anyone else to put down on his school forms and things so they had a lawyer set it up for them in case something happened. I think the hospital is familiar enough with them to do it anyway, though."

"Okay, so let's go up there and get you settled, and we'll see what's going on. I need to call Chad too, or he's going to rip the hospital apart looking for us."

"Do you think you could call Sophia for me? I know she's heard by now, and I don't want her to worry, but I don't think I can talk to anybody right now."

"You know I will. Now let's go get directions so I can get you sitting down and comfortable."

Jensen wasn't happy with the fact that the nurse came in pushing a wheelchair but since it was the only way he was going to be able to get to the right spot he relented. Jared gave a small smile at Jensen's pout but followed along beside the nurse until they came to the lounge.

Steve was on his feet as soon as Jared pushed the door open for the nurse.

"They said you were okay," Steve growled.

"I am okay," Jensen reassured, letting Jared help him out of the wheelchair and settle him on the small couch, stretching his legs out on the cushions.

"Then why did they wheel you in here, and you have a bandage on your head?"

"I got cut by some flying glass, nothing important, and the wheelchair was the only way they'd let me come up here. Which I don't think was right at all, since I'd been released," Jensen grumbled.

Steve looked at Jared for confirmation and relaxed minutely when his friend's husband nodded.

"Jensen, I'm going to go out to the main lobby so I can make those calls, and then I'll be right back. Do you want anything from the machines while I'm out there?"

"Some juice if they have it, if not get me a soda. I think my sugar level's a little low."

"Are feeling all right," Jared knelt down in front of him, looking him over intently.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy. I don't know how long it's been, since I ate last."

Jared glanced at his watch shocked that it was almost eight. "It's probably been awhile. Let me see what I can find."

"I don't think I could eat right now."

"We'll see," Jared said softly and then turned to Steve. "Do you want something while I'm gone?"

"Can you rustle me up some coffee?"

Jared nodded, promising to be back as soon as he took care of everything.

As soon as the door closed, Steve was off the chair trying to get a look at Jensen's cuts. "Are you sure you shouldn't be in a bed?"

Jensen batted his hands away. "Yes I'm sure, and no, I shouldn't be in a bed. What have they said about Gabriel?"

Steve didn't look all that convinced, but he sat back down with a loud sigh. "Nothing much, he was already in surgery when I got here. They said he was young, and he was fighting but they also said he'd lost a lot of blood and that the bullets entered at places where there are lots of vital organs."

"Did they tell you what his chances were?"

"60/40 and that's not in his favor," Steve answered before Jensen could ask.

Jensen swallowed, not sure there was anything else he could say, but he didn't want to sit and think either.

"Where's Chris?"

"He's at the center trying to get things under control. We decided that one of us needed to be there until things calmed down."

Jensen raised an eyebrow at that, "you both decided?"

"Okay fine, I decided but you know how he is when he just has to sit and wait. He'd either get kicked out, or he'd have to be sedated. I told him once he thought things were okay there, to come up."

"And he accepted that?" Jensen knew better and was waiting for Steve to fold.

"No, not so much."

"So how did you get him to stay?"

"I told him I didn't want Gabriel to see his blood in the hallway when he came home." Steve answered in a near whisper.

Jensen didn't say anything for a minute, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat.

"Tom was going to the store to get some paint while they waited for the police to finish up the evidence collecting. The police are going to want to talk to you, but I told them you weren't going to be available until tomorrow at the earliest depending on what the doctor said. They gave me their card so you could call and set up a time to see them."

"What happened to Gabriel's dad?"

"Police hauled his sorry ass off. He better not see the light of day this time," Steve growled.

"I know someone who can help with that," Jensen offered.

"We might need it."

\--------------------------------------

Jared's long legs ate up the distance to the elevators. He was on the phone as soon as he cleared the no cell poster. Chad picked up on the first ring, yelling at someone in the background to shut the fuck up.

"Is Jensen okay?"

"He's going to be all right. He's got some stitches where he got cut by some flying glass, but he's going to be fine."

"How about the baby?"

"Dr. Agnit showed up a little while after I got there and he hooked Jensen up to the monitors and everything looked good. His blood pressure was up right after, but it had come back down once he'd relaxed some. Where are you at right now?"

"Standing in the Emergency room lobby glaring at the nurse that won't tell me shit," Chad complained.

"Well, meet me outside the main lobby where I will tell you shit." Jared hung up to dial Sophia's number.

He stepped outside the sliding doors, looking around for Chad while he waited for Sophia to answer the phone.

"Jared?" Sophia answered in a panic.

"Yeah, it's me. You've heard the news, I guess."

"Is Jensen all right? They said two victims were taken to the hospital, but they weren't releasing names. I know Jensen was going to be there today."

Jared jumped in when Sophia took a breath. "He was there, and they did bring him to the hospital, but he just needed stitches from flying glass."

"Who was the other person?"

He knew she'd gone to the center with Jensen and even started volunteering when she had some free time, so he knew it wasn't going to be easy when he told her.

"It was Gabriel. He's in surgery right now, I don't know anything else."

"Jesus Christ! It was his dad wasn't it? That son of a bitch!"

"How did you know it was his dad?"

"Gabriel told me his dad had sent him a letter. He never read it, said he gave it to Chris, and I know it was sent through the prison, but it's not that hard to find someone if you really want to. The center’s been on TV too, the grand opening, and I know Gabriel was there. They could have caught him on tape."

Jared hadn't even thought of that. Only the counselors were around during the kiss ass part of the grand opening but that didn't mean the news crews hadn't gotten some earlier footage. He was pretty sure the few people that had already been in residence stayed well out of the lime light for privacy and security sake but Gabriel helped in a lot of areas, even if he wasn't a full fledged counselor.

"Did they shoot the bastard?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but I honestly haven't asked anybody. The news didn't say?"

"No, but they're keeping fairly tight lipped on the information they're releasing. Do you need me to bring you guys anything?"

"I don't think so. Chad's already here so I'll send him, but Jensen would probably be happy to see you tomorrow."

"I'll come when I get off work. He's not going to leave until he finds out about Gabriel, and then he needs to get some rest. You make sure he takes care of himself, or you're gonna have to deal with me."

Jared smiled at the normality of the threat and promised to do so before hanging up just as Chad rounded the corner, panting as if he'd run a mile.

"Damn it," he huffed.

"Seriously, you really need to go to the gym." Jared ragged him.

"Fuck you bitch. My heart rate was already through the roof not knowing what was going on. Now what the hell happened?"

Jared filled him in on everything he knew so far and what was going on with Gabriel.

"Shit that's not cool. He's a great kid."

They made their way to the cafeteria to find food and coffee for everyone. Chad told him that they still hadn't released the names, but that once they did, he needed to have a statement ready so they could try to keep the chaos to a minimum for Jensen's sake.

By the time they made it back upstairs, Jensen had dozed off with his neck at an odd angle and Steve was just staring off into space. Jared gently prodded Jensen, not wanting to startle him, but happy when Jensen didn't seem to have a problem waking. Chad had given Steve his coffee and a bag of food and taken a seat across from them to start in on his own choices. Jensen swung his legs around, sitting up with a groan.

"I can't decide what hates me the most my back, my neck or my bladder," Jensen complained.

"Well I'm not sure I can help you with that but the bathroom’s right across the hall," Chad answered, grinning.

"I'll think of a smart ass remark while I'm gone," Jensen promised, moving as quickly as possible with his expanded form.

"You know this whole pregnancy sucked my brains out excuse is going to run out soon, and you'll just have to concede I have the sharper wit," Chad taunted. "Might as well give it up now."

"The only thing sharp on you is your ass. How the hell can you sit on that bony thing," Jensen shot back as the door swished shut, leaving Chad with his mouth hanging open.

Steve almost choked on his coffee and Jared was forever grateful he hadn't started eating yet because Chad's face was priceless.

"My ass is not bony! I'll have you know it's nice and round and plump!"

"Stop, don't say anything else. I think I'm traumatized by the visual," Jared moaned.

Steve couldn't help the snicker that escaped. It was nice to have some comedic relief when it felt like you might shatter from the stress.

Chris made it to the hospital at eleven, exhaustion and worry weighing him down. Jensen didn't think he'd ever seen his friend look as bad as he did at the moment. They'd tried to get Chad to leave, but he'd refused. He'd told them all that he was there to make sure they stayed fed and hydrated, and he really wanted to know that Gabriel was going to be all right before he went home and even attempted to sleep. Chris was like a mother hen until he was positive Jensen was all right and then the second guessing started.

"Do you think we should revisit the need for security now," Chris asked quietly.

"Unfortunately, it looks like it's something we're going to have to do," Steve admitted.

"Why haven't you done it before now?" Jared asked and when he realized it sounded too much like an accusation quickly added. "I'm not saying this was anyone's fault but that sick fuck, but why did you decide against it?"

"It sounds like you've talked about it before," Jensen added.

"We have and Chris was all for it on a small scale, but I was afraid it'd scare people from coming to us," Steve explained.

"Why would you think it'd scare people away?" Jared asked even though he had some inkling as to the reasons.

"A lot of the people we deal with have been victimized in some way. Not all, but most," Steve began. "Not only by loved ones but many by authority figures, people they're supposed to be able to trust and rely on."

"Steve was worried that it would keep people from coming to us for help, and I agreed with him on that aspect. I thought it was an acceptable trade off for the security of everyone, but I still had some of the same concerns about it that Steve did, and we'd never had a problem before so I put it out of my head as a very small risk." Chris picked up as Steve paused.

"I should have listened to you."

Chris took Steve's hand in his and squeezed, "There's no way you would know that this was going to happen. Hell, nowadays you're not safe at school or the mall from crazy ass people. It's most certainly not your fault and I don't even want you thinking that way."

"I think you're the on that told me you can't dwell on the mistakes we make, but we take them and learn from them and do better the next time," Jensen cut in, leveling Steve with a steady look.

"Yeah and I think you were the one that said 'easier said than done' were you not?" Steve responded, exhaustion and defeat echoing in the reminder.

"True, but I've learned a lot since then, and while it's not easy, it's great advice."

Steve nodded but before he could say anything, else the door to the waiting room opened and a very weary looking doctor walked through with his cap in his hand.

"Are you the family of Mr. Tigerman?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," Steve and Chris answered in unison.

The doctor looked around at the assembled group. "All of you?"

"Chris and I are his next of kin. These are his friends, but you can speak in front of them."

"Okay then, let's take a seat, and I'll tell you where we're at." He gestured to the couches, taking a seat himself.

"Mr. Tigerman."

"Gabriel," Chris stated.

"Excuse me."

"His name is Gabriel. He'd pee himself if he heard you referring to him as Mr. Tigerman," Steve explained.

"Oh," the doctor looked amused. "Okay, well, Gabriel came in with two gunshot wounds, one to his chest and one to his side. It was touch and go for a while. We lost him a couple of times, he'd lost a lot of blood. We had to replace a substantial amount but both bullets managed to miss any vital organs. They did nick some arteries, which accounted for his blood loss, but once we found the bleeders, we were able to get the rest taken care of fairly quickly. I know it didn't seem like it from your end," the doctor conceded.

"But he's going to be all right?" Chad asked what everyone was too afraid to.

"He's young but he's a fighter. He's already shown us that, but he's not out of the woods yet. Between the massive blood loss and the trauma and shock to his body, he still has some healing to do. Barring any complications, he should make a full recovery."

"What kind of complications?" Steve asked.

"Infection is a major concern anytime a foreign object enters the body, and you have to remove it. Pneumonia is another. When a patient's immune system is weak and the body is under a lot of stress, it crops up even using preventive measures," The doctor explained.

"How long before we know?" Chris asked wearily.

"If we can get him past the next 72 hours then I think we have a good chance of skipping all the bad things," the doctor answered smiling.

"Can we see him?" Steve's hopeful voice made Jensen wince internally. He hated when his friends were hurting.

"I'll let you both see him for fifteen minutes. Then you'll need to get with the ICU staff and let them put you on a schedule. I'd suggest at least one of you go home and get some sleep so you can relive whoever is going to stay the rest of the night," he suggested.

"I thought you were supposed to tell us all to go home and get some rest." Chris stated, standing and stretching his cramped muscles.

"If I didn't know I'd be wasting my breath, I would. I've learned over the years that someone's always going to stay so I try to be realistic with my advice," the doctor replied, smiling when Steve gave him a sheepish shrug.

The doctor left to make arrangements for their visit while everyone else said their goodbyes.

"Guys, I may have an answer to your security problem. Let me and Chad make some calls, and when things settle down some, then we'll talk about it," Jared offered.

"That'd be great. I really appreciate you guys sticking around," Chris answered for them both.

"I'm going to get out of here. Jared, I'll call you tomorrow afternoon when I crawl out of bed," Chad said, waving his way out the door.

Jared pulled Jensen to his feet, steadying him as he swayed a little. "Let's get you home and in bed. You can check up on Gabe tomorrow after Sophia's looked you over to assure herself you're fine, and I'm taking care of you.

"She didn't threaten you again did she?" Jensen asked sleepily.

"If she did then I'm thankful you have someone else besides me keeping an eye out for you." Jared replied, pulling him towards the door.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Jensen mumbled through a yawn.

Jared led him through the hospital after a brief debate about using the wheelchair, one that Jared gave up on when he realized it was just going to take longer to get Jensen home if he continued to argue with him. Jensen did give in when Jared asked him to please wait in the lobby since he had no idea what they'd done with his car when he'd left it in the no parking zone. Thankfully, the guard who had been at the door had gotten them to just tow it to the nearest parking area instead of to a police impound lot.

The drive home had been fairly quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts and trying to come to terms with the events of the day. Jared noticed a small smile appear on Jensen's face when they pulled up to the driveway and all the lights came on, welcoming them back. He pulled into the garage and slowly turned off first the engine and then the lights, trying to decide how to ask Jensen to stay in his room for at least the night. Jared didn't know if he'd be able to sleep without the physical proof that Jensen was okay and there with him.

Having come no closer to an answer, he pushed the door open, hearing Jensen's open on the other side and shut just a second after his. Jared unlocked the door and waited for Jensen to cross the threshold before doing the same and locking it for the night. He set the alarm and turned, expecting Jensen to be making his way towards the stairs, but when he headed that way himself he saw his husband waiting for him at the doorway.

"Jensen?"

"Would it be okay if I stayed in your room tonight?" Jensen asked self-consciously.

"You know you don't have to ask. You're always welcome to stay with me," He answered gently, taking Jensen's hand and moving up the stairs.

"I don't want to be alone."

Jensen knew Jared was probably waiting for the word ‘tonight’ to be tacked onto the end of the sentence, but in all honesty, he was just tired of being alone period.

Jared didn't say anything, leading the way into his bedroom and waiting for Jensen to sit on the edge of the bed. He bent down to untie Jensen's shoes, removing them before doing the same with his socks.

"Jared?"

"Yeah?"

"I can do that myself you know." Jensen said softly.

"I know you can, but I would really like to do it for you if that's okay."

"Okay."

Jared reached up and helped Jensen tug the scrub shirt over his head, being careful of the bandage on his forehead. His eyes automatically dropped to where Jeff's ring had hung until this morning, not sure if he should say anything or not.

Jensen's eyes followed where Jared was looking, hand lifting to his neck where the necklace had been. "I took it off this morning, and I told Jeff that I would always love him, but I thought it was time to move forward." He paused, lifting his eyes to look at his husband. "All I could think about when that man burst into the center was I finally felt ready to tell you..... and I wasn't going to get the chance."

"What were you going to tell me Jensen?" Jared asked, wiping the tears away that had escaped Jensen's long lashes.

"That I love you. I don't know when it happened, and I'm not sure why you waited for me to catch up, but I'm really, really happy you did."

If it had been any other time Jared would be jumping for joy, and he probably would tomorrow but at the moment he was trying to form a response around the lump in his throat.

"I told you I'd wait for as long as it took, and if I had to wait another ten years, I would. You're worth it." Jared told the man in front of him, his heart turning over when Jensen gave him a radiant smile.

"Let's get you in the shower, so we can get to sleep before the sun comes up."

Jensen followed Jared into the bathroom, taking in the large space, but not paying much attention to specifics. He sat on the chair that was by the sink, watching Jared turn the water on, and taking huge fluffy towels out of the cabinet before testing the temperature of the water until he was satisfied that everything was ready. Jared pulled Jensen up and waited to make sure he was steady on his feat before releasing him.

"I'll wait right here in the chair, but I don't want to leave you in here alone in case you get dizzy."

Jensen just nodded, unbuckling his belt and flicking the button open, pulling the zipper down before pushing them over his rounded stomach and down his hips. All Jared could do was watch and pray he could keep his hands to himself. Jensen didn't seem to realize he was putting on a show, turning his back as he dropped his boxers and stepped into the shower, pulling the door closed behind him.

Jared wasn't sure if he should be relieved that he'd gone with smoky glass, or if he should beat his head against the wall for the choice. He could make out the outline of long lean muscle and the swell of their child as Jensen worked to get the smell of blood and antiseptic off his skin. He was lost in a haze of lust and love, debating the merits of a cold shower for himself when he realized Jensen had cleared his throat.

"What?" He asked assuming he'd missed something.

"Can you help me wash my hair?" Jensen asked, barely audible over the rain of water on tile. "I'm supposed to keep the stitches dry, and I'm not sure I can do that and keep from falling over."

Jared swallowed thickly, "Yeah, I can do that."

Jensen's back was to him when he opened the shower door, streams of water running over his shoulders, caressing the lines of his back and down over the tight round flesh of his ass. Jensen looked over his shoulder, quirking an eyebrow at Jared's state of overdress.

Jared looked down at his clothes and then back up at Jensen. "Um... you want me to take them off?"

"I think it'll work better that way," Jensen said grinning, turning back around to enjoy the multiple heads of the shower.

Jared kicked his way out of his shoes and toed his socks off, pulling his shirt over his head at the same time. He paused when unbuckling his belt but Jensen just picked up the shampoo and held it over his shoulder, waiting patiently. He was stepping into the shower before his pants and boxers had time to fully settle in a pile. Jared pulled the door shut, leaning down to place a kiss on Jensen's shoulder before taking the offered shampoo and setting it on the shelf beside him.

Jensen shifted to the side to give Jared room to grab the detachable showerhead. Jensen sighed as he was pulled gently backwards to rest against Jared's chest, who placed his hand in front of the bandage and angled the spray to only wet Jensen's hair. Jared nudged Jensen forward so he could soap up his hands, working the lather into the wet strands and massaging his scalp. Jensen's moan shot heat straight through Jared's body exploding through every point of contact he had with the man in front of him.

He'd been half hard since he'd watched Jensen strip but now he wasn't sure a cold shower would help him. Jared moved to side, trying to keep his need from disturbing the quiet moment they were surrounded by, but Jensen obviously had other ideas, reaching back and pulling Jared flush against his body, hands gripping the sides of his legs. Jared ran his hands up his husbands arms and then back down, coming around to pull him even closer, running the palms of his hands along the slick tight skin of his stomach.

"Are you sure?" Jared whispered in Jensen's ear.

Jensen wasn't sure if he was asking about the time or the place or even what, but it didn't really matter. The answer to all three was yes so he just nodded his head, rolling it to the side to lick away a trickle of water that was sliding down Jared's neck. He whimpered when Jared pulled away and the cool air hit his back from the open shower door, but was quickly warmed as Jared settled behind him again. Jared picked up the soap and lathered his hands, turning Jensen around kneeling down in front of him.

"Jared you don't...."

"I know, but I want to." Jared cut in, running his soapy hands along the strong calves and over bowed knees. He placed a kiss on the inside of both before moving up long muscled thighs. He kept his touch light, running fingers along the crease of hip and leg, tonguing the line in the wake of his touch. Jared could feel the tremors running through Jensen's body, delighting at the small gasps and sighs he elicited with his attention. He ran his fingers through the wet curls surrounding Jensen's cock, brushing his knuckles along the hot length, watching as his touch caused the hard flesh to jump and bob in front of him.

Jensen gripped the top of his shoulders to steady himself, shifting to keep his balance as Jared soaped his hands again, jerking forward when Jared took him into the hot confines of his mouth. Jared ran his hands along the sides of Jensen's stomach as he took his husband’s cock deeper, tongue running along the vein and dipping into the slit to collect the drops of come welling there. He moved one hand behind Jensen, pulling him forward, taking Jensen all the way to the back of his throat and swallowing. He let his fingers play along the taut globes of Jensen's ass and trailed a finger down the cleft, dipping inward with shallow pressure to the puckered hole hidden there.

Jared pulled off, looking up at Jensen who was looking down at him, pupils blown wide, flush flowing from his cheeks and down his chest. He didn't think he'd seen anything more gorgeous in his life and it was all his. He stood, leaning over to grab the soap but Jensen pulled him down into a kiss, tongue flicking out along the seam of Jared's lips until he opened and then delved deep to taste himself on Jared's tongue.

He moaned deep in his throat, pulling Jensen closer, taking what was given and pouring all his love and need in return. Jared broke the kiss, nipping at Jensen's bottom lip, catching it between his teeth and running his tongue along the captured flesh. Jensen pulled back, turning to face the tile and leaning back, waiting for Jared to adjust the showerhead so it wouldn't hit his stitches. Jared lathered his hands again, rubbing the soap across the wide expanse of shoulders and down the planes of Jensen's back, cataloging the freckles overlaid with thin white scars. He struggled not to lose the moment by letting his rage mount at someone hurting Jensen this way.

Jensen must have known what he was thinking because the words were soft but still audible.

"He doesn't belong here."

Jared bent and left a sloppy kiss on the joining between neck and shoulder, nodding into the wet strands of hair. He took Jensen's hand in his, bringing each to his lips, placing a kiss on the tips of each finger and replacing them gently against the warm tile, kissing his way over his husband's shoulders, lingering to suck a small red bruise into the freckles there before moving on to continue his exploration of Jensen's neck.

Jensen let his head loll forward as he heard the top to the bottle of lube that Jared had retrieved earlier snap open. He widened his stance to give Jared better access, anticipating the first touch, and thankfully, Jared didn't leave him waiting long. Jensen felt a long slick finger slide along the crease, sliding inward, ghosting across his hole, he tried to push back into the touch but was stopped by Jared's hand on his lower back. He bit his lip, trying to be patient, but he felt like he'd been waiting forever and since it was really his fault, he didn't think he could complain.

"I'm going to take care of you," Jared whispered in Jensen's ear, licking along the shell.

Jared lifted one of Jensen's legs, to place his foot on the bench that rang the length of the shower, helping to support Jensen's weight with his own, and slipping his hand down to roll Jensen's balls in the palm of his hand. The weight and heat made Jared's mouth water, the need to taste almost overpowering, but he knew Jensen could only take so much before even his need was sacrificed to exhaustion. He gently massaged the hot flesh one more time before moving his fingers behind them to the smooth flesh that led to where they would both find the release they needed.

Jensen whimpered as Jared ran slick fingers along the crease of his ass, sliding them deeper with each pass until he focused in on the puckered opening over and over. When he didn't think he could take any more, he felt the firm steady pressure of a finger pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He moaned when Jared finally breached him, trying not to push back when all he wanted was more. Jared must have been reading his mind again because one finger became two, followed by a third working in slow, deep strokes.

He groaned when Jared removed his fingers, but knew that he wouldn't have long to wait before Jared would take care of him. Jensen felt the blunt head of Jared's cock pressing against the stretched ring of muscle. He took a deep breath, relaxing as much as possible to make it easier for Jared, knowing that although Jared's fingers were big, they weren't anywhere near as wide as what he was sliding into him now.

Jared ran his hands over Jensen's back and over his stomach, pushing forward at a slow, steady pace, not wanting to hurt or overwhelm his husband. When he was fully sheathed in Jensen's tight heat he wrapped his arm around Jensen's chest to support his body, laying his head between Jensen's shoulder blades to wait for him to adjust to the intrusion. Jared held himself still until Jensen started pushing back, tiny moans breaking free as he worked himself against the slack Jared had left.

Jared acknowledged Jensen's permission to move by slowly sliding almost all the way out and pushing back in, keeping the thrust gentle and slow. It didn't take long for Jensen to make a disgruntled sound in his throat, pushing back quickly just as Jared went to slide forward. Surprised, he grabbed Jensen by the waist to hold him still. He got the message though and picked up the pace, changing angles until Jensen gasped and clenched around him, shuddering at the impact of Jared's cock slamming into his prostate.

He lost track of how many times he teetered on the edge only to clench his teeth and hold on just a little longer. Jared slid his hand over Jensen's nipples, rolling them between his fingers, and pinching them gently, knowing how sensitive they were right now. He continued down until he could palm the weight of Jensen's swollen stomach, caressing the tight skin before finally moving to the heavy weight of Jensen's cock bobbing neglected until Jared wrapped his hand around it.

Jared matched the strokes of his hands to the thrust of his cock, knowing that Jensen was close when he'd lost all words and only little broken sounds came in their place. He felt the tremors start seconds before the tight channel his cock was riding spasmed and locked down around him, sending him spiraling towards his own release. Jared felt the shock roll up his spine and his balls draw up before his come filled Jensen to overflowing, slowing his thrusts as he finished his own orgasm.

Jensen shuddered in the aftershock, wrapping his hand around Jared's to still his strokes as he became too sensitive to touch. Even the lukewarm water cascading down his back was making his skin jump and twitch under its caress. Jared let go, tangling his fingers with Jensen's as he carefully pulled out and helped him turn and lean against the wall. He could already feel the exhaustion creeping up on him and Jensen looked like he was losing the battle to keep his eyes open.

"Jensen, don't go to sleep."

"Hmm," Jensen mumbled.

Jared couldn't do anything but smile at Jensen sleepy sounds. He quickly washed them in the cooling water and shuffled his way out of the shower with Jensen in tow. Jared wrapped him in a large towel, leading him to the chair by the sink, and sitting him down. He made quick work of drying himself off before he took a clean bandage and changed out the damp one covering Jensen's stitches. It took a few minutes to get Jensen to stand long enough to dry him off and get him in the bed, but as soon as Jared slid in beside him, Jensen was backing his way into the middle until Jared turned on his side and wrapped his arm around him and their child.

The last thing Jared would remember was the sleepy sound of Jensen telling him he loved him before he fell into a peaceful night's sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Jared woke first, the preceding day rushing back to him before he registered the warm weight pressed against the length of his body. He released his breath in a long, slow exhale, letting the hand that had been resting on Jensen's hip slide down to settle on the smooth round swell of their baby. Jared knew Jensen wouldn't sleep much longer, he could feel the baby shifting and kicking in the decreasing space it was inhabited. He was still in awe of the miracle they'd been blessed with, marveling at the changes in Jensen's body and watching their child grow and change in the ultra sounds over the months. Jared bent forward, placing a kiss behind Jensen's ear, a feeling of contentment washing over him as a sleepy smile spread over the relaxed lines of his husband's face.

"Hey," Jensen whispered as he shifted closer to Jared.

"You sleep okay?" Jared asked softly.

"Yeah, the bed’s really comfortable," Jensen answered seriously.

"Just the bed?" Jared huffed in mock indignation.

"Well, maybe not just the bed." Jensen grinned, turning over and tucking his head under Jared's chin and throwing his leg over Jared's so he could get closer. His belly unfortunately kept him from getting as close as he liked.

"Have the guys called?"

Jared smiled at the muffled quality of the question, Jensen's breath tickling across his chest making him even more cognizant of the change in their relationship.

"Nope, all quiet."

"Think that's a good sign?"

"You know they would have called if there had been any change."

"Yeah, I'm just worried," Jensen confessed, shifting around.

"I know you are. How's your head?"

"A little sore, but not too bad." Jensen shifted again.

"What's wrong? Jared asked, pulling back so he could look down at his husband.

"I need to pee," Jensen moaned.

"So go," Jared relaxed his grip so Jensen could move.

"I don't wanna," Jensen whined. "You go for me."

Jared snorted. "I don't think that's going to work out so well. You can come back you know."

"No, I can't because I've got to call Chris, and then I need to call Sophia so she can come and visually inspect that I'm in one piece." Jensen pouted, kicking the covers away so he could sit up and swing himself out of bed.

"How about you take care of business and call Sophia? I can call Chris and see what’s going on because he already knows you’re in one piece, even if you’re a bit chipped."

Jensen stuck his tongue out at the last part of Jared's comment. "I'm going to tell Sophia to bring me some goodies, and I'm not going to let you have any."

"Sophia loves me," Jared raised his voice to be heard over the sigh of relief coming from the other room.

"Not as much as she loves me," Jensen sing-songed back. "I'm having her godchild."

"Have you told her that yet?"

"No, have you told Chad yet?" Jensen asked, coming out of the bathroom and crawling onto the bed.

"Nope, I thought we might get together for dinner and tell them at the same time, maybe at Jeff's. We haven't been there since we've been married." Jared grabbed their phones off the night stand, handing Jensen his and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Jensen asked, propping the pillow behind his back.

"To call Chris?"

"Why can't you do that in here?"

"Because I didn't want to interfere with your call."

"No, you want to get coffee," Jensen pouted.

Jared crossed the room and sat down, leaning over and nibbled on the lip that Jensen still had poked out. "I'll make it up to you after the baby's born."

"How?" Jensen asked, trying not to let the desire coursing through his body sidetrack him.

"I'll make you coffee for every day that you've been deprived," Jared offered.

"Hmm... What if I want something else with my coffee?"

"I can get Sophia to keep us stocked in cinnamon buns."

"You're sweetening the pot, huh."

"I have to make it worth your while, don't I?"

"Yep, but I'd much rather have kisses with my coffee," Jensen complained, grabbing his glasses so he could see the numbers on his phone.

"Now, that I can do." Jared smiled, stealing another kiss. "Call Sophia before she's standing at the door beating it down."

Jensen just shook his head, dialing the familiar number as he listened to Jared clatter down the stairs. He settled in against the pillows, his eyes drifting around the room, cataloging the decor while he waited for Sophia to pick up the phone. He'd been otherwise occupied the night before and the short trip to the bathroom had been done in a blurred hurry so this was his first time really taking in Jared's private domain.

The walls were painted a soft blue with the accents done a few shades darker. The floor was hardwood, as was the rest of the house, but there were several thick rugs in varying colors adding to the comfortable, warm feeling the room seemed to exude. There were several knick-knacks scattered on the dressers that appeared to be from places that Jared had traveled, and a couple of paintings hanging on the walls not occupied by the modest entertainment unit across from the bed.

However, the thing that caught his eye was a particular work of art reflected in the mirror over the dresser. Jensen closed the phone when Sophia's voice mail picked up and slid out of bed and turned so he could get a better look at the painting over the bed. He was amazed the he hadn't noticed it earlier, the amount of love and time he'd poured into it. It wasn't that he didn't do that with all his paintings but this one had been a very intimate undertaking. He was still staring at it in a state of shock and confusion when Jared pushed the door open, a hot chocolate in his hand.

Jared came to an abrupt halt when he encountered Jensen standing in the middle of the floor looking at the painting on the wall. He set the cup down carefully, and quietly approached his husband, not really sure what to say.

"Um..." He cleared his throat and tried again. "Sophia called and said don’t bother calling because she’s going to see for herself if you’re okay so don’t waste your time trying to talk her out of it, she'll be here in about fifteen minutes."

Jensen nodded his understanding, but still didn't turn around.

"Jensen?"

"Why did you buy this painting?" Jensen asked.

"It was a great cause," Jared answered a little confused by the question and deeply concerned at how thick Jensen's voice had sounded.

"But why this painting?" Jensen finally turned around to look at Jared.

"I liked it? Was there a reason I shouldn't have bought it?" Jared was even more worried when Jensen ducked his head trying to hide the swipe of his hand across his eyes.

Jensen sat down on the bed and glanced back up at the painting. "No, it's just I would have painted you one. All you had to do was ask me."

Jared sat down beside his husband, trying to fathom why Jensen would be so emotional over this particular piece of art. He thought it might have something to do with the fact that it had almost not been in the show.

"I know you would have, but I loved this one and it was a opportunity to support both a great cause and my husband at the same time." Jared took Jensen's hand. "Why was it almost taken out of the show?"

"I painted it for Jeff as a wedding present," Jensen answered swallowing around the lump in his throat.

Jared had known the painting had a story behind it, and he known it was going to be something that drudged up emotions he wasn't at all comfortable with. He was ready for the empty feeling that accompanied thinking about his brother, but the jealousy that came with it made him feel guilty and confused. He shelved his reaction for the moment, until a more appropriate time to take it back out and examine it, right now the conversation with his husband was more important. Jared knew Jensen would have thought long and hard before adding that piece to the showing and he could tell it had still been an extremely hard decision. "Why did you decide to add it to the show?"

"I'd just found out I was pregnant and when I started looking into the medical issues involved and then the recovery on top of supporting another person, I panicked a little. I mean, I knew I was financially secure, but I was worried that I might have problems that would keep me from painting for a while and it might have been better to have a little cushion. Then there was the fact that selling it in the show would be supporting something Jeff and I felt very strongly about and it seemed a like a great choice at the time."

"You almost pulled it out, though?"

"Yeah, after I'd told you about the baby and you wanted to be there in every way, I thought about taking it out but then I overheard Tom and Mike having a... heated discussion about an additional room they needed and figured Jeff would be proud to have had a hand in helping get it built so I left it in."

"Jeff would be proud, but I'm glad I was the one that bought it, now it can stay in the family." Jared pulled Jensen closer placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

The doorbell rang announcing Sophia's arrival and Jared pushed Jensen toward the shower, promising to entertain their friend until Jensen could get dressed.

Jensen took a shower and dressed quickly, not putting it past Sophia to barge in if he took too long. He also needed to find out if Jared had talked to Chris, since they'd gotten sidetracked earlier. He ran a comb through his hair, glancing at the stitches he'd left uncovered, and noticed that the skin was turning lovely shades of purple and black. He shrugged, tossing the comb on the dresser, and headed out the door to reassure his friend that he was fine. He followed the voices towards the kitchen, the easy conversation drawing him to the room.

"Is that hot chocolate?" a horrified Sophia asked, making Jensen smile. She was such a purest snob when it came to things like coffee and hot chocolate.

"It was, but we were talking, and I forgot to give it to him." Jared's voice filtered through the doorway.

"Well, I brought the blend he likes so I'll make some fresh. Can you put these in the oven to warm up?"

"Did you already set it?"

"Yep, it should be warm by now. Shouldn't take them but a few minutes to be ready," Sophia answered.

Jensen rounded the corner to find Jared putting cinnamon rolls in the oven and Sophia fixing him his favorite hot chocolate. Leaning against the door frame and soaking in the calm, domestic normality, but knowing that the rest of the day would be anything but, Jensen knew he couldn’t be luckier.

Sophia caught sight of him first, dropping the spoon she'd been measuring the coco with and barreled towards him. She stopped inches away, going up on her tiptoes to brush his hair back so she could look at the damage. Jensen watched fascinated as her normally bright hazel eyes darkened in anger.

"He'd better hope he dies before I get my hands on him," she growled.

Jensen grabbed her hand and squeezed a little before letting it go. "I'm fine, a little banged up, but I'm fine." He looked over Sophia's head at Jared who appeared to contemplating how to help Sophia in her homicidal endeavor. "Did you get hold of Chris?"

"Not earlier, but he called me back a few minutes ago. He'd gone downstairs to grab them some food so he checked his phone. He said the doctors are cautiously optimistic, but they'll be happier when Gabriel wakes up."

"He's not awake yet?" Jensen's concern grew as Sophia gently forced him into a seat.

"No, but they said that's not that unusual. The body does what it needs to in order to heal, but they're always relieved when a patient wakes up sooner rather than later."

"Can we go see him?"

"After you eat some breakfast," Sophia cut in before Jared had the chance to respond.

"Yes mom," Jensen retorted.

Jared pulled the pan out of the oven and slid the rolls onto a plate while Sophia finished up the hot chocolate. Once everyone was settled the conversation turned to the events from the day before. Jensen explained everything that had happened and how he'd gotten hurt. Jared excused himself after a half hour to make the phone calls about security for the center.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sophia asked again, still not totally convinced.

"I'm seriously fine. Just worried about Gabriel."

"You seemed to be a little more relaxed than usual," Sophia observed.

Jensen ducked his head, trying to hide his blush.

"Jensen? Why are you so relaxed?" Sophia asked again, grinning at her friend's attempt to hide his face.

"Shut up," Jensen whined.

"Since I know you didn't take a happy pill, and you weren't in the bath long enough then it must be something else." Sophia hummed as she thought.

Jensen cringed, knowing she'd already figured it out, and she was just drawing out the torture.

She sobered quickly, her face changing to pin him with intense contemplation. "Tell me this is what you want? That he's what you want?"

"He is," Jensen answered softly. "I thought after Jeff that there wouldn't be anyone else I could trust, much less love like I did Jeff."

"Have you told him?"

"Yeah, last night."

"Jensen, are you sure it wasn't a reaction to what happened to you?"

"I'm sure. I took off Jeff's ring that morning," Jensen's voice was hoarse with emotion. "I'd already decided that I wanted our relationship to work. I'm not sure I'd put a name to how I felt for Jared yet, but I knew that's what it was whether I was ready to say it or not."

Sophia nodded reassured and then her eyes took on an evil glint. "You totally did it, didn't you?"

"Oh God!" Jensen moaned, dropping his head to the table. "OW!"

"Nobody told you to hit the boo boo," Sophia cackled gleefully.

Jensen was saved from trying to find a rebuttal when Jared came back into the room.

"Did you get up with your friend?" Jensen asked.

"Yep, Cliff said he'd meet with Chris and Steve as soon as they were ready. You want to head over to the hospital now or wait until around lunchtime?"

"I'd rather go now, unless you have something you need to do first."

"Jensen, there's nothing more important right now than making sure you and Gabriel are okay."

Jensen didn't really know how to respond, still uncomfortable with someone putting him first. It wasn't that Jeff didn't do the same thing, but Jeff had been doing that since they were kids and with Jared it was just different.

Sophia seemed to know he was at a loss because she offered to bring lunch by so they could eat something besides hospital fare. She promised to drop by a little after noon and made sure they both knew to call her if they needed anything before they went their separate ways.

Jensen opted to drive, he knew it wouldn't be long before his stomach would keep him from getting behind the wheel. Male pregnancies were different is many ways including that men carried their babies much higher than women, not that some women didn't carry high but men always did.

When they arrived at the hospital, Steve met them downstairs so they could bypass the information desk and nurse’s stations.

"Has he woken up yet?" Jensen asked.

"No, not yet, but the doctors seem to think it won't be much longer. His vitals are indicating that he's closer to consciousness, so they're hoping he'll come to in the next couple of hours. How are you feeling?" Steve's worried gaze swept over him.

"I've had worse than this," Jensen reminded him.

"I know," Steve sighed looking at Jared with sad eyes.

"Steve, I'm fine, Jared's taking great care of me. Stop worrying about me. You have enough on your plate right now." Jensen slung his arm around his friend’s shoulder, giving him a half hug.

"I talked to Cliff this morning. He said whenever you want to set up a meeting he'd make it happen." Jared cut in, giving them something else to focus on.

"I'll tell Chris. He's going to want to be the one that talks to him, but until we know what Gabriel needs it's going to have to wait because Chris isn't budging."

"Has he left at all?" Jensen asked.

"Nope, can't even get him to go home and check on the center. Not that I blame him but I think everyone there needs to see him to soothe some of their fears."

"Do you need us to go check up on things?" Jared offered.

"Nah, the staff is there and no matter how wacky Mike is he always puts that first," Steve paused. "Okay, second because lord knows the sun rises and sets on Tom."

"Tom's a good guy," Jensen reminded him as they waited for the elevator.

"Yeah, he is. Neither one of them need any more bull shit in their life."

"Who does?" Jensen and Jared stated in unison.

Steve turned to look at them but the door to the elevator slid open before he could say anything. Chris was standing there impatiently hitting the elevator call button.

"Going somewhere?" Steve asked as he stepped off, making Chris jump in surprise.

"Jesus Christ, give a man a heart attack why don't you. I was coming to get you. Gabe just woke up and they said we could see him in a few minutes after they get him settled."

"That's great!" Jensen exclaimed, edging out from behind Steve, watching as he took Chris' hand and squeezed it.

"I'm glad you're here," Chris told Jensen, not releasing Steve's hand. "If Gabriel remembers what happened, he's going to want to see for himself that you're okay."

"What do you mean remember?" Jared asked as Jensen leaned back into him for support.

"The doctor told us last night that sometimes with traumatic events like Gabriel's been through that there could be some retrograde amnesia. He might not remember events leading up to the attack, or the attack itself. He might not remember the day at all, or he might remember everything. They're just never sure how things like this will go," Steve explained.

"I'll stay as long as you need me to, you know that," Jensen assured him.

"We know, but we don't want you under any additional stress either." Chris cut in, glancing at Jared and trying to convey that Jensen's welfare was on their mind as well as Gabriel’s.

Jared inclined his head slightly, watching Chris relax minutely at the acknowledgment. They followed Steve back into the lounge to wait for the staff to come get them to let them know it was okay to visit. They were still waiting almost an hour later and Jensen could tell Steve was seriously considering sedating Chris when a nurse finally appeared and asked his friends to follow her. Jared had been massaging the stress out of Jensen's shoulders when Steve pushed open the door asking for Jensen.

"Is he all right?"

"I think so. He's just panicking, that's why it took them so long to get him stable. He was fighting the breathing tube, and then he had a panic attack when everything came back to him. We've told him you're okay, and I think he wants to believe us, but he needs to see you for himself."

Jensen nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to center himself before entering the room. He still wasn't prepared to see Gabriel lying still and pale, surrounded by equipment and attached to tubes and lines. Gabriel, while quiet, had always had a presence about him that caught your attention. Jensen approached his bed, careful not to jar anything, sat in the chair that Chris had stood from and pushed toward him.

"We're going to go keep Jared company while you talk," Chris told them, voice thick with poorly disguised emotion.

Jensen nodded, pulling his chair closer so Gabriel could see him without moving. The door slid shut and they were left staring at each other, both trying to catalogue injuries.

"Do you need anything?" Jensen asked.

"No, Chris took care of the water before he left." Gabriel looked Jensen over one more time before dropping his eyes to the blanket covering him. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

Jensen was afraid that this was going to happen. He knew how guilty he felt at all the problems Josh had made for Jared and he'd been worried that Gabriel was going to feel responsible for what his father had done.

"Gabriel, you didn't do anything wrong, and you definitely have nothing to feel sorry for. Steve told me you didn't even read the letter, that you've had no contact with him. Did you tell him where you were?"

"No," Gabe mumbled.

"Then what in the world would you have to be sorry for?"

"He hurt you, and the other people at the center have to be terrified. They’re supposed to be safe there."

"Yes, he hurt me, but he hurt you too. I'm sure everyone was scared, but the guys are already taking steps to make sure this doesn't happen again. There's no way you could have known he would find you, much less that he would do when he did."

"Is the baby okay?" Gabriel asked tentatively.

Jensen could see the fear shadowing his eyes and hated that he was the reason. "The baby's perfect. The OB checked us both out and said we were fine."

Gabriel's whole body relaxed and he closed his eyes. Jensen wasn't surprised when a few tears escaped past the fringe of his eyelashes.

"Hey, what we have to do now is get you well." Jensen squeezed Gabe's arm, seeking to distract him from the emotional turmoil he was in.

"What did the doctors say?" Gabe asked, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Didn't Chris or Steve tell you?"

"Um... I may have been a little emphatic about seeing you," Gabe confessed sheepishly.

Jensen shook his head but complied, figuring it was better just to get it over with as quickly as possible and deal with whatever fall out there was going to be. "He shot you twice, once in the chest and the other one actually hit your leg. Well high up on the hip anyway they said it was your side to begin with, but they were worried it'd hit an artery."

"That'd explain why I feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest."

"I'm sure the bandages don't help matters any."

"Where's my dad at?"

"Tom knocked him out, the police have him in custody."

"He didn't hurt anyone else did he?"

"No, everybody else is fine. He won't get away with what he did," Jensen promised.

"Do you think he'll get out this time?"

"Not if Jared has anything to do with it," Jensen assured, remembering how livid Jared had gotten when he'd finally gotten the whole story.

"He's mad isn't he?" Gabriel asked in a small voice.

"Yes, but he's not mad at you."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because he knows who to be mad at, and it's not you." Jensen reiterated.

"Okay," Gabe whispered.

They sat there quietly for several minutes, and Jensen had begun to think that Gabriel had fallen asleep until he asked his next question.

"So how long do they want to keep me for?"

"For as long as they need to," Chris answered, pushing the door all the way open so he could get in without knocking over the tray of food he was carrying.

"Wow, look at that you're getting breakfast in bed," Jensen joked.

"More like lunch, but they were doing rounds and I told them I'd take it in since you were talking."

Jensen looked over the dishes wrinkling his nose.

"What?" Gabriel asked.

"I'll bring you a cheeseburger when they say it's okay," Jensen promised.

Chris set the tray down and watched the look of distaste cross Gabriel's face. "Seriously!"

"You just woke up not long ago, not to mention you went through like eight hours of surgery. Did you really think they were going to give you anything solid?"

"But that's not even jello," Gabe whined.

"Nope, that's broth. Jello comes three days after you've kept broth down," Steve answered from where he'd snuck up behind them.

Gabriel snuck a pleading look at Jensen.

"Dude that's so not going to work," Jensen said laughing. "I'm not going to set back your recovery."

"Fine, but I want it on the record that this is just wrong," Gabe pouted.

"I'm going to let you eat and get some rest, me and Jared will be out in the waiting room."

"Your friend's out there," Steve said before he made it out the door.

"Sophia?"

"Yeah, and she brought lunch."

"Did you eat already?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah, before we came back," Chris acknowledged.

"Wait. What did you get to eat?" Gabriel asked, as he watched the broth dripping off his spoon with disdain.

"Don't you worry about it," Jensen heard Chris say as the door closed behind him.

Jensen found Jared sitting at the lounge table eating a huge sandwich. His stomach growled, alerting the man that he wasn't alone. He slid into the chair opposite, picking up a wax wrapped sandwich, moaning softly when he unwrapped thick bread covering turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato and onions, which he knew he'd pay dearly for later.

Jared was ten seconds from ripping the sandwich Jensen was having an intimate encounter with out of his hand and finding a janitor's closet in which to have an illicit tryst with his husband. Jensen looked up when he realized it was too quiet and a blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears.

"I'm hungry," Jensen mumbled around a mouthful of food.

Jared swallowed the bite of roast beef sandwich he'd forgotten he had in his mouth. "I can see that, but if you don't stop making those noises there's a very real possibility that we'll be arrested for lewd and indecent behavior in a public place."

Jensen's blush turned a little brighter, and he swallowed the rest of what he'd been chewing, not quite able to stop the little purr of happiness that having a full stomach caused.

Jared groaned and closed his eyes, trying to remember why an arrest for the afore mentioned behavior might make his mama cry, or beat the shit out of him.

"Sorry?" Jensen squeaked.

"You don't sound very sorry," Jared grumbled.

"I'll make it up to you," Jensen promised before taking another bite of his sandwich and making another obscene noise. He giggled when Jared thumped his head on the table, barely missing his sandwich in the process.

Chris and Steve found Jared on the couch with Jensen's head in his lap fast asleep.

"Gabriel finally stopped fighting the drugs. The nurse said he'd probably be out for several hours. Why don't you take him home?" Chris gestured to Jensen.

"Because he wanted to know what the doctor said when he did his rounds and then he wants to go by the center," Jared explained.

"He doesn't need to wear himself out like that." The worry was clear in his voice.

"I'll keep an eye on him. He's not going to sit at the house until he's sure things are good here and at the center," Jared responded, knowing the guys understood that just as much as he did.

"Well, don't let him stay long. He's already been through enough," Steve cautioned.

They talked quietly for an hour before Jensen stirred, groggily looking around, trying to remember where he was. Jared didn't think he could love the man any more than he already did, but Jensen, rumpled from sleep with crease lines on his cheek, hair standing at odd angles with his eyes still unfocused from sleep, proved that he indeed could.

"Is Gabriel okay?" Jensen cleared his throat, trying to clear some of the sleep clogging it.

"Gabriel's asleep, and the doctor seems happy with his progress so far. He didn't eat much but they said that was to be expected with him just waking up and the trauma he's experienced. They're going to keep him on the heavy duty painkillers for the next several days and then start to drop the dose a little at the time and see how he does." Steve filled them in.

"How long's he going to be here?" Jared asked.

"If all goes well then it's going to be at least two to three weeks, maybe longer. It depends on how he heals, his physical therapy, and then we've still got to address the psychological damage.

"Well, we'll be here if you need us you know that," Jensen reminded them.

"We do know that but we want you to take care of yourself too."

Jensen let them fuss for a little longer before he and Jared made their exit. Jared asked him if he wanted to drive, but he was happy to sit back and watch the rain that had started earlier in the day roll down the windowpane. Each drop chasing after another, the steady beat of the windshield wipers and the warm, spicy scent of Jared beside him made him relax and sigh with contentment.

Jared looked over at the sound, finding his husband slouched in his seat watching the rain flow down the window. Jensen looked as if he was boneless and a step away from falling asleep. He turned his attention back to the road, a small smile on his face the rest of the way to the center.

They spent the afternoon helping out wherever they were needed. Jared spent time with Tom working on the door and the hallway, while Jensen held an impromptu art class for anyone wanting to get their mind off the events of the past two days. Mike was subdued but kept the kids distracted and entertained, several of them were making Gabriel get well cards. Jensen knew that he'd love them. Ellen apparently cooked when she was stressed because neither one of them had ever seen so much food in their lives.

Sometime around the second hour, Jeff showed up. He helped Ellen put the food away, and to everyone's amazement, pulled her out of the kitchen and through the backdoor. The last anyone saw they were walking down the path hand in hand. Jensen was looking forward to teasing Chris about how easily Jeff managed to get on Ellen's good side, something Chris swore the woman didn't have. Jared was just happy Jeff had finally found someone that seemed to be an excellent match for him.

"Did you say anything to Jeff about going to the restaurant?" Jensen asked when Jared found him going over some paperwork that Steve had asked him to look over.

"No, I didn't get the chance, but I'll catch him sometime today." Jared sat down beside Jensen, scanning the papers he was engrossed in. "Is this the other wing you were talking about?"

"It's the plans for it," Jensen answered, never looking up from the schematics he was going over.

"Do you know what you're looking at?"

"Yeah, I took several architectural classes in case I needed something to support me while I tried to make a go of it with my painting."

"Well, that certainly hasn't been a problem."

Jensen smiled at his husband’s support. "It looks like they've got a good working plan, but I need to see what they have in mind just to make sure everything is covered. I need to find out how much the guy is telling them it's going to cost just to make sure they're not getting ripped of and I want to check out his reputation too."

"If you can get me his name, I can have Eric look into him for you," Jared offered.

"That'd be great. The guys aren't pushovers but it's not really in their realm of specialty either so it could happen."

"Never hurts to know who you're dealing with," Jared agreed.

"Oh really," Jensen answered, looking up finally and smiling. "So did Eric check me out?"

Jared blushed a little, "Just your occupation. When I found out about the showing I wanted to see what you did. I'm always open to investing so I figured I needed to do my homework."

Jensen contemplated what his husband had just said for a few minutes. "Why didn't you check out anything else?"

"Anything else I wanted to know I'd hoped you'd tell me when you were ready."

Jensen was always thrown off balance by how Jared seemed to know what he needed even when he sometimes wasn't sure himself.

"Thank you," he said softly knowing there was nothing else he could say to convey how important Jared's choice had been to him.

"You're welcome," Jared responded, leaning in and giving him a gentle kiss, lingering just a moment to lick along the seam of Jensen's lips.

They heard footsteps in the hallway a moment before there was a knock on the door. Jeff poked his head in a second later, grinning at the obvious moment he'd interrupted.

"Tom said you were up here working. I didn't know they were calling it that nowadays." He teased as he plopped down in the chair across from them.

"Hey! I am working," Jensen exclaimed, rattling the plans he was going over.

"Sure you were," Jeff grinned, looking over at Jared who was trying to hide the smirk behind a cup of juice he'd been nursing.

Jensen sighed when he followed Jeff's eyes, "You're not supposed to be encouraging him," he complained.

"Son, that boy doesn't need any encouragement. He's always got something going on," Jeff snickered.

Jensen rolled his eyes and shoved at Jared's shoulder but couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"So what did you need?" Jared asked.

"Thought I'd touch base with ya'll and see how things are going. I haven't seen you at the restaurant in at least a month."

"I know, man, it's been insane, with the movie and rebuilding the office. I've not even been with Jensen as much as I want to be."

"Jared, I told you I understand." Jensen frowned at his husband.

"Yes you did, but that doesn't mean it makes me any happier knowing I can't see you as much. However, we were talking about coming out there, maybe next week?"

Jensen nodded. "Sure, it's not like I'm doing anything right now except getting fatter."

"You're not fat you're pregnant!" Jared argued.

"Same difference," Jensen mumbled.

"Is not," Jared huffed. He looked over at Jeff who was trying his hardest not to laugh.

"So, is there a particular floor you want to be on this time?" Jeff asked, deciding to sidetrack the argument.

Jared looked over at Jensen for an answer.

"Sophia will eat anything. She loves food. I haven't seen Chad veto anything so I'm not sure if there's something he doesn't like."

Jared laughed. "Chad will eat whatever's not eating him, and if he thought he could win, he'd take that on too."

"Sounds like they're my kind of people," Jeff said, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't know maybe the Asian floor or the Middle Eastern one?" Jensen asked Jared.

"Let's go with the Asian this time."

"I'll get Sandy to book it for say Wednesday night?" Jeff queried.

"Yeah, that'll be good and we'll need it for four," Jared said.

"Any particular requests?" Jeff asked, pulling out his phone.

"Nah just a little out of the way so we can talk," Jared responded.

Jeff nodded as he waited for Sandy to answer the phone. He made the arrangements and then looked them over closely. "So you're both all right?"

"Yeah, we're good," Jared answered for them, glancing over at his husband. "Jensen has to get his stitches out next week but the doctor said they're both okay."

"Okay, well if you need anything, you know you can call me," Jeff told them standing up, "I'm going to take Ellen out tonight, she needs to get away for a little while."

"So how's that going?" Jensen asked, grinning at the color staining Jeff's cheeks.

"Well, you know," Jeff stalled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not getting any younger and she's a mighty fine woman, and for some ungodly reason, she seems to like me."

"Ellen's awesome no matter what Chris says and I think you all make a great couple," Jensen assured him, nudging Jared.

"Yeah, I think she's mighty lucky, and since you both like cooking, you'll always have something in common," Jared answered grinning.

Jensen rolled his eyes, but Jeff seemed to relax. He gave them a smile before disappearing out the door, promising to see them the next week.

They finished up an hour or so later and headed home. Jensen fell asleep less than five minutes into the ride, leaving Jared to think of all the things they needed to take care of in the coming months. The nursery was done and they'd gone shopping for baby accessories. He'd nearly had a heart attack when they walked into the store and saw all the different brands and styles of well... everything. There was still a ton of things they needed to obtain, but they'd made a start at least. The plans had been approved for his new office and the demolition crew had already leveled the burnt out structure and cleared the debris.

It had been a complete loss, what the fire hadn't destroyed the water had. So he'd started fresh, getting Jensen to help him design a new office, not only because of his expertise in color but because Jensen still felt guilty. He'd never brought the plans home, which was why he hadn't been aware that Jensen would have been able to read them. Instead, he'd leaned mostly on Jensen's knowledge of lighting and decorating to help him make this office more his own. While he wished Joshua hadn't been the moving force in a new office, he'd bought the other one as is, he was happy to share the excitement of designing a new one with his husband.

The movie had been filming for several months now and was almost complete. The last film he'd directed and produced was up for multiple awards and he needed to talk to Jensen about whether or not he'd be up to attending as it would be around his eight month. As they pulled into the driveway, Jensen sat up from his slouch, looking around blurrily.

"Are we home?"

"Yeah, how was your nap?"

"It was all right, but it's like I didn't even take one."

"Are you okay?" Jared asked as he watched his husband rub at his neck.

"I think I slept wrong. I've got a crick in my neck."

"Why don't you go on up and lay down, and I'll be up in just a few minutes."

"Will you lay down with me?"

Jared smiled. "That's my plan, just as soon as I help you with that crick."

Jared checked the messages, deleting the telemarketer and saving the couple that needed to be returned. There were a couple of hang ups that had him frowning but there was no way of knowing who it had been as the ID had been blocked. He completely forgotten about them when he pushed open the bedroom door and took in the sight of Jensen curled up on his bed... their bed now. Jared quickly undressed and slid under the covers, bringing their lower bodies flush but keeping his torso further back so he could massage the pain from Jensen's neck.

Jensen moaned as Jared's huge hand settled over the ache and started a slow deep massage, applying just the right amount of pressure to unknot the tensed muscles without being painful. He sighed as Jared moved to the back of his neck and along his shoulders never pausing until Jensen felt like he'd melted into the bed. He shivered when Jared placed an open mouth kiss where the knot had been and continued to work his way up the side of his neck.

Jared shifted until his whole body was aligned with the one in front of him. The obvious sign of his arousal pressing into the small of Jensen's back, he groaned when his husband shimmied back to get even closer, rubbing his back against Jared's leaking erection. His hand had come to rest on Jensen's hip, and he flexed his fingers along the bone as liquid fire washed through him. Jensen shifted again and reached back, grabbing Jared's hand and bringing it forward and down until both their fingers were wrapped around the silky hard length of his own need.

Jared kept his strokes slow and steady, captivated by the little whimpers and soft groans that escaped Jensen's lips. He hadn't even realized he was rocking his own hard length against Jensen's back until his husband reached back, grabbing his hip to keep them as close as possible.

"Jared please..." Jensen gasped, arching into the pressure.

"What do you need?" Jared whispered in his ear, licking along the shell and nipping at the lobe.

"I need you," Jensen whimpered.

"I want to see you this time," Jared requested, waiting for Jensen's nod before he helped him turn over and get comfortable.

The first time they'd had sex, and it had been drunk, fumbling sex on a hard floor in a cold cabin. He couldn't really regret it, since it'd not only given him a child but it had brought him Jensen as well. The second time they'd made love, and while it had been undoubtedly hot and at no time would Jared ever turn it down, the trauma of the day had been part of equation. This time though there were no deaths, no hospitals and injuries, now it was just Jensen and him. He had nothing but time and he planned to use as much as it took to have Jensen writhing under him and incoherent with need.

Jared straddled Jensen's legs, making sure not to put too much weight on them. Jensen had severe leg cramps over the last few weeks and Jared knew how sore they left the affected area even days later. He grabbed the extra pillow and helped Jensen situate it under his lower back and hips, waiting until Jensen smiled up at him and reached out, pulling him down for a kiss. Jared let Jensen lead, keeping the kiss slow and sweet until he felt his husband angling upwards looking for friction, only then did he deepen the kiss, exploring the ridges along the roof of his mouth, licking along his teeth and sucking Jensen's tongue into his own mouth.

Jared pulled back, nibbling on the plump red flesh, worrying it between his teeth as Jensen panted for air, the little puffs of breath fanning out across his face. He waited until Jensen had recovered a little and then continued his sensual assault, leaving light kisses along a cheek and down to his ear. Jared licked along the whirls until he slid his tongue inside, pinning Jensen to the bed when he started to thrash from the overstimulation. He continued until Jensen was pleading for him to stop, his breath ragged again. Jared smiled cataloging the reaction for future use.

Jensen moaned as he moved further down to the juncture where neck met shoulder. Jared alternated between scraping his teeth along the tendon there and sucking the warm flesh into his mouth, bringing the blood to the surface and marking his husband in a primal urge that he'd never felt the need to do before with anyone. He could feel the pearls of precome beading up and running down his stomach where Jensen's cock was trapped between their bodies, his own weeping over Jensen's thigh.

He refused to be rushed, even if his own body was begging for release. He licked a path down to a swollen nipple, the bud pebbled and ready for attention, which Jared was happy to supply. He sucked the small nub into his mouth, varying the suction at odd intervals so that his husband would not be able to anticipate the next bolt of pleasure that was zipping down his spine. Jared marveled at just how responsive Jensen was, the whimpers, and moans that slipped out earlier were a constant melody that spurred Jared on. He made sure to give the other small nub the same attention, biting down gently and then scrapping his teeth along the sensitized flesh.

Jensen was still too coherent in Jared's opinion, even though all he'd been doing the last several minutes was chanting Jared's name. Jared shifted his focus from Jensen's nipples to the rounded swell of skin stretched tight and firm over their baby. He switched to light kisses and barely there licks, making sure not to put any extra pressure against possible abused areas. The baby had been extremely active over the last several weeks, leaving Jensen sore to the touch and uncomfortable. Jared slid a little lower until he was at the small crater that would have been Jensen's belly button. The push of their child had made the little hole more of an indention, but Jared made sure to give it special attention even as the wet head of Jensen's cock bumped against his chin.

Jensen would have come off the bed if Jared hadn't been holding him in place when he licked a path from the tip to the base and sucked a one of Jensen's swollen sacks into his mouth. He ran his tongue over the skin feeling the full weight of Jensen's need. He switched sides, giving its twin the same careful loving that he'd given the first. When he was satisfied with his efforts he slid his tongue behind Jensen's heavy balls, running it over the smooth skin he found there.

Jensen was completely lost in sensation at the point that Jared moved back up, taking Jensen into his mouth and sucking hard. He continued to lick and suck until he felt Jensen start to shake and his balls draw up. Jared pulled off and wrapped his hand around the base of his husband’s cock, staving off the inevitable orgasm. Jensen sobbed his frustration and tried to shift his hips for the little bit of friction that would send him over the edge.

Jared grabbed the lube from the table and slicked his fingers up, sliding the tip of one around the puckered hole, feeling the muscle flex. Jensen pushed himself down, taking the finger that had been toying with him in, gasping at the intrusion and trying to get more. Jared kept a steady in and out rhythm, adding a second finger and starting to stretch and open Jensen to take him inside, the third quickly followed both of them well past the point of no return.

"Do you think you can hold off for just a little longer?" Jared asked against Jensen's ear as the slick head of his cock pushed slowly into his husband’s body.

Jensen looked up at him with glazed eyes. "Little longer," he slurred.

Jared moved back onto his knees lifting Jensen's legs, careful not to bend them and put pressure on his stomach. He slid the rest of the way in, his balls resting against Jensen's and held still, trying to will back his own need for release. When he had a small measure of control, he pulled almost all the way out and slowly slid back in. The pace didn't stay slow long, not only was Jensen using the headboard to impale himself on Jared's cock but Jared picked up the pace of his thrusts becoming more aggressive until they deteriorated completely.

Jensen came with a shout, shaking through his orgasm and shivering from overstimulation. Jensen's body clamping down around him shorted out his control and he was following Jensen into the black void of oblivion. His last thought for several minutes was to fall to the side so he didn't hurt Jensen or the baby. Jared came back to Jensen giggling beside him. He leaned up just enough to look over his husband’s shoulder, peering at him curiously.

"What's so funny?"

"We finally made it to a bed," Jensen told him, giggling again.

Jared dropped back down and grinned at the ceiling. "Yeah we did," he agreed.

A few minutes later, he crawled out of the bed to grab a washcloth. He quickly cleaned them both up before settling down behind Jensen. Jared pulled him against his chest, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in the nape of Jensen's neck, inhaling the warm, musky scent of his husband.

A week passed in a blink of an eye and Jensen was debating what to wear to their dinner with Sophia and Chad. They'd moved his personal items into their bedroom and he was still getting used to seeing his clothes hanging next to Jared's in the closet. Jared was on his way home from filming and Jensen wanted to be ready before he got home so he could help his husband get ready and they could make it to the restaurant before their friends. He knew Chad had been taking care of as much of the office rebuilding as he could to take some of the burden off Jared as well as fielding calls from reporters about the nominations from his previous movie.

He chose a pair of black pants and a dark green dress shirt that was cut to accommodate his expanding belly but still managed to look classy. He'd been sticking to jeans and T-shirts since the only thing on his calendar was painting at home when he felt the inspiration and holding classes at the center. When they went to visit Jared's parents, he would stick with his jeans but he'd usually wear a casual shirt so it was a little dressier. Jensen was just pulling on his shoes, leaving the laces untied until Jared could help him because ever since he'd hit his sixth month it had gotten harder to do them himself. He was either falling over because he couldn't reach them, or because he was dizzy from bending over too long.

Jensen heard the door open and close followed shortly by Jared calling his name and keys hitting the hall table. He raised his voice enough to be heard over Jared pounding up the steps letting him know he was in the bedroom. Seconds later, Jared was pushing open the door and coming to a complete halt, looking him over and letting out a low whistle. Jensen could feel the heat washing up his neck and burning along his cheeks.

"Stop that," Jensen mumbled.

"Why?" Jared asked, pulling Jensen to him and burying his nose in Jensen's neck. "You smell as good as you look."

"If I say you're insane you'll spend the next hour arguing with me so I'm just going to say thank you." Jensen shivered at the kiss he received on the side of his neck.

Jared smiled brightly. "You're learning."

"Hmmm," Jensen hummed. "What are you going to wear?"

"I thought maybe you could pick something out while I took a shower?" Jared asked hopefully.

"Okay," Jensen agreed. "I've already laid out your towels."

"Thanks." Jared pecked him on the cheek before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jensen stood in front of the closet looking over his choices. He finally settled on black pants and a dark burgundy dress shirt that he'd never seen Jared wear but was sure would look amazing.

He sat down on the bed and waited for Jared to finish in the shower, debating on whether he wanted to attempt to tie his shoes.

"Leave 'em, I'll do them for you." Jared's voice was muffled by the towel that he was using to dry his hair.

"How do you even know what I'm doing?"

"I can hear you thinking from here, and I know how much you hate that I have to tie your shoes. I like doing things for you, and it won't be for long, so stop sulking."

"Would you stop doing that," Jensen complained, rolling his eyes when Jared finally pulled the towel off his head and looked at him, grinning.

"What am I doing?" Jared asked innocently.

"You're doing that freaky mind reading thing again."

"No, I'm not. I just know you."

Jensen decided to let it go in favor of asking Jared a question he'd been meaning to ask most of the week. Sophia had been ecstatic about getting to go out and even more thrilled that she had an excuse to buy a new dress since she had to have something special to wear to such an impressive restaurant. Chad, on the other hand, had been a harder sell. He wasn't interested in dressing up and paying ten times as much for what he could get at the place around the corner from his house. Jared's response that he wasn't paying in the first place didn't appease him at all only made him scowl and tell Jared he didn't need to pay that much either because he had a husband to support and a baby on the way. Jensen was still snickering over Jared's shocked expression.

"You never did tell me how you got him to agree to come eat with us."

Jared pulled the shirt on and started to button it. "I told him you were going stir crazy and you needed to get out of the house. He was a little more accommodating when I told him you needed adult interaction that wasn't me."

"Well, whatever worked I guess," Jensen acknowledged, shaking his head.

"Who knew Chad could be such a money nazi," Jared said, sitting down on the bed and taking one of Jensen's legs and pulling it onto his lap so he could tie his husband's shoe.

"I think it's sweet that he's worried about us," Jensen shifted so Jared could get to his other shoe.

"I'll make sure I tell him you said that."

Jensen shrugged and grabbed his wallet. "So, he's just going to blame the hormones," he said, grinning.

"Cheater," Jared grumbled.

"Hey, I have to live with them. They should work in my favor sometimes."

Jared helped his husband off the bed before grabbing his own wallet and following Jensen out of the room. He relinquished the keys when Jensen asked to drive. It wasn't often he wanted to and Jared knew he'd be driving home anyway because once they ate Jensen would be ready for a nap. They talked about Jared's day and Jensen's visit to the hospital to see Gabriel, filling the time with easy conversation and pleasant periods of quiet. The ride across town was thankfully free of major traffic kinks and they arrived a little earlier than they expected which gave them a few minutes to visit with both Sandy and Jeff.

Sophia was the first to arrive, dressed in a sapphire blue dress that must have cost an entire paycheck, but she looked radiant and Jensen could practically see the excitement bubbling over as she was escorted to their table.

"This place is freaking amazing," she whispered in an awed voice.

"Yeah it is, but the food's even better than the ambiance," Jared told her.

"Are we waiting for someone else?" Sophia asked, noticing the other place setting.

"Yeah, Chad should be here shortly," Jensen answered.

"You better not be trying to set me up," Sophia whispered when Jared was occupied with ordering a selection of appetizers.

"I swear this has nothing to do with setting you up," Jensen promised.

Sandy appeared by Jared's side, grinning brightly at them, "Chad called. He said he'd be up in just a minute. He's trying to find a parking spot."

"I'm sure that's not all that he said," Jared responded.

"No, he was still going on when I hung up. You know I only listen to his first two sentences," Sandy informed him and then flounced off to check on the other guests on their floor.

"Is he an asshole?" Sophia asked, confused.

"No, he's just Chad," Jared answered shrugging. There really was no way to explain Chad to someone who didn't know him.

"He's a good guy," Jensen defended. "He's Jared's best friend and his assistant, but he's been working non-stop the last couple of months. Chad's been taking care of the details involved in rebuilding the office, of which there are a million, and keeping Jared straight at the set."

Conversation halted when Chad hurried to the table. "Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find a parking spot. I called. Did Sandy tell you I called? She hung up on me! Why does she always hang up on me?" Chad asked, out of breath and confused.

Jensen couldn't help it. He burst out laughing at his friend’s verbal diarrhea.

"What are you..." Chad stuttered to a halt, noticing Sophia for the first time, blushing bright red.

"Chad this is Sophia, Jensen's best friend. Sophia this is Chad, who you know is mine," Jared did the introductions.

Chad slid into the empty chair, nodding at Sophia, "I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh no, that can't be a good thing," Sophia said laughing.

Her comment seemed to break the awkward moment and the conversation flowed from there. The meal was wonderful and the company had each of them relaxing throughout the night. Jensen was pleased just to be with his friends and that Chad and Sophia seemed to get along great, which was a relief since they'd need to if they were going to be the baby's godparents. They were finishing up their desserts when Jared cleared his throat, catching all of their attention.

"We're happy that the two of you could come to dinner with us," Jared motioned to Jensen including him in the announcement. "I know you both thought it was to get Jensen out of the house, and that was part of it too, but not the most important part."

Jensen looked at Chad and Sophia, who were both waiting expectantly for an explanation.

"Jared and I would like very much for you both to honor us with being our baby's godparents," Jensen stated quietly, watching the couple in front of him.

Chad looked like he was stuck between panic and disbelief, while Sophia was dabbing at her eyes and giving them a watery smile. Jared held Jensen's hand while they waited for their friends to assimilate the responsibility they were being asked to take on.

"Are you serious?" Chad asked, finding his voice but still looking stunned.

"Of course we're serious," Jensen assured him.

Chad looked over at Sophia and then back at them, still trying to figure out what to say.

Sophia glanced over at him and then back to her friends. "Is there some kind of protocol for accepting?" she asked.

Jared grinned. "Not that I'm aware of."

"Well then I'll be honored," Sophia answered.

Everyone looked at Chad, waiting for his response.

"What? Like I'd turn it down. I'm just not sure you really want me. Isn't there someone else that would do a better job than me?"

"If you're that worried about doing a good job then I think we made the perfect choice," Jensen told him softly.

Chad swallowed the doubt. If they were willing to trust him then he'd just have to trust himself. "You know I'll do my best."

Jared nodded. "We're going to see our lawyer in a few days, and wanted to include it in our wills."

"I really wish you wouldn't talk like that," Sophia fussed. "I understand why and I think it's the responsible thing to do, but I hate even thinking about something happening to either one of you."

"I don't expect anything to happen, but then again who does?" Jared acknowledged.

They spent another half hour talking about what they were going to do over the next few weeks. The night had been a wonderful diversion and Jensen and Jared were both in a great mood. Jensen had needed the time away from the house and the worry while Jared could relax and not think about filming, and other projects. It also made them happy that they had made plans for the welfare of their baby in case something were to go very wrong. Unfortunately, Jensen knew that with Joshua still around it could be a real possibility. He had no idea that as they pulled into the driveway that as the gate swung shut, their every move was being scrutinized and catalogued for future use.

***************

Joshua sat back in the van he'd borrowed from the long term parking lot of the airport. He'd made sure the owner was going to be absent for at least a week. There was no way he could afford to rent a vehicle that could be traced back not only to him but where he'd been. His parents were becoming increasingly suspicious of his continued absences, and he knew he was going to have to make his move in the very near future. His time was running out and so was his patience.


	14. Chapter 14

Jensen's seventh month rolled around and the doctor put him on bed rest until his next visit two weeks later. Needless to say, he was not a happy camper. Jared was spending more and more time away with the movie in the last stages and his office was rolling along to being rebuilt so Jensen was lonely. He wasn't allowed to paint since, not only did he forget to eat, but he couldn't stand or sit upright for long periods of time. The doctor wasn't happy about his blood pressure, and his hands and feet had started swelling as well.

Cassandra came over every day now to cook, clean, and generally keep him company for a few hours. He'd had sporadic visits from Sophia, Chad, and Tom had made it over in place of Chris and Steve, who were juggling the center as well as the shooting fallout. Gabriel had been out of the hospital for a week, but he had daily therapy appointments, both physical and psychological. He talked to them on the phone though and when Gabriel found out he was just as confined as him, had started messaging him on the computer until one of them fell asleep in the middle. To date, it was Gabriel five times and Jensen three.

So he was a little surprised when Jared pushed open the door to the kitchen, catching him off the couch where he was supposed to be lying.

"I just went to the bathroom, and I wanted some orange juice," Jensen explained, hoping to stall Jared's protests.

"Cassandra just left. Why didn't you get her to grab you something or did you wait until she left on purpose?" Jared asked, watching his stubborn husband for signs of shifty behavior.

Jensen sighed. He'd been so good most of the time, but he couldn't take the laying down constantly. He only ever got up to go to the bathroom and every so often would make a detour to the kitchen on his way back. Jensen knew Jared was just worried about him and the baby, but seriously, he was going to go insane. He was surprised that Jared hadn't introduced him to a bed pan yet, but figured his husband had a feeling he'd be wearing it if he had.

Jensen scowled. "No, I didn't wait for Cass to leave, I just have to use the bathroom every ten minutes."

"Well, I'm home now. Why don't you go lay down and I'll get you the juice."

Jensen heaved a sigh, setting the cup on the counter. "Fine."

Jared grinned as Jensen shuffled out of the kitchen and headed for the living room, mumbling under his breath. He followed his grumpy husband a minute later, placing the glass on the table where Jensen could reach it. "How do you get away with calling her Cass by the way? I tried once and she threatened to take my head off."

Jensen finished taking the swallow of juice he'd been in the process of downing before he answered. "Maybe she likes me better?"

Jared rolled his eyes, "I think she's just buttering you up for something."

"You think so?" Jensen asked, curiosity piqued.

"Maybe."

"So why are you home early?" Jensen finished his orange juice while he was waiting for Jared to answer.

"Well, I've been thinking about something for awhile, and I'd typically ask you about such a large decision, but I wanted it to be a surprise. Now, though, I'm worried you might not like it." Jared's voice was a little nervous and he kept picking at invisible lint on his pants.

Jensen wasn't all to keen on surprises because he'd had too many unpleasant ones. He knew, though, that anything Jared had done wouldn't be hurtful and would undoubtedly be something to try and make him happy and more comfortable.

"Jared just tell me what it is. You're over thinking again."

"I think it'd be better if I showed you," Jared answered sheepishly.

"Okay, do I need to come with you?"

"No, I'll bring it to you."

Jensen relaxed into the cushion as Jared disappeared back the way he'd come. A couple of minutes later, Jensen heard the kitchen door shut again and Jared walking his way. He decided not to look until Jared had made his way into the living room. When he did finally glance up, Jared was toting a large basket that he could barely wrap his arms around. Jensen looked on in confusion as Jared gently sat the basket on the floor by the sofa and for the first time Jensen could actually see what was hiding in its depths.

Two small brown puppies were curled around each other, sleeping the sleep of oblivion. One had floppy ears and was a little bigger than the other puppy that had little pointed ears and was so cute there was no way you couldn't fall in love with it, with them both, really. Jensen reached out, running a finger over the top of one of the little guys heads, making sure to do the same with the other puppy.

"Do they have names?" Jensen asked, not taking his eyes off the gentle up and down motion of the puppies breathing.

"The boy is Harley and the little girl is Sadie."

Jensen finally tore his gaze away from the basket and its occupants. "Where did you get them?"

"The pet shop downtown. You know the one I went in while you were getting art supplies?"

"Oh." Jensen vaguely remembered the shop Jared was talking about.

"Why did you get them now?"

"I talked to the owner, he helps the shelter by putting a few puppies and kittens in the shop to try and adopt them. He also has a computer set up so folks can look through the shelter's pictures of animals looking for homes. I guess I've been wanting to get one for awhile, but I'd always been traveling and didn't think it was fair to an animal. Now that I'm going to be home the majority of the time I thought it'd be a great opportunity. I also thought they could keep you company during the day."

"Does this mean I get to walk them?" Jensen asked slyly.

"When the doctor lets you up. Until then, there's a kid down the street who's looking to do some work that doesn't require him to be sixteen."

"How old is he?"

"Alex is fourteen, and he loves animals so it won't even feel like a job to him."

"Did you bring home everything they need?"

"Yeah, I had them get it all together for me before I went to pick them up," Jared answered, looking at Jensen and trying to determine what his husband thought about the puppies. "You're not mad are you?" He finally asked when he couldn't figure it out.

"No, why would I be mad? They're adorable and you've already figured out what to do about walking them when I can't."

"Well, yeah, but it's still a pretty big responsibility, something I'd usually discuss with you. I just wasn't sure if it was something you'd welcome right now."

"We've got a couple of months before the baby comes. I'm sure we can get a routine rolling by then," Jensen assured him.

Jared breathed a sigh of relief. He'd thought Jensen would love the surprise but there had been that little bit of doubt. He was happy that it had gone well because there was no way he could give the puppies back, and from the look on Jensen's face, neither could he.

Jared left the puppies with Jensen and started bringing in all the supplies they needed. There were dishes, and puppy pads, blankets, another basket, treats, bones and toys galore. Jensen started laughing when he dragged the kennel in.

"What's that for?"

"Time out," Jared answered, out of breath.

"Puppies have time out?"

"They chew, and misbehave so they have to have a time out," Jared answered seriously.

Jensen started laughing, which woke the puppies. He got his first look at them, falling a little more in love at the big brown eyes staring back at him. The little girl crawled out of the basket and stood on her hind legs, bracing her front paws on the couch cushion waiting for Jensen to pick her up. When he did as she wished, she curled up on his lap and watched her brother trip his way out of the basket and in his excitement run into the table leg.

Jared rolled his eyes and picked up the dazed puppy. "You're such a goober. " He rubbed the sore spot on the puppy's head gently.

Jensen was trying not to laugh, but he lost the battle shortly after looking down to find Sadie with a paw over her nose as if she was embarrassed by her brother’s antics.

"Where are we going to keep them?" Jensen asked as he rubbed the soft fur along Sadie’s back.

"I was thinking down here in the kitchen. I got a gate, but I think they might be scared down here alone."

Jensen tried to bite back his grin at the worry in Jared's voice. "We could put them in my old room. You'd have to make sure there's nothing in there they could chew on, but that will put them a little closer," he suggested.

Jared thought about it for a minute and then handed Harley over so he could go take a look. He came back almost a half an hour later to grab both the baskets and tote them up the steps.

Jensen watched him bump his way up the stairs, amused at the absolute seriousness his husband was exuding over making sure the puppies had the perfect setup. He was pretty sure as long as they had full bellies and someone to play with they didn't really care, but Jared wasn't going to be satisfied until he had it the way he wanted it.

Jared made another trip up the stairs with the blankets and some of the toys before he finally settled on the couch with Jensen to pet the puppies as they snuggled up together.

Jared woke up to a stiff neck, numb arm and a suspicious wet spot soaking through his pants and onto his knee. He lifted his head, twisting his neck carefully and trying to relieve the pain. Glancing to the side explained why he couldn't feel his arm. Jensen had fallen asleep with Jared's arm trapped under his husband's head. He was also relieved to discover the wet spot was puppy drool and not something more disgusting. Jared slid his arm from under Jensen and settled his husband in a more comfortable position, careful not to wake him because he knew Jensen had been having more and more trouble sleeping at night and the effects were starting to show.

Jared moved the puppies back into their baskets and stood up, stretching cramped muscles, joints popping in protest at the movement. He quietly made his way to the kitchen to put one off Cassandra's premade meals in the oven, hoping to entice Jensen to eat a little more than he had been recently. The doctor didn't seem overly concerned about the change in Jensen's appetite, explaining there was becoming less and less room for the baby and a full stomach to occupy. He'd suggested instead of three regular size meals, Jensen try five small meals to keep him more comfortable after eating and still be able to get the required nutrients.

Jared trusted the doctor but he was still worried at how little of an appetite Jensen had. He set about getting plates and utensils while the meat and vegetable packets were cooking, trying to be quiet so as not to wake his husband any sooner than he had to. Jared was still humbled by Jensen's pregnancy, not only by the miracle of it, but that he was going to have a family of his own to love and cherish. He'd watched his husband at the center working with the painting class, the man was a natural teacher, offering help when needed, but instinctively knowing when help wasn't wanted and the need to figure it out alone was what would make the student feel accomplishment and pride.

He knew Jensen would be a wonderful father. There had never been a doubt in his mind but the day he found Jensen sitting at the little table surrounded by kids under the age of five coloring pictures with them as if he wasn't a rising star in the art community brought it home even more. Jensen had caught him staring, blushing and gracing him with a sheepish grin and a shrug before he went back to coloring, the little boy beside him offering up a bright blue crayon for his husband to use.

*********

Jensen had been dozing off and on, enjoying the warm feel of Jared's body next to his. The puppies were curled up across their laps and the gentle creaking of the ceiling fan had lulled them into sleep. He knew Jared was worried about him, the lack of sleep and appetite, well, it wasn't really the lack of appetite, he was hungry all the time, but he felt so bad after he ate it just didn't seem worth it. However, he'd taken the doctors advice and started eating less but more frequently, and it seemed to be helping. Jensen didn't know how to explain why he couldn't sleep, though, even when he could get comfortable, all his mind seem to do was swirl with 'what if' scenarios. He worried about the birth, the baby, if he would be a good dad, and way back in the deep recess of his brain where he'd tried to bury it, he worried that Joshua was going to haunt him forever, even if they could get him out of their lives.

He was relieved that the only thing he didn't seem to worry about were his painting classes at the center. Jensen had been showing a young boy how to mix his paints properly when he'd felt the uneasy sensation of someone watching him. He'd kept working with the boy until he was sure the teenager understood the technique. He straightened up, his hands going to his lower back out of habit to ease the strain in the burdened muscles. Jensen glanced around the room under the guise of making sure no one needed any help, and he found the source of his unease. Sitting on a chair in the corner was a young woman who abruptly looked down when their eyes met.

Jensen's stomach clenched and his heart ached. He knew that look all to well, the lowered eyes, hunched shoulders, trying to make yourself as small as possible to blend into the background so maybe this time you wouldn't get hit. Approaching the girl wasn't an option, not yet at least, her left arm was in a cast and the swelling in one eye was just starting to recede, there were bruises littering her arms and there was a matching necklace of fingerprints around her neck. Jensen knew it was too soon, she was still trying to come to grips with what her life had become and the terror that she had finally left her abuser.

Chris had told him her name was Natalie, that they'd picked her up after the E.R. doctor had called them. Jake was new to the hospital and was ready to show the boyfriend what would happen to him if he'd pick on someone his own size. Thankfully, one of the nurses had stepped in and given him the number to the center and while Natalie was getting her cast put on he'd made the call. Chris had told him Jake had been a little wary about letting him see the girl but the nurse that had given him the number assured him that it was the right thing to do.

It had taken Chris little more than an hour to convince Natalie that she deserved something much better than what she was living with. Jake had led them out another entrance and had called security to remove the boyfriend when he caused a huge scene after realizing his girlfriend had ditched him. Steve had gone to their apartment with a list of items and a police escort to pick up only to find that the boyfriend had torn, broken or burnt almost everything that had he'd been there to retrieve. The police had arrested him on attempted assault charges when the idiot had tried to throw a punch at Steve, and then tacked on destruction of personal property just for the fun of it.

Jensen had listened to the background sadly. He knew the story was the same for most everyone here, only the details changing, and it made him sick to his stomach that there were other people that had been through the same things he had. So he'd waited, and it had taken weeks. He had held each class as he usually did, watching as Natalie seemed to relax a little more each time. She would always leave just a few minutes before class was over so there wasn't an opportunity for her to be spoken with by him or anyone else in the class.

He would stay after class as he had been doing for the last two weeks, working on a painting to go in the foyer to replace the mirror that had shattered. Jensen sensed that Natalie had made a reappearance but he didn't want to scare her away so he continued with what he'd been doing. Jensen was just getting ready to call it a day when a whispered word caught his attention. He'd turned around slowly so as not to make her bolt.

"I'm using water based oils, and I've been working with water colors too." Jensen answered Natalie's question. "I used the other type of oils and paints with the strong chemical bases before," he offered as he waved a hand at his belly.

Jensen breathed a little sigh of relief when Natalie's lips quirked into a ghost of a smile. "When are you due?" she asked tentatively.

"September 27th."

Natalie nodded at the information, her eyes straying back to the painting. It was a perfect reproduction of what the field beside the house looked like during the spring. The wildflowers dotted the tall waving grass with splashes of colors and the trees cast dappled light along the edges of the field making you think of checked clothes and wicker picnic baskets. "You're really good," Natalie told him quietly.

"Thank you. Do you paint?" he asked, hoping it wouldn't send her running.

She nodded, not meeting his eyes. "I've got another year of school."

"Are you planning on going back?" Jensen asked, already sure of how her story had played out. It wouldn't be much different than his, other than he'd managed to finish school before Joshua had shown his true colors.

"I'm not sure I can. I was there on a scholarship, but since I missed the last two semesters, they pulled it."

Jensen knew not to offer staid platitudes and useless words. He simply nodded his head and turned back to the painting. He felt like there was something missing, but he couldn't figure out what it was as tired as he'd become. As he started cleaning up his brushes, Jensen knew Natalie was still hovering in the background, but he was waiting for her to take the next step.

"Are you finished with this one?" She asked, finally breaking the silence that had descended as Jensen cleaned up.

"No, there's a piece missing, but I'm too tired to see it right now," he answered, watching as she tilted her head and examined it for another minute.

"Will you be back this week?" Natalie asked, absently scratching at her arm above the cast.

"I'll be back on Wednesday, unless the doctor tells me otherwise," he rubbed a hand across his stomach.

"Okay," she acknowledged, slipping out the door quietly when Jensen turned to get his jacket.

She'd come to the next class, watching as he finished the painting and placed his signature hidden among the wildflowers. Jensen had noticed over the last few days that a pillow had appeared in his chair, and that there was always a glass of cold milk or juice sitting on the small table beside his easel. Natalie still slipped out the vast majority of the time before classes were over, but sometimes she'd stay and watch as he worked on a piece. He’d confided in her that he was worried about his next doctor's appointment because the fatigue was starting to wear on him, and he'd been having more and more headaches of late.

Jensen had been pleased and a little surprised when Natalie offered to fill in if he needed her to. He thought he might have to ask, and he worried that it was something she wasn't ready to do at this stage of her recovery, both physical and emotional. He was brought out of his musing by the beeping of the oven going off. He heard muttered cursing coming from the kitchen followed by the thump and clatter of the oven and pan being set on the counter.

He was just uncurling from the couch when Jared stuck his head into the room, cringing at the realization that the buzzer had woken Jensen.

"Sorry, I thought I could get it before it went off, but I was getting the dishes down."

"It's okay, I was already awake. I really need to pee though," Jensen grumbled, trying to wiggle his way off the couch.

Jared waited a couple of seconds before he crossed the room and offered his hand for Jensen to use. He'd learned to wait for a beat or two before trying to help because a pregnant Jensen could be a very cranky Jensen. Jared figured his husband actually tolerated everyone's hovering pretty well since he was sure if he'd been the one carrying their child someone would have been researching tranquilizer usage on pregnant people to keep him nice and pliant.

Jensen accepted the help and Jared watched him make his way to the downstairs bathroom. His husband had developed a sort of swaying to his gait, not really what he'd heard classified as the pregnant waddle but more an enhanced roll to his hips. Jared had a hard time trying to decide if it was adorable or just fucking hot and was happy he didn't have to come up with an answer any time soon. He shook himself out of he reverie and went back to the kitchen to finish getting their supper together.

He had just finished putting everything onto a tray when he heard the distinct sound of furniture being shifted.

"I know you're not moving the table." Jared raised his voice to be heard from the kitchen.

"Fine," Jensen's put upon huff reaching all the way into the kitchen.

Jared rolled his eyes as he picked up the tray and walked into the living room, pinning Jensen with glare. "You know you're not supposed to do anything, which means no rearranging the furniture."

"I was sliding the table over, not slinging it over my shoulder," Jensen grouched.

"Yet you're not supposed to be doing that either," Jared responded as he set the tray down and pushed the table Jensen had been moving closer to the couch so they could both reach their food. "Now stop misbehaving or I'm going to tell the doctor you've not been following his orders."

Jensen decided to do what all mature adults did when they didn't get their way. He stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.

Jared raised an eyebrow in his best Vulcan impersonation. "Have you talked to Sophia today?"

"For a few minutes this afternoon, but she had a meeting to go to."

"What kind of meeting?"

"I think it's another bank, she didn't really say."

"A bank?"

"Yeah, she's been trying to find one that will do a small business loan," Jensen answered, taking a sip of drink.

"What exactly does she want to open? Something with food I'm guessing," Jared asked.

"She wants to do a kind of bakery/sandwich shop. You know, someplace you can sit and relax and have lunch or order a cupcake to eat and a cake to go."

"She's not having any luck?"

"No, not really. Every bank she's gone to tells her she doesn't have enough business experience. I mean, I realize she didn't get a degree in finance, but she's not stupid, she's done her research," Jensen grumbled, feeling the need to defend his friend.

"I'm sure she has, but most banks aren't really big on taking leaps of faith," Jared pointed out.

"Stupid stuffed shirts, bet they can't even start their day unless they kick a puppy and drown a cat," Jensen muttered.

Jared almost choked on the forkful of carrots he'd just shoveled into his mouth. The ensuing coughing spell managed to wake both puppies and had Jensen patting him rather hard on the back. When he caught his breath, he was able to hear the stifled laughter coming from his husband.

"So not funny," he rasped.

"I'm sorry," Jensen snorted, trying to stop laughing.

Jared watched him balefully as he tried to regain his composure. He glanced down to find Harley trying to find a way onto the couch, his nose twitching at the smell of their food while Sadie looked on with a decidedly disgusted expression aimed at the other puppy.

Jared moved the puppy back onto all four paws. "No you can't have table food. It's not good for you."

Harley let out a pathetic little whine that had Jensen reaching for a small piece of beef.

"Don't even think about it," Jared fussed reaching out and gently popping Jensen's hand.

"But look at him, he's all sad and pitiful looking," Jensen pouted, his lip poked out.

Jared rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with him except he's already got you wrapped around his little paw."

"No, he doesn't."

"Oh, he so does and she does too." Jared nodded at Sadie whom Jensen had picked up and was scratching behind her ears.

Jensen ignored him, continuing to rub Sadie. Jared finished eating and moved the table away from the couch before placing Harley beside his husband and taking their dishes back to the kitchen, much to the forlorn expression on the displeased puppy's face.

Once the puppies had been fed and taken for their walk, they took them up to Jensen's old room, leaving them to explore before settling down for the night. They had both been asleep when the outside alarm jerked them awake. Jared didn't think twice before going to the closet and removing the gun that he kept on the top shelf.

"You stay here," Jared told a wide eyed Jensen.

"The hell I am!"

"The hell you will," Jared growled. "The doctor has you on bed rest and you’re seven months pregnant. You. Are. Not. Going down those steps."

He was gone before Jensen could even form a reply. He knew Jared was right but it didn't make him any happier about the situation. He grabbed his cell and made his way down the hall and into his old room where the puppies were standing by the door whining and yipping. Fifteen tense minutes later his cell rang, Jared told him he was on his way back to the house, and Jensen told him he was with the puppies.

Jared pushed the door open and smiled at the scene in front of him. Jensen was laying on the bed with both puppies vying for his attention Sadie was licking his cheek, and Harley was trying to beat him to death with his tail.

Jensen knew Jared was watching, but he was still a little put out by their disagreement, so he kept playing with the puppies for a few more minutes before acknowledging his husband’s presence.

"What was it?" Jensen asked as he put his hand up to keep Sadie from licking him in the mouth.

"A tree branch fell across one of the sensors, I think," Jared answered as he sat on the edge of the bed where he was immediately accosted by a wriggling ball of fur.

"Doesn't Martino check for things like that?" Jensen knew Martino was beyond awesome at what he did so for tree limbs to just start falling seemed odd.

"Yeah, but we had that storm a couple of days ago, and he hasn't had chance to come by yet so...." Jared trailed off. He didn't think it was caused by the storm either, but he wanted Martino's opinion first and he didn't want Jensen worrying about it until then.

"Did you call the security service and let them know it was a false alarm?"

"Yep, but the police were already at the front gate by the time I found out what had caused it."

"What did they say?"

"Just told me if I had any problems to give them a call and to make sure the service came and checked the sensor the branch hit. I told them I'd already talked to them, and they were going to send someone out tomorrow afternoon."

"Jared?"

"Yeah."

"Do you usually keep your gun on the top shelf of your closet?" Jensen asked worried about what could happen when the baby was old enough to explore.

"No, I usually keep it in the safe, but we're the only two people in the house right now and with all the issues we've been having lately I wanted to be able to get to it quick."

Jensen nodded his head in understanding and gently moved Sadie to the floor so he could sit up. Jared set Harley down with his sister, standing up so Jensen could swing his feet over the side of the bed then he waited for his husband to stand and tiredly make his way from the room and down the hall to their bedroom. He trailed behind, trying to decide how to start the conversation he knew they needed to have, it turned out he didn't have to Jensen started for him.

"I didn't like you going outside by yourself," Jensen said quietly as he pulled his clothes off and slid back into bed, resting his back against the headboard as he watched Jared put the gun away.

Jared pulled his shirt off but stopped and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I know you didn't and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stand by and let you do something that could hurt you or the baby."

Jensen realized Jared didn't think he'd intentionally hurt the baby, but it still bothered him that he would think he'd do it unintentionally either. "I would have stopped before I got outside, it was just a shock when the alarm went off and you grabbed the gun."

Jared slid up the bed until he was in front of his husband. "And it's an automatic reaction to want to keep you both safe, so as much as this makes me sound like a Neanderthal if I have to fucking lock you in the house to do that then I will."

Jensen studied him, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, "You do have the five-head for it."

Jared scowled and pinched the closest piece of flesh, which happened to be a thigh. "Should I remind you of how things turned out the last time you and Jeff thought that was funny?"

"No," Jensen squeaked, remembering the campaign of attacks Jared had aimed at them when they were least expecting it. They'd been dyed the colors of the rainbow before Mrs. Padalecki had halted his reign of terror. He still couldn't figure out how Jared had found his stash of lube, shuddering when he remembered trying to hide the fact that his dick was purple. Gym showers for two weeks had been humiliating. Jeff hadn't faired any better, although Jensen had thought bright blue hair was by far better than the indignity he'd suffered.

"Then you best behave or I'm going to find those pictures. I'm sure Chris and Steve would appreciate the true art form a human body can be."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would," Jared smirked at Jensen's horrified expression. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Jensen's nose before he stood up to finish undressing.

Jensen watched his husband disappear into the bathroom, the strong line of Jared's back tapering into a slim waist and down into an ass that would make anybody want to reach out and grab it made him whimper. Jared reappeared and slid into the bed. Noticing Jensen's flushed face, he started to worry until he glanced down and realized Jensen was a little more than turned on. Jensen's color deepened as he watched Jared discover his dilemma.

"You know what the doctor said," Jared whispered as he slid further down the bed, looking up to see Jensen watching his every move.

"I know," Jensen whispered back, swallowing thickly. He'd already been upset at the thought of bed rest when the doctor told them no sex as well.

His next appointment wasn't for another two days, and he felt like he was going to explode. Jensen's breath hitched when Jared slid between his legs, his husband was laying on his stomach propped up on his elbows watching him with dark eyes. His cock throbbed at the hot breath filtering through the thin sheet that covered him.

Jared watched as his husband's eyes dilated further and were swallowed up by a black void except for a thin ring of green. Jensen's long lashes fell to cover them when Jared breathed a long slow exhale over the heated flesh pressing outward against the sheet. He reached up and slowly slid the sheet over the swell of their child, letting the sheet pool around Jensen's hips and over the turgid shaft hiding beneath.

"I think I can help you with this," Jared rasped, the vibrations of speech in his chest massaging the base of Jensen's cock. "If you promise to stay still and let me do all the work."

He took Jensen's moan as acceptance and lowered his head over the sheet. His mouth had been watering with anticipation since he'd slid between Jensen's legs. He took the head gently between his teeth, soaking the sheet with saliva and tonguing over and around the ridge, the sheet adding an extra layer of sensation. Jensen's hands came to rest on his head, his fingers clenching into fistfuls of hair, making Jared groan at the sharp little spikes of pain that went straight to his dick and making it leak against the sheets.

Jared smiled as a whine escaped Jensen when he pulled off. He slowly pulled the sheet down, the soaked material cooling and slithering along heated flesh. Jensen shivered under him, goose bumps rising along his skin.

"Jared.... please," Jensen begged, arching up trying to find some relief.

"I'm here, let me take care of you," Jared murmured, looking up at the flushed and needy face of his husband.

Jensen nodded, flexing his hands in Jared's hair. Jared returned his attention to the hard column of flesh weeping for attention. He licked over the head, collecting the pre-come with his tongue, rolling it into his mouth and reveling at the taste. He lingered over the head for a minute more, paying attention to the slit, dipping his tongue in and teasing the edges with his teeth. Jared moved back, pulling Jensen down a little so he had better access to his objective.

He rubbed his cheek across the satiny skin, the musky scent of arousal inflaming him further. He slid his mouth down to the base, and slowly licked his way back up, tongue twisting around the cock buried in his mouth and what felt like halfway down his throat. Jared couldn't stop, the feel of hard hot flesh sliding over his lips, past his teeth, and along the roof of his mouth had his throat convulsing around the head lodged deep in the back of his throat.

He made use of the angle, running his hand up Jensen's stomach and chest until he found the plump swell of his lower lip. Jensen's tongue ran along his finger, slicking it with spit and nibbling on the tip. Jared moaned, pulling his hand away and pushing it back past Jensen's balls and over the tight ring of muscle. He rubbed across the tender flesh, mesmerized by the way it seemed to grab at his finger and used his other hand to gently roll the heavy balls filled with the need to release, loving how Jensen jerked and swore as he tried not to get too worked up.

Jared could hear Jensen chanting his name and please, the sounds driving him to fulfill the need both he and Jensen were being driven by. He sunk all the way down, his nose buried in strawberry blonde curls, and sealed his mouth around the base as he slid the tip of his finger into the hot, clenching hole, crooking his finger to add a little sting to every other sensation that was cascading through the taught muscles under him. He felt the tremors start in Jensen's body at the same time his husband screamed, his come pouring out and almost choking Jared. He pulled back, catching the last few spurt with his tongue, making sure Jensen saw him lick his lips clean.

Jensen threw his arm over his eyes even as his cock twitched. "You're going to kill me."

Jared grinned before going up on his knees and grabbing his neglected dick. Jensen's arm came down at the little grunts and pants that Jared couldn't keep in. He stared intranced as Jared stripped his cock, rolling the precome down his shaft and working himself hard and fast. Jared didn't think he could get any more turned on, but watching Jensen watch him fuck his fist proved him wrong. Jensen slid a finger through the puddle that had dripped off Jared's cock and onto the round bump of his belly, pushing his finger over his lips and into his mouth was Jared's undoing. He came with a howl, come spilling over the Jensen's stomach and sliding down to pool along the crease made between leg and belly. He fell forward, catching himself with one hand even as he tightened his fingers and worked himself through the aftershocks.

Jensen moaned around the finger he was still sucking on. Jared's hot release bathing his stomach and trailing down the sides of his hypersensitive flesh was enough to make his exhausted body twitch with want. Jared obviously knew what was going through his mind because his husband groaned and grabbed the finger he was sucking on, removing it from his mouth and bringing it to his own to kiss the tip.

"You're supposed to be all relaxed and sleepy," Jared fussed.

"I am." Jensen assured, "doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about it."

"Well stop. The doctor would probably have my balls if he knew we cheated."

"Sorry, he can't have those. He'll have to play with his own," Jensen giggled at Jared's exaggerated eye roll.

Jared pulled himself to his feet and went to grab a towel to cleanup with. He returned with a warm cloth and another towel for Jensen. He couldn't help the smile that broke across his face when he was confronted with the blissed out picture his husband presented. Jensen was laying where he'd left him, his hair was sticking up in fifty different directions, his legs were splayed and his arms were flopped by his side like the muscles had just stopped working and there was no moving them from their position. His eyes were closed but he obviously could feel himself being watched because Jensen’s nose crinkled and his eyes fluttered open.

"This is getting a little bit icky," he complained, jutting his chin towards the cooling come on his stomach.

Jared held up the warmth cloth, advancing on his sleepy husband. He took his time wiping off the remnants of his release, not sure why the thought of marking Jensen this way would be as damn powerful as it seemed to be to him. He looked up to a small smirk on Jensen's face and blushed. Obviously, his husband knew exactly what he was thinking. Once he had Jensen washed and dried, he placed a gently kiss on the belly button that was no longer an inny or an outy.

Jared tossed the towel and cloth into the bathroom, he gave Jensen's stomach one more kiss before he turned the lamp off and slid between the sheet. Jensen had gotten his body pillow situated and was wiggling his way into a comfortable position, so Jared waited until his husband sighed with contentment, shifting closer until he could wrap himself around his warm body. He placed his palm over their child and smiled when the baby kicked his hand followed swiftly by a knee. Jared rubbed the spot, waiting for the baby to shift, knowing it hurt Jensen when sharp little elbows and knees poked at him.

"I love you," Jared whispered, smiling when Jensen's garbled 'love you' reached him.

**********************************************

The next morning brought Martino and the security company to their door. Jared met them downstairs hoping Jensen would be able to get a few more hours of sleep. He'd called Chad sometime around six when Jensen had gotten up to go to the bathroom, letting him know he'd be working from home today and the reason why. Chad had wanted to come out himself but Jared promised to call him when he knew something. Chad relented only because he'd be more helpful taking over some of the projects they'd had planned for the day.

Martino confirmed what he'd suspected. The limb had been cut, sawed to be exact. The security consultant was clearly concerned as the front panel of the security system both in the front and in the back had been pried open. Jared could see where someone had tried to figure out which wire went to the main alert system and which ones were decoys.

"It looks like he gave up when he couldn't decide between the red or the black wire," the security tech mumbled as he tapped in an order on his computer.

"Which wire is it?" Jared asked, curious himself.

The tech looked up grinning. "It's none of them. The actual wire is embedded in the back part of the panel, and if you don't know what you're looking for, you're not going to be able to open it much less find it."

"That's why you pay them the big bucks." Martino clapped him on the back as he walked past.

Jared sighed, pulling out his phone and dialing Detective Riley's number. He left a message when it went to voice mail and followed the tech to the back panel to see if it was in the same shape.

"See, here it looks like he got a little braver. No one to really see him except the fish since the beach is private." The tech motioned to the wires where the red one was snipped on the side. "He either changed his mind or something scared him away."

"Does the wire need replacing?"

"Technically no, but we don't want the guy who did this to think it's unimportant, so I'm going to take care of that now. I'm also going to put a stronger case around the unit, see if that'll slow him down if he tries it again. I'll write you a report before I leave, the police typically like to have it in their files."

Jared thanked the man and made his way back to the house. He did not look forward to telling Jensen that someone, and by someone he meant Joshua, had tried to breach their security. Jensen would worry and that would make his blood pressure even higher, and then he would worry about him and the baby. Jared ran a hand through his hair and let out a tired sigh, not telling Jensen was not an option. He wasn't going to keep secrets from his husband, and Jensen needed to be prepared in case Joshua made another attempt, not that he wouldn't do everything in his power to keep the bastard away from them, but if there was even the smallest chance, Jensen needed to be ready.

He reached for the door, knowing that putting it off wasn't going to make it any easier. The puppies came skidding around the corner when they heard him shut the door, and he had to weave and dodge to keep from stepping on them or tripping over the two fur balls.

"Hey guys," he stooped down to scratch behind their ears. "We're going to have to talk about ya'll getting under foot. Daddy can't be tripping over you and breaking his neck."

"Jared," Jensen called from the living room.

"Yeah, I'll be right in."

"Can you grab me some water when you come."

"Sure, let me wash my hands first."

"Okay."

Jared dried his hands off and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, opting to bring the container of grapes with him too. Jensen's appetite was doing a little better as long as he kept to small amounts. He handed the water over, taking a seat and pulling Jensen's feet into his lap.

"I brought the grapes. Thought you might be a little hungry."

"The seedless ones?" Jensen asked hopefully.

"Yes, the seedless ones." Jared rolled his eyes. "You do know the seeds won't hurt you, right?"

"I don't like them. They get in the way and they taste yucky," Jensen pouted.

"Yucky?"

"Yes yucky," Jensen stated firmly.

"How old are you anyway... two?" Jared asked, grinning as Jensen made a face at him.

"If I was, you'd be in jail right now getting nice and close with Bubba," Jensen answered, laughing when Jared choked on a grape.

"That's just dirty, bad wrong on so many levels and none of them good," Jared grumbled.

Jensen snickered, putting another grape in his mouth.

"The security company got here about an hour ago."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You needed the sleep, and it's not like you can go traipsing around anyway."

"Not the point," Jensen argued back.

"Yes, it is the point," Jared said, gently taking the container and setting it on the table. He shifted a little closer and rested his hands on Jensen's ankles, massaging the sore muscles. "I'm not going to keep anything from you, but it's my job to look out for you even if it means you don't like me so much sometimes."

Jensen bit his lip. He knew Jared wouldn't lie to him either purposely or by omission. "It's just frustrating. I feel like I'm not contributing to something that's so important."

Jared's hands stopped moving, his disbelief a physical presence in the room. "Jensen you're having our baby. How's that not contributing? It's one of the most important things you could ever do."

"Yeah, but I can't help feel like you're having to keep us safe from my mess. I realize how hypocritical that sounds since the driving factor of me changing my mind about marrying you in the beginning was to keep the baby safe from just what's happening. I really hate that we're all suffering for my stupidity," Jensen finished tiredly.

"Firstly, I didn't care then, and I don't care now why you changed your mind because it gave me the chance to have something I didn't even know I wanted. Secondly, as for this being your mess or feeling like it's happened because you were stupid is ridiculous. You trusted someone and that trust was betrayed. That's neither your fault, nor does it have anything to do with being stupid. I know for a fact that you're not by any stretch of the imagination, stupid."

Jensen shrugged, picking at the afghan hanging on the back of the couch. He'd never known how to take compliments, preferring to shrug them off or default to his 'humor the crazy' smile.

Jared reached out and gently forced Jensen's chin up, "I know you don't like hearing it. You never did like it when people paid you a compliment.

"I never know what to say." Jensen shrugged helplessly.

"You say thank you, and more importantly you believe what they're saying," Jared said, leaning forward to place a kiss on Jensen's forehead.

"Okay." Jensen agreed softly.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Jared cleared his throat. Jensen shifted so he was facing Jared, wanting to meet whatever his husband was going to tell him head on.

"Martino said the tree branch was cut, and the tech guy showed me where both the front and back systems had their panels pried off. The back one had a wire that was nicked, so he either was interrupted or changed his mind," Jared said, watching for Jensen's reaction.

Jensen's shoulders slumped at the news. "So we know he's still trying then."

"We didn't think he'd give up did we?" Jared asked quietly.

"No, but there was always hope. Did you call Detective Lloyd?"

"Yeah, I left him a message, still waiting to hear back from him."

"What time are you leaving to go to the studio?" Jensen tried to keep his voice steady.

"I'm not. I've already called Chad and he's going to take care of most of the things on our list today. What he can't, we'll deal with later. I'm not going to leave you here alone right now, and we have to wait for the Detective anyway."

"Jared, you have too much to do to stay home and baby sit me," Jensen argued even as Jared's answer buoyed his spirits.

"I've already told you several times, but I'm going to say it again since those pregnancy sites say you forget things more when you're having a baby. There is nothing, and I mean nothing that's more important than you or our baby," Jared stated firmly.

"I didn't forget, but if the Detective is coming over then I think I'll be safe."

"Yes, but he can't stay until I get back, and I don't want you alone."

Jensen knew when to give up so he nodded, snuggling deeper into the corner of the sofa. The buzzer went off signifying someone was at the front gate and Jared went to investigate. He returned several minutes later, Detective Lloyd following in his wake.

Jensen struggled to get up, hating not being able to meet the man on his feet.

"Don't get up, I hear you're supposed to be on bed rest," Riley stated firmly, leaning down so he could shake Jensen's hand without him continuing to try and stand.

Jensen scowled up at Jared, who looked entirely unrepentant. "It's a conspiracy."

"I'm sure it is. People who love you will do that sort of thing," Riley agreed, smiling at Jensen's blush.

Jared cleared his throat knowing that Jensen needed a moment to not be the center of attention. "Did you talk with the security tech?"

"Yeah, I met him on his way out. He gave me a copy of the report, said to tell you to give yours to the insurance company."

"Do you know where Joshua is?" Jensen asked hopefully.

Riley hated to dash that hope, but he wasn't in the habit of sugar coating things. "No, unfortunately he has completely dropped off the radar. His parole office has contacted the local authorities, and they've issued a BOLO for him. They included his vehicle even though it's parked at his condo. The detective I spoke with said they didn't want to take the chance he'd pick it up later, and no one would know to look for it."

Jared shifted closer to his husband, pulling him into his side trying to absorb some of the disappointment and fear rolling off Jensen in waves. He relaxed when Jensen gave a tired sigh and slumped into him, allowing him to take his weight if not metaphorically at least literally.

"So what should we do while he's on the loose?" Jared asked, focusing his attention back on the detective.

"For starters, neither one of you needs to be off on your own. The more people around you the better. I asked a friend to do a profile on him, and while it's not always perfect, it gives us another tool to try and predict what he might do. We think he'll wait until he can get Jensen alone. That's not to say he won't try to get you out of the way, Jared, so don't think that you shouldn't be on your toes. Overall, he's just like any other abuser, he's a bully and coward, and like most of them, he wants the situation to be where he can control everything without interference."

"Should we look into getting a bodyguard?" Jared asked even as Jensen made a noise of disapproval.

"I think you might want to employ one for the times you go out. At home, I think you'll be fine as long as you continue to keep security in the forefront of your minds. You have a top of the line system but it only works well if you set it and continue to practice vigilance.

Jared nodded. He knew Jensen wasn't happy about the thought of a bodyguard, but he was going to have to compromise. He was willing not to have one at their home, but out in public they were going to follow the detective’s advice. Jared made a mental note to call Cliff as soon as Detective Lloyd left.

They talked about the direction in which the case was heading and what they would be in store for if they did indeed find Joshua, and for the sake of legal argument, if they could prove he'd been the one doing the stalking and vandalism they had been experiencing. Riley felt it was just a matter of time. Jared was just concerned it would be the timing that was the problem and Jensen, well, he just wanted the nut case out of their lives for good and he had a feeling Joshua's death was going to be the only way they got peace.

************************************************************

Joshua sat in a small camouflaged tent hidden in the patch of woods that sat in the middle of the gated community. He'd spent weeks sneaking in behind vehicles to saw at the limb of a tree he thought would take out one of the main sensors. He'd already pried the panels off the security boxes trying to decide which wire to cut, even going so far as to snip the side of one, only to decide he wanted to try another way. He'd followed Jared and Jensen on several occasions, staking out the locations they spent time at, a bakery downtown, a large house that he later found out was a center for victims of abuse and, of course, the temporary office that the bastard who had stolen his husband was using in the wake of Joshua torching his.

He felt rage pour through him again as he remembered each and every time Jensen would come into view, his stomach heavy with that bastard's brat. Joshua seethed thinking about how many times he'd hoped Jensen would get pregnant from the thrust of his dick. It would have been another way to tie Jensen to him. And Jared, he spat the name in his mind, for the man to do it on the first try had him seeing red, and plotting ways in which to rid himself of the brat and ensure that the next time Jensen was pregnant it would be with his baby.

Joshua raised the binoculars back to his face and watched as the unmarked car pulled away and the gate swung shut. It was going to be impossible to circumvent the security system without having someone familiar with it doing it for him, and he couldn't afford for anyone to know what he was doing or where he was. His parents had left him several messages, each angrier than the last, but he didn't care that there was a warrant for his arrest, didn't care what his parents thought. The only thing they were good for was getting him out of trouble in the first place.

He continued to scan the yard for any sign of his husband, disgust coiling in his stomach when Jared came into view with the mutts he'd obviously brought home last night since this was the first time he'd seen them. Joshua watched as Jared walked to the end of the drive and followed the path that meandered in and out of the property. He hadn't seen Jensen in over a week and a half and he wondered fleetingly if Jared had finally figured out that Jensen needed someone with a firm hand. Joshua could just imagine the new bruises blooming on pale skin the vivid blues and dark blacks surrounded by the mottled greens, but squelched the idea when it had him moving towards the road intent on taking back what was his and making sure he was the one that put those lovely shades of colors on Jensen.

No, he would wait and when he finally had Jensen free of the filth Jared had filled him with, he'd make Jensen pay. His prick filled and hardened. He reached to undo his pants, closing his eyes and picturing what he'd do once Jensen was his again.


	15. Chapter 15

Jensen had made it to his eighth month, and he could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. The doctor had been pleased with the milestone and even happier that Jensen's blood pressure had dropped closer to acceptable range. Dr. Agnit had even compromised and allowed Jensen off bed rest with the conditions that he could move around the house and on occasion go out to eat with Jared, but he wasn't cleared to go back to teaching or indulge in any painting marathons until after that baby was born.

He'd spoken to Steve almost every day throughout his house arrest, even if sometimes it was only for a couple of minutes, and was told that Natalie was doing well and that having the class to focus on seemed to be helping her immensely. Steve had also informed him that Gabriel was doing well although he hated his physical therapy and swore his therapist was trying to finish the job his sperm donor had started. They'd rewarded him for his diligence with allowing him to hang out in the playroom while the older kids played just to keep him from going crazy.

Steve also told him that Chris had gotten depressed the first time he'd helped Gabriel get settled on the couch, and he'd had to hunt him down in the office to find out what happened. The kids had gathered around Gabriel, careful not to bump against him and of course asked questions as all kids were prone to do. Gabe had answered them the best he could, but it was the sight of the kids nodding in solemn understanding without any doubt that something bad could happen that had sent Chris to have some time alone.

Jensen knew Chris was affected by the abuse heaped on kids more than he did anyone else. He cared about all the people under his care but the kids were the hardest. They were defenseless in ways that adults just weren't physically, mentally, and emotionally. Knowing these kids had lost the veil of innocence way too early in life was an awfully hard thing to bear witness to. Unfortunately, Chris saw it way too often, and there were times he didn't process it as well as others. The incident with Gabriel had left both his friends emotionally raw and more vulnerable than Jensen had ever seen them.

Finally able to leave the couch and the house, Jared had taken him to eat at the sandwich shop so he could see Sophia, and they'd gone to Jeff's restaurant one night when Jensen had been about to climb the walls. He found himself relaxing more and more around Jared's friend and business partner. Jeff had regaled him with tales of Jared trying to help him when they were setting up the restaurant. Jensen laughed so much his cheeks hurt as he pictured Jared standing in the middle of the chaos Jeff described as they unloaded multiple trucks. It had been one of their best nights out in several months and Jensen was able to finally breathe a little easier with some of the claustrophobia of imposed rest lifted.

The puppies were growing like weeds, both of them able to jump onto the couch without assistance, and they enjoyed nap time with Jensen on most days. Jared had moved the bed out of Jensen's old bedroom and set up a jungle gym of ramps and toys that they could entertain themselves with during the night. They were getting better at the stairs but both Jensen and Jared worried about them taking a tumble down the steps in the middle of the night. Jared figured a couple of more months, and the puppies would be agile enough to be allowed the run of the house all the time. They found Sadie preferred to doze in the sun flooding the windows in the solarium and Harley liked to curl up in the corner of the couch to chase squirrels in his sleep, a practice he carried out every time they took them outside.

Jensen had laughed until he had to sit down when a particularly spunky squirrel had turned with its tail frizzed out on the over eager puppy and ran straight at the shocked canine. Harley had nearly broken his neck trying to escape, yelping like he'd been attacked, to hide behind Jared's legs as the perturbed squirrel had fled up a tree they were standing beside. Jared had rolled his eyes, helping Jensen up when he was finally able to compose himself. Sadie looked on with a degree of disdain at her brother that Jensen swore only a female sibling could manage.

Jared and Chad had finished all of their current projects, and the office was only weeks away from being ready to do the inside. Chad spent most of his time juggling decisions on office decor and the inevitable award season interview calls. Two of Jared's movies were nominated for several awards, and Jensen had received special permission from his doctor to attend as long as his visit the day before was positive and they didn't attend the after parties, which they weren't since Jensen only lasted until 11:00 on most nights much less when he'd be excited and nervous about Jared's nominations.

Jared tried to get Chad to go in their place, but he'd shuddered and asked them if they were insane. Jared had just laughed and left Chad to his phone calls, secure in the knowledge that his friend would never ever change.

**********************************************

Sophia had taken Jensen shopping again so he'd have something to wear to the awards ceremony. He'd argued he could wear the same suit he'd used for his showing, but she wouldn't hear it. She'd told him this was a special occasion and he needed something just as special to wear to it. Jensen had finally surrendered but had flat out refused any type of tuxedo. There was no way in hell he was going to put something on that would restrict his movements any more than the pregnancy was already doing.

Jensen had been taken aback when they had stepped into the store and there was already a rack of clothes waiting for him to look through. The salesman ushered him to a seat and disappeared, returning a moment later with a bottle of water that he sat on the table beside Jensen.

"What did you do?" Jensen whispered loudly.

"Nothing! Why do you always think I did something?" Sophia whined, grinning when her friend rolled his eyes.

"Because you're always up to no good," Jensen grumbled, picking up the bottle and taking a swallow.

"Well, I'll have you know I had nothing to do with any of this," she stated firmly, punctuating her remark with a decisive nod.

"Nothing?" Jensen questioned still unconvinced.

Sophia shrugged. "I told Jared where we were going, but that was it."

Jensen decided he could manage as a single parent, really he could, because he was going to kill his husband. The salesman reappeared with a small basket of goodies, setting them on the low table where he'd left the water before, stepping back and looking Jensen over with a practiced eye.

"Now where would you like to start Mr. Ackles-Padalecki?" The young man asked.

Jensen gaped at the man standing in front of him, checking out the nametag at the same time.

"Umm Matt...." he cleared his throat. "What do you mean where do I want to start? And Please call me Jensen."

Matt looked at him for a minute before a grin spread across his face. "Mr. Padalecki neglected to tell you that he called ahead didn't he?"

"Yes," Jensen answered, scowling.

Matt's smile just got bigger and Jensen had no idea how that was even possible without the man pulling every muscle in his face.

"You're very lucky, most gentlemen I have coming through the store would pay an absurd amount of money to have someone so concerned for their health and welfare."

"I know. What did he say exactly?" Jensen sighed, resigning himself to being pampered.

"He just informed the store that you'd be stopping by today, and he would appreciate it if we'd look after everything so you wouldn't have to."

"That was it?" Jensen eyed him suspiciously.

Matt's smile turned a little sheepish, "He may have mentioned you were just off bed rest and not to let you exert yourself.... at all."

Jensen groaned, flopping back in the chair and glaring at the ceiling.

"But that's just great because that's what I'm here for," Matt announced, grin back full force.

Sophia laughed at Jensen's dramatics. "You might as well get it through that thick head of yours Jared's going to do whatever he has to, to take care of you and the baby."

Jensen sighed in defeat, picking his head back up, so he could look over the selections Matt had already pulled for him. The rest of their visit went by quickly as Sophia and Matt discarded items and added different options until there were several bags waiting at the register. Jensen was still a little overwhelmed by how quickly everything had been chosen, especially when he'd only had to try on the final two contenders. He had decided on a soft gray suit, the coat hanging a little longer than the conventional suit would to account for the dress shirt that wouldn't be tucked in. He'd been pleasantly surprised that none of the items he'd purchased had felt constricting, and they were all quite comfortable.

They made excellent time through the city, and Sophia had him back home in record time, which was a plus since all he'd done in the last fifteen minutes was yawn. Sophia begged off coffee, telling him she had to get to the shop for a special order, but helped him lug all his bags in. Jensen dropped them on the kitchen island, not willing to place them any lower so that slobbery puppies could attack and destroy his afternoon accomplishments. He shuffled his way through the house, yawning so big his jaw popped, and looking for Jared, intent on taking care of business.

\------------------------------------------

Jared heard the kitchen door shut the same time both puppies jumped to their feet, tails wagging in dizzying circles. He braced himself for Jensen's displeasure and was surprised when he didn't hear his name being bellowed through the house, not that Jensen was in the habit of bellowing, but his husband was like anyone else and his fuse did eventually light the stick of dynamite that was his temper. Jared figured his little stunt of sticking his nose in Jensen's trip would finally blow the powder keg, and he'd been preparing his defense since he'd made the phone call to the clothing store he'd wheedled the location out of Sophia before they'd left.

He was a little dumfounded when the door to the office was pushed open and Jensen wandered in yawning and rubbing the taut skin of his stomach in soothing circles. Jared watched his husband squat down with some effort and pet the puppies until they settled down and flopped contentedly back in their baskets. He waited to see if Jensen would say anything about his meddling, but he remained silent, reaching out to use the edge of the desk to help straighten back up, but Jared made it to his side first, grasping his elbow and helping lever Jensen back into a standing position.

"Thanks," Jensen mumbled around another yawn.

"Did you get everything you needed?" Jared asked, stepping back a little to give Jensen room to sit down if he wanted.

"Yeah, I got the whole shebang," Jensen assured him, reaching out and capturing Jared's hand before his husband could step out of reach.

"What are you working on?" Jensen asked, glancing at the desk as if it'd help him with the answer.

"Nothing important. Why?"

Jensen turned around and headed to the door, tugging Jared along with him.

"Where are we going?" Jared questioned, even more confused.

"Nap," Jensen mumbled, making his way to their bedroom, Jared still in tow.

Jared looked around for hidden booby traps as he was pulled along the hallway and through the door of their bedroom. Jensen released his hand and started undressing as soon as the door was shut, stopping long enough to lift an eyebrow at Jared's still fully clothed status. Jared got with the program, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head, blinking at the empty space where Jensen had been standing. A quick look around and he found his husband already snuggled under the blankets, waiting patiently for company.

Jared finished undressing and slid into the bed beside Jensen, edging over until his chest was pressed against Jensen's back. Jensen reached back, grabbing his arm and pulling it across and settling Jared's warm palm against the little knee or elbow that was jabbing him in the side. Jared ran his hand in a soothing circle until the little body part moved away and the shifting subsided so Jensen could relax and get some much needed sleep.

"You're not mad?" Jared asked, when he couldn't stand the suspense anymore, leaning over and kissing Jensen's shoulder.

"I was a little angry, but Sophia and Matt reminded me of what a wonderful husband I have," Jensen answered around a yawn, wiggling back to press even closer to Jared.

Jared tightened the circle of his arms, burying his face in the nape of Jensen's neck, breathing in the warm scent of his husband's skin. He listened to Jensen's breathing even out and relaxed, joining Jensen in his afternoon nap.

******************************************************************

Jared and Chad had been conducting all business meetings in a rented space while the new office was being built. Typically, Chad dealt with the majority of the actor/actress who were vying for new parts or when they were finishing up one. Unfortunately, Chad's car had picked today to as the one that it was going to refuse to start, which meant Jared was going to have to deal with any appointments Chad had scheduled.

He groaned just thinking about having to deal with some of the issues that his friend usually took care of for him. Chad really needed a raise he decided. Jared dropped his bag and jacket in his temporary office before checking out Chad's calendar to see just what was in store for him. Thankfully, there were only two appointments in the morning, with several more scheduled for the afternoon. Chad had said he'd be there by lunchtime so that only left him with the two.

The first appointment was with a young man who was looking to intern with a director and or production company. The idea was something that Jared had never considered before, but with Jensen so close to giving birth and him planning on taking a smaller role in production, it was an idea to consider. Jared promised to call the young man later in the week when he'd thought through the advantages and disadvantages.

The second appointment boggled Jared's mind. He couldn't even begin to fathom why Chad had scheduled it in the first place. The young woman who sauntered into the office wouldn't have been out of place on the street corner, her red dressed hugged every curve of her body, the top barely covered her well endowed chest, and it was so short Jared was afraid if she bent over, she'd be arrested for indecent exposure. He couldn't figure out how she even stayed upright on what had to be six inch stilettos. His feet hurt just looking at them.

Jared introduced himself, waiting until she'd done the same and then escorted her back to his office, leaving the door open, hoping it would make him feel a little more comfortable with the appointment. He'd been asking some of the more mundane questions that they always asked of potential employees when Cherie as she had introduced herself asked for a glass of water. Jared breathed a sigh of relief at being able to direct his attention somewhere other than the woman across from him. She was really starting to make his skin crawl.

He turned to walk back to the seating area, almost spilling the water when he realized the woman was right behind him. Jared hadn't heard her follow him and when he looked down, he saw that she'd taken off her shoes. He handed her the cup, backing up a step or two as she swallowed the contents and handed Jared the cup back. When he turned back around she had stepped back into his space and had grabbed his face, smashing her lips into his.

Jared was so shocked, it took him a second to pull away, wiping his lips with the back of his hand and pushing the woman back so she either moved away from him or risked falling. When she dropped to her knees and reached for Jared's belt, he slapped her hands away and grabbed her by the arm, hauling her back into a standing position.

"I think you need to leave now!"

"Oh Jared, I thought you'd have a casting couch. I'm disappointed," she purred.

"If you don't leave now I'm calling the police," Jared growled, refusing to say anything else.

"That's okay sweetheart, I got what I came for," she grabbed her shoes and swayed her way out the door.

Jared heard the door shut and footsteps headed his way.

"Who the hell was that?" Chad asked looking Jared over.

"That was your second appointment this morning," Jared answered, dropping into a chair.

"No way! I'd never schedule an appointment with a prostitute, not for business anyway, well not for me either but that's beside the point. What did she want?"

"Other than sticking her tongue down my throat and trying to give me a blow job, I've got no idea. Where the hell did she come from?"

"She what?"

"You heard me. I got her a glass of water and when I turned around, she was all over me."

"She was supposed to be from the Elan Agency. The secretary called and set it up," Chad answered a frown marring his face.

"What?"

"It wasn't Amy though that set it up. I remember thinking she must be on vacation, and they were using a temporary cause I didn't recognize the person’s voice."

"Are you going to call the police?" Chad asked.

"What for? It's not like we even know where she came from. Hell, that probably wasn't even her real name."

"True," Chad thought for a minute. "Are you going to tell Jensen?"

Jared groaned, "I hadn't even thought about it. He didn't respond very well to the Jessica incident."

"Well, that was a little different. You were both still getting to know each other and there were pictures splattered all over the media making it look like something it wasn't." Chad flopped into the seat across from Jared."

Yeah, true, but I don't want to stress him out anymore than he already is. I know, I know," Jared cut Chad off before he could comment. " I don't want to keep anything from him either. I'll tell him, even though there's nothing to tell," Jared sighed, running his hands through his hair.

Chad sat back and shook his head. He had no idea how his friend could get into some of the fixes he did, although the Jensen fix was the best thing that had ever happened to Jared in Chad's opinion. He watched Jared pace for a few minutes before he suggested they get busy with the plans they'd been discussing since Jensen had made an appearance in their lives.

\-----------------------------------

Jared had fully intended to tell Jensen about his afternoon but when he pulled into the driveway and saw Cassandra's car still there his concern ratcheted up ten degrees. He usually called Jensen during the day or Jensen would call him, just to see how their days were going, but Jared had been so busy he hadn't had the chance to call, and upon seeing Cassandra's car still in the drive, he realized Jensen hadn't called all day either. He pulled into the garage, barely pulling his keys out of the ignition before he was out of the car and sprinting for the door. Cassandra pulled it open and shushed him before he could get a word out.

"He's fine Jared. He's just not been feeling well. I finally got him to lay down on the couch, and he just dozed off," she explained, taking Jared's keys and coat before he could toss them wherever they'd land.

"Why didn't he call me?" Jared asked, looking over Cassandra's shoulder, trying to see Jensen even though he knew he couldn't see around corners.

"He's stubborn that's why," Cass huffed. "I told him you'd want to know, but he said you had too much to do and there wasn't anything anybody could do about it anyway."

"I could be here," Jared grumbled.

"Yes, and I'm sure he wanted you here, but like I said, stubborn!" Cassandra leaned up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek before she grabbed her coat and headed for the door. "Try to get him to eat something. He's not had much of an appetite today."

Jared stayed in the kitchen long enough to lock the door and then quickly made his way to the living room. Harley was resting behind Jensen's legs and Sadie had her head resting on Jensen's arm but picked it up and whined softly when she caught sight of Jared.

"You keeping him company," Jared whispered, running a hand over the top of Sadie's head.

He pulled the footstool over and sat down next to the couch, looking over the sleeping man in front of him. Jared could tell Jensen still wasn't getting enough rest. There were dark circles under his eyes and he there was an air of exhaustion around him even as he slept. Jared gently ran his fingers through the spiky waves of hair, the soft strands sliding between his fingers and tickling the palm of his hand. There was a pillow wedged under Jensen's stomach to support the weight of the baby and take some of it off his husband’s back. He'd bought it when the doctor made the suggestion at the last appointment.

Jared had no idea how much time had passed before Jensen started stirring but it wasn't nearly enough and Jared was going to make sure they went to bed early. He watched as Jensen blinked awake, moving slightly to get a better look at Jared hovering next to him.

"What time is it?" Jensen asked, looking towards the window, trying to figure out how long he'd slept.

"A little after seven," Jared answered, still carding his fingers through Jensen's hair, and smiling when his husband leaned into the touch.

"Did Cass leave already?"

"She left after I got here. Do you want to sit up?" Jared asked even as he stood to help Jensen swing his legs off the couch.

Jared set Harley and Sadie on the floor so Jensen could get comfortable. They both laughed when Harley tripped over his sister trying to get to their food bowls. Jared watched Jensen stretch, catching the tiny grimaces as sore muscles rebelled.

"Cassandra said you weren't feeling well." Jared moved to sit beside Jensen.

"It's not been one of my better days, but I'm okay," Jensen reassured him.

"Have you eaten?"

"I had a little at lunch. Do you want something now?" Jensen asked, scooting forward to the edge of the sofa so he could stand.

Jared stilled him before he could get up. "I'm going to go call one of the many places we have menus for and have them deliver, and you're going to sit there and rest."

"I've been resting all day," Jensen whined.

"Have you?" Jared watched the little flush that ran along Jensen's cheekbones.

"Yes, I only did some work in the baby's room."

As much as Jared wanted to point out he'd do anything that needed doing, he knew there were things Jensen wanted or even felt like he needed to do and calling him on it wouldn't accomplish anything. Jared had spent his fair share of time in the baby's room arranging and rearranging things, trying to make it perfect. What perfect meant he had no clear idea but he kept doing it.

"What were you working on?" Jared asked, tucking Jensen closer. He felt Jensen relax and he released the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"The mural."

"Did you finish it?" Jared asked even as he felt Jensen smile against his neck.

"Yeah, I think it's done now." Jensen grinned tiredly at the running theme of 'are you done yet'. "You want to go look at it?"

"You know I do, but once we climb those stairs we're not coming back down so why don't you lay back and rest some more while I go make that call and get the puppies squared away."

"Which menu are you choosing from?"

"I don't know, which would you prefer?" Jared slid off the couch to go grab the stack of menus that were stashed in kitchen.

"Let's get something from Carlos'."

"Did you want the soup?"

"Yeah, and some of the toasted bread, but tell them no garlic. I can't take the heartburn tonight."

Jared called in their order and grabbed Jensen's pills before heading back to the living room.

"Thanks," Jensen responded as Jared handed him his medicine.

They sat and talked about their day as they waited for the food to arrive. Jared was pleased that Jensen was able to eat half his soup and the bread before he pushed his bowl away. Once the dishes were cleared away, Jared helped Jensen off the couch, and they climbed the stairs, Jensen going first as had been their habit since Jared preferred to be in the back in case there was a trip or dizzy spell.

Jensen stopped in front of the door to the baby's room. Jared could tell his husband was nervous but couldn't imagine why. They'd both been in and out of the room too many times to count. He already knew what the mural was and that there was no way it could be anything but beautiful if Jensen painted it.

"If you don't like something just let me know, and I can fix it or change it," Jensen said, reaching for the doorknob.

Jared grabbed his hand, turning him back around. "Hey, you know anything you do is going to be perfect so stop worrying." He pulled Jensen to him, leaning down to brush his lips against Jensen's.

Jensen pulled Jared down a little to deepen the kiss, taking his time to lick his way into Jared's mouth, exploring the texture and the taste of the man he fell in love with more each day.

Jared wanted nothing more than to push Jensen up against the nearest stable surface and devour him, but he knew even if Jensen's will wasn't flagging his body would, the exhaustion was an ever present partner with him at this point in his pregnancy. Jensen pulled away slowly, leaving small light kisses behind. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were at half-mast and Jared had to dig really deep not to give in to the desire to bypass everything else and go straight to their bedroom.

Jensen smiled as if he knew what Jared was thinking and turned around, opening the door and stepping right through. to wait. Jared followed, always a little in awe even now that this was their son’s or daughter’s bedroom. He blinked at the sudden flip of the lights, and then he took in the details that weren't on the mural the last time he'd been in the room. Jared walked around looking at the changes. Jensen had decided to do a beachy, ocean type of theme.

The ocean was calm, the waves lapping gently at the sand. Jensen had painted the sun high in the sky and clouds that looked like you could reach out and feel them float through your fingertips. Jared still loved the turtle that was riding towards the shore on a piece of driftwood, and when he looked closer he saw that there was a name inked into the whirls of the turtle's shell.

"I'm the turtle?" Jared looked back at the turtle, grinning at the 'Papa' he saw in the lines. "Is there one up here for you?" He asked, focusing on each part of the mural.

"There's several different ones," Jensen hedged, wanting Jared to find them for himself. He lowered his tired body into the rocking chair, watching as Jared discovered all the little touches he'd put throughout the mural.

Jared started at the bottom, finding his mom's name on a sandpiper skittering down the beach. His dad was the hermit crab burrowing into the sand. He finally found Jensen's name on a jellyfish floating in the surf. When he looked even closer, he found Jensen's mom's name scribed into the lines of a cloud and Jeff's was delicately detailed in the colors of a fading rainbow. Jensen came to stand beside him, watching his reaction to his brother's name in the mural.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it," Jared answered, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

"I put one more thing in there. If you look a little closer, you might see it," Jensen told him, taking his hand and squeezing.

Jared stepped back to look at the whole mural, realizing that Jensen had interspersed all the characters throughout the painting except in one spot. There was a section of sea grass in one of the corners, and as he looked closer, he saw several small sea sprites darting in and out of the grass playing hide and seek.

"I thought once we knew what the baby was, and we picked a name. I would write it on the wings of one," Jensen explained.

"What about the other ones?" Jared asked, looking over at Jensen when he didn't answer right away.

"I thought maybe we could do the same for any brothers or sisters we might want to add," Jensen said not breaking eye contact.

"I'd love that. I'd love that a lot, but only if the doctor thinks it's safe " Jared leaned down, kissing Jensen softly. "As much as I'd love to have another baby, I don't want to lose you."

Jensen nodded, in understanding, there was plenty of time to think about more kids later. He had to make it through this one first, and after some of the videos they'd seen in class he was seriously wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had been feeling energized for the last couple of days, but today was another story altogether. He'd woken tired and his back had been throbbing a constant tattoo of pain but tonight was the awards ceremony, and he was not going to miss it. He spent the morning resting and soaking in the tub, trying to release some of the pressure and pain in his lower back, and by the time Jared made it home mid morning he was feeling marginally better.

"How are you feeling?" Jared asked, sitting down beside his husband after uprooting Jensen's constant canine shadows.

"I'm okay." Jensen hedged.

"Uh huh. Now tell me how you really feel," Jared pressed.

Jensen sighed. There was no sense in lying because Jared wouldn't let up until he found out what he wanted to know.

"My back's hurting a little today, but it's feeling better after my bath."

"Jensen, you know you don't have to go tonight. It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is, and I'm going to be there," Jensen stated stubbornly.

Jared regarded his husband with a concerned look. "Fine, but if you start feeling sick, or you're hurting too much, you tell me."

"Okay," Jensen agreed, relaxing.

"I'm serious Jensen, promise me."

"I promise. Now what time are we supposed to be there so I have enough time to get ready?"

"The ceremony starts at 8:00, but they want the nominees there at 5:30 so Chad's going to take me. and The limo will be here at 6:30 to pick you up and I'll meet you down the street from the center so we can make that grand entrance the cameras love so much."

"I can ride with you and Chad," Jensen offered hopefully.

"No, there's no sense in you having to hang around for hours before hand. You stay here and rest until it's time to get ready, the gate already knows to expect Elite Limo Service." Jared leaned over, kissing Jensen to cut off the protest he knew he was about to hear.

"Fine, at least I'll be able to get ready without being molested." Jensen laughed at Jared's mock outrage.

"I see how it is," Jared pretended to pout.

"Good, I'm glad we finally got that cleared up," Jensen teased.

They spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon shopping online for the baby and spending some much needed time just being together.

\--------------------------------------------

Jensen whistled when Jared reappeared downstairs an hour later fresh from the shower and decked out in all his finery. His tuxedo emphasized not only his height, but the broad expanse of his shoulders, and the cut of the expensive fabric hugged his waist and clung to his ass. Jensen's appreciation caused Jared to stumble a little over the last couple of steps.

"Are you trying to make me break my neck?" Jared complained.

Jensen laughed. "No, I kind of like you in one piece. Are you blushing?"

"No!" Jared denied.

"You are too!" Jensen exclaimed, astonished confident, self-assured the man in front of him could still blush.

"Fine, I'm blushing, now we're even," Jared mumbled, ducking his head.

Jared was used to people appreciating his physical attributes but for some reason having Jensen's attention made the heat rise to his cheeks and his heart beat double time.

Jensen just grinned at Jared's response. It was awesome not to be the one caught turning red, and it made him feel special that he was able to inspire that effect. He stood up, meeting Jared mid way in/through the living room.

"You look amazing," he said softly, standing on tip toe to offer a gentle kiss that quickly devolved into something deeper and definitely not innocent. Jensen pulled away before he could crush the lapel of Jared's tuxedo. He smoothed his hands down the front of the silky material, straightening out invisible wrinkles.

"I don't want to mess up your suit," Jensen whispered regretfully.

"Like I care about the suit," Jared grumbled.

Jensen smiled, taking his seat on the couch again. "Yeah, well I do. I don't want the fashion police to say you looked like you'd been rolling around in the bed before you got there."

"Again, like I care," Jared restated drolly.

Jensen snickered at the disdain he heard.

"Yeah, well it's not like you're not already going to get grief for that hair."

"Hey! You like my hair."

"Yes, yes I do," Jensen agreed, running his fingers through the long silky strands, careful not to mess it up.

Before Jared could answer they heard a car coming up the drive.

"I think Chad's here," Jensen said as he stood up to look out the window.

"Yeah, it's about time for him. You're going to be okay?" Jared asked as he opened the door for their friend.

"Yes, mom, I'm going to eat a snack, and then I'm going to get ready."

Chad walked in pulling doggy treats out of his pocket for the puppies that came rushing towards him.

"You're spoiling them," Jared grumbled.

"So," Chad answered gleefully.

"Looking good there Chad," Jensen said, grinning.

"Shut up!" Chad growled. "You know how much I hate going to these things. I don't know why he always makes me go." Chad glared at Jared.

"Because if I have to suffer, so do you, sweetheart," Jared answered, patting Chad's cheek.

"I'm going to show you suffer in a minute."

Jensen finally lost his composure, laughing so hard he had to sit down.

"Both of you shut up before I pee myself!" Jensen complained, trying to catch his breath.

"I thought you'd have learned to control that by the time you were five," Chad snarked.

"Yeah, well, you have twenty pounds sitting on your bladder and see how much control you've got."

"No, thank you very much," Chad said shaking his head.

"That's what I thought," Jensen huffed still grinning.

Jensen kissed Jared goodbye and stuck his tongue out at Chad, laughing when Harley shot between his legs and almost sent the giver of treats sprawling across the floor.

Two hours later, Jensen was dressed and just locking the baby gate so the puppies were in the kitchen out from under foot. Harley was scheduled for obedience school because every time someone opened the door he tried to escape. The poor puppy had a love/hate relationship with the squirrels that called the yard home.

He heard the security buzzer go off, and he checked the monitor just to reassure himself that it was the limo. Jensen picked up his keys and wallet, sliding them into his pockets, and reached for the door just as the knock sounded.

"I'm ready......" Jensen stumbled back, shock bleaching his face as he caught himself on the hall table, one of his hands curving around his stomach in a protective gesture.

"Joshua," he choked out.

Jensen stumbled backwards, sinking into the chair that sat in the hall. Joshua shut the door behind him and closed the distance between them.

"Guess you weren't expecting to see me, were you baby?"

Jensen couldn't form a reply. His heart was beating out of his chest, and his head was spinning. He should have known that Joshua would find a way to get to him. It didn't matter how long he had to wait or how far he had to go, he was never going to let Jensen escape him. Jensen shook his head trying to focus on what the man in front of him was saying.

"That's okay, I know you're surprised."

Jensen flinched back violently when Joshua reached out to run his hand down the side of Jensen's face. He stifled a yelp when Joshua balled a fist in his hair and yanked it up so he was forced to look at his own personal demon.

"I realize you've forgotten what I expect, but I don't think it'll take long for you to remember." Joshua released his grip on Jensen's hair. He noticed for the first time the expanded waistline that Jensen's arms were wrapped around protectively.

"How much longer before you have that thing?" he snarled.

"I'm due in another two weeks," Jensen answered, his throat trying to close up.

"Well, we'll find someone that'll get it out sooner than that, and you can leave it somewhere safe," Joshua mocked the fear in Jensen's eyes. "I know you're still soft hearted," he scoffed.

Jensen wanted to feel some relief at Joshua's comment, but he didn't trust the man to keep his word, and the thought of not being with his baby made him nauseous He didn't think even Joshua would stoop to hurting a baby, but the next words he heard solidified the fact that he wasn't taking any chances. He was going to have to do something to get away.

"You know it's a shame Jared didn't get caught in that avalanche then I wouldn't have to wait to have you back the way you were," Joshua mused, pulling an envelope from his pocket.

"What?" Jensen choked out.

"The avalanche. You didn't just think that was nature did you?" Joshua cocked his head, taking in Jensen's stunned expression.

"You did!" Joshua exclaimed smiling. Well, that explains why you didn't come back to me after.

No, baby, that was all me," he gloated. "I followed you on your little getaway. The weather had been so warm, the sun shinning on that nice new powder, all it took was the sharp crack of a riffle to set it rumbling down the mountain right on top of your fiancé. If I'd have known Jeff's brother was coveting his soon to be brother-in-law, I'd have made sure he was close enough for ot to take him out to."

Jensen slumped backward trying to process what Joshua had just revealed. It hadn't been an accident. Joshua had murdered Jeff and no one had known, would still not know if he didn't find a way out.

"I'm not real sure why he wanted you in the first place, since he seems to still like his fair share of the ladies." Joshua smirked, holding out an envelope.

Jensen slowly took it, opening the flap and removing the glossy 8x11's.

"First Jessica and now this fine little piece of ass." Joshua smiled at his big reveal.

Jensen looked down at the pictures in front of him. There was a woman standing close to Jared in the first, and in the second, picture she was leaning in, kissing his husband with Jared's hands on her arms. The third made him take a deep breath. The woman was on her knees reaching for Jared's belt, a feral smile painted across her face.

"You have problems picking men don't you? Or is it that you just can't get it right, and they have to find it somewhere else?" Joshua asked.

Jensen wondered how he'd ever found this man attractive, even his voice was grating against every nerve he had. He looked back down at the pictures. Jared was leaning away from the woman as she kissed him, but the grip on her arms wasn't right for a kiss, either. the captured motion more like he was pushing away than pulling forward. The last one was the telling shot. At first glance, it looked as if the woman was entirely focused on Jared and the act she was about to perform, but when he looked closer, she was actually glancing to the side.

Jensen wasn't sure why Jared hadn't said anything. Maybe afraid that he would react the way he had over Jessica, or maybe Jared had been worried about the stress it would put him and the baby under. It didn't really matter in the long run. He trusted Jared and if the pictures were coming from Joshua then it had obviously been a set up. Jensen could tell from the light in the room it was early morning, and that it had been at Jared's temporary office. He'd bet his next showing's proceeds, if he got to have a next showing, Joshua had been the one standing outside the door taking the pictures.

He looked up at the man in front of him and couldn't hold it in any more. He started laughing.

Joshua jerked back, completely unprepared for the reaction. His face darkened and his lips thinned into a tight line. "What the hell is so funny?" he growled.

"You are," Jensen gasped out, not even caring what the retribution would be at that moment. "Did you really think I'd believe this shit?" He tossed the pictures onto the floor in distaste.

Joshua's hand swung out, catching Jensen across the cheek in a backhand, rage pouring off him in waves.

Jensen tasted blood where he'd bitten his lip, or maybe it had been his tongue, he wasn't sure. The pain spiked across the side of his face leaving behind a steady throbbing ache. He looked up at Joshua seeing the anger and the barely controlled violence and knew this was his one chance. and he had to make it count because he wouldn't get another one.

Jensen gasped, reaching up with trembling fingers to cover the side of his face, letting tears trickle down his cheeks. He licked the blood off his lips making sure he did it in one slow deliberate slide of his tongue. He felt triumph when Joshua tracked the motion with lust filled eyes.

"I'm sorry," Jensen whispered, voice cracking.

Jensen moved to the edge of the chair, sliding to the floor on his knees, and shuffling forward until he was right in front of Joshua.

"You'd better make it good, or I might just decide Jared needs to have a little accident like his brother."

Jensen swallowed thickly, reaching up to slowly unbuckle Joshua's belt as he quietly edged the chair closer to him. He was going to have to lean on it to get up again, and he knew he wasn't going to have a lot of time. He looked up at Joshua from under his lashes as he slowly pulled the man's pants down, making sure to stop at the knees. Jensen knew the moment his ex-husband thought he'd won he'd let his guard down and think Jensen wasn't a threat.

He waited until Joshua closed his eyes in anticipation of a warm, wet mouth around his cock. He drew back his fist and let it fly, punching Joshua in the groin as hard as he could. Jensen was already leveraging himself to his feet before Joshua hit the floor in a curled ball.

He ran through his studio and out the side door aiming for the beach exit. He almost stumbled and fell as he tried to slow down to get the gate open, thankful that you only needed a code to come in not go out. although it might slow Joshua down if it did. He heard the door slam and Joshua's pained bellows just as he made it to the water line. He was gambling on the tide hiding his footprints and the darkness at the waters edge to help conceal him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chad watched Jared pace back and forth, muttering under his breath as he tried to call Jensen for the fiftieth time with no better results than the last.

"Jared, maybe they're just stuck in traffic," he offered, wincing as Jared snapped his phone shut so hard he was surprised not to be showered with plastic pieces.

"Then why isn't he answering his phone?" Jared growled.

"Maybe he left it at home?" Chad's responded unsurely.

"Chad, he's eight and half months pregnant. He doesn't even go to the bathroom without his phone just in case something happens," Jared explained exasperated.

"Do me a favor and get me the limo service number."

Chad watched out the corner of his eye while he went through his contacts for the number. Jared kept hitting redial and even Chad was starting to worry the longer Jensen was out of contact with them. He dialed the number and handed the phone to Jared, listening to one side of the conversation, his heart dropping with each word.

"No, I didn't cancel the car," Jared growled. "When was it canceled?"

"Three days ago!"

Chad was dialing the detective in charge of investigating all the problems they'd had recently before Jared was even off the phone.

"Don't you send out some sort of confirmation?" Jared asked incredulous. "Well, maybe you should."

Chad listened to the phone ring, his anxiety ratcheting up with each tone. He breathed a sigh of relief when it was answered and the speaker identified himself as Detective Lloyd. Chad quickly ran down what he knew so far and then handed the phone to Jared, who was already walking towards the parking lot where they had parked. He hurried to catch up so he could hear what the limousine company had said but he had a good idea just from Jared's responses.

Jared answered the detective’s questions, fighting to keep calm. He slid into the passenger seat of Chad's car knowing he could get them to Jensen much faster. Chad liked to spend some of his days off racing anything with wheels. Jared had always told him he'd get himself killed one day, but he had never been more grateful for Chad's suicidal hobbies as he was now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They could see the unmarked car of the detective and two squad cars as soon as the rounded the bend in the road, their lights bleeding across the landscape casting macabre shadows on everything it touched. Jared wanted to hit something, he'd berated himself all the way home. Chad had tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, but he wouldn't listen, all he knew was he'd left Jensen alone and he knew deep down in his gut that it was Joshua. The limousine could have been a fluke, an accidental cancellation if it hadn't been for the fact the person had used his name, his blood had run cold knowing that Jensen was alone and vulnerable.

Chad stopped in front of the gate, waiting for directions from the detective. Detective Lloyd told him to punch in the code and stop before they got to the house so the police could go in first. Chad did as he was told, heart beating out of his chest when he saw the limousine still sitting in the driveway. He hadn't even come to a full stop before Jared was out of the car and sprinting for the house. Chad wasn't sure who was cussing more, him or the detective who flew past his window before he could even get his seat belt off.

Jared went for the front door knowing that was the only one someone posing as the driver would go to in order to keep from looking suspicious. He heard the detective swearing behind him but there wasn't a chance in hell he was going to stand outside and wait for them to tell him what was going on. Jared was reaching for the doorknob when a hand landed on his shoulder, yanking him sideways and nearly knocking him off the steps.

"Jared, I swear to God if you don't stop I'm going to pistol whip you!" Riley huffed, trying to catch his breath from the flat out sprint he'd run.

"I'm not sitting out here when Jensen could be in there hurt!" Jared growled.

"I wasn't really expecting you to, but I'm going in first, and you're going to stay behind me and do exactly what I tell you so you don't get shot by one of the other officers." Riley waited for acknowledgment.

Jared nodded his head and stepped back, letting Riley go first. The detective pushed the door open, not really surprised that it wasn't locked. He almost stumbled over a chair that was lying on its side on the floor. Jared reached around him and flipped the switch on the wall, flooding the hallway with light. Riley took a few seconds to let his eyes adjust to the lights before he moved further into the room, careful not to step on the papers that were spilled across the floor.

Jared could hear the puppies in the kitchen scratching at the gate and whimpering, but his focus was on the pictures scattered in the hallway. He should have known that Joshua was behind that particular appointment. Jared didn't realize he was clenching his fists until Riley carefully extracted the photo from his hand.

"I'm assuming this means something to you," Riley asked taking a cursory look at it.

"Yeah, Chad usually does the initial appointments for new talent and then if he thinks they'd be a good fit for a part sometime down the road sends them to me for a second. His car wouldn't start that day so I did the two for that morning until he could get to the office. When she came in everything was just sort of off, and then she did that," Jared nodded his head at the pictures.

"What did Chad say about it?"

"I told him she'd been set up by one of our normal agencies but the secretary wasn't the usual one. I thought it was just a temp filling in," Chad answered, hovering in the doorway. "Did you ever tell Jensen?" he asked, directing his question at Jared.

"No, when I got home that night he was sick, and I didn't even think about it. I was too worried about him."

"Shit!" Chad muttered.

One of the officers stepped into the hallway and told them the back door was left open and that another officer was following what looked like two sets of prints going out the back gate.

"He wouldn't have left on his own?" Riley asked. He knew the probability was low, especially with the limousine in the equation, and now the two sets of prints, but he had to cover all the bases.

Jared never got the chance to answer. The echo of a car backfiring made him start, but all the policemen in the room swung around at the sound and tensed. Jared didn't have a clue what was going on. Riley started barking orders at the officers and into his radio, asking for backup and an ambulance on stand by at their address. It wasn't until he overheard someone else report shots fired that he realized it wasn't a car.

He jumped when there were two more pops in quick succession, his knees almost giving out on him. Jared watched in a surreal sort of detachment as all the officers except one shot out the back door.

"Jared!"

Jared swung around realizing that Riley must have called his name several times.

"Yeah?"

"The shots are moving away from us. Is there a way to get in front of them, cut off whoever's firing the gun?" Riley asked, herding him out the door and towards the car.

Jared struggled to think around the crushing desperation that had a grip on him. "There's a service road that runs along the beach at the back of the development."

"Then that's where we're going. You'll have to show me where it is." Riley slammed his door shut and put the car in reverse following Jared's directions.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen almost tripped and fell when he heard the first shot ring out. He swore he could feel the plume of air brush past him as a bullet ripped into the sand a few feet to his left. Jensen swerved to the right, moving further into the water where it was the darkest. He knew he was giving up speed for stealth, but if he couldn't outrun a bullet, but he might be able to hide from it.

His lungs were burning and he'd had wrapped his arms around his stomach to support the baby's weight. It helped him move a little quicker, and he hoped it was keeping the baby from as much harm as possible. If he could make it to the access road then he might be able to flag down a passerby. There wasn't a lot of traffic on the road but the security did sweeps and some of the maintenance crews would come out to check the lights periodically.

Luckily for him, they must not have been out very recently because he could see two distinct dark spots in the ring of lights just beyond the rocks that jutted into the water. He'd have to navigate his way around them in the water because he couldn't risk going over them. He'd be a target, as soon as he left the shadows. Jensen had heard two more shots, but they didn't seem to have been aimed in any one direction, so Joshua may know what he was doing, but he didn't know where Jensen was at.

He'd just reached the rocks and had started the perilous, time consuming attempt at skirting jagged rocks, his feet slipping on the submerged rocks, when Joshua started shouting. Jensen didn't stop. He carefully tested each spot before he put his entire weight down, knowing he couldn't afford a misstep. He kept one ear tuned to Joshua's ranting so he'd know how close the man was to his hiding place.

Jensen tensed when he heard the gun go off again and seconds later a piece of rock shattered above him. Joshua definitely knew his plan, but he still hadn't seen him so Jensen kept moving.

"I know what you're doing Jensen," Joshua yelled, his breathing harsh with a mixture of exertion and anger.

"You shouldn't have made me chase you. That's okay, though. When I catch you, I'll make sure you never want to do that again," Joshua shouted.

Jensen was almost to the other side of the rocks when he thought he caught a light out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't sure and it'd been for just a second, but if it was a vehicle on the road above he had to get there before it passed him by. It was his only chance. Even now, he could barely catch his breath, and he didn't know how much more he could run, but he wasn't giving up. Joshua wasn’t taking anything more from him without a fight.

As soon as he cleared the rocks he knew he'd be in the open until he hit the patch of sand that was hidden by the broken lights. Jensen only hoped Joshua wouldn't look in that direction until he was again hidden away in the shadows. He was three steps away from the blessed darkness when he heard Joshua's shout from behind him and another bullet slammed into the sand at his feet. Jensen didn't dare stop. He'd seen the glint of lights coming through the trees just a few feet away, all he had to do was get there before the car rounded the corner.

With what little bit of energy he had left he plowed ahead, ignoring Joshua's increased ranting and wondering how the man had breath to run and curse at the same time. He burst through the scraggly beach grass, clinging to the sand at the side of the road, and froze as the lights of the car bore down on him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley had rolled his window down, his being the closest to the beach, so he could hear better if there were any more shots fired. Jared jumped every time a shot echoed in the night, shredding his nerves into tatters. His fingers were digging into the door handle so hard there would surely be indentions left if he were ever able to pry his hand loose.

"They're wild shots, Jared. He's still not sure where Jensen is." Riley tried to calm him even as he strained to hear better, never taking his eyes off the road.

"How do you know?"

"The shots are aimed all over the place. There's no focused point to them, and it sounds chaotic," Riley answered.

"Sounds chaotic?" Jared asked, peering out the window into the dark, trying to catch a glimpse of something..... anything.

"I don't know how to explain it." Riley paused. "There doesn't seem to be a purpose to them yet. He's still searching."

"Riley, guns don't sound like anything except loud," Jared scoffed.

"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

Jared tightened his grip on the seat belt digging into his neck, yanking it away from his throat. The next shot that rang out had Riley tensing beside him.

"What?" Jared asked panicked.

"That one had a purpose, didn't hit the target though, but it was too damn close. Keep your eyes open, and if the shit hits the fan, get your ass down."

Jared felt the cars speed decrease a little, and just as he was about to complain, a blur shot out from the side of the road and froze in front of the car.

"Watch out!" Jared yelled bracing himself against the dashboard, as Riley slamed on the brakes and swung the wheel to the side to avoid the person in the middle of the road.

When the car rocked to a stop Jared could see the figure shivering in the middle of the road and was ripping his seat belt off and careening out of the car, Riley's shouts ignored in favor of getting to his husband. He'd just reached Jensen when he heard Joshua screaming in rage as he crested the rise onto the road.

Jared grabbed Jensen and swung him around so that he was facing away from Joshua, and Jared's body was shielding his and the baby. He heard Riley yelling for Joshua to drop his gun and Joshua laughing manically behind him, all the while he was edging Jensen forward and to the side so he could get him behind the metal safety of the car.

"You know if I drop the gun, and you take me in, I'm just going to get out," Joshua sneered.

"I think you're going to find it's a little harder for mommy and daddy to get you out of this one," Riley responded, gun still poised to do whatever was necessary to protect himself and the two men behind him.

"You'll never be rid of me, Jensen," Joshua crowed. "No matter where you are, you'll know I'm going to come for you."

Jensen’s whole body shuddered in Jared's arms. They both knew Joshua wasn't lying. He would do everything he could to torment them and enjoy every minute of it, even if he was behind bars. Jensen reached up, latching onto Jared's arm when he tried to pull away, ready to end the bastards miserable life and go to prison if it meant Jensen and the baby was safe.

"I need you," Jensen whispered, digging his fingers into Jared's shirt.

Jared slowly relaxed, pulling Jensen even closer, trying to assure himself that his husband was okay. He could hear the gun when it hit the pavement and Riley pushing Joshua up against the car, none to gently if the grunt of pain was any indication. Riley was in the middle of reciting Joshua's rights when Jensen tensed in his arms and gasped, a low groan escaping his throat.

Riley looked up, shocked at the noise, and Joshua took the moment of inattention to reach back and grab for the gun in Riley's holster. Jared could hear the struggle going on behind him, and knew that if Riley didn't come out the winner they were all fucked, but he was trying to keep Jensen from falling to the ground. He lowered Jensen to the pavement behind the wheel, bracing him there while he searched the ground for the gun Joshua had dropped. Jared finally caught the gleam of metal at the edge of the road and was diving for it when Riley's weapon discharged in the struggle.

Jared shook his head, the silence from the blast would have been deafening if he could have heard anything past the ringing in his ears. He looked on as Joshua's body slid sideways as if in slow motion, a deep red stain spreading across the front of the man’s shirt. Somewhere in the back of Jared's head the producer/director was frowning at the color, he'd have to make sure they changed the shade of the fake blood for the next movie. The rest of him was overcome with relief as he looked into the empty eyes of the man that had caused Jensen so much pain.

His eyes darted over to Riley, who was wiping blood off his hand, when the detective caught sight of Jared staring he nodded grimly. "I'm fine. Take care of Jensen."

Jared didn't have to be told twice, he was kneeling in front of his husband searching for any obvious wounds. He heard Riley giving directions to the other officers and requesting the ambulance come as well. Jensen was soaked through and sand clung in clumps to his clothes. His breathing was still labored, and his face was without color. Jared took the blanket Riley offered and wrapped it around his shivering husband, he wasn't sure if it was Jensen being drenched, or if it was the shock finally setting in.

"I'm sorry," Jensen mumbled through chattering teeth.

"You've got no reason to be sorry," Jared answered, brushing strands of wet hair out of Jensen's face.

"Ruined your night," Jensen gasped out, doubling over holding his stomach. "I don't think the baby appreciated all that exercise."

Jared wanted to panic, cold dread had settled in his stomach. His frustration was mounting at not being able to do anything useful.

"You didn't ruin my night. You know Chad hates those things. He'd have nagged us all night long." Jared rubbed Jensen's back trying to relax the tense muscles, in his back hoping it would offer some relief from the pain.

"The ambulance will be here in just a minute," Riley interrupted softly.

Jared nodded, never taking his eyes or hands off his husband. He moved back only when the EMT's nudged him so they could start working on Jensen, but refused to release his hand.

They took Jensen's blood pressure, concerned at how high it was. His temperature was a little on the low side, not surprising considering his soaked clothes. When they lifted him onto the gurney Jensen squeezed his hand, face etched in pain. Jared leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, moving quickly as the ambulance technicians rapidly loaded the gurney in the back.

"It hurts," Jensen whimpered, closing his eyes against the bright overhead light.

"I know it does, baby. They're going to make it better I promise," Jared reassured.

The technician sitting beside him was preparing an IV and talking into a headset, communicating the information they had so far. Jared watched as they slid the IV in, relieved when Jensen started to relax, the warm blankets and safety taking away some of the tension in his body. He kept rubbing his hand that wasn't holding Jared's in slow circles over his stomach, worry evident in the furrow between his eyes.

"Whose his doctor?" the tech asked.

"Dr. Agnit," Jared answered, watching as the tech hooked up the fetal monitor and turned it on. The sound of their baby's heartbeat was a soothing balm against frayed nerves.

"It's a little fast but that's entirely understandable with the night you've both had," she announced, patting Jensen's hand.

Jensen offered a small smile, until another pain washed over him.

"The hospital is contacting your doctor, and he should be there by the time we get you upstairs. I can't give you any pain medicine because they'll want to do the epidural as soon as they get you in the room. Otherwise, your husband won't be able to be in there room with you," the tech explained, taking down notes as she watched the baby's heart rate.

Jensen nodded. He'd read the hospital information Dr. Agnit had provided. They wouldn't allow a spouse in the operating room if they had to put the patient under which is why it was so important to get the epidural before it was too late to do so. Men had the advantage in that respect because the baby couldn't get far down the birth canal, since they didn't have one. That didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell, though, because the baby and nature hadn't figured that out yet.

The ambulance pulled under the hospital canopy, and Jared jumped down, allowing the techs to pull the gurney out. The driver helped transfer all the lines from the machines and the tech that had been in back handed Jared the IV bag to hold up while they pushed Jensen in the doors and to the elevator. When they exited onto the labor and delivery ward, there were several nurses there to meet them. They had been apprised that time was of the essence and they each had a role to play.

A young nurse waited for Jared to assure Jensen he would be back as soon as he was dressed and then led him to a room so he could wash his hands and get into his scrub gown. Jensen, on the other hand was taken into a labor suite which confused him for just a moment until the older nurse explained that they were going to allow him five minutes to wash the sand and sea water off before they pushed him into the delivery room. He accepted the help of both the orderlies who assisted him off the gurney and into the bathroom, staying nearby in case he needed support.

Jensen felt having the remnants of his trauma with Joshua disappearing down the drain along with the sand and saltwater. The pain he was in was worth it knowing that he'd be comfortable after the baby was born and could concentrate on the baby and their family.

The orderly helped him dry and dress, lowering him into the waiting wheelchair before pushing him briskly to the delivery room. When the doors swung open Jensen was relieved to see Jared already waiting for him. Jared and the orderly helped Jensen onto the table, then stepped in front of his husband, so he could look him in the eye.

"We're going to be meeting our baby soon," Jared whispered.

"Yeah, I'm ready how bout you?" Jensen smiled at Jared's nod.

The nurse stepped up behind Jensen, untying the gown and swabbing the base of his spine with antibacterial wash, getting the area ready for the anesthesiologist to do the epidural. She told them the doctor was scrubbing up and would be in shortly. Jensen jumped a little when the anesthesiologist placed a hand on his shoulder and explained the procedure. He apologized for not being able to take his time with the explanation but he had heard time was of the essence, and he'd rather rush the talk than the needle.

Jensen agreed with him whole-heartedly and took the pillow he was offered to lean over and rested his head against Jared's chest. They waited for the last pain to ease before the anesthesiologist started the the insertion, and once done, Jensen was settled on the table and the nurses commenced with the draping and setting up.

Dr. Agnit strolled into the room bringing his calm, competent presence to bear. He stopped at the head of the bed, so he could speak with Jensen before he started the delivery.

"I hear it's been a rough night," the doctor stated.

"Bit of an understatement," Jared mumbled even as Jensen nodded his head at the doctor.

"Well, let's see if we can change that. I think there's a little jumping bean in there that wants to meet the daddies," he answered, moving into position.

Jared sat beside Jensen, running a finger over his husband's cheek. He wasn't sure whom he was trying to sooth, Jensen or himself. Dr. Agnit kept them updated on the progress of the surgery and before they knew it there was a tiny mewling sound followed seconds later by a wail that continued to increase in volume. Jared's grin couldn't be contained, and when he glanced down at Jensen, it was mirrored on his husband's face. They both saw their baby for the first time through a film of unshed tears.

The nurse holding the baby out to Jared smiled at the awe struck parents. "It's a girl," she told them as she placed the tiny baby in Jared's arms.

Jared couldn't imagine loving someone as much as he did Jensen, but it seemed like his ability to love had just quadrupled in a matter of seconds. He shifted the baby in his arms so that Jensen could get a good look at her. She still needed a cleaning, but she was a perfect pink color with ten fingers and ten toes. Her little face wrinkled in displeasure when Jensen kissed her on the nose and Jared couldn't help but laugh because it was an exact copy of Jensen's not happy look.

Jared followed the nurse to the side table and watched as his baby was weighed, measured, and footprinted. He watched them do all the tests that were typically performed at birth, and the nurse announced that she weighed 7' 11'' and was 21 1/2" long.

Jared sat with Jensen, talking to him softly while they waited for the doctor to finish putting Jensen back together. When the nurses came to move them to a room, Jensen sent Jared to the waiting room, knowing his parents and their friends would be waiting for word. Jared promised he'd be back just as soon as he let everyone know they were okay. He couldn't contain the smile that spread across his face and the bounce in his step. Jared was excited to tell his parents that they had a grandaughter, but he was anxious to get back to Jensen, the need to reassure himself that his husband was truly fine after the nights events.

It didn't take long to find his friends and family. Chris was pacing as Steve watched him move from one side of the waiting room to the other. Chad was talking quietly to Sophia, who was twisting her hair into knots that made Jared wince thinking about having to comb it out. His parents were sitting facing the door, and were the first to notice him standing there.

"Jared?" His mom asked, standing and moving to meet her son halfway.

Jared waited until everyone's attention was on him, so he could give them the news. He didn't want to spend too much time away from Jensen, and they would be bringing the baby to the room soon and he wanted to be there for the pediatrician’s visit.

"Jensen is fine," Jared assured everyone. "The doctor said he's going to be tired and sore, but he's going to be okay. Dr. Agnit thought that Jensen had probably been in the early stages of labor before all the excitement and the night's events had just accelerated it. Jensen was right though, we've got a little girl, 7' 11" and 21 1/2 inches long, and she's perfect. They're settling Jensen into a room, and then they'll bring the baby in."

"Have you named her yet?" Jared's dad asked.

"No, not yet. Jensen and I had a deal, if it was a girl like he thought he got to pick the name and if it was a boy I picked the name. I'm sure once they let visitors in that we'll have one for you," Jared assured them.

"How long before we can see them?" Chris asked.

"They have to settle Jensen, and the pediatrician is checking the baby and then they'll bring her down. After that two people can come up at a time. The baby's staying in the room with us, so they're not as strict on the just family clause."

\--------------------------------------------------------

Jared entered the room quietly. The lights were turned down to a lower setting and Jensen was leaning back against the pillows dozing. Jared stood just inside the doorway watching his husband sleep. He couldn't believe how close he'd come to losing not just him but their baby. He sagged back against the wall, the emotions of the day draining the rest of his energy and making his knees weak.

"Why don't you come sit down before you fall down," Jensen suggested sleepily.

"I thought you were asleep," Jared replied, crossing the room and settling down in the chair next to the bed.

"I was, but I felt all violated. Someone was watching me sleep. That's kinda creepy you know," Jensen teased, grinning when Jared waggled his eyebrows.

"I didn't get the chance to tell you how brave you were." Jared reached out, grabbing Jensen's hand.

"I was scared to death," Jensen answered, shaking his head.

"Yes, but you did what you had to do and kept both of you safe until help could get there."

Jensen lay there quietly for a minute. "He killed Jeff." Jensen swallowed past the grief lodged in his throat.

"What do you mean?" Jared asked, confused by the turn of the conversation.

"He told me he was there that day, said he shot off a rifle to start the avalanche," Jensen answered watching Jared closely.

Jared sat lost in thought for a few minutes. "It's possible. There was a sharp crack right before everything went to hell, but I always chalked it up to the ice cracking. I wouldn't put it past him."

Jared looked back at Jensen's worried face. "It's not your fault," Jared told him, knowing exactly what Jensen was thinking.

"I know, but it feels that way." Jensen looked down at his hands.

"You know I never did anything with that woman right?" Jared asked since they both apparently needed to confess things that were Joshua's fault. "I was going to tell you what happened that day, but when I got home you had been sick, and I forgot about it."

"I know, if Joshua had pictures then it had to be a set up. I could tell by the body language it wasn't what it looked like," Jensen reassured him.

Jared sighed leaning back in his chair. "I'm tired."

"Me too," Jensen agreed.

There was a knock on the door before it was pushed open and a nurse wheeled the small cubicle into the room that held their daughter. She showed them where everything was located under the cart and then left them to meet their daughter again.

Jared gently picked her up and carried her over to the bed so Jensen could hold her for the first time. He didn't know if he'd ever see anything in his life that would touch him more than seeing Jensen's face enraptured with the child they had created together. Jared sat down on the corner of the bed content to watch Jensen cuddling their daughter and breathing in that unique baby smell.

"Did you decide on a name?" Jared asked, knowing his husband had been batting around a few for some time.

"Yeah," Jensen looked up at him and then down at their daughter. "Meet Avery Grace Ackles- Padalecki."


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a little over three years since the night Joshua had been eliminated from their lives. Sometimes, he couldn't believe he was finally free. He looked down at the coffee table where Avery was coloring an ornament she wanted to hang on the Christmas tree. Her little eyebrows were pulled together in concentration and her tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth. Harley and Sadie were stretched out beside her both of them having traded out Jensen and Jared for Avery's adoration.

Jensen couldn't get over what a miniature Jared she was. Her glossy brown hair hung in little ringlets all around her head mimicking the way Jared's would curl at the ends if he let it get too long. Her nose was turned up at the end just a little and she had the sweetest little dimples when she smiled, which she did all the time. Jensen swore the only thing she'd gotten from him were her eyes, she had the brightest green eyes and she'd taken lessons from her Pappa and the dogs and knew how to use them to her advantage.

Of course Jared liked to point out that she was as stubborn as Jensen was and that she had his freckles too, but while he hated his he loved his daughters. Avery's were dotted all across the bridge of her nose with a couple sprinkled on the tips of her ears. At night when he put her to bed they played connect the dots making up stories to go with the pictures he was making with her freckles. Jared always read her stories when it was his turn to put her to bed, letting Avery pick from the dozens of books lining her shelves, never seeming to tire when she begged for him to read it one more time.

Jensen was sitting with a small package on the sofa in front of him, nervously glancing at his watch. Jared had called and said he was running a little late but he would be home shortly. Chad and Jared had started their own production company, employing several of the men and women from the center. Jensen had taken his house off the market and signed the deed over to the center to be used for the kids like Gabriel that were attending school so that they only had to worry about utilities while they were getting an education. He thought it would give them a jump start on independence as well as responsibility.

Jeff and Ellen were still seeing each other, both content to take their relationship in slow steady steps. Jensen picked on them that Avery would be getting married before they did, and he'd had to dodge a potato the last time he'd mentioned it to Ellen. Jake had become a constant volunteer at the clinic on call for Chris and Steve whenever they needed a medical opinion or the typical checkup that was involved on the intake of any new persons into the center.

The most surprising development was Chad and Sophia. They had started dating not long after Avery was born and had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. Sophia had announced that she was pregnant the night they'd gone out for dinner and she couldn't celebrate with wine. Chad had called Jared in a panic from the restaurant, and Jensen had to call Sophia just to find out what was going on. Sophia had finally gotten a business loan from a small bank, and Jeff had set her up with Sandy to help her organize the business end of her endeavor since she had taken over much of his.

Jared had talked Jensen into opening his own gallery a few doors down from Sophia's shop. His last showing had been done there and he'd been able to showcase several struggling artists along with a few pieces done by some of his students at the center. Jensen had been thinking of expanding the gallery to include pottery and some of the other genre of art besides painting. Natalie had been able to finish school, it had taken her a year and a half to heal and get up the courage to go back but Jensen had been in the front row when she gotten her diploma and she'd been ecstatic when Jensen hired her to help run the gallery.

Jensen was pulled from his musings when the dogs shot to their feet and Avery right behind them.

"Papa's home! Papa's home!" she squealed, jumping up and down at the door.

Jared opened the door slowly, to keep from knocking her down, and as soon as he was close enough he lifted her into the air and swung her around until she was shrieking and giggling too hard to breath. The dogs were hopping around his feet and barking as they joined in the fun. Jensen waited until everyone had calmed down before he told his husband hello. Jared dropped down on the sofa beside Jensen and inspected the ornament that Avery was holding up for his approval.

"That's gorgeous baby," Jared told their daughter.

Avery beamed at him, kissing his cheek before sitting down to work on her project some more.

Jared looked at the small present on the couch between them. "I thought we were going to wait until tomorrow to exchange presents."

"We are, this is something extra. It's really for both of us," Jensen explained, picking up the box and handing it to Jared.

Jensen hadn't been feeling all that great lately and he'd had a suspicion for several weeks before he finally scheduled a doctor's appointment. He'd been keeping his secret for over two weeks now and it was killing him, there was no way he could wait another night. He watched as Jared took the ribbon off and peeled away the paper, opening the top of the box and pulling out the shinny pieces of paper.

"Is this what I think it is?" Jared asked looking up at Jensen with excitement in his eyes.

"I went a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted it to be a surprise for Christmas," Jensen answered, nodding.

"You're pregnant."

"Yeah, Dr. Agnit said I'm ten weeks along."

Jared looked back down at the pictures. He spread them out on the table, looking at each one, stopping at the last. one. Jared picked it up and looked at it closer, a wrinkle forming between his eyes.

"Jensen? Why does this one have a baby A and a baby B on it?"


End file.
